RHOP: SEX, LIES & BUTTER KNIVES

I missed RHOP last week, but honestly, it was worth the wait. I love when Bravo gives us a super crazy intro – everyone is going insane at Candiace’s Dinner Party – and then we’re hit with a “One week earlier” – and everything is light and breezy around Potomac.

We’re at Candiace and Chris’s, and Candiace is talking about how she wants to move. Though the house is hers – it’s technically her Mom’s.  At least, I think her Mom’s name may be on it?  She is tied to it in some way.  Chris doesn’t think Candiace should be in a rush to move, but Candiace wants something that is just hers and Chris’s, and honestly, I don’t’ blame her.  Candiace tells us how she was recently at a friend’s wedding.  Her and her mother were bickering, and her mom smacked her in the face with her purse.  Like, WTF? How is this woman a therapist? Candiace talks about the upcoming dinner party she and Chris will be hosting.  Chris is working on a cookbook, and he wants to try out the recipes on the ladies.  Candiace tells us she did invite Ashley, despite their recent drama.  Chris is happy about this because he thinks Ashley would be a good critic, since her husband owns a restaurant.  It’s just a girls dinner – no husbands.

Ashley meets up with Gizelle and Robyn, and the three of them are going for a walk. They talk about New Orleans, and Gizelle asks, “What went on with you and Candiace?” Ashley dismisses it – she says she has a lot going on, so she’s just letting it go with Candiace for now.  She fills them in on the fact that she’s performing at Gay Pride in Virginia.  (Ashley has a single – “Coffee and Love”? Why don’t I recall this?)  She then tells them that she missed both of them at Monique’s baby shower.  Gizelle tells Ashley what Candiace had told her during lunch – that basically she didn’t buy anything Ashley said about being upset about her miscarriage, and that Michael had “crocodile tears.” Ashley is genuinely shocked by this, and upset, naturally.  Robyn tells us in her confessional that Candiace’s delivery is wrong, but she gets why Candiace is questioning Ashley.  “Some thing’s just aren’t normal.” Gizelle then brings up what Monique said about Katie, the whole “Amistad” thing.  Gizelle says that she and Monique are in a good place, so she doesn’t want to “attack her.”  But she does want to confront her.  And then in typical Gizelle fashion, she throws some shade in.  “Katie with her hair wrapped up looks better than Monique on her best day.” I’m shaking my head.

Karen and Ray have a brief scene while they take a dance class. Nothing really happens here.

Over at Monique’s, she’s having a maternity shoot. She’s literally in a wedding dress, and taking pictures in the pool under water.  At first I thought this was super extra, until I saw the pictures.  They came out so great!  She’s invited Ashley over.  They also talk about NOLA; Monique saw a change in Ashley, which is why she’s good with them moving forward with their friendship.  Ashley tells Monique about the conversation Gizelle apparently had with Candiace.  Monique doesn’t even remember saying Katie looked like “Amistad”, and she’s kind of like WTF?

Gizelle is with her mom, and their meeting with Gizelle’s realtor and a contractor. The house that she is currently looking to buy needs a ton of work, but the land is really good.  Gizelle said that it brings her “peace”, despite all of the work she’ll need to put into it.  Her mom approves, and you can tell that means a lot to Gizelle.

Over at Ashley and Michael’s, they’re moving their pool table out of the middle of the room, and Michael is totally freaking out. Honestly, this is so dramatic.  They talk about Monique’s baby shower, and Michael says he feels like he never really mourned over the fact Ashley miscarried.  Ashley debates if she wants to tell Michael what she’s heard Candiace has said, but decides not to.  She doesn’t see a point in bringing that negativity to their relationship right now.  Instead, she tells him about her spa day with Karen, and how she can see a friendship in the future with Karen, which is a nice surprise to her.  Ashley also talks about how she’s invited to Candiace’s dinner party, and she feels “apprehensive.”

We have a quick scene at Robyn’s – Juan and her two sons are making her breakfast in bed, and they also bring her roses. It’s actually really cute and sweet, and I feel like Robyn and Juan truly have come a long way.  Robyn talks about possibly re-marrying Juan.  I wonder if wedding bells are in their future.

