RHONY: IT’S A CLAM SHAME

March 23, 2019March 23, 2019Leave a comment

We pick back up at Barbara’s Clambake, where Lu is shocked to see Ramona stroll out behind Sonja. “I was not expecting Ramona,” Barbara tells the girls. Bethenny tells us Ramona will probably put clams in her purse for later – LMAO, she’s actually not that far off.

Ramona can seriously be so awful, but it’s almost funny because I truly think she lacks the self awareness of just how cruel can she be. She tells us that she met Barbara around ten years ago, but she’s “not really my kind of girl” – she’s not a girl’s girl, she’s masculine. LMAO, like that’s so rude. I can’t.

The Clambake is the first time Tinsley has seen Bethenny since Dennis passed, and she gives her condolences to her. Bethenny is wearing an engagement ring – we learn that Dennis had proposed to B, and although she didn’t actually say yes, she didn’t say no, either. She tells us that her engagement with Dennis was “on ice.” She’s been wearing the ring because she feels like Dennis would want her to. I think she should wear it if it makes her feel happy. She probably feels closer to Dennis wearing it.

Once Ramona approaches, Lu immediately comes for her. “Ramona, let’s cut to the chase.” I feel like in Ramona’s mind, she was probably like, “OMG, it’s only been ten minutes, we can’t do this until the 30 minute mark!” LMAO. “Another time,” Ramona replies, and casually strolls away.

Ramona quickly moves away, and begins chatting with Barbara and Sonja. “Look at her reporting to Barbara,” Lu snickers. Ramona is pleading her case to Barbara, and basically sticking up for Ramona, but this is all a little bit too much. Ramona’s kind of playing it like she’s a saint, and Barbara isn’t here for that. “You spread lies about her.”

“What lies?” Ramona asks innocently. Barbara tells her, “You said she got kicked out of Chris Birch’s party, and that wasn’t true, I was with her.” Ramona goes on to say something went down at some hotel after, but I don’t really know, nor do I care. This is stupid.

Sonja asks Ramona if she’s given her condolences to Bethenny about Dennis, and she says yes. Sonja’s like, “You did?” And Ramona says, “Through text, yeah.” “No, I mean today, in person,” Sonja replies. Ramona refuses to say anything to Bethenny in person today, because in Bethenny’s eyes Ramona is always doing something wrong.

Back over with Bethenny, Lu, and Tinsley, B is filling us in on a guy she is going to go out on a date with. It’s just dinner, and she feels like it’s kind of soon, but I understand her wanting to be preoccupied and keeping her mind busy.

Ramona and Sonja join them, and they’re saying their goodbyes. “You just got here,” Bethenny says. They tell the girls that they feel bad for Dorinda, so they’re going home early. Barbara told them to take some food back for Dorinda, and I’m dying because Sonja and Ramona are literally filling up bags worth of lobster. Tinsley is mortified. Lu is being such a bitch though, and saying that no one can take the lobster. This is not your clambake, Luann. Quiet down.

Once the girls have gone, Bethenny mocks Ramona and her “Crazy Eyes.” “Who leaves someone’s house with multiple lobsters?” LMAO, I mean, she has a point. So tacky.

The Brunette’s enjoy the rest of the clambake. Lu, Bethenny and Barbara all end up in the pool, and they’re having fun.

Back at Ramona’s, Dorinda is surprised at how early the girls are home. (LMAO, I am Dorinda. “I thought I’d watch some Law & Order.”) They rehash the clambake. Luann has been insinuating that Dorinda has a problem and needs rehab. I was glad that Tinsley noticed that Lu was definitely the aggressor in this situation.

“Dorinda, she’s still hurt!” Sonja cries. “I’m still hurt!” Dorinda exclaims in return. They’re all talking over each other, and somehow Bethenny and Dennis get brought up – something about Dennis helping someone with money, and how he’s smart.

OMG, Ramona can literally be so crude and disgusting. I am appalled at what comes out of her mouth. “How smart can Dennis be? I mean, he was on drugs.”

I think all of us are Sonja in that moment. I honestly don’t even want to talk about this, because I have zero tolerance for anyone who talks poorly about someone who has a drug problem. That was a truly repulsive thing for Ramona to say, and I’m not even going there. Tinsley shuts it down real fast, and Sonja is pissed.

