RHONY: SHARK BAIT

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We start off with Dale & Tinsley – they’re going to Sobel, so Tinsley can get Botox for her TMJ. Tinsley tells us about the “Strut Your Mutt” Event, which is a fashion show for dogs that she’s hosting.  It raises awareness for animal rescue/adoption, and I think it’s a super cute idea.  (Also, I really want Botox.  Just throwing that out there, LOL.)

Sonja & Ramona are going for a walk, and they’re just chatting about everything. Ramona fills Sonja in on her blind date, and I’m dying.  “Well he speaks three languages and is very worldly,” Ramona tells Sonja.  “So he’s not good looking?” Sonja asks.  LMAO.  Ramona tells Sonja she wasn’t interested, and that she’ll admit she’s “into hot sex”.  Sonja calls Ramona the “Date Monster” – these ladies literally kill me.  They talk about Dorinda and Luann’s lunch, and they’re both happy that they seem like they’re in a good place.  They both also feel as though Dorin is in a very good place.  We learn that they’re all going to the Berkshires (@ Dorinda’s), and the Berkshire Flashbacks are giving me life.

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Over at Bethenny’s, she’s packing – she’s going to visit the guy she’s been seeing/dating in Boston. She also has a grief counselor coming over.  She doesn’t want to transfer her grief from Dennis to her new relationship.

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Honestly, this scene with Bethenny and the Grief Counselor broke my heart. Anyone who is questioning the timeline between the new guy and Dennis, I want to tell them to just shut the fuck up.  I’m pretty sure this therapy session literally explains it all.  We learn that a week before Dennis passed,  Bethenny had wanted out of the relationship.  She said that their relationship wasn’t healthy.  Yes, she loved him, but it wasn’t working.  Dennis told Bethenny he didn’t want to be in another relationship if he couldn’t be with her.  She’s carrying around guilt because of this.  When they talk about the fact that Dennis overdosed – how it’s so sudden, and how it is different than if someone dies of cancer, because it’s unexpected; one minute they’re here, and the next minute they’re gone – it truly hit very close to home for me.  I have the chills watching this – I’m sending Bethenny all of the love and prayers.  I pray for happiness for her.  I liked when the counselor told her “there is no road map for grief”, because he is absolutely right.  Regardless if Bethenny and Dennis were together or not at the time of his passing, at the end of the day, he was her person.  And my heart literally broke for her.

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It’s the day of the Strut Your Mutt event. Dorinda is first to arrive – we learn that she’s going to walk down the runway with Matilda, a cute little dog who’s 10 and has yet to be adopted.  We also learn that Dorinda’s dog, Lucy, recently passed.  She was fifteen.  When Dorinda tells us about the dream she had – she said it was so vivid and Richard was sitting on the couch, and she saw Lucy’s face, and felt like “She’s home.” (I’m crying right now TBH.)

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All of the girls are arriving. (Anyone notice Ramona totally pretend not to notice Dale? LMAO. )  The girls are all chatting, and Dorinda tell Lu she’s so happy that she’s coming to the Berkshires.  “I’m coming for my house upstate,” Lu responds haughtily.  Jesus Luann, can you not be a bitch for like 30 seconds?  Why is she so bitter?  Despite the fact that Dorinda and Barbara had an argument, Dorinda did still extend an invite to her.  Lu tells us that Barbara filled her in on her fight with Dorinda, and this is so annoying to watch.  Barbara, you’re such a shit stirrer.  Dorinda tells the girls she got a naked chef (mostly for Sonja, LMAO) and then I’m literally dead when Lu is like, “Can we get a yoga instructor?”  Dorinda agrees that she can, and I’m just like….WTF?

The dogs are all ready to take the runway, and I’m dying when Tinsley’s assistant, or whoever that girl is who is helping out with the fashion show turns to Tinsley and says, “Your mom wanted me to tell you you need lipgloss.” LMAO Dale, back off.

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Ramona thinks she’s ready to walk the runway this time around – and I’m crying laughing at the 2009 Runway Ramona flashback. OMG! Her bug eyes are everything.

