RHOBH: SUN & SHADE IN THE BAHAMAS

We’re in The Bahamas, at Baha Mar. What a gorgeous resort. The girls are all heading to their rooms, and they plan on meeting at Dorit’s suite later that night to have drinks on her balcony.

LVP is rooming with Dorit after all. They’re out on the balcony talking to each other, when Dorit asks, “Are you happy to be good friends with me?” Lisa loves to tease Dorit, and responds, “Yes, because right now I’m reaping the benefits.” Dorit doesn’t find this funny. She’s paranoid that LVP is holding a grudge about Puppy Gate (that’s what I’m calling this from now on) and I can’t say her paranoia is misplaced.

Teddi & Kyle are chatting in their room that they’re sharing. Teddi shares with Kyle that she’s getting along with Dorit better. Jagger & Cruise (Teddi & Dorit’s children) have bonded, and they’ve both set their own differences aside for their kids.

Back over on Dorit’s balcony, she tells us & Lisa that she’s so glad Lisa came on the trip, and she’s happy that they can connect. I do believe Dorit does feel terrible about Puppy Gate, and she just wants things to go back to normal with LVP.

Switching back over to Teddi & Kyle – they discuss the jabs LVP was throwing towards Dorit on the PJ, and how they believe Dorit’s feelings were hurt. Neither of them believe LVP is over Puppy Gate.

The Girls are all getting ready for drinks, and Rinna is the first to arrive at Dorit & LVP’s suite.

Can I just say I fucking love Denise? These bitches faces when she walks in her white tank & white shorts – so snobby! Except for Camille, who is such a sweetheart. (“I love your shorts!”) I’m LOLing when Denise tells us, “I packed the wrong shit, I learned that quickly.” I totally get where she’s coming from – you’re having drinks on a balcony with the girls. I would’ve worn cute pajamas, but that’s just me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Kyle & LVP are talking off to the side, and LVP is emotional when she tells Kyle that she should make up with her sisters. We learn that Kyle & Kim are okay, but Kyle & Kathy are not. Rinna joins them, and LVP tells them both that Elvis, her butler, is going to bring his cat to her room. Kyle comments and says, “Maybe that’s why Dorit had an allergic reaction, is she allergic to cats?” (Side note: earlier in the episode, Dorit apparently had an allergic reaction to something, we don’t know what. She took Benadryl & was fine.) Lisa Vanderpump says, “I don’t know, we should find out.” Then fucking Kyle blurts out, “Maybe she’s allergic to dogs.” I literally yelled ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KYLE at the tv screen at this point. Cause that wasn’t premeditated at all! (Insert eye roll.) Rinna comments how it just got really quiet, and wants to know what’s going on. LVP is keeping quiet, but Kyle can’t let it go. “Are you still mad at her?” Kyle asks LVP, referring to Dorit. Rinna is completely in the dark, or at least she’s pretending to be. They end the conversation and join the other girls.

Kyle – WTF is your end game here?

The next morning, Kyle & Teddi are in their room and they’re talking about the night before. Kyle tells Teddi that “Dorit’s dog came up” and it’s like, yes, Lucy did come up – because of you. Rinna joins them, and then they both fill her in on the entire Puppy Gate scandal.

I honestly do get what Rinna was saying – I do believe LVP was trying to set up Teddi &/or Kyle. I think she’s still pissed at Dorit, and wanted a way to get this out there without having to dirty her own hands. The entire situation at Vanderpump Dogs the day Teddi & Kyle visited was bizarre. If LVP didn’t want it talked about, I guarantee you it wouldn’t have been brought up. I actually think LVP had John Blizzard tell Teddi via text, knowing she could use it against her later. However, I don’t think Kyle is innocent in all of this – she was intent on talking about it.

The girls boat off to some private island, and they’re all having a blast. LVP & Denise are getting massages and bonding over the fact that they both adopted children, which was a heartwarming moment. The rest of the girls are swimming and drinking and just having a good time.

