Season 11 Taglines are here! I have to start with those before we even get into anything else.
Lu – I plead guilty to being fabulous.
Ramona – The only thing I’ll ever settle for is more.
Sonja – People call me over the top, but lately I prefer being a bottom. (You guys, I am literally dead at this one. DEAD.)
Tinsley – Game, set, now I need a match. (Thanks for reminding us you’re not with Scott in real time anymore, Tins!!)
Bethenny – When life gives me limes, I make margaritas.
Dorinda – If you’ve got a problem with me, that’s your problem. (LMAO.)
Leave me a comment and let me know which one is your fav!
We’re at Ramona’s in Southampton, and Tinsley and Sonja just arrived. I’m literally LOLing when Sonja gets out of the car; “Tinsley’s a great driver! She’s gonna be a great mother, who knew!” The blondes are all together, and Dorinda has brought mermaid outfits. I am dying at this. Dorin has made a promise to herself to that she wants to do more fun, lighthearted stuff. LMAO.
We’re still at Bethenny’s with Lu & Barb. They’re talking about relationships.
Over at Ramona’s, we learn that Ramona had reached out and invited Lu and Bethenny to have dinner with her & the girls, but she’s not surprised that she never heard back from Bethenny. Ramona always has to go low, though. She tells us in her confessional, “It’s okay, Bethenny doesn’t get close to anyone. Who is she close to? Right now it’s Lu by default.” Oh, Ramona…
Lu calls Sonja, and Sonja answers, while Ramona listens in on their convo. “I’m surprised you’re not staying with me,” Lu says. “You’re staying with Ro-MEANa.” (Eye roll, grow up, Lu.) Sonja says how she switches off who she stays with during the Summer, and LMAO, it sounds like she has divorced parents fighting over her. “You’re a traitor,” Lu says teasingly. Lu is planning her own dinner, and I love how Sonja literally just flip flops and agrees to go with Lu, Bethenny and Barb, instead of Ramona, Tinsley and Dorinda. Barbara mentions her clambake, and Sonja tells the girls, “Barbara’s inviting all of us to her clambake tomorrow.” LMAO, no she did not. These women literally kill me.
The Blondes seriously have a mermaid photoshoot and I am dying. Especially at how long it took Ramona to get down the stairs, LMAO.
Sonja gets dropped off at The Almond Bar to meet the brunettes, and the three other blondes are basically across the street from them, having their own dinner. The blondes are at Topping Rose House, and as soon as they sit down at the table, Ramona gets up and is like, “I’ve been with you girls all day, I’m going to go to the bar for ten minutes.” LMAO. (I seriously laughed out loud at so many parts during this episode. Ramona is such a trip.)
Sonja and Barbara are the first to arrive, and they’re chatting and catching up. Sonja tells Barbara that Dorinda isn’t drinking, and that Lu and Dorinda are both taking care of themselves. “They’re both going to be at your party tomorrow,” Sonja says. Barbara pauses for a moment and then replies, “We need to talk about that. Lu’s in vulnerable state and doesn’t want to be around Dorinda. Can you just bring Tinsley?” (Really, Barbara? For starters, you literally already invited Dorinda – you told us you had an actual friendship with her. That’s so tacky. If you want to uninvite her, do it yourself.) Sonja looks perplexed and asks, “What am I supposed to tell my hostess? She’s excited to come.”
Luann, Bethenny, and Lu’s friend Anne arrive.
Switching back over to The Blondes, Dorinda and Tinsley are chatting, and they both feel weird knowing that the other girls are eating right across the street. “It’s like dueling dinners,” Dorinda says. Ramona returns, and she tells the girls how she was chatting with some guys at the bar and asked if they were married – and they were married, to each other. She thinks her gaydar is off.
The Brunette’s are talking about Lu’s recovery. Prior to her second rehab stay, Lu had been making really bad financial decisions. She was obsessed with this mansion, and was calling everyone she knew for $6 million dollars so she could buy it. (WHAT?) Bethenny tells us, “It was a fixation.” Luann is grateful for the support of her friends and their intervention. She admits that, “Alcohol is a power greater than me.” They talk about the clambake that’s going to take place the next day, and Lu wants Dorinda to call her and to be genuine, and then she’ll be okay with her going to the clambake. (This is so childish.)
The next morning, Ramona has a tennis instructor come over to the house. Tinsley, Ramona and the instructor are all playing – and the instructor, who Ramona loves to flirt with, is clearly into Tinsley. Ramona isn’t having it. She legit stops playing, and is like, “Well, I already worked out today, and I haven’t played tennis that much because it’s been rainy.” She’s so over the top.
Meanwhile, Bethenny is meeting Barbara. We’re at her investment property, and she’s contemplating selling it. Barbara is into contracting, so she wants her opinion on it. (That house was absolutely gorgeous.)