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The Fashion Show goes very well, and it’s really cute. Sonja walks down with her dog, Marley; Dorinda walks down with Matilda; Ramona walks with her dog, Coco; and Dale walks down with Tinsley’s dog, Bambi.

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All of the girls are going out on a boat for the day except for Dorinda; she’s going to the Berkshires early so she can decorate. (Dorinda’s so cute!)  I think the owner of the boat was a friend of Ramona’s, and they’re just going out for the day.  Lu is being awful.  She freaks out over a glass of wine being in front of her.  (I mean, I get it, she’s a recovering alcoholic.  I just feel like she’s exaggerating everything right now.)  The girls basically interrogate Tinsley and her relationship with Scott – I think they mean well, but can we just leave Tinsley alone?  I did like that Bethenny really talked Tinsley up – I would never guess in a million years that Tinsley has body issues.  She’s so gorgeous, and she has such a great body! That was shocking to me.  But I thought it was super sweet of Bethenny to boost her confidence like that.

 

We’re in the Berkshires! I’ve never met Dorinda’s sister, Melinda, before this episode. (We do see a flashback of when Melinda was Santa one year, LOL.)  I knew that Dorinda had a home in Great Barrington, MA, but I had no idea she grew up there!  Great Barrington is at least a few hours from me, but we’re in the same state! I was fascinated by this LMAO.

Dorinda went all out decorating, and I love it. (I’m a huge Halloween fan myself, it’s my favorite time of the year.)  Tinsley, Ramona and Sonja are the first to arrive.  They’re all freaking out over the decorations, and Ramona points to skeleton like creature crying in the fetal position and says, “It looks like Bethenny crying!” LMFAO, Ramona. I can’t.

They’re all discussing the room situation inside the house, and Ramona picks up a sign that says “Good Vibes Only” and is literally putting it in everyone’s face and telling them that’s the theme for the weekend. (Ramona is so much work LMAO.) Dorinda promised Bethenny Hannah’s room; apparently that’s the best room.  Dorinda is giving that room to Bethenny because she has been going through a hard time and she wants her to be comfortable.  Dorinda plans on giving Lu the Moroccan Room, but Tinsley doesn’t want the Fish Room, so she’s like, “Fine, you can have the Moroccan Room and Lu can have the Fish Room.” (HONESTLY WHY DOES THIS MATTER!?)

The girls head out to The Wheatleigh Hotel for Dinner, and Lu meets them there. I die a little bit again when Lu asks Dorinda if she can get her a masseuse.  Luann, this is NOT a hotel.  Like what?  Dorinda agrees; she’s truly going above and beyond to accommodate Lu and make her happy.  The girls ask Dorinda what’s going on with Barbara, and she says that they’re fine.   Dorinda gets up to go to the bathroom, and when she’s gone, the room situation comes up once more.  “If I’m in the Fish Room I’m going to freak out,” Luann tells the group, to which Ramona and Sonja completely lose their shit and think this is the funniest thing ever. Dorinda comes back, and Lu immediately is like, “Why am I in the Fish Room?” Dorinda’s like, “I didn’t know you didn’t like the Fish Room.”  Luann goes off, and she’s pissed that Bethenny gets Hannah’s room – she thinks that Dorinda should’ve specifically given that room to her.  Tinsley speaks up, and is like, “She was going to give you the Moroccan Room because I didn’t want the Fish Room!” But this doesn’t placate Lu, she still thinks Dorinda should’ve given her the best room.

I am literally DEAD. I cannot get over the entitlement Lu feels like she has.  Luann, you sound like a spoiled little bitch.  Are you kidding me?  Honestly, Dorinda truly handled herself perfectly, because I would’ve lost my shit and told Lu to just leave.  The entire situation is beyond rude.  I couldn’t even imagine ever acting that way while being invited to stay at a friends home.  No class, no manners!

What’d you guys think? Do you think Luann should have the best room, or just be grateful that she has a room at all?

Until next week…..

