RHOBH: SUN & SHADE IN THE BAHAMAS

We’re in The Bahamas, at Baha Mar. What a gorgeous resort. The girls are all heading to their rooms, and they plan on meeting at Dorit’s suite later that night to have drinks on her balcony.

LVP is rooming with Dorit after all. They’re out on the balcony talking to each other, when Dorit asks, “Are you happy to be good friends with me?” Lisa loves to tease Dorit, and responds, “Yes, because right now I’m reaping the benefits.” Dorit doesn’t find this funny. She’s paranoid that LVP is holding a grudge about Puppy Gate (that’s what I’m calling this from now on) and I can’t say her paranoia is misplaced.

Teddi & Kyle are chatting in their room that they’re sharing. Teddi shares with Kyle that she’s getting along with Dorit better. Jagger & Cruise (Teddi & Dorit’s children) have bonded, and they’ve both set their own differences aside for their kids.

Back over on Dorit’s balcony, she tells us & Lisa that she’s so glad Lisa came on the trip, and she’s happy that they can connect. I do believe Dorit does feel terrible about Puppy Gate, and she just wants things to go back to normal with LVP.

Switching back over to Teddi & Kyle – they discuss the jabs LVP was throwing towards Dorit on the PJ, and how they believe Dorit’s feelings were hurt. Neither of them believe LVP is over Puppy Gate.

The Girls are all getting ready for drinks, and Rinna is the first to arrive at Dorit & LVP’s suite.

Can I just say I fucking love Denise? These bitches faces when she walks in her white tank & white shorts – so snobby! Except for Camille, who is such a sweetheart. (“I love your shorts!”) I’m LOLing when Denise tells us, “I packed the wrong shit, I learned that quickly.” I totally get where she’s coming from – you’re having drinks on a balcony with the girls. I would’ve worn cute pajamas, but that’s just me. πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

Kyle & LVP are talking off to the side, and LVP is emotional when she tells Kyle that she should make up with her sisters. We learn that Kyle & Kim are okay, but Kyle & Kathy are not. Rinna joins them, and LVP tells them both that Elvis, her butler, is going to bring his cat to her room. Kyle comments and says, “Maybe that’s why Dorit had an allergic reaction, is she allergic to cats?” (Side note: earlier in the episode, Dorit apparently had an allergic reaction to something, we don’t know what. She took Benadryl & was fine.) Lisa Vanderpump says, “I don’t know, we should find out.” Then fucking Kyle blurts out, “Maybe she’s allergic to dogs.” I literally yelled ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KYLE at the tv screen at this point. Cause that wasn’t premeditated at all! (Insert eye roll.) Rinna comments how it just got really quiet, and wants to know what’s going on. LVP is keeping quiet, but Kyle can’t let it go. “Are you still mad at her?” Kyle asks LVP, referring to Dorit. Rinna is completely in the dark, or at least she’s pretending to be. They end the conversation and join the other girls.

Kyle – WTF is your end game here?

The next morning, Kyle & Teddi are in their room and they’re talking about the night before. Kyle tells Teddi that “Dorit’s dog came up” and it’s like, yes, Lucy did come up – because of you. Rinna joins them, and then they both fill her in on the entire Puppy Gate scandal.

I honestly do get what Rinna was saying – I do believe LVP was trying to set up Teddi &/or Kyle. I think she’s still pissed at Dorit, and wanted a way to get this out there without having to dirty her own hands. The entire situation at Vanderpump Dogs the day Teddi & Kyle visited was bizarre. If LVP didn’t want it talked about, I guarantee you it wouldn’t have been brought up. I actually think LVP had John Blizzard tell Teddi via text, knowing she could use it against her later. However, I don’t think Kyle is innocent in all of this – she was intent on talking about it.

The girls boat off to some private island, and they’re all having a blast. LVP & Denise are getting massages and bonding over the fact that they both adopted children, which was a heartwarming moment. The rest of the girls are swimming and drinking and just having a good time.

Rinna really came to play this season. The girls all sit down for lunch, and Rinna tells the group that Dorit brought them all on the trip to address anything that needs to be addressed. (Stir that pot Lisa.) She wants the girls to go around the table and say who has an issue about what, etc. (Lmao, only Rinna.) She tells us, “It opens up conversations.” To which Camille replies, “Or it could open up Pandora’s Box.” Camille still goes along with it though, and she brings up the fact that she had issues with Dorit last year (does “Camille you’re a stupid cunt” ring a bell?) but she’s moved past that and she’s enjoying her time and thanks Dorit for inviting her.