Back in the city, Bethenny is on her way to the Carolina’s because they were hit by a hurricane. I love Bethenny’s desire to help people, it’s truly admirable. She uses her platform for good, and it’s such a nice thing to see. I loved watching her interact with the people at the shelter – these people are struggling so much, and they’re beyond grateful for the help Bethenny is providing.

Dorinda meets Barbara at Sarabeth’s for lunch. Dorinda had reached out to Barbara, because she wanted her to hear her side of the story, not just Lu’s. Dorinda wants to see Lu without outside forces around. I agree, I think that’s probably the best way for them to resolve their issues.

Sonja’s photos from her Paper Magazine party are literally giving me life. She’s killing it. I agree with Bethenny – “She looks like a Tom Ford ad.”

They girls all look so gorgeous, but I’m obsessed with Sonja and Dorinda in their leopard print. “Leopard makes you feel powerful.” PREACH Dorinda!

Everyone is here, and I’m LOLing that Sonja invited her psychic. Tinsley brought Dale, her mom, with her, and we seriously need a spinoff with like, Dale, Mama Dee, Patricia from Southern Charm…OMG that would be epic. Anyway.

Bethenny and Dorinda are having a nice, genuine conversation. John is coming, Dorinda’s boyfriend, and Dorinda’s happy with him. “You have to remember, we don’t live together,” Dorinda reminds Bethenny. LOL. Dorinda goes on to say that what she has with John is a different kind of love than she had with Richard (her husband, who passed away in 2011). She feels like Bethenny had that type of love with Dennis, too, and you don’t just get that again. Bethenny fills Dorinda in on the engagement ring – and we learn that Dennis gave Brynn a ring, too, which I thought was beyond sweet. Both of the ladies are emotional.

John arrives, as does Luann and Barbara. Dorinda tells Bethenny she plans on confronting Luann tonight, and Barbara immediately wants to put her two cents in. Dorinda tells her to butt out basically, and Barbara is offended. She practically runs back to Lu to tell her what Dorinda is saying.

Bethenny calls Lu over, and Dorinda is freaking out. They both approach each other – and then we’re hit with a TO BE CONTINUED.

Thoughts?

Until next week…

RHONY: THINGS ARE GOING SOUTHAMPTON

March 23, 2019March 23, 2019Leave a comment

Season 11 Taglines are here! I have to start with those before we even get into anything else.

Lu – I plead guilty to being fabulous.

Ramona – The only thing I’ll ever settle for is more.

Sonja – People call me over the top, but lately I prefer being a bottom. (You guys, I am literally dead at this one. DEAD.)

Tinsley – Game, set, now I need a match. (Thanks for reminding us you’re not with Scott in real time anymore, Tins!!)

Bethenny – When life gives me limes, I make margaritas.

Dorinda – If you’ve got a problem with me, that’s your problem. (LMAO.)

Leave me a comment and let me know which one is your fav!

We’re at Ramona’s in Southampton, and Tinsley and Sonja just arrived. I’m literally LOLing when Sonja gets out of the car; “Tinsley’s a great driver! She’s gonna be a great mother, who knew!” The blondes are all together, and Dorinda has brought mermaid outfits. I am dying at this. Dorin has made a promise to herself to that she wants to do more fun, lighthearted stuff. LMAO.

We’re still at Bethenny’s with Lu & Barb. They’re talking about relationships.

Over at Ramona’s, we learn that Ramona had reached out and invited Lu and Bethenny to have dinner with her & the girls, but she’s not surprised that she never heard back from Bethenny. Ramona always has to go low, though. She tells us in her confessional, “It’s okay, Bethenny doesn’t get close to anyone. Who is she close to? Right now it’s Lu by default.” Oh, Ramona…

Lu calls Sonja, and Sonja answers, while Ramona listens in on their convo. “I’m surprised you’re not staying with me,” Lu says. “You’re staying with Ro-MEANa.” (Eye roll, grow up, Lu.) Sonja says how she switches off who she stays with during the Summer, and LMAO, it sounds like she has divorced parents fighting over her. “You’re a traitor,” Lu says teasingly. Lu is planning her own dinner, and I love how Sonja literally just flip flops and agrees to go with Lu, Bethenny and Barb, instead of Ramona, Tinsley and Dorinda. Barbara mentions her clambake, and Sonja tells the girls, “Barbara’s inviting all of us to her clambake tomorrow.” LMAO, no she did not. These women literally kill me.

