PUMP RULES: EITHER HIM OR ME

We’re back at Pride, where James is walking around telling everyone (or himself, really) that he’s a “star” and that “people are trying to sink my boat.”  They replay what he said to Katie last week, and I’m just disgusted.  

Everyone is still out back, but they’re all kind of scattered into their own little groups.  Raquel is now talking to Scheana about the whole situation, and she tells her that she doesn’t know if Hope is a reliable source, which Scheana agrees with. Stassi tells us in her confessional that it’s common knowledge that “James cheats all the time.” Back to Raquel and Scheana – Raquel feels like “James broke her heart” – did she mean Kristen, or Hope? – so now she feels like the girls are coming for her.  Scheana feels like “Hope tells a lot of stories”, so she doesn’t know what to believe.  Basically Scheana has Raquel’s back, but I’m getting a weird vibe from it.  It’s not coming across as completely genuine to me…I feel like Scheana is currently on the outs with everyone (maybe not on the outs, but she’s not BFF’s with the rest of the girls) and she is going to cling on to Raquel to have a girlfriend.  Which is actually kind of sad.

Raquel seeks out Hope; Hope and Kristen are talking, and Raquel asks if she can talk to Hope alone.  Kristen excuses herself, and Raquel asks Hope what went down at Coachella.  “Coachella was minimal; us hooking up became more and more of a thing.”  Before I go on, can I just say one thing?  Why are we all pretending like what Hope did isn’t super fucked up?  We’re all going after James here, and Hope is clearly no saint. Raquel asks, “You’ve been sleeping with James since Coachella two years ago?”  To which Hope replies, “I’ve been sleeping with him for three years.”  This is so fucked up.  Raquel “needs more proof”, which literally just blows my mind.  Hope goes on to tell Raquel that she’s a beautiful person and James is just horrible, blah blah blah.  Hope, get off of your high horse.  What you did is absolutely despicable, and I’m not giving you credit for coming clean to Raquel, because I don’t think your intentions in telling her are genuine.  If Kristen wasn’t coming for James this season, would this have even come out? Probably not.

Jax is behind the bar, and Stassi approaches and asks him for some drinks.  Jax asks Stassi what’s going on, and Stassi says that a lot of shit with Raquel and James, and that James is basically talking shit to everyone, and that he’s so weird.  I’m honestly LOLing at James when he creepily waltzes up behind Stassi, completely wasted.  He asks Jax for a drink – well, more like demands a drink, and is just being rude, and Stassi tells him to stop it.  Of course, in typical James fashion, he always has to take it one step too far – “You’ve gotta be able to take a joke, Stassi, you’ve got a dildo up your ass.”  Jax looks appalled, while Stassi looks mildly amused and disgusted.  “I wish I had a dildo up my ass.”  LMAO, I love her. 

Lisa catches James looking wasted, and is concerned.  She pulls aside Raquel and tells her that she basically needs to get James in order, and she’s sorry to put this on her but she doesn’t want to see him with another drink in his hand.  I don’t think anyone, let alone Raquel, is capable of stopping James Kennedy from continuing to drink when he’s already wasted, but hey, I mean, we can try, right?  Raquel finds James and tells him that Lisa doesn’t want to see him drunk.  But then, she brings up Hope.  I have to remember that Raquel is super young, so I shouldn’t be so judgey.  But Jesus, why in Gods name would you bring up Hope right now?  I get it, you’re pissed, you’re confused, you’re hurt, you don’t know who to believe.  But right now is absolutely not the time to talk about whether or not James fucked Hope.  You know he’s completely wasted, this conversation is not going to go anywhere positive.  Of course, James gets pissed off and says, “Tell that whore to go fuck herself.”  James is annoyed, and just kind of walks away.  Raquel actually follows him, practically chasing him down the street, calling his name.  Christ, have some self respect.  If all of these girls are constantly saying that they fucked your boyfriend, then guess what?  They probably actually did.  Sorry not sorry.