Rinna really came to play this season. The girls all sit down for lunch, and Rinna tells the group that Dorit brought them all on the trip to address anything that needs to be addressed. (Stir that pot Lisa.) She wants the girls to go around the table and say who has an issue about what, etc. (Lmao, only Rinna.) She tells us, “It opens up conversations.” To which Camille replies, “Or it could open up Pandora’s Box.” Camille still goes along with it though, and she brings up the fact that she had issues with Dorit last year (does “Camille you’re a stupid cunt” ring a bell?) but she’s moved past that and she’s enjoying her time and thanks Dorit for inviting her.

Dorit brings up the issues she’s had with Teddi, and how they’re both working on moving past it and how their sons became fast friends.

Erika has nothing to say, she’s good, and then it’s over to LVP. She tells us it’s just nice to be amongst friends….but-”

If she’s being absolutely honest, she has to address the fact that Erika didn’t call her when her brother passed, she sent a sympathy card/note. This is beyond ridiculous. Erika & LVP are NOT friends. They work together and film a TV show together, and have the same group of friends. Erika was not obligated to call Lisa. A sympathy card 100% suffices. Erika is pissed at being called out, and rightfully so. She pretty much tells LVP off, and tells her to not try to make her out to be the bad guy. Lisa gets emotional, and she tells Erika she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. They do make up, and the awkwardness disappears.

Later that night, the girls are getting ready to go to dinner. Rinna stops by Erika’s room, and they talk about what went down at lunch. Erika says she doesn’t understand what happened at the table today, and Rinna agrees. Erika pulls out her phone and shows Rinna a picture of the card she gave to LVP. “Bitch, you come with receipts!” 😂😂

The girls are at dinner at Cleo’s, and they’re all chatting and enjoying each other. (We learn that Teddi was going to be named BabyDoll LMAO, & Kyle was supposed to be a boy, so she was named after a football player.) Rinna & Dorit get up to go to the bathroom, and Kyle takes this opportunity to confront LVP.

“I’m feeling really weird about all the side convos right now about the dog.”

Erika chimes in and immediately is like, “I don’t want to know this.” Teddi says that she & Kyle didn’t want to know it either. Teddi then asks LVP if Dorit knows that they know about the situation, and LVP tells her that Dorit knows that she knows, not Kyle. Teddi looks anxious & exasperated.

Rinna & Dorit are back from the bathroom, but the conversation doesn’t stop. Teddi says that she felt anxious, because she felt like she wasn’t truthful to Dorit.

Dorit clams up and says she doesn’t want to go to a bad place.

Teddi tells her side of the story – which is the truth. Everything she says is accurate – Teddi & Kyle were at Vanderpump Dogs, and John Blizzard and John Sessa brought out Lucy.

Dorit looks absolutely horrified. Rinna tells LVP that she should’ve shut it down, and LVP shoots back, “I have 400 employees, I can’t control what they all say and do.” (Bullshit.) In LVPs confessional, she tells us that the situation wouldn’t have happened at all if Dorit handled it properly. I agree with that 100%, however, I don’t believe LVP is as innocent as she’s pretending to be.

Dorit begins to re-explain herself, and at the end of table, Denise looks confused. “I don’t even know what these bitches are fighting about.” Lmao.

The girls are all arguing their own points, and then Rinna jumps in. She turns to LVP and says, “This wouldn’t get out there if you didn’t want it to. It’s a set up.”

I can’t say I disagree with Rinna on that. LVP tells Dorit that she doesn’t believe for a second she had any ill intent, however, the dog should’ve been returned to her from the get go. LVP is not wrong.

Dorit becomes upset, and Teddi, Kyle & Rinna comfort her, while LVP asks, “Why is Dorit upset?”

LVP also says that she had no idea Teddi would be gossiping about it, which is complete bullshit. Teddi’s had enough and she storms off, leaving us with a cliff hanger.

Honestly, I’m over talking about Puppy Gate and it’s only the 3rd episode. Do I think LVP is mad at Dorit and wants to punish her? Yes. Do I think LVP tried to use Teddi and Kyle as scapegoats? Yes. Do I think Kyle wanted to get this out in the open for whatever reason during this trip? Yes. Do I think Dorit was wrong for not just giving Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs to begin with? Yes.