RHOBH: SHOWDOWN AT VILLA ROSA

Typically, I like to recap the episodes, and then I’ll throw my own opinions in here and there. However, this episode was so explosive, and left so many of us wondering – who’s telling the truth?  So I think I’m going to do something a little bit different today.  I’m not going to recap the entire episode, but let’s discuss certain scenes that play into what’s to come.

We know from last episode, that Radar Online published a story about Dorit and how she betrayed LVP by giving the dog (Lucy) to a kill shelter, etc etc etc. We know Dorit was super upset by this, and she and PK both believe LVP is the one who leaked it.

Let’s fast forward. Teddi is hosting a spin class for charity – the proceeds will go to Vanderpump Dogs.  Normally a spin class is $20, however, they’re charging $60 for a good cause.  Teddi has had this event planned for a couple of months – originally planned with John Blizzard.  Apparently, John Blizzard was supposed to be at Cycle House at 10:00 AM to set up; Teddi gets a text from one of the girls who works at Cycle House who tells her no one from Vanderpump Dogs is there.  Teddi doesn’t really know what’s going on, for all she knows, maybe no one’s showing.  LVP was also supposed to be there – she wasn’t planning on actually spinning, but she was going to be there and play with the dogs, etc.

At 10:30, Lyndsey, a Vanderpump Dog’s employee, shows up. So no Blizzard, no Sessa, no LVP.  Given the circumstances, it makes total sense that Blizzard and Sessa would not go.  I can see how Teddi would find it odd that LVP doesn’t show – but the girls do not know that LVP is anxiously waiting to hear about the bill (Resolution 401?) being passed by congress.  This bill that Vanderpump Dogs has been working on with Congressman Alcee will condemn the dog meat trade.  Seeing that this is what LVP is doing, I see nothing wrong with her not going to Cycle House.  She kept her word as well, and Vanderpump Dogs did show up.

All of the girls show up to Cycle House (minus LVP). Rinna is the first one to bring up the Radar Online story.

“Someone leaked that,” she tells the group.

“Not someone,” Dorit adds.

“We know who, “ Rinna says matter of factly.

Clearly, the majority of the group agrees with this.

“What’re you trying to do?” Erika asks, in reference to LVP.

“I’m not going to let her bully me,” Dorit says.

Rinna says that what LVP did was “dirty”, and the girls agree.

Once the class is done, the girls all go to lunch at Fig & Olive, and they basically pick up right where they left off prior to spinning.   They talk about how neither John Blizzard or John Sessa showed up, and how LVP was also a no show.

“Lisa had another event,” Kyle tells the group.   Apparently, Kyle was invited to the event, and it was 11:00 AM- 5:00 PM. (Which, am I mistaken here, because I’m wondering why Kyle doesn’t tell them LVP is waiting on a huge bill to be passed by congress?? Did she tell them??? If she did, I don’t remember. )

“Why couldn’t she come to this first and then go to her thing?” Denise asks. Honestly, I think Denise is totally innocent in all of this bullshit.  She’s asking genuine questions because she doesn’t know.

“I have no idea,” Kyle replies. KYLE – why aren’t you saying what LVP is doing!?  LVP didn’t randomly plan an event at the same time the Cycle House event was going on.  She can’t control when and if a bill is going to be passed.  SHARE THIS WITH THE GIRLS.

“Cycle House is five minutes away from Vanderpump Dogs,” Teddi says, annoyed. “She could’ve shown up and said hi to people.”

“It’s very clever, because now she can say, ‘Oh darling, I couldn’t possibly have shown up! I had another event with the dogs!’” Rinna exclaims dramatically, mocking LVP.

I’m watching this, super annoyed that Kyle isn’t saying what she’s truly doing.

We cut to LVP watching TV, waiting to see what happens – and the bill passes! She’s thrilled, and I’m thrilled for her.

Back over at Fig & Olive, Dorit brings up the article.

“I know that Lisa sent that story.” Dorit – why are you so confident that LVP is the one who leaked it?

“We can never say who it is,” Kyle responds.

