Every year, I get really excited for New Years. I start in Mid-December; my bucket list for the New Year, resolutions, goals, vision boards.  Every year, it’s always the same.  I’m going to be super healthy & meal prep every single day.  I am going to plan a workout routine and stick to it.  I’m going to be so positive, and no negativity will be allowed anywhere near my bubble. I typically start out doing really well with my resolutions/goals, and then slowly, as the year goes on, my progress just kind of….fades.  Sometimes I don’t even realize it’s happening until I’ve already fallen completely off the wagon.

I started out this year like I typically do – I made my vision board, I made a list of goals, and things I would like to do this year.  Only this time around, I adjusted my plans just a tad.  I didn’t start with the “New Year, New Me” mentality like I normally would have.  How is “New Year, New Me” a healthy mindset?  That’s like saying something is wrong with the “old me”, and that’s not true.  I want to be the same me, just a better, improved version of myself.  And I believe that every single year, I do work on that.  When I look at where I was five years ago, mentally, spiritually, emotionally – I know I have grown tremendously.  No, I might not be where I want to be physically – yet, but that will come.  I have a very “all or nothing” mentality, and I want to banish that this year.  My goals do not have to be all or nothing, because for me, that’s unrealistic.  I don’t like working out, not really.  (I always feel great after I work out, but getting myself to go to the gym is a struggle.)  This year, I would like to find a work out that I actually enjoy.  And no, I’m not going to work out every single day.  (Maybe, eventually, one day I will want to do that.  But to start out, I know I won’t stick to that.  I would basically be setting myself up for failure.)

Yes, I do have many goals I would like to accomplish this year – only, this time around, I want to take it slow.  I don’t care if I move at turtle’s pace, progress is progress.  It doesn’t matter to me how long it takes.  I think human beings in general should be constantly evolving and growing.  I believe that I will forever be “a work in progress” – because no one is perfect, and trying to obtain some level of perfection is just ridiculous.  And for the first time ever, I realize that I’m okay with that.  More than okay, actually.  I don’t feel overwhelmed by my resolutions this time around; I feel excited.  And it’s really good feeling.

With that being said, however, it did take me some time to actually come to this realization.  I had a conversation with my Mom, and she helped me put things into perspective.  We are only a few days into 2018, and I told her I was feeling kind of depressed.  It’s been so cold here in New England, it hurts just to step outside.  I also had some kind of bug on the 2nd, and I finally started to feel like myself this morning, so I was sick for a couple of days.  There’s also a blizzard outside currently,  and I hate that trapped feeling, even though I’m grateful for a snow day.  So yeah, being cooped up for the last four days and not feeling well can obviously make a person feel somewhat blah.  I shared with her that I get really excited for the New Year, and then when January rolls around I realize that everything is still exactly the same.  Saying it aloud made me realize how ridiculous I sounded.  When the clock strikes midnight on January 1st, nothing magical happens – of course everything is the same.  Things only change when you change them.  Just because it’s a New Year doesn’t mean that my mindset is going to automatically be positive – that’s something that I have to actively work on. Especially because I’m prone to anxiety, which in turn, does make me feel depressed.  Talking things through with my Mom made me feel better, and it helped me put some perspective on my goals and ways that I can accomplish them.  (Thanks Mama, I love you!)

I usually don’t share my Vision Boards, but lately I’ve really been into putting things out into the Universe that you want, so here we go.  Keywords from my board:

• Engagement
• New Home
• Trust yourself
• Self-employed
• Create
• Travel
• In Love
• Fearless
• Bright Future
• Balance
• Blonde Ambition
• Self Care
• Happy Place
• Be yourself
• Health

These keywords are ultimately what I want, and some are what I have (but would like to grow more with/learn more of).  It’s out there in the Universe, and I’m ready for it.  (Side Note: I’m aware that I have a blank space on there….I’ve tried to fill it, and I’ve yet to find something that I believe fits.  We’ll see.)

When I reviewed my Vision Board from last year, I did notice that some (not all) of what I had wanted did come true. I’ll show you:

 

2017 Vision Board:

• Bebe Rexha (the Platinum blonde @ the top left-ish) > I’m finally back to blonde.
• Find your voice at work/upgrade your job > I have 100% found my voice at work.  I also got the raise I asked for.
• The pretty desk > My desk may not be as pretty as the one in my board, but I did get one, and I now have my own writing space.  I also made it cute.
• Power Couple/Feeling the love/Really big love/Dinner for two/Look hot together/Forever > I fall more in love with Saul every single day. I know that sounds cheesy, but I don’t care.  He’s my person, and I just love him so much.
• “Private Show” ~ Britney Spears > I went to Vegas with Melissa and finally saw Brit perform Piece of Me.  One of my favorite memories of 2017 for sure.
• Escape to the country > Traveled to Wisconsin for Jessi’s wedding over the Summer.  It was wonderful.
• Let the good times roll > I had a lot of fun memories this year – Vegas, Jena’s birthday in Newport, Jessi’s Wedding, Girls days, weddings in general, etc.
• Engagement > No, I’m not yet engaged, however, Saul & I did go look at rings, and that was a huge step for us.  And an extremely exciting one.

No, not everything came true from the board.  But like I said before – I am a work in progress.  What I want is out in the Universe, and what’s meant to happen will happen when it’s supposed to.  Until then,  I will keep working on/towards my goals, and working on being the best version of me that I can be.

 

This year, I do vow to blog more.  It’s funny – I started off this morning racking my brain about what to post for my blog, and I kept coming up blank. My creative juices were so not flowing, and I was annoyed.  I also shared this with my mom.  After we spoke about that, along with my feelings on the new year, she suggested I blog about everything that we had spoken about.  “You think I should blog about the fact that I can’t come up with a topic for a blog?” I asked her skeptically.  “Not just that,” she had responded.  “How you were feeling about the new year, and not being able to come up with anything.”  I wasn’t sure at first, but once I sat down at the computer and started, it came.  Sometimes you can find inspiration in the most unlikely of places.

 

 

I hope everyone’s 2018 is going wonderfully so far.  And if it’s not, it’s okay!  Every day is a new chance to get it right.