The Blondes seriously have a mermaid photoshoot and I am dying. Especially at how long it took Ramona to get down the stairs, LMAO.

Sonja gets dropped off at The Almond Bar to meet the brunettes, and the three other blondes are basically across the street from them, having their own dinner. The blondes are at Topping Rose House, and as soon as they sit down at the table, Ramona gets up and is like, “I’ve been with you girls all day, I’m going to go to the bar for ten minutes.” LMAO. (I seriously laughed out loud at so many parts during this episode. Ramona is such a trip.)

Sonja and Barbara are the first to arrive, and they’re chatting and catching up. Sonja tells Barbara that Dorinda isn’t drinking, and that Lu and Dorinda are both taking care of themselves. “They’re both going to be at your party tomorrow,” Sonja says. Barbara pauses for a moment and then replies, “We need to talk about that. Lu’s in vulnerable state and doesn’t want to be around Dorinda. Can you just bring Tinsley?” (Really, Barbara? For starters, you literally already invited Dorinda – you told us you had an actual friendship with her. That’s so tacky. If you want to uninvite her, do it yourself.) Sonja looks perplexed and asks, “What am I supposed to tell my hostess? She’s excited to come.”

Luann, Bethenny, and Lu’s friend Anne arrive.

Switching back over to The Blondes, Dorinda and Tinsley are chatting, and they both feel weird knowing that the other girls are eating right across the street. “It’s like dueling dinners,” Dorinda says. Ramona returns, and she tells the girls how she was chatting with some guys at the bar and asked if they were married – and they were married, to each other. She thinks her gaydar is off.

The Brunette’s are talking about Lu’s recovery. Prior to her second rehab stay, Lu had been making really bad financial decisions. She was obsessed with this mansion, and was calling everyone she knew for $6 million dollars so she could buy it. (WHAT?) Bethenny tells us, “It was a fixation.” Luann is grateful for the support of her friends and their intervention. She admits that, “Alcohol is a power greater than me.” They talk about the clambake that’s going to take place the next day, and Lu wants Dorinda to call her and to be genuine, and then she’ll be okay with her going to the clambake. (This is so childish.)

The next morning, Ramona has a tennis instructor come over to the house. Tinsley, Ramona and the instructor are all playing – and the instructor, who Ramona loves to flirt with, is clearly into Tinsley. Ramona isn’t having it. She legit stops playing, and is like, “Well, I already worked out today, and I haven’t played tennis that much because it’s been rainy.” She’s so over the top.

Meanwhile, Bethenny is meeting Barbara. We’re at her investment property, and she’s contemplating selling it. Barbara is into contracting, so she wants her opinion on it. (That house was absolutely gorgeous.)

The Blondes are all chatting – they ask Sonja about her dinner with The Brunette’s the night before. “It was a lot about Lu and her recovery, she went back to rehab.” Ramona, who can never bite her tongue, says, “How do you go to rehab for 13 days? That’s like a vacation.” Dorinda wants to know when she actually went to rehab, and Sonja just wants to shut this down. “The mood of the dinner was not dissecting Lu and her recovery, but supporting her.” Dorinda feels like if any trigger is going to cause Lu to fall off the wagon, she probably shouldn’t be doing cabarets late night around booze. She thinks she probably needs a longer stay at rehab. (I totally don’t think that’s a fair thing for Dorinda to say – she hasn’t even been on speaking terms with Lu, so since she doesn’t know first hand, I don’t think she has a right to comment on her sobriety.)

Sonja drops the bomb – only she and Tinsley are invited to the clambake. Dorinda is pissed, and understandably so. She’s like, “I’ve already been told about the clambake. Should I call her and say I’m disinvited?”

Sonja tells her that The Brunette’s all think it’s a good idea for Dorinda to give Lu a call. Dorinda immediately is like, “No.” Sonja tells her that Barbara just wants to make sure Luann is comfortable, and Dorinda replies, ” I don’t have to make Lu anything. That’s not my responsibility.” Tinsley seems to be siding with Dorinda right now – she feels like Lu almost wants to make this worse.