Dorit is adamant it’s Lisa, and the rest of the group (except Denise) seem to agree with her.

“She’s not here,” Kyle adds, trying to stick up for Lisa. (Sorry, not buying it, Kyle. You could’ve diffused this earlier on.)  “We all have very strong opinions about this, and it’s a bad situation to be in.”

“She chose not to be here,” Rinna retorts.

“It’s indefensible behavior, and you have everyone here telling the same story,” Erika adds.

Rinna feels like Kyle struggles between doing the right thing, and doing what LVP wants her to do. She finds their relationship weird.

The women continue talking about this article, and the more they discuss it, the more sure they are that LVP is 100% behind it. Why?  “Her wordage.”  She says “nipped.”  (That’s an English word.)  She says, “Poor creature.”  JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  You guys, have you really underestimated LVP that much!?!?! This is way too obvious to have been LVP’s doing. How does no one see that?

Rinna goes on to tell us that LVP told her years ago how to plant or leak an article if she needed to. Okay, Rinna, let’s play Devils Advocate – doesn’t that mean it could, potentially, be you?

“You’re friends with her,” Denise says innocently, “Have you ever known her to leak stuff to the press?”

Kyle starts to tip toe around the answer, and then Dorit demands an answer. “Kyle, answer the question.”

Kyle basically says that she has zero proof, but has she thought that Lisa has leaked a story to the press before? Absolutely.  We get a flash back of Adrienne, when she accused Lisa of leaking a story to Radar Online.

Do I think LVP has leaked stories in the past to the press? YES. I absolutely do.  I don’t believe LVP is 100% innocent – I think she’s done some shady shit in the past.  I think she was going to set Teddi up and let her take the fall for outing Dorit.  She underestimated Teddi.  But I actually do not believe LVP is the one who leaked this particular story.  None of it’s making sense to me.

“Have you talked to LVP since the article came out?” Kyle asks Dorit.

Dorit is basically offended. “Why would I?”

I mean – why wouldn’t you? If I was in Dorit’s position, I would absolutely call LVP and ask her point blank if she leaked it.  I get it – they don’t think LVP is going to tell the truth.  But if that’s your good friend, why wouldn’t you confront her about it?

The girls basically all want Kyle to confront Lisa.

Another thing that’s confusing to me – Kyle thinks that this story would benefit Lisa and Vanerpump Dogs. I don’t see how that story would literally benefit anyone.  It makes everyone look bad.

Kyle does take one for the team, and heads over to Villa Rosa to confront LVP. Ugh, you guys, I hated this scene.  LVP is genuinely so excited to see Kyle – she’s over the moon that the bill passed, and she just wants to enjoy an afternoon with her friend.  Legit my heart hurts for her.  Kyle feels like she needs to be truthful and honest – and I get that, I do.  But you chose to confront her on camera – you don’t think that’s shady?  If I honestly believed my best friend was doing what LVP is accused of doing, I would never confront her on camera.  You’re doing that for a story line.

“The Radar Online thing came up. Dorit is very upset.  If you read the article, it sounds like it came from your camp.  I’m in a really bad position.”

LVP is instantly annoyed. “Why are you in a bad position?”

“Because as your friend, I want to say, that’s not true.”

“You think I’m going to go to Radar Online, give them a story, and then go to TMZ and refute that story?” (Apparently, TMZ approached Lisa after the Res 401 bill passed and asked her about the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice situation, and LVP stuck up for Dorit.)

“That’s what everyone thinks, yes,” Kyle says.

LVP is literally disgusted and shocked. They argue back and forth, and Kyle exclaims, “ You never let me talk!”

Kyle then goes on to say, “I’m here as your friend.”

Ken gets involved, and sticks up for Lisa. “You’re not her friend.”

“I will defend what’s right,” Kyle tells them.

“So you think I would give a story to Radar Online about Dorit?” Lisa asks Kyle.

“Yes,” Kyle answers, without even blinking.

