My (Very Long) Weight Loss Journey

 

I have struggled with my weight since Sophomore year of High School.  It probably started before that, since I was anxious and self conscious during my Middle School years (who wasn’t?)  My friends were skinny – all of them.  I was never a “skinny” girl – I’m not built that way.  But I certainly wasn’t fat when I weighed 140 lbs. Though, I thought I was.

I’ve always been a “comfort food”eater when I’m feeling down.  The Summer after my parents got divorced, I remember eating lots of Lipton soup with noodles.  (Soup has always been my go-to comfort food, FYI.  It reminds me of when I stayed home sick from school when I was little at my Grammy’s house, she always made the most amazing home made Chicken Noodle Soup ever.)  So many carbs.  So much sodium.  I was young then, and I really wasn’t aware of how terrible I was eating.  I was aware, however, when I went back to school shopping in late August and my normal size no longer fit me.  When I stepped on the scale I was devastated at how much  weight I had gained.  And that’s where it all began.

Over the years, I have tried every diet, every fad, you can possibly think of.  I tried lots of diet pills – Stackers, Xenadrine – I convinced myself that they worked, but in reality, they just made my feel anxious.  I would take diuretics and then a really hot bath to shed my water weight/bloat.  I tried the “starve yourself” diet – 500 calories a day, 12 fat grams.  How I managed to do this for almost two months is beyond me.  I was about 17, and I lost 30 lbs so quickly.  Obviously, I gained it back, and more, just as fast, if not faster.  I tried Weight Watchers.  This was back when Weight Watchers kind of sucked.  I remember being baffled by the points system.  My grilled chicken salad with lite Italian dressing and a half of a pita pocket was 12 points.  A Big Mac was also 12 points.  Why the Hell would I want the salad?  An apple was 2 points, but so was a nutri grain bar. Which one would I choose?  I lost about 20 lbs, but I quit that as well.  And gained back my weight.  The same with Jenny Craig.  I lost 20 lbs, but really, can you live on pre-made, frozen meals, forever?  Of course not.  I never stuck with that either.  For a few years, I maintained my weight.  My good friend, Amaritta, taught me a lot about eating healthy.  I started shopping at Trader Joe’s, and made healthier choices.  I really wasn’t losing weight though, probably because I would eat whatever I wanted on the weekends.

It was not until this past January, that I realized I really needed to do something – something that worked.  And it finally clicked.  I had to stop thinking of eating healthy as a “diet”.  I didn’t want to be on a diet, I needed a serious life-style change.  I did join Get in Shape for Women in January, with Greta’s encouragement.  I didn’t know enough about it. Yes, I lost 10 lbs that month, and I was very excited to be down 10 lbs before my vacation to Punta Cana in February, but I quit that as well.  I knew I would never stick to their “diet” for life. It wasn’t reasonable for me.  I don’t want to drink protein shakes.  If I want a cheese stick, I’m going to have a cheese stick.  (Also, FYI for anyone else contemplating joining, I really disliked the owner.  At my first weigh in, I was a little shocked because I had gained weight over the Holiday’s.  I remember the owning asking me, “Do you feel like a failure?”  Ummm, no I didn’t, but I do now.  Bitch.)

I tried eating healthy, and I have maintained my weight since February, give or take a pound or two.  I thought back to my past “diets”, and I realized that what I did like about Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig was that I could go to the meetings and weighed in once a week.  It held me accountable.  So I decided to join Weight Watcher again.

I joined last week.  It’s very, very, different than I remember.  Fruits and vegetables are zero points, which is amazing.  I had my first weigh in today (well, second.  I don’t count the first week because it’s just my starting weight) and I lost 7.4 lbs!  I was shocked and thrilled.  I’m not starving myself.  The first two days were definitely the hardest.  I used to snack mindlessly, so I missed snacking the most.  The first night I went to bed and all I wanted was a vanilla frosted donut from Dunkin Donuts.  Yes, I have to count points, but I can eat whatever I want. Your point value is based on weight, height, age, gender, and physical activity.  So what I eat may not work for someone else, obviously. This week was a little bit of a learning week, figuring out what I like and don’t like, and what is worth the point value and what isn’t.  I was going to post my food journal, but it’s a little bit redundant, seeing that I eat the same thing almost every day.  But I will list some of my favorite finds!

 

(4 Points)

(1 Point! You can have 2 tbsp’s.)

 

(5 Points! My favorite.)

(Green Squash noodles.  I bought it pre-made at Stop & Shop. ZERO POINTS. I mixed them in with Peppers, Onions and Squash.  It was delicious.  And I used spray butter in the pan, so it was all zero points!)

(4Points.  This was worth 4 points for me.)

(4 oz is only 2 points.  Great for a turkey burger.)

(Egg & Cheese on English Muffin from DD. 7 Pts.)

(This is really good for a frozen meal.  6 Points.)

 

Wish me luck on my journey!