Bethenny and Barbara are at Bethenny’s when Barbara gets a call from Dorinda. “What’s going on?” Dorinda asks. “I’m disinvited to the clambake?” Barbara replies, “You’re not disinvited at all.” (That’s a lie.)

Dorinda is livid at this point. “So you’re saying you want me to call Lu? I’m not doing it.” Barbara tries to talk, but Dorinda will not let her get a word in. At this point, I don’t even know what anyone is saying. Ramona is like a bug in Dorinda’s ear, and I think she’s making the situation worse.

Bethenny is shocked by the entire conversation. Dorinda tells Barbara that she wants Luann to call her, LMAO. I’ll admit, Dorinda is definitely being petty. But this whole situation is petty at this point; lets move on! Bethenny tells Barbara, “It’s like you’re talking to a wall.”

Dorinda uninvites herself, and tells Barbara she’ll see her back in the city. All of the girls are like, “Don’t end the call like that!” but Dorinda is way too riled up. She tells us that she’s not going to bend the knee to Luann.

Barbara calls Lu, and fills her in on what happened. Lu says she isn’t surprised at all, she had a feeling that Dorinda would respond that way. “Not only is she not going to apologize, but I don’t think she would piss on you if you were on fire,” Bethenny tells her. LMAO. Barbara is blown away by the call, and Lu says that she thinks Dorinda is still drinking. Barbara doesn’t think so, especially because Sonja told them that she wasn’t.

The girls are all getting ready for the clambake, except for Dorinda, who really isn’t going. I’m shocked that Ramona is planning on going, but that’s Ramona for you. Dorinda and Ramona are sitting outside, and Dorinda asks for Ramona’s opinion on a text she plans on sending Lu. (Dorin – please get anyone else’s opinion besides Ramona’s!!!!) Ramona tells her she thinks it’s totally fine to send it to her, and I’m like, Oh God. I can only imagine what that text says.

Barbara and Luann are picking up the food for the clambake when Lu receives the text from Dorinda. OMFG – she sent her a Tyler Perry quote. I don’t remember the entire quote, it’s something about forgiveness though. LMAO. “I’m not even going to respond,” Lu says. Then she says, “Or maybe I’ll say,’Wow, that’s so deep’.” “No,” Barbara tells her, “That’s antagonistic.”

It’s the day of Barbara’s Clambake, and Lu shares the text she got from Dorinda with Bethenny. Bethenny is basically on the same wavelength as everyone else – “She sent you a Tyler Perry quote?” Bethenny adds, “Now she’s Ramona crazy!”

The Blondes feel bad leaving Dorinda behind, but Dorinda honestly doesn’t mind, she likes her alone time. Sonja mentions Dorinda has FOMO – but she calls it MOFO, LMAO. On the ride to Barbara’s, Ramona tells Tinsley to tap her on the shoulder after 30 minutes, because she feels like that’s an appropriate time length to be at the party and then confront Luann about Dorinda. (DEAD LMAO.) She then tells her to tap her on the shoulder after one hour, because they promised Dorinda they’d only go for an hour.

The Four Blondes arrive, and Sonja is the first to enter the backyard. Lu notices, and her entire face drops when she sees Ramona in tow.

Not a crazy entertaining episode, but I was entertained nonetheless. I don’t know where I stand on this Lu & Dorinda fight. I think that they’re both being stubborn and need to just make up with each other. (I also haven’t seen the episode where Dorinda was apparently a monster to Lu, though.) But Luann is really holding a grudge here, and part of the 12 steps is to kind of put the past in the past, move on, not hang onto any resentment. I’m not saying she isn’t valid in feeling the way she feels, and I probably shouldn’t say anything at all because I’m not an addict and I don’t understand what she’s been through or how she feels. But I don’t think it’s healthy for either of them to hold onto this negativity. Even if they’re not friends again (which I seriously hope they do become friends again) they can just be cordial and coexist. I hate this pettiness.

Until next week….

RHOBH: FIFTY SHADES OF SHADE

March 21, 2019March 23, 2019Leave a comment

What an episode! I’m so sick of Puppy Gate, but clearly, this is moving way beyond just an issue with Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy. Shit’s going down.