It’s the day after Pride, and we’re at Katie and Tom’s.  I’m dying at Tom, so hungover on the couch, saying, “All of these half shots add up.”  LMAO.  Katie is telling Tom what happened between herself and James at Pride.  Tom is shocked that James went there with Katie (again!) and says that he’s a fucking asshole.  Katie is just over it – the body shaming is completely unacceptable, and I agree with her.  Tom gets up to hug her, and I’m crying laughing at Tom in his Mumu – I love them.  BUBBA ❤

Over at James and Raquel’s, James is putting together furniture, and they’re rehashing the day before.  James is saying that Hope is a stalker, and everyone is coming for him – and I’m confused why he feels like he is the victim? Raquel feels like they were coming for her, not James.  Peter calls, and James answers all excited to talk to the Birthday Boy (Peter and Carter are having a joint birthday party later on that night at Sur) but Peter tells him, “I have to disinvite you to my party.”  James tells us it’s a “gutting feeling.”  James, what did you expect after your behavior at Pride?  Raquel tells him that his actions have consequences, and James kind of blows it off, saying that he blames Sandoval’s drinks because “they don’t taste like alcohol” and it all just kind of snuck up on him. Raquel disagrees with this – she thinks that James has been drinking a lot, and she doesn’t like the person he becomes when he does drink.  She also doesn’t want him to get fired – she tells him Lisa was not happy with him yesterday, and James groans, as if this is first time he realizes how fucked up he actually was.  Raquel says she doesn’t want James to drink ever again (which is honestly ironic, because she’s in her confessional with a martini right next to her, LMAO.)

Over at Sur, Lisa is talking to Peter, and in comes Teddi!! (For those of you who don’t know, Teddi is on RHOBH with Lisa.)  I was super excited for a Teddi cameo, honestly.  Teddi apologizes for the loss of Lisa’s brother, and even though Lisa doesn’t want to talk about it, Teddi is very sweet.  They sit down and have tea, and I really like the friendship between these two.  Teddi’s brother is moving to LA, and Teddi was hoping that Lisa could interview him for a possible job at Sur – and Lisa says that she’ll interview him.  Back to LVP’s Brother – my heart hurts for Lisa.  I feel like she needs more time to mourn and grieve, and I just want to give her a hug.

It’s Peter and Carter’s Birthday Party!  I’m LOLing, because Scheana came to the party with Adam, the same guy she tried to set up Brittany with last year when her and Jax were going through some shit.  Sandoval’s dad is there, and they’re basically twins.  Brittany and Stassi are talking – and Scheana joins them, bringing them cake to share.  (LOLing at Stassi’s eye roll, so annoyed that Scheana interrupted her and Britt.)  Brittany asks Scheana what she thinks about the whole situation with James, and nothing Scheana says even remotely makes sense.  She starts by saying that Hope has made up stuff in the past, which pisses Stassi off. But she keeps flip flopping with her opinion, because at one point she says she believes that James has definitely cheated on Raquel at some point in their relationship.  Stassi is annoyed with her – she tells her that she doesn’t have loyalty to anyone, and everyone is bitter about it.

Meanwhile, Peter tells Jax he’s officially hired at Sur, which I think we all saw coming.  Stassi and Britt have parted ways, and now Stassi and Ariana are talking about their upcoming birthdays, and they’re going to throw a joint party, and it has to be better than Carter and Peter’s.  (I’m loving this new friendship, FYI.  And the way they describe it – Stassi basically stalked Ariana and wanted to be friends with her, and Ariana got tired of always being a bitch to her and just embraced it.  LMAO.)  Scheana sees Ariana and Stassi laughing and having fun together, and she’s jealous and annoyed.  She says that Ariana is still one of her best friends, but she’s talked all this shit about Stassi and now they’re close. Scheana doesn’t know where she stands.  I think she just feels left out.

Katie is planning a girls night out, and wants it to be “Old Hollywood” themed.  She tells the girls, “It will be us, (meaning herself, Brittany, Stassi and Ariana) and Kristen.”  Ariana points out that Scheana will feel hurt that she isn’t included, and Katie says, “We don’t hang out with Scheana.”  Ariana feels bad, but she’s also still going to go.  She says that Scheana is a big girl, and if she has issues with the Witches of WeHo then she can fix it.  I’m really not sure how I feel about this, to be honest.  I see both sides, but I don’t like people feeling left out. 