However, this entire situation is so overly dramatic. I understand that Lisa is grieving, but this could’ve been shut down a long time ago. If LVP was mad at Dorit, which she clearly is, then just fucking own it! She would have every right to be mad at her. What Dorit did was wrong. Good intentions or not, Lucy still ended up at a shelter. But LVP insisted she wasn’t mad at Dorit, so in that case, stop talking about it.

What a shit show.

Next week, we see Ken has printed out texts between Teddi & John Blizzard (I think), and I’m just like shaking my head. Ken is such a chick, please give me a break.

God, this episode was utterly exhausting. My highlight was living vicariously through Erika Jayne and her 70 inch pony tail and fabulous Glam Squad.

Until next week…..

RHOBH: EAT YOUR HEART OUT

Not going to lie, I feel like this episode was totally a filler episode, which is honestly unacceptable this early on in the season. But I will say that I love Erika Jayne so much, and watching her gives me genuine joy. Anyway.

We start out with Kyle meeting LVP at Villa Rosa. They head out to Epione, where Lisa “rejuvenates her neck.” Honestly, this scene made me sad, because we know that in real time, Lisa & Kyle aren’t speaking. I feel like they truly do have a good friendship, it seems sincere to me & they always have fun together. They’re being silly; Lisa gets laughing gas before getting the fillers, and they’re just having a good time. It feels as though they’re totally good one on one, but can’t handle being friends with everyone else around.

Erika meets Rinna & Dorit for lunch. Erika orders a beer – whatever they have in a bottle, and Dorit loves this. She starts reminiscing on old times, where she did “keg handstands” when she was 16. (Isn’t it just called a keg stand? LOL.) Dorit fills Rinna in on the robbery – and somewhat of the Lucy situation. She tells Lisa that she can’t even talk about the dog situation. It’s clearly bothering her. Dorit also suggests a Girls Trip.

They talk about possible places they could go (Erika nonchalantly saying, “I think we have a place in Tahoe” is giving me life 😂) and they end up settling on The Bahamas.

Over at Denise’s, we’re learning more about her and her family. She has three daughters, Sami, who we see in this scene, Lola, and Eloise. Sami and Lola’s Dad is Charlie Sheen, and Eloise, the youngest at age 7, was adopted. Denise actually addresses that there was a rumor that Eloise was Charlie’s daughter, that he had with a hooker. She says it’s untrue. They have a beautiful house on the beach in Malibu, and Denise’s boyfriend, Aaron, also lives with them. Denise and Aaron have been together for a year.

Denise asks Sami about Homecoming – Sami says she hasn’t been asked, but she’s going if she does get asked. Denise tells her she can’t date until she’s 16, and that her father would agree with her. Sami calls her dad (Charlie) right then and there to ask him, and I love his response that he would trust her judgment about who she would go with. Denise disagrees, but we don’t talk about the conversation any further.

At Dorit’s, we watch her telling PK that she is planning a Girls Trip, and is going to invite everyone. Yes, even Teddi! Dorit says that she wants to give Teddi a chance – their arguments have all been trivial, and she’s ready to move on. PK asks if she’s going to invite LVP, to which Dorit replies, “Of course.” It’s obvious Dorit is fretting about the Lucy situation – she tells us in her confessional that she just hopes Lisa knows that she had good intentions. She wants to move forward with that situation also.

I have to say, you guys, PK was kinda sorta growing on me in this scene. I know – like WTF!? I don’t know – he just seemed really supportive of Dorit & it was nice. I’m sure I’ll change my mind next week, but for now, I’m okay with PK. 😂 (Please don’t roast me.)

Teddi & Rinna meet, and they’re going on a hike/walk. Teddi tells Lisa about a role she just played in a movie. She says that she wanted to be an actress when she was younger, but her manager told her she had to lose weight if she wanted to get a role, which crushed her. Hearing Teddi talk about her struggle with food was very relatable to me, and is probably relatable to a lot of people. Teddi said that “food was her best friend” – she was an emotional eater. I understand that feeling completely. Honestly, Teddi is inspiring to me. I feel like I need an accountability coach, and I wish I lived in LA so she could be mine. Also I give her so much credit for all of her hard work and determination. It’s so motivating. You go girl.