We start out with Kyle, who is at The Agency, visiting Mauricio. (I’m obsessed with Kyle’s jacket. Obsessed.) Kyle is feeling better now that Sophia is officially at school. She shares with Mauricio that she’s worried that American Women (her TV Show, the one that has caused friction with her sisters) is not going to be picked up for a second season, but she’s trying to stay positive.

Say whatever you want about Dorit – she’s literally slaying. Her body is giving me life. She is beyond gorgeous – #GOALS. JMG Magazine is shooting Dorit and Barbie Blank (why do I know her?) modeling Dorit’s swimwear line, Beverly Beach. And they’re going to be on the cover.

Dorit’s invited Erika to the shoot, because she feels like “if you want to push the boundaries”, Erika Jayne is the best one to get advice from. I’m LOLing at Erika giving her two cents; “Guts in, tits up!” “You’re selling ass, not cookies!” LMAO.

Denise is over at LVP’s, and she brought her daughters, Lola & Eloise. Denise states that she knows all of the other ladies have an issue with LVP, but LVP has been nothing but “warm, compassionate and lovely” to her. She wants to make her own judgment. That’s totally fair.

Back at Dorit’s, once the shoot wraps up, Erika and Dorit are chatting. Dorit fills Erika in on the conversation she had the day prior at LVP’s with Kyle – and all of the texts LVP shared. Erika is surprised by this information, because this is different than what she has heard from Teddi. Dorit tells Erika she still feels the same way – like LVP isn’t going to take ownership, and she doesn’t think this is all Teddi, though she realizes now that Teddi is not as innocent as she originally portrayed herself to be. They both muse about what LVP’s endgame is – to make Dorit look bad? It sure seems so. Erika tells Dorit, “Don’t trust anyone.”

Rinna is visiting Camille – she’s checking out the restaurant/venue she plans on having her 50th Birthday Bash at. Rinna brings up the Bahamas and LVP, and Camille says, “We’ve all experienced the wrath of LVP.” I am literally dead at this clip of Camille calling out LVP for telling Camille to bring up Taylor and Russell (Season 2, which I just watched!) Camille admits that Lisa did tell her to bring it up, and that Lisa has “a habit of keeping her hands clean.” I mean, isn’t that obvious by now? Everyone who is so Pro-LVP – she literally does this every single season. It’s a pattern. Camille also feels bad for LVP though – she’s going through a lot, and she’s having a tough time. Honestly, I really love Camille. I think she knows how LVP is, but she doesn’t care. It’s kind of like – it is what it is. Lisa’s always been this way, she’s not going to change now. Camille does bring up Dorit, though, and says that she is kind of phony. Lisa Rinna thinks Camille is being “wishy-washy” because they got along just fine in the Bahamas. “Did she really want a dog?” Camille asks. “Or did she just want to be closer to Vanderpump.” Rinna looks shocked, and Camille adds, “I know, I’m being catty.”

Denise and Aaron are discussing their upcoming wedding – they seriously do plan on getting married on 9/8/18, and they cheers to “trying to put together a wedding in a week.” They found a place in Malibu where they want to have it at, and it looked gorgeous. I’m so weirdly attracted to Aaron right now, LMAO. I love how spontaneous these two are.

Teddi is meeting with her therapist, Val. She tells Val that she’s, “a mess today”, and she fills her in on what’s been going on. She admits that she has anxiety because of it, and I think it’s written all over Teddi’s face that she got in way over her head. She owns it all – she was in on the scheme, but she couldn’t go through with it. She also shares with us that she was originally told a story about Lucy that wasn’t true. Teddi believed Lucy had been locked in Dorit’s basement, and hadn’t seen the light of day for months, and then had been taken to a kill shelter. (WTF?)

Honestly, I’m totally Team Teddi. Trying to take someone down isn’t the right thing to do, but she’s owning it now, and she’s sorry for it. She also didn’t even go through with it. This is LVP’s M.O. – she uses whoever the newest/weakest person is to do her dirty work. Seriously, please look back at prior seasons. She’s close with Camille while Camille is going through a horrible divorce, and has Camille confront Taylor about the Russell situation, while she sits back and watches. She was super close to Brandi, and screwed her over with the tabloid thing with Kyle and Mauricio (Mauricio was supposedly cheating.) She became good friends with Lisa Rinna, only to put a bug in her ear that Yolanda Hadid had Munchausen Syndrome, and then pinned it all on Lisa. And now she’s doing it to Teddi, so she can get back at Dorit. Erika Jayne called it from the moment she met LVP – “Lisa Vanderpump is a sniper from the side.”