Monique and Candiace meet up for dinner at Fig & Olive. Monique doesn’t believe that Candiace would say anything about her to try and put her in a bad light, so she wants to talk to her about what she’s heard that she has said, and just get it out of the way.  Monique tells her, and Candiace literally goes dead silent – almost like a “fuck, I got caught” silence. Then she says, “I told Gizelle that you said something about Katie looking rough and compared it to Amistad.”  Candiace tells us in a confessional that she regrets this.  Monique says, “Ashley said she was told that I compared Katie to a slave.”  Candiace replies, “That’s what Gizelle said.”  That makes more sense to Monique.  She goes on to say, “The way it was brought to me was almost like you were throwing me under the bus.” I honestly thought Candiace was going to apologize here – but she doesn’t.  “I felt like you were pre-judging Katie.”  Monique wasn’t “pre-judging” her, she was “making an observation.”  She basically says that Katie used to be super prim and proper and really cared about what people thought, and now she’s a free spirit.  She didn’t mean anything by it.  “I thought you were being judgmental,” Candiace says, not backing down.  Monique’s upset.  “You’re over here trying to pick me apart the way your mom does to you.” Candiace isn’t here for that.  “Don’t bring my mom into this.”  Monique responds, “You’re doing the same thing to me.”  Candiace is pissed.  And apparently, Candiace is also pissed because a week earlier, Monique told her that she was behaving like Ashley used to last year.  Basically, being messy.  I mean, Monique isn’t wrong. Candiace is literally just saying anything that comes to her mind. “I resent that,” Candiace says to Monique.

It’s the night of the dinner party. Robyn is the first to arrive (am I the only one shocked by this!?) Gizelle is next.  The girls all talk around the kitchen while Chris finishes up cooking.  They talk about how Ashley is invited, and Candiace makes a comment about her accepting the invitation in a “fake manner.”  “Not everything is fake about Ashley,” Gizelle remarks. “I’m not going to let you do that.”  Candiace is unbothered.  “Her hair is real.”  “Can you give the girl a break?” Gizelle asks.  “She’s coming into my home,” Candiace retorts. “That is her break.” Robyn calls out Candiace next.  “You have a hard on for Ashley’s life, it’s strange.” Candiace replies, “It keeps coming up.” Finally – the truth comes out.  They talk about the party at L2, and Candiace says what she heard Michael say – that he wanted to “suck someone’s d**k”.  Robyn feels like she’s in the twilight zone.  She knows she heard it, too, but she thought she was just drunk and confused.  Candiace says she’s tired of being accused of coming after Ashley for no reason.  There is a reason – her “sham, façade of a marriage.”

They continue to talk about it – Gizelle is shook. Robyn and Candiace both confirm that Ashley “disappeared” with Michael after he made the comment –for about thirty minutes or so.  Chris chimes in – holy shit, he heard it too! He thought Michael said, “sausage” and not “dick” but Robyn is adamant that she actually heard dick.  Gizelle wants to know who Michael is even talking about, and Robyn says, “One of our husbands.” It all clicks for Gizelle, and now she knows why Candiace has been coming for Ashley.  Robyn turns to Gizelle and says, “You remember a few years ago?” They reminisce on how Michael grabbed Andrew’s ass on the dance floor.  (Who is Andrew, and again, why don’t I remember this?) The doorbell rings, and the conversation is interrupted.  Candiace goes to get the door, and Gizelle turns to Robyn and says, “How did you not tell me this!?” Robyn replies, “I thought I was dreaming!” LMAO.  “What do we do with this?” I honestly can’t remember which one of them asked this, but I’m pretty sure it’s Gizelle that replies, “We bring it up!”

Monique is here, followed by Karen. Karen tells us it’s her first time seeing Gizelle since New Orleans, and she plans to just “keep it moving.”  Katie and Ashley are the last to arrive.  Monique touches Katie’s arm as she walks by and tells her she’d like to talk to her later.  You’d think this would be the drama of the dinner, but it’s not.  Katie either doesn’t know yet, or is just completely unfazed.  The second Ashley sits down she’s immediately on the defensive.  Chris made a pear dish that has wine in it, and he checks with Monique before serving it.  The ladies all think it’s fine for Monique, who’s pregnant, to have it.  “So Monique can have wine when she’s pregnant but I can’t have any alcohol when I’m trying to get pregnant?” It starts there, and then Ashley literally comes for Candiace about everything.  I’m dying when Monique is like, “Can we get the salad first?” LMAO.  Ashley says that there’s an “elephant in the room” and Gizelle replies, “There’s an elephant on the table, so let’s talk about it.” Ashley calls out Candiace for saying she wasn’t actually upset about the miscarriage, and Michael’s “crocodile tears.”  I’m dying – Candiace is literally impersonating Ashley on the microphone using a butter knife.  I am dead.  They’re screaming back and forth at each other, and the next thing I hear is Ashley saying, “I’m in your Mama’s house right now!” This sends Candiace over the edge, who literally leaps from her seat and is waving her butter knife in the air and yelling at Ashley to “Get the fuck out!” Chris has to come hold her back.

And then we are hit with a To Be Continued. Jesus! We haven’t even gotten to the heart of the issue yet, and everyone is already wildin’ out.  What’d you guys think?

Until next week….