The next day we are at Artisan Cheese with Brittany and Jax.  They’re sampling different types of cheese, because we learn that they plan on opening their own business, “Mamaw’s Beer Cheese.”  LOL I love these two.  They sit down with their cheese platter, and Britt tells Jax how she’s going out with the girls, and Jax informs Britt that the guys are planning on having a guys night.  Britt talks about how she feels really bad for Raquel, and wants to invite her out with the girls.  She knows how Raquel feels, she’s been through it, and she worries that Raquel doesn’t have many friends in LA.  She doesn’t want her to go through this alone.  I think Brittany is honestly the sweetest baby Angel in the world. She genuinely has a heart of gold.  

It’s Guys Night/Girls Night.  The guys are at Sur – James and Jax are working, and The Toms are here with Sandoval’s Dad to have dinner.  Schwartz tells Sandoval and his Dad that he needs to talk to James about what happened with Katie at Pride.  I love Schwartz, he’s so cute. He hates confrontation, but Katie is the love of his life and he has to stick up for her.  He approaches James, and James apologizes before Schwartz even says anything.  I love when Tom’s like, “Katie’s not fat, she’s sexy and luscious.” Then he tells James to say it, LMAO.  It’s so annoying though, because James acts like he’s genuinely apologetic, and then he talks shit in his confessional, saying,  I made fun of her weight, slightly. Everyone’s blowing it up into this big thing – bigger than her.”  You’re disgusting James.

The girls are all arriving for girls night, looking fabulous.

The Toms are at Schwartz’s apartment – I’m LOLing at Sandoval telling Schwartz that his shaker is really expensive, and to be careful….and then drops it.  LMAO.  Jax comes in on his little beer scooter thingy, and they’re just hanging out.

Back over with the girls, Britt tells the group she invited Raquel, and Kristen looks dismayed and says, “I thought you were joking.”  The Witches of WeHo are all looking at each other like WTF.  Brittany explains that she feels for her, and everyone is just kind of like, “You’re really nice, Brittany.”  It’s weird though, because it doesn’t seem like it’s in a complimentary way.  Raquel arrives, and Katie immediately is like, “Does anyone need to go to the bathroom?” And then the Witches get up and don’t even pretend to go to the bathroom, they literally sit at the bar and talk shit. Ariana and Brittany are very sweet; they are kind to Raquel.  Brittany expresses her worries, and she tells Raquel that she gets it, she’s been there.  The Witches rejoin them, and someone brings up James body shaming Katie, and Raquel said that she had no idea that James had said that. Raquel asks if they think it’s just when James is drinking, and Katie says she doesn’t care.  Stassi comes around; she gets it and feels for Raquel too.  I mean, look at Patrick.  Raquel, however, is not really here for this intervention.  “You guys don’t see the James that I see though.”  Kristen is being a total bitch to Raquel, and I’m not sure why.  Raquel isn’t at fault here, especially towards Kristen.  If anything, Raquel should be pissed at Kristen for bombarding her at Pride.  Katie is being a bitch to her also, but I can kind of see why Katie is.  I think she’s taking her anger out on Raquel for what James said, which isn’t fair, but I understand it in a very weird way.  I have no tolerance for the way James spoke to Katie, and Raquel makes excuses for him, which can be infuriating.  Katie is annoyed, and she tells the group that she doesn’t feel comfortable working with James any longer, and she’s going to talk to Lisa.  The group kind of looks shocked.

The next day we are at Sur, and Katie is there, waiting to speak with Lisa.  They sit down, and Lisa asks Katie if she’s okay, and she says yes, but she’s clearly acting weird.  Lisa tells her that she’s making her nervous, and asks if she should be worried.  Katie’s like, “Well…..” Katie then fills Lisa in on everything that went on at Pride with James, and Lisa didn’t realize the extent of how bad it was.  Lisa is worried that this will make Katie feel insecure, but that’s not what Katie is worried about.  Katie’s more upset that his behavior is tolerated and that he is able to get away with it.  She tells Lisa that the comment about her weight was her “Final Straw.”  Katie asks Lisa what she is going to do about the situation, and Lisa tells her that she will talk to James, but she hasn’t decided.  Katie then drops a bombshell that she can’t work with James.  Lisa says “So you’re basically giving me an ultimatum.”  Katie thinks about it and says, “Well, yeah.  I’ve only given one other ultimatum in my life, and that worked out, so….”

They leave us on a total cliff hanger, and in the previews for next week we see James literally crying and pleading with Lisa to let him keep his job.

I’m unsure how I feel about all of this you guys! What are your thoughts!? 

Until next week….

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