“This changes everything.” LVP is furious, and clearly hurt. She tells Kyle to leave, and that she’s done with it all, and starts to head upstairs.

Ken starts in on Kyle, and although I understand he wants to stick up for his wife, it’s like back the fuck up Ken. You don’t get to get that close and aggressive toward any woman, ever.  And stop pointing your finger at her.  Lisa comes back down to get Ken, and her and Kyle start going at it again.

Lisa swears on her children’s lives, as well as Giggy’s, that she didn’t do it. She tells Kyle that she if swore on Farrah & Portia’s lives, she would believe her.  It’s telling that Kyle doesn’t believe her.

“Maybe you care more about your image than your friendships sometimes,” Kyle says.

LVP is 100% done at this point. So is Ken.  “Twelve years of friendship – done.”

We hear Ken yell, “GOODBYE KYLE!” from the top of the stairs, and then Kyle finally, reluctantly, leaves.

I literally had chills watching this scene play out. (I’m so dramatic, I know.)  But I have a lot of feels.  And honestly, I don’t think Lisa leaked this story.  I don’t think she would’ve gotten so upset if she had.  I know I said I do believe she’s leaked stories in the past, and I think Kyle knows that.  But I feel like Lisa was kind of looking at Kyle like, “I’m telling the truth this time!”

So if LVP didn’t leak the story (just hypothetically speaking, because we don’t know anything for a fact right now, and we may never know for sure) then who did?

Let’s talk conspiracy theories. (My favorite subject, LOL.) I don’t believe all of them, but they’re fun to go through.  So let’s do it.

•John Blizzard and/or John Sessa – this is my first guess. We all know how pissed John Sessa was about Lucy, I could absolutely see him or Blizzard going to Radar Online & bashing Dorit.

•Production – It would be so shady if production was behind this, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all. After all, their show thrives when it’s drama filled, and if they have no drama, I wouldn’t put it past production to create some.

•LVP – The most popular theory right now, and the most obvious. But doesn’t anyone else think it’s too obvious? Lisa is not dumb. I also think she already got Dorit back in the first episode, when her & Teddi were originally conspiring to take Dorit down. We saw Lucy onscreen, and we learned that Dorit had given the dog to someone, and had ended up in the shelter. We all knew. It was out there. There’s literally no reason for LVP to then go and talk to Radar Online to talk about Dorit some more. That’s not even LVP’s MO. I think Lisa likes to get back at people who wronged her – but I don’t think she would take it that far. Not when she already got what she wanted – the story to be out there.

•Kyle – I’m not sure how I feel about this theory, but it’s a good one. Apparently, people think Kyle is the culprit. She leaked the story, made sure it sounded like LVP, sat back and watched everyone blame LVP and played like she was conflicted about it, confronted her, accused her, took LVP down, and now she’ll be the new Queen Bee of BH. LMAO. I mean, this is so over the top. I don’t believe it, honestly. It’s too much.

•Lisa Rinna – The only reasoning I’ve heard behind this theory is that Rinna has been wanting to take down LVP for a while, since the whole Munchausen thing w/Yolanda. Still, I don’t buy it. I don’t think Rinna would ever do that to Dorit, for starters. And although Rinna is clearly enjoying this LVP take down, I still don’t think she’s the one who leaked the story.

•Erika – This is the least plausible theory to me. It literally makes no sense. I know Erika isn’t LVP’s biggest fan, but I don’t think she gives enough fucks to do this. Also, she’s grown close to Dorit, and again, I don’t think she would ever do that to her.

•Teddi – Worst theory ever. Teddi just openly admitted everything, and feels genuinely bad about it. I’m not even discussing this theory, it’s stupid.

•PK & Dorit – I mean, what the actual fuck? When people kept saying this, I was like, what would the motive be behind that? Everyone came back at me with one thing – MONEY. Still don’t buy it. Dorit’s broken up about it, and I don’t believe she would ever do something that could potentially put her children in harms way.

 

That’s all I’ve got – if I’ve missed any theories, please, send them my way! I’m tired of talking about this LOL.

Until next week….