Kyle visits Mauricio at work, and she gets emotional when she talks about the fact that Sophia is leaving for college. Mauricio is really sweet – he reassures Kyle. I understand where Kyle’s coming from – I’m not a mom, but I think a lot also has to do with change. It’s hard.

At Rinna’s, she’s taking to her daughter Amelia, who has opened up about the fact she had an eating disorder. Amelia seems wise beyond her years to me. She addresses the disorder and says, “I’m not out of it. I’ll never be out of it.” Which is true of anyone who has an eating disorder, addiction, mental health issue – you can get through it, but it’s still something you battle for the rest of your life. Amelia is very strong and very mature, especially seeing that she’s only 17.

Lisa Rinna is having the girls over to do some baking/pastry making/I don’t really know what. LVP & Kyle aren’t coming – Kyle is doing a Tequila Tasting w/Mauricio (did I hear that right?) and Rinna says that Giggy is sick.

Cut to LVP & Ken – she meets him at the restaurant for lunch, and she tells us she’s just too emotional to go over to Rinna’s and put on a happy face when it’s just a facade. Totally understandable. Lisa tells Ken about the girls trip, and he thinks that Lisa should go. Lisa admits she could use the break but is worried about leaving, especially with Giggy being sick. We learn that Giggy needs a pace maker and my heart breaks. Poor little babe. Lisa also brings up Dorit, and tells Ken – “Sometimes Dorit calls it wrong.” She tells us in her confessional that she thinks Dorit handled the Lucy situation all wrong – but she loves her anyway. (Side note: If all of this is true, then why the hell are we still talking about!?)

Back at Rinna’s, the girls are all getting along and being silly. We learn that Aaron, Denise’s boyfriend, is currently still married to Nicolette Sheridan. She tells us that they’ve been separated for two years but their divorced isn’t finalized, and they’re getting married as soon as it is. We then learn that once upon a time Harry Hamlin was also married to Nicolette Sheridan. LMAO, did not know that. I’m not sure if Rinna says she cheated on him with Michael Bolton, but we all cheers to him, so that’s that.

The girls are all ready to go to The Bahamas – they’re off in the PJ. I actually really liked Dorit in this scene, she was so excited to be the one who planned the trip.

She tells LVP she wants to share a suite with her, and LVP says she’s not sharing a room with anyone. LVP is a tricky one sometimes. I honestly feel like this was Dorit extending an olive branch to her, and then they could be alone, off camera, and have a chance to talk and clear the air, and make things right between them again.

However, after LVP says she’s not sharing with anyone, she asks Kyle if she can stay in a three person suite with her. (Something along those lines, I might have the wording wrong.) Kyle then sticks up for Dorit, who looks hurt.

LVP says that Dorit snores, and I can’t tell if she’s just poking fun at Dorit and trying to be silly, or if she’s actually just being a bitch and this is her way of trying to get back at her.

Next week, shit looks like it’s about to go down. And I cannot wait.

Tell me all your thoughts! Leave me a comment.

Until next week….

RHOBH S9: LUCY LUCY APPLE JUICY

I’ve been waiting FOREVER for the lovely ladies of BH to grace their presence on my TV screen – and they’re finally back!

We start off with the most ominous music ever, and just a glimpse of a massive fight between Kyle & LVP. We see Ken scream at Kyle, and she storms out of their home.

If that’s not foreshadowing at its finest…

The next screen tells us: Two Months Earlier; and then the show begins.

We start off basically catching up with all the ladies. Kyle is having a pool party, and she’s sending out texts to all the girls. Her new home is finally completed, and she wants to throw a party so it feels like a home and not just a house. We also learn that Teddi has bought a new house as well, and she loves it. I feel like I’m loving Teddi already this season – she seems more confident and sure of herself this time around. I also find her to be so genuine, it’s refreshing.