I like that Teddi’s therapist, Val, tells her, “It’s okay that a loose end isn’t going to be tied up.” I feel like I needed to hear that advice.

Over at Hart & The Hunter, Kyle and LVP are meeting up with Denise and Aaron for dinner. We learn that American Women was not picked up for a second season, and although Kyle’s disappointed, she’s hoping she’ll be able to reconnect with her sisters. Denise is being super silly during dinner, and she just keeps talking about how big Aaron’s penis is. LMAO. Denise fills them in on their plans for the wedding – Kyle can’t go, because she has a party at The Agency that night. But all of the other girls plan on attending.

It’s Camille’s birthday! Her party is in full swing, and everyone looks fabulous. I will say, though I usually love Rinna, she’s annoying me with her side comments on Camille and Dorit’s relationship. She tells us in her confessional, “Flip-floppers are confusing.” Like cut it out, Rinna.

Teddi, Erika and Dorit are talking, and things are clearly awkward. “Tell her,” Erika urges Dorit. Dorit, who also looks nervous, replies, “Now?” Teddi is anxious, and asks, “Tell me what? Just tell me now.” Dorit calls Teddi out – she goes over everything she learned at Vanderpump’s. The three of them go out onto the patio to talk more.

Erika tells Teddi, “It sounded shady.” Teddi explains the entire story, including her part in it. Erika sees Kyle and LVP heading into the party, and says, “Guys, here she comes.” Teddi and Dorit continue to talk, despite knowing LVP is close by. “I was set up,” Teddi confesses. “I took the bait, but I couldn’t go through with it.”

Kyle knows something is going on, but she’s not getting into it right now. “There’s something going down, but I’m just going to mosey on by.”

Teddi apologizes to Dorit – she truly is sorry. She felt like LVP was there for her the year before, when she was struggling to fit in with the girls. Erika chimes in, and says, “She feels used. She’s accepting responsibility.” Dorit respects this. She wants to move on, and she appreciates Teddi’s apology. Now she wants LVP to own it.

Rinna & Kyle join the girls, and Teddi fills them in on what’s going on. Denise joins the group, because she wants the girls to come back inside. LVP is soon outside as well.

“We’re talking about the other day,” Kyle tells LVP.

“I want to move on from it,” LVP informs the group. “It’s all clear to me.”

“What’s clear to you?” Teddi is livid.

“You’re guilty by omission,” LVP says, as if she honestly doesn’t have anything to do with this debacle. “I saw the texts, I was shocked.”

I’m literally screaming at my TV at this point – are you fucking kidding me? GTFO. I cannot. Teddi questions Lisa – how did she know that she knew? Lisa backtracks at this and contradicts herself. She says she didn’t know that Teddi knew – but then she says of course she knew Teddi knew. Which one is it?

Kyle tells us in her confessional, “It’s very clear to me Lisa Vanderpump wanted Teddi to know about the dog.” Rinna tells us, “All roads lead back to LVP.” Sorry LVP, everyone seems to be onto you.

Teddi takes complete ownership. She tells LVP that she knows she will never own it, but at the end of the day, Teddi told the truth, and if LVP can live with herself, then that’s fine – “it’s been working for you for a long time,” she adds. (Everyone is so shocked right now. Yaaassss Teddi!)

LVP has the audacity to ask, “You don’t feel any guilt or remorse?” “Not to you,” Teddi snaps. “I feel betrayed by you.” “I feel betrayed by you,” LVP retorts. “Oh, cause I couldn’t carry out your plan? Sorry.” Teddi is done.

Dorit tells us, “The truth will always set you free.”

Back inside, the girls all sing Happy Birthday to Camille, and it’s as if the past twenty minutes never occurred, LOL. (Only in Beverly Hills.) The girls seem to enjoy the rest of the night – Kyle’s wasted, and Rinna’s encouraging her to do splits. LMAO. Typical.

The night is coming to an end……and so are some friendships.

What’d you guys think? Until next week…..