The Blondes are all chatting – they ask Sonja about her dinner with The Brunette’s the night before. “It was a lot about Lu and her recovery, she went back to rehab.” Ramona, who can never bite her tongue, says, “How do you go to rehab for 13 days? That’s like a vacation.” Dorinda wants to know when she actually went to rehab, and Sonja just wants to shut this down. “The mood of the dinner was not dissecting Lu and her recovery, but supporting her.” Dorinda feels like if any trigger is going to cause Lu to fall off the wagon, she probably shouldn’t be doing cabarets late night around booze. She thinks she probably needs a longer stay at rehab. (I totally don’t think that’s a fair thing for Dorinda to say – she hasn’t even been on speaking terms with Lu, so since she doesn’t know first hand, I don’t think she has a right to comment on her sobriety.)
Sonja drops the bomb – only she and Tinsley are invited to the clambake. Dorinda is pissed, and understandably so. She’s like, “I’ve already been told about the clambake. Should I call her and say I’m disinvited?”
Sonja tells her that The Brunette’s all think it’s a good idea for Dorinda to give Lu a call. Dorinda immediately is like, “No.” Sonja tells her that Barbara just wants to make sure Luann is comfortable, and Dorinda replies, ” I don’t have to make Lu anything. That’s not my responsibility.” Tinsley seems to be siding with Dorinda right now – she feels like Lu almost wants to make this worse.
Bethenny and Barbara are at Bethenny’s when Barbara gets a call from Dorinda. “What’s going on?” Dorinda asks. “I’m disinvited to the clambake?” Barbara replies, “You’re not disinvited at all.” (That’s a lie.)
Dorinda is livid at this point. “So you’re saying you want me to call Lu? I’m not doing it.” Barbara tries to talk, but Dorinda will not let her get a word in. At this point, I don’t even know what anyone is saying. Ramona is like a bug in Dorinda’s ear, and I think she’s making the situation worse.
Bethenny is shocked by the entire conversation. Dorinda tells Barbara that she wants Luann to call her, LMAO. I’ll admit, Dorinda is definitely being petty. But this whole situation is petty at this point; lets move on! Bethenny tells Barbara, “It’s like you’re talking to a wall.”
Dorinda uninvites herself, and tells Barbara she’ll see her back in the city. All of the girls are like, “Don’t end the call like that!” but Dorinda is way too riled up. She tells us that she’s not going to bend the knee to Luann.
Barbara calls Lu, and fills her in on what happened. Lu says she isn’t surprised at all, she had a feeling that Dorinda would respond that way. “Not only is she not going to apologize, but I don’t think she would piss on you if you were on fire,” Bethenny tells her. LMAO. Barbara is blown away by the call, and Lu says that she thinks Dorinda is still drinking. Barbara doesn’t think so, especially because Sonja told them that she wasn’t.
The girls are all getting ready for the clambake, except for Dorinda, who really isn’t going. I’m shocked that Ramona is planning on going, but that’s Ramona for you. Dorinda and Ramona are sitting outside, and Dorinda asks for Ramona’s opinion on a text she plans on sending Lu. (Dorin – please get anyone else’s opinion besides Ramona’s!!!!) Ramona tells her she thinks it’s totally fine to send it to her, and I’m like, Oh God. I can only imagine what that text says.
Barbara and Luann are picking up the food for the clambake when Lu receives the text from Dorinda. OMFG – she sent her a Tyler Perry quote. I don’t remember the entire quote, it’s something about forgiveness though. LMAO. “I’m not even going to respond,” Lu says. Then she says, “Or maybe I’ll say,’Wow, that’s so deep’.” “No,” Barbara tells her, “That’s antagonistic.”
It’s the day of Barbara’s Clambake, and Lu shares the text she got from Dorinda with Bethenny. Bethenny is basically on the same wavelength as everyone else – “She sent you a Tyler Perry quote?” Bethenny adds, “Now she’s Ramona crazy!”
The Blondes feel bad leaving Dorinda behind, but Dorinda honestly doesn’t mind, she likes her alone time. Sonja mentions Dorinda has FOMO – but she calls it MOFO, LMAO. On the ride to Barbara’s, Ramona tells Tinsley to tap her on the shoulder after 30 minutes, because she feels like that’s an appropriate time length to be at the party and then confront Luann about Dorinda. (DEAD LMAO.) She then tells her to tap her on the shoulder after one hour, because they promised Dorinda they’d only go for an hour.
The Four Blondes arrive, and Sonja is the first to enter the backyard. Lu notices, and her entire face drops when she sees Ramona in tow.
Not a crazy entertaining episode, but I was entertained nonetheless. I don’t know where I stand on this Lu & Dorinda fight. I think that they’re both being stubborn and need to just make up with each other. (I also haven’t seen the episode where Dorinda was apparently a monster to Lu, though.) But Luann is really holding a grudge here, and part of the 12 steps is to kind of put the past in the past, move on, not hang onto any resentment. I’m not saying she isn’t valid in feeling the way she feels, and I probably shouldn’t say anything at all because I’m not an addict and I don’t understand what she’s been through or how she feels. But I don’t think it’s healthy for either of them to hold onto this negativity. Even if they’re not friends again (which I seriously hope they do become friends again) they can just be cordial and coexist. I hate this pettiness.
Until next week….