Catching up with Lisa Rinna is always interesting. She’s going to a yoga class at Laughing Frog Yoga with her daughters, Delilah Belle & Amelia Gray. Not just regular yoga – goat yoga. So, so, bizarre. It’s a silly time over all, and Lisa enjoys the time spent with her daughters. Delilah Belle is planning on moving home from NYC – she’s been there a year, and she’s lonely. Lisa is very proud of her. I was surprised to learn that Delilah suffered/suffers from anxiety. I love an anxiety story that has a happy ending – clearly Delilah has come a long way.

Over at Villa Rosa, Lisa Vanderpump and Ken are talking about the passing of Lisa’s brother three months prior. This scene truly breaks my heart. Clearly, Lisa’s brothers death has had a huge impact on her, and she is still mourning. I can’t imagine what Lisa is feeling or has been through. I do like that Lisa brings up the fact that her brother did take his own life, and she addresses how other people say that it’s a selfish thing to do. I agree with Lisa wholeheartedly – it’s not selfish. If someone is desperate enough to take their own life, they are in so much pain and feel so hopeless. They don’t see another way out. I’m so emotional watching this, my heart just truly hurts for Lisa, and I’m sending her all of the love and prayers.

Kyle & Teddi meet up – we learn that Kyle is very close with Teddi. They’ve grown closer since last season, and they have an easygoing friendship that seems fun and lighthearted.

Dorit & Erika also meet up. (Who would’ve thought these two would have a friendship one day after all the shit that went down with Panty Gate?) Dorit informs Erika that she & PK’s House was recently robbed, and it really shook her up. Okay, I’m not trying to be an ass, because I can’t even imagine what being robbed would feel like, and that’s a terrible thing that happened to her, but the fact that Dorit felt like she needed to go to Utah after it happened and climbed a mountain made me LOL. I’m sorry, that’s so strange. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

At Vanderpump Dogs, Teddi arrives with her daughter, Slate, and Kyle arrives with her daughter, Portia. LVP arrives shortly after, and they’re chatting with John Sessa and John Blizzard, who are both employees of Lisa.

Immediately, Lisa makes a comment to Kyle about how she copied her car. Kyle shrugs it off, but it’s obvious to me right off the bat that there’s still so much tension between these two. Their relationship last season was definitely strained, and it seems like it has a weird, competitive edge to it now.

One of the John’s brings out a dog – Lucy – and he asks Kyle and Teddi, “You don’t recognize this one?” LVP tells him to stop, and Kyle & Teddi look confused as Lisa walks away. They follow, but they don’t let the conversation drop. Someone mentions that it’s Dorit’s dog, and Kyle asks if she’s getting groomed. John tells her, “No, she’s back with us again.” “It didn’t work out?” Kyle asks, to which LVP snaps, “I am not talking about this.”

Kyle looks confused, Teddi looks uncomfortable, and I’m just wondering WTF is going on at this point. Lisa finally says that Dorit adopted Lucy, and she ended up in a shelter. The shelter contacted LVP & they took Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs.

Meanwhile, at Erika’s, Dorit tells her about the Lucy situation. Lucy “wasn’t the right fit” for their family. Dorit said Lucy bit the kids a few times and “took a chunk out of PK’s face.” (I mean, based on the picture, that’s kind of dramatic.) Dorit apparently gave Lucy away, and then she got a call from Lisa saying Lucy ended up in a shelter. Dorit tells Erika she believed Lucy was going to a good home.

Back over at Vanderpump Dogs, everyone’s acting so odd and there’s a visible tension in the air. I’m wondering why anyone brought up the Lucy situation at all if no ones allowed to talk about it. Lisa is acting strangely, and she looks at Kyle and says, “Don’t look at me like that.” “I’m not looking at you like anything,” Kyle retorts. Teddi steps in, and she tells LVP that she feels like Dorit should’ve handled the situation differently, because Lisa is a good person and is understanding. Lisa replies, “In her mind, she thought she was going to a good home.” One of the John’s chimes in again, and he’s pissed. The entire Lucy ordeal has been a shit show, and makes Vanderpump Dogs look bad. Lisa still stands by her belief that Dorit did not just drop the dog off at a shelter. We then learn that Teddi already knew about this, but was sworn to secrecy by John Blizzard – apparently they’ve done charity events together and have become friendly.

