THE HILLS: NEW BEGINNINGS – YOUโ€™RE NOT MY FAMILY

We start where we left off last week – Stephanie’s welcome home party, at Nightingale.

Everyone’s arriving and greeting each other. We get a quick flashback of Stephanie and Spencer’s tumultuous relationship. (This clip will forever make me laugh, I’m sorry. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Steph is literally crying, and tells Spencer he made her cry. His response? “No, you’re making yourself cry thinking about what you did.” I’m LOLing right now. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚)

Spencer tells us in his confessional that he feels like he’s made a lot of progress over the years, but he’s unsure if Stephanie has. To him, it doesn’t seem like it, based on what he sees on social media. Spencer says that “Stephanie is a lot” – and he basically just wants to be on the right side of all of that energy.

Stephanie claims she wants to mend her relationship with Spencer, yet she’s super weird as soon as they exchange hello’s. Heidi knocks something over, I don’t even know what it was, but it breaks. Heidi brushes it off, but it’s not malicious, it seems more out of awkwardness than anything else. The second Spencer and Heidi go mingle, Stephanie’s complaining. “Cool, she got that all over me,” she says to Justin, wiping her leg off. She looks over and sees Heidi and Spencer sitting and talking with people. “They have their own table.” Justin tries to reel her back in, but she’s already pissed. “This just doesn’t feel right.”

Brody skips the party. He’s at home with Kaitlynn, and he’s taking a bath. She comes into the bathroom to talk to him and he’s like, “Is this good mood Kaitlynn or bad mood Kaitlynn?” I swear I would lose my shit if someone said that to me, and then I would def be a “bad mood” bitch. In Brody’s confessional, he’s asked if he misses his single life. “Is that a trick question?” He’s “joking” and goes on to say that being at home with his wife and his dogs truly is his favorite thing. Is it really though, Brody? Cause that’s not how you’re acting. ๐Ÿค”

Back at the party, Justin and Audrina are flirting. Audrina says that Justin and Stephanie have a lot in common. (Basically they’ve both traveled to other countries.) Justin says that he and Stephanie always used to be really friendly, and I’m dying when Audrina calls him out. She doesn’t recall Justin and Stephanie ever being friendly. That makes two of us, Audrina.

Mischa asks Steph if she’s dating anyone and she tells her she hasn’t dated anyone in two years. “We have to change that!” Mischa exclaims.

Perez is here, and Mischa is annoyed but ready to confront him. Honestly I’m super proud of her right now for being the bigger person and just facing him head on. I don’t think Perez even had intentions of talking to Mischa, let alone apologizing, had she not called him out. She really lets him have it, and he says that if he could go back and do it all over again, he wouldn’t have done those things. He does own that he was shitty, but I don’t think he actually feels that bad.

Audrina joins them and basically asks if he did it for the money – he doesn’t say yes, but he doesn’t say no either. Mischa questions him – “Would you really go back and do it all over?” This enrages Perez because he “swore on his daughter” and he can’t believe Mischa would doubt that.

He flips his shit and walks away, and Mischa is like, “Whatever, he’s a total dick.” Stephanie and Whitney are both like, WTF? And Audrina is super proud of her. She feels better knowing that she’s gotten that out of the way, and she didn’t run away from her problems, like she typically would.

Whitney asks Steph if she’s spoken with Spencer yet, and she convinces her that they should probably have a convo. Steph agrees, and she pulls Spencer aside to chat. I don’t know if she’s just nervous, but everything about her approach was so wrong to me. She was acting weird. Her mannerisms, her word choices. It was all bizarre.

Someone asks Heidi (I think it was Frankie but I could be wrong), “What’s the deal with you and Stephanie?” Heidi replies, “It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who always wants to have a problem with you.” Preach.

Meanwhile, Stephanie and Spencer’s convo is not going well. “I just don’t get why it’s so hard,” Stephanie says. “Why what’s so hard?” Spencer asks, to which Stephanie replies, “Us.” You can see Spencer become visibly annoyed. “You talk nonstop shit about my wife, myself, and even my unborn son.” I feel like this was Stephanie’s chance to apologize – she should’ve just said she was hurt and that she was sorry and that she wants to move on. But she doesn’t. She harps on the fact that she didn’t know Heidi was pregnant, and she found out on her birthday. I agree with Spencer – she cares more about the fact that she happened to find out on her birthday over everything else. At least, that’s how it seems. “Spencer, you’re my family,” Stephanie says. “You’re not my family,” Spencer retorts angrily. “I don’t trust you.”