RHONY: DIVIDED, THEY SUMMER

March 18, 2019March 23, 2019Leave a comment

New York is back!!! This season honestly looks insane, even though based on the previews, I have no idea what’s happening or why. All I do know is, is that it looks totally crazy.

Before I get started, I need to give you all a heads up – I didn’t watch the whole season religiously last year. I saw bits and pieces, so to be honest, this whole Lu/Dorinda fight is kind of confusing to me. They can’t only be arguing because of Jovani, right? I’m guessing I missed something bigger…..but let’s begin.

We start off with a “Six Months Ago….”

And we’re back at Lu’s Cabaret show, before shit hit the fan.

(I know a lot of people thought Dorinda was a lot during this scene…I personally found it funny. But I also love Dorinda, she’s my fav RHONY housewife, so I tend to side with her.)

We also find out that Luann was sued by her children and ex-husband, and she checked herself back into rehab.

We quickly move over to Bethenny, and receive more bad news.

Bethenny’s boyfriend, Dennis Shields, was found dead. We see old clips of Bethenny talking about him, and she expresses that she loves him.

Jesus, ya’ll, this is already really heavy, and it’s the first two minutes.

Let’s switch to present day. We watch the girls all running around NYC. Tinsley is on the phone, and Scott had his car shipped from Chicago to NYC for her. Sonja’s out for a walk with her dog. Lu is on the phone with her daughter, Victoria, and she’s talking about her upcoming Cabaret Show – she added Girl Code to the list, and she wants to know if Victoria will come up on stage and sing it with her?

Bethenny is doing a photo shoot for her jeans, and she excuses herself and heads to the restroom, where we can hear her crying.

Ramona’s meeting with Real Estate Agents, and plans on selling soon.

Dorinda is meeting up with her friend, Luke, and they’re exercising together. We learn that Dorinda has spent the majority of her Summer in the Berkshires, where she has been working on herself. She tells Luke that she hasn’t really been drinking – “Nothing good happens when you have a couple of drinks, I don’t handle alcohol well.”

Dorinda is absolutely right, but I’d be lying if I said that the flashbacks didn’t make me laugh. (I still LOL every time I think of Dorinda in the pizza place; “CLIP!”) Dorinda and Luke discuss Luann – Dorinda thinks Lu was deflecting. “In the last year and a half, she’s been married, divorced, arrested, assaulted a police officer, went to rehab, came out of rehab, was still drinking the whole time, went back to rehab.” As much as I love Dorinda, I can’t stick up for her here – listing all of Lu’s downfalls is low. I don’t agree with that. Dorinda tells us that she wishes her well, but it’s not healthy for either of them to be around each other at this point. I think she’s right.

Over at Bethenny’s in Bridgehampton, we learn that Dennis passed only three weeks earlier. I had no idea that they began filming so soon after his death. I honestly cannot even imagine. Bethenny is telling her friends how she texted Dennis, even after she knew he was no longer here. She said she knows it’s weird, but it just made her feel better. Then she tells us that Brynn texted Dennis – and my heart is broken. Ugh, that poor little girl. Bethenny tells us in her confessional that it doesn’t matter what happened or how – the fact of the matter is, he’s dead. I totally agree with that. At the end of the day, the cause of death doesn’t mean anything. Someone lost their life, and it doesn’t matter if it was from cancer or an overdose. Death is death. I truly feel horrible for her.

Sonja has a new apartment – she has downsized, and she feels so refreshed now being in a smaller space. (For some reason, I truly doubt this, but whatever you say, Sonja.) Ramona comes over, and Sonja fills her in on how she’s planning on painting the walls pink (because her daughter wants to???) and wants to have black lacquer doors. Ramona is so disgusted by this, LMAO. They talk briefly about Bethenny, and Ramona tells us in her confessional that she feels really bad that Bethenny lost her friend Dennis, because she doesn’t have that many close friends. Seriously Ramona? Whyyyyy did you have to take it there? And you wonder why Bethenny doesn’t want to befriend you. I’m shaking my head.

Over at Lu’s in Sag Harbor, we meet Barbara. Luann and Barbara have known each other for 15 years. Their sons went to Summer Camp together, and they’ve been friends ever since. We learn that Barbara was a part of the intervention from Lu’s last stay in rehab. Luann is very grateful, she feels as though Barbara, as well as Bethenny and another woman named Anne, saved her life.