The Lucy story has dropped, and LVP brings up the party they had for the opening of TomTom, and apologizes to Teddi that she didn’t get to talk to her that much. She looks to Kyle and says, “She came to my restaurant, I wish that you had come.” Kyle asks which restaurant, to which LVP replies, “The new one that I’m opening that you have never seen.” They show us a clip of the party at TomTom three weeks earlier. “I wanted you to come that night.” Lisa tells Kyle. This sets Kyle off. “Lisa, you are so full of shit right now, I am not going to do this. I’m not going to do this. I landed from a plane, it was four in the morning, and you said it’s not my party, I didn’t even invite anyone.” Apparently the party was hosted by The Daily Mail, not Lisa. Lisa starts to reply, but Kyle cuts her off. “You can be a bitch to me, but Dorit can drop off a dog and you’re like, she didn’t mean it.” Kyle angrily storms out of the room and goes to the front of the shop. During her confessional, Kyle tells us that she feels like LVP does things to make her look bad. Honestly, I kind of agree.

LVP isn’t done. “I’ve been working on that restaurant for over a year and you still haven’t seen it.” Kyle is so frustrated, she yells, “It wasn’t done yet!” Kyle storms away from her again, and Teddi tries to go after her but LVP stops her. Teddi tells LVP that she knows she messes with Kyle, but Kyle takes it seriously. Lisa gets super emotional, apologizes and hugs Kyle, and breaks down in tears. Kyle easily forgives her; clearly LVP is going through a very difficult time. I agree with Teddi – she thinks Lisa takes a lot of her frustrations out on Kyle. I definitely see that. However, both parties are not happy in their friendship at the moment. Kyle feels like Lisa expects too much from her, and I think Lisa expects more from Kyle. They’re totally not on the same page.

Rinna’s having the girls over – we meet Denise Richards, our new cast member, and we learn that Rinna & Denise have known each other basically forever. Erika and Dorit also come over, and meet Denise for the first time.

At Crustacean, LVP & Ken are dining with Dorit & PK. Lisa wants to clear the air about the Lucy situation. She starts by saying she knows that they didn’t have any ill intent, which annoys PK. He feels like it should just be a given that they didn’t have bad intentions with Lucy.

Dorit brings up the fact that she told Lisa about the lady she had given Lucy to the next day, and PK chimes in that it’s a mistake that could’ve happened to anyone. LVP is quick to retort that it’s actually not. I see Lisa’s point of view – they screen all of the homes that their dogs go to. I honestly don’t understand why they wouldn’t have just given Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs? Wouldn’t that have made the most sense? Lisa also tells Dorit that Teddi knows about it, because John Blizzard told her. Dorit now thinks Teddi is going around talking about it, which is so far from the truth. (I was yelling “Shut up, Dorit!” at my TV screen during this scene. Dorit can be infuriating.)

It’s the day of Kyle’s Pool Party! All of the ladies are here, including Camille, who I am so excited to see. Everyone is chatting and mingling and having a good time. Teddi’s son, Cruz, and Dorit’s son, Jagger, are becoming fast BFFs. It’s funny because their moms pretty much hate each other. (To be fair, Dorit is so over the top dramatic. Also – wtf is with that visor?)

Nothing crazy happens at the pool party. Kyle tells us she feels uncomfortable knowing about the Dorit situation, and she’s not going to bring it up. Teddi isn’t bringing it up either.

Rinna tries to ask LVP how she is, but LVP shuts her down real quick. In typical Rinna fashion, she’s not offended.

We end with the Pool Party wrapping up, and the ladies are all saying farewell to Kyle.

As far as first episodes go, I would say that this was a pretty good one. They’re typically boring, because we have to get caught up on what we’ve been missing, but while we did manage to do that, there was still an element of drama in their that has you wanting more.

I’m super excited for this season. What’d you guys think?

Until next week….