Spencer leaves, and Stephanie goes back to join the group. Heidi isn’t having this. She pushes her way through and is like, “I need to talk to Stephanie.” Stephanie says, “Did you see how your husband just talked to me?” Heidi literally goes, “Oh please.” Heidi basically tells Stephanie she doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her and why she acts a certain way towards them. Stephanie is still not letting the pregnancy thing go. “If I was married and got pregnant, I would make sure I told my husbands sister.” Heidi isn’t getting anywhere with this convo, so she gets up to leave. Stephanie runs off too.

Justin Bobby goes after her, which truly has me over here like WTF. Justin thinks Stephanie gets a bad rep but ultimately wants to reconcile with her family at the end of the day.

Mischa and Audrina go to check on Steph also (although, I think Audrina really wanted to check on Justin, lmao.) Audrina thinks Stephanie should probably just distance herself from Spencer and Heidi right now. She tried, but it’s not working. Audrina and Mischa leave, but Justin hangs back with Stephanie. What the hell?

The next day, Audrina, Mischa and Whitney are going for a hike at Runyon Canyon Park. They talk about the previous night, and Whitney and Audrina are both proud of Mischa for standing up to Perez. Mischa says it was “cathartic” for her, and she’s working on getting her confidence back and not being so meek. They also talk about the drama between the Pratt Siblings – Mischa thinks Spencer was mean to Stephanie, but Whitney points out that they don’t know what Stephanie said – she could’ve said something to set him off. Audrina agrees, and says that they both push each other’s buttons.

At Spencer and Heidi’s, Spencer is having a healing crystal session. (I am so here for this.) He wants to “refresh” after last night. Spencer tells Heidi he feels like Stephanie wants drama, and she agrees. She doesn’t think they should’ve even engaged with her. Spencer feels the way same. He thinks he made a mistake in going to the party to begin with.

Justin calls Stephanie and stops by her house. WHAT IS GOING ON? Seriously, MTV, stop fucking with me!! Justin feels bad for Stephanie, and worries about her “slipping.” (I assume he means with drugs?) Steph wants to go back to London, and Justin tells her that she just got back and should give it a little time. Stephanie tells us that she thinks Heidi manipulates her brother.

Frankie and Brody go to Brandon’s, who’s having a guys dinner. Brandon is only 23? He’s a baby. How does he even know Brody and Frankie? I’m bored at this point, but then Brandon talks about sobriety, which I will say I think is wonderful. I’m happy for him that he’s sober, and for even realizing that he had a problem at such a young age, and staying clean. Especially in his lifestyle, that has to be really tough and I give him a lot of credit for talking so candidly about it.

Brody briefly talks about his relationship with Bruce/Caitlyn. Basically he wasn’t really around much when he was young, and then he got older and they started to grow closer and Bruce became Caitlyn. Brody feels like he was just kind of getting to really know Bruce. He knows that Bruce is happier as Caitlyn, so he’s happy for that – but she’s kind of off living her own life, so he’s learned not to expect too much from her.

Then in his confessional – I’m confused AF, because I’m not even sure where this came from – does he insinuate that him and his wife, Kaitlynn, have an open relationship? Like what is going on right now?

We’re at Audrina’s with her stylist, Joey, when Heidi, Gunner and “Gunner’s assistant” show up. (Seriously? She’s a nanny.) Audrina tells them that Justin Bobby invited her to a concert/festival. She’s going, but she said she was mildly disappointed that she didn’t hear from him all week. Joey thinks it’s rude, and Audrina says Justin’s behavior is inconsistent. She tells them that her friend, Ashley, wants to set her up on a blind date. They think she should do whatever makes her happy.

Audrina’s friend, Ashley, is actually Jason Wahler’s wife. Remember when Jason dated LC on Laguna Beach!? And maybe briefly on The Hills. I don’t remember. He’s a totally different person now – he’s sober, married, has a baby, and is very happy. I’m happy for him and his family. Ashley and Jason are also going to the festival with Audrina and Justin.

The day of the festival arrives, and Audrina calls Justin to find out what the plan is. Justin seriously doesn’t even pick her up. He’s such a fuckboy. Audrina, please write him off! Audrina still goes to the concert, despite being disappointed. She says that Justin has let her down, but she’s willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. “He has the sweetest heart, but he gives me mixed signals.” Audrina is like, “Two can play that game.” She mentions how Ashley & Jason plan on setting her up, and Justin pretends to act unbothered, but it’s clear he’s jealous. I know last week I said I was here for this, but I lied. I am so not here for this pettiness. It’s been ten years. Either get together or move on, we’re way too old for this.

I wasn’t super enthralled in this weeks episode, but I’m not done with it yet. Who’s side are you on – Stephanie’s or Speidi’s? Do you think Justin Bobby and Stephanie have ever hooked up before? And do you think Brody and Kaitlynn have an open relationship?

Until next week…..