Luann tells us that she’s 53 days sober, and she becomes emotional. She’s been going to meetings every day, and she tells Barbara that she cannot slip again. I genuinely feel for Lu – addiction is no joke. It’s an uphill battle, but she seems to be doing great and I’m so happy that she’s sober and has a good support system.

Tinsley and Dorinda meet up to go shopping. (I’m loving Dorinda’s shirt, I need it.) Tinsley and Scott are still together, and doing well. (Except we know now, in real time, that they’re not.) Tinsley asks Dorinda if she’s spoken to Luann, to which Dorinda replies, “Nope.” They’re trying on clothes, and they bring up Bethenny; they both reached out to her in regards to Dennis passing. Dorinda comes out of the dressing room in a leotard/onesie thing, and Tinsley comments on how tanned she is. I’m dying when she responds, “I found out from that ancestry thing I have a little bit of Moroccan in me.” LMAO.

I am literally dying at Sonja laying in her bed, calling out for her assistant, Taylor, to bring her breakfast. (Poor Taylor literally looks like she hates her life – and I don’t blame her. I wonder what she gets paid?) Sonja tells us that “Mr. Netflix & Chill” is coming over, and she doesn’t have curtains up yet, so she literally duct tapes her monogrammed towels to the windows. I cannot.

Ramona’s at her house in South Hampton, and she’s meeting with a swimming instructor, Boris. Honestly, I’m not Ramona’s biggest fan, but she literally kills me at times. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to concentrate on swimming because you’re very cute.” LMAO, she’s a lot of work. She seriously looks beyond fab, though.

Tinsley and Sonja are heading to the Hamptons, and Tinsley is driving them in Scott’s car. Tinsley hasn’t driven in over five years, and she’s freaking out. “Blinking yellow, what does that mean? I think that’s new.” LMFAO.

Over at Bethenny’s, Lu and Barbara arrive. Luann brought a pie, and Barbara realizes she hasn’t brought anything. She’s going to go back to get flowers, but instead, decides to give Bethenny a tool kit (that she created). Ummm….really? So weird. Shameless plug. Bethenny tells Lu and Barbara that she’s sorry she’s acting weird – she said she felt fine, and then fifteen minutes before they arrived Dennis’s daughter sent her a picture of Dennis, and it got her feeling emotional.

Dorinda is the first to arrive at Ramona’s. She chose not to drive to with Sonja and Tinsley because she has anxiety about the whole Luann situation. Dorinda is silly when she first walks in – she brought a Lu and Tom tote bag, which Ramona will not touch because it’s “Bad Luck”. LMAO. Dorinda quickly confides in Ramona, however, that she’s very nervous to see Lu.

Over at Bethenny’s, Lu tells us that “Ramona is a liar.” Apparently, Ramona had lied about Luann being drunk at a party. Luann goes on to say, “Ramona’s always been a thorn in my side.” They discuss Lu’s issue with Dorinda – Lu thinks Dorinda “hates herself”, which I think is a very harsh and unnecessary thing to say. She also says that Dorinda doesn’t reach out to her.

Switching back over to Ramona’s house, Dorinda tells us that she’s very hurt by Lu. Ramona tells Dorinda, ” She can’t help herself, she’s not in a good place.”

We learn that Barbara is having a clambake, and she’s invited all of the girls. “Even Dorinda?” Bethenny asks. Barbara tells Bethenny that she and Dorinda have been friends for years. Lu tells them that she may not go to the clambake if Dorinda is going, and Bethenny then tells Barbara she should un-invite Dorinda, because Lu is the one in recovery. Seriously? That’s so over the top. GTFO.

We end with Dorinda telling Ramona that she and Luann both “need space” right now.

Although I’m underwhelmed this episode (minus the first two minutes), I also understand that it’s the first episode, and we need to get caught up with everyone. This season looks like a lot is going to go down…so we’ll see!

Until next week….

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My Pretty Little Life

I'm doing this for me

Month: March 2019

RHONY: IT’S A CLAM SHAME

RHONY: THINGS ARE GOING SOUTHAMPTON

RHOBH: FIFTY SHADES OF SHADE

RHONY: DIVIDED, THEY SUMMER