RHOBH: GRILLING ME SOFTLY

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We’re back in Beverly Hills, but we’re not staying here for long – we’re going camping! (Except this is literally not camping at all, these bitches are basically staying in hotel rooms.  They should’ve said Glamping.)  But anyway.

We start off with all of the girls packing (well, over packing), but I truly have never related more to Rinna in my life when she’s like, “I want to be extra prepared.”  I totally get that.  I pack the same way, even if it’s just for a night.

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The girls are all meeting up at Teddi’s house, since she has the RV.  It’s initially pretty awkward between Kyle and Dorit, which is understandable given the events of last weeks episode.  We do learn that PK has texted Kyle, and she’s decided to let the whole thing go, but things are still weird between Kyle and Dorit.

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They load up the RV, and then they’re off. We stop at the grocery store first – have these women ever been to a grocery store before?  I’m LOLing at Rinna – “I love a market.”  It’s like mayhem; everyone is just grabbing things off the shelf and throwing it in the cart.  They spend $700 – you guys, you’re going for one night!!!  They arrive at camp and decide who’s going to be rooming with who.  I’m LOLing also at Erika – she looks at Rinna with her huge ass bag and is like, “What the fuck is in this bag?  A body?  Vanderpump?” Dead.

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After everyone settles in, Erika goes to get a massage (again, this is not “camping” – I’m sorry, I had no masseuse on hand when I went camping) and the rest of the girls play beer pong.  Dorit is literally the beer pong champ – who would’ve thought? The girls are all having fun though, and it’s a nice break to see.

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This is also not what my “tent” looked like while camping.  LOL.

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Teddi and Dorit win the beer pong game, and then the girls all sit down to chat/drink.  Denise asks Kyle if she regrets her conversation with Lisa and Ken.  She doesn’t regret it, but she does regret the outcome. Dorit chimes in, and says, “I don’t understand how it turned that she’s angry with me.”  Teddi replies, “She was originally angry at you, Dorit.  That’s what you’re missing.  It was a passive aggressive punishment.”  (Fact.)  Erika rejoins the group, back from her massage, and they fill her in on the conversation.  She basically could careless about LVP.  Dorit says LVP “drew a line in the sand” in regards to their friendship, and Erika basically shrugs.  “I care about the women at this table,” she tells us.  “If you wanna be an asshole, go be a fucking asshole.”  I couldn’t agree more Erika!

The next day, the girls all go “rock climbing.”  Nothing about this is interesting to me – except, did Camille just say she used to wear a strap on with Kelsey? The fuck!?

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Back at camp, they start grilling, and it’s literally a disaster. Camille has been making petty comments about Teddi this entire episode in her confessional, and she’s annoyed that Teddi said she was “fired” from grill duty.  Like Camille, grow up.  Once the food is ready, the girls all sit down to eat.  Denise leaves this time to get a massage, and the rest of the girls are eating and chatting.  Of course LVP is brought up.  Camille says that she wants her at her wedding, and Teddi tells her that she should actually call her if she wants her there.  Again, in Camille’s confessional, she says that Teddi is a “know-it-all” and that it’s “irritating.”  Why is Teddi not allowed to have an opinion on a group conversation?

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Denise is back, and they somehow get on the topic of massages having happy endings.  We learn that Denise has had one, and she said when she met Aaron he had never had one, so she took him to get one, and Rinna and Teddi’s face in the picture above is everyone’s literal reaction to this news.  I am dead, lmao.  I love when Erika chimes in and is like, “I don’t know any man who’s never fucked a hooker.  I mean, Tom never said he did, but he was a young man once.”  I am dying.

The girls are all sitting around the fire, and Denise and Dorit go off to get drinks.  Camille comments to Kyle that things between herself and Dorit seem better, and Kyle says that they are, and divulges the information that PK reached out to her.  I don’t agree with Camille calling Teddi a know-it-all, but I don’t think she should’ve said anything at this point about this particular situation.  “Things don’t fly out of your mouth that you’re not thinking.  I’m sorry.”  Rinna agrees with Teddi and says, “That’s true.”  Kyle pipes in, “He was drinking though,” to which Teddi responds, “It was deliberate, not malicious.”  Rinna, forever a shit stirrer, says, “Maybe it was malicious.  Who knows?”

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Dorit and Denise are back, and Dorit asks, “What’s malicious?”  When she learns they’re talking about PK, she is visibly frustrated, and  I don’t blame her.  Why are we rehashing this!? Like let’s drop it, it’s over and done with.  The girls move away from the fire and over to the picnic table, where their conversation continues.  Teddi admits that she thinks PK was trying to be a dick, basically, which hurts Dorit’s feelings.  I understand where Dorit is coming from, and I also feel like just because Teddi feels a certain way at times, doesn’t mean she always has to say it.  Sometimes it’s better to just keep your thoughts to yourself and keep peace within the group.

Camille is beyond annoyed at this point, and she’s coming for Teddi.  She’s being super condescending to her, but denies it.  “You said you know everything,” Camille tells Teddi.  Erika looks at them both, confused, and then asks Teddi, “Did you say you’re a know-it-all?”  Teddi is like, “I never said that.”  Camille replies, “I said that she was a know it all to Denise.”  They banter back and forth, and it’s honestly stupid.  Teddi calls out Camille for talking behind her back but never having the balls to say it to her face, and Camille’s like, “My face is right here.”  (Lmao, I cannot.)  Dorit’s feeling emotional between what happened with LVP and her prior conversation with Kyle a few nights earlier, and Kyle apologizes for that.  They seem fine, and Teddi and Camille drop their argument as well.  Camille just thinks Teddi inserts herself into conversations where she doesn’t belong.

The girls head to bed, and the next morning, they pack up and head home.  Erika invites them all to her show that’s at The Globe Theatre, and we exit the show with all of the girls singing, “Kumbaya” in the RV.

Not a crazy episode, but I enjoyed the girls getting along for the most part, and Erika Jayne eating pumpkin pie for breakfast literally gave me life.

Until next week….

xo

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