Dorit brings up the issues she’s had with Teddi, and how they’re both working on moving past it and how their sons became fast friends.

Erika has nothing to say, she’s good, and then it’s over to LVP. She tells us it’s just nice to be amongst friends….but-”

If she’s being absolutely honest, she has to address the fact that Erika didn’t call her when her brother passed, she sent a sympathy card/note. This is beyond ridiculous. Erika & LVP are NOT friends. They work together and film a TV show together, and have the same group of friends. Erika was not obligated to call Lisa. A sympathy card 100% suffices. Erika is pissed at being called out, and rightfully so. She pretty much tells LVP off, and tells her to not try to make her out to be the bad guy. Lisa gets emotional, and she tells Erika she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. They do make up, and the awkwardness disappears.

Later that night, the girls are getting ready to go to dinner. Rinna stops by Erika’s room, and they talk about what went down at lunch. Erika says she doesn’t understand what happened at the table today, and Rinna agrees. Erika pulls out her phone and shows Rinna a picture of the card she gave to LVP. “Bitch, you come with receipts!” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The girls are at dinner at Cleo’s, and they’re all chatting and enjoying each other. (We learn that Teddi was going to be named BabyDoll LMAO, & Kyle was supposed to be a boy, so she was named after a football player.) Rinna & Dorit get up to go to the bathroom, and Kyle takes this opportunity to confront LVP.

“I’m feeling really weird about all the side convos right now about the dog.”

Erika chimes in and immediately is like, “I don’t want to know this.” Teddi says that she & Kyle didn’t want to know it either. Teddi then asks LVP if Dorit knows that they know about the situation, and LVP tells her that Dorit knows that she knows, not Kyle. Teddi looks anxious & exasperated.

Rinna & Dorit are back from the bathroom, but the conversation doesn’t stop. Teddi says that she felt anxious, because she felt like she wasn’t truthful to Dorit.

Dorit clams up and says she doesn’t want to go to a bad place.

Teddi tells her side of the story – which is the truth. Everything she says is accurate – Teddi & Kyle were at Vanderpump Dogs, and John Blizzard and John Sessa brought out Lucy.

Dorit looks absolutely horrified. Rinna tells LVP that she should’ve shut it down, and LVP shoots back, “I have 400 employees, I can’t control what they all say and do.” (Bullshit.) In LVPs confessional, she tells us that the situation wouldn’t have happened at all if Dorit handled it properly. I agree with that 100%, however, I don’t believe LVP is as innocent as she’s pretending to be.

Dorit begins to re-explain herself, and at the end of table, Denise looks confused. “I don’t even know what these bitches are fighting about.” Lmao.

The girls are all arguing their own points, and then Rinna jumps in. She turns to LVP and says, “This wouldn’t get out there if you didn’t want it to. It’s a set up.”

I can’t say I disagree with Rinna on that. LVP tells Dorit that she doesn’t believe for a second she had any ill intent, however, the dog should’ve been returned to her from the get go. LVP is not wrong.

Dorit becomes upset, and Teddi, Kyle & Rinna comfort her, while LVP asks, “Why is Dorit upset?”

LVP also says that she had no idea Teddi would be gossiping about it, which is complete bullshit. Teddi’s had enough and she storms off, leaving us with a cliff hanger.

Honestly, I’m over talking about Puppy Gate and it’s only the 3rd episode. Do I think LVP is mad at Dorit and wants to punish her? Yes. Do I think LVP tried to use Teddi and Kyle as scapegoats? Yes. Do I think Kyle wanted to get this out in the open for whatever reason during this trip? Yes. Do I think Dorit was wrong for not just giving Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs to begin with? Yes.

However, this entire situation is so overly dramatic. I understand that Lisa is grieving, but this could’ve been shut down a long time ago. If LVP was mad at Dorit, which she clearly is, then just fucking own it! She would have every right to be mad at her. What Dorit did was wrong. Good intentions or not, Lucy still ended up at a shelter. But LVP insisted she wasn’t mad at Dorit, so in that case, stop talking about it.

What a shit show.

Next week, we see Ken has printed out texts between Teddi & John Blizzard (I think), and I’m just like shaking my head. Ken is such a chick, please give me a break.

God, this episode was utterly exhausting. My highlight was living vicariously through Erika Jayne and her 70 inch pony tail and fabulous Glam Squad.

Until next week…..

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