All housewife franchises – take note! These are the kind of episodes Bravo fans live for.  So insane, let’s just jump right in.

We start out with Gizelle and Robyn – they’re shopping for stuff for Gizelle’s kitchen. We learn that Gizelle’s offer was accepted on the home she wanted to renovate, and she wants to take her time decorating and getting it all together because she sees this house as her “forever home.”

Robyn and Gizelle sit down, and Robyn tells Gizelle that she met up with Katie and Katie is planning to invite all of the girls over to her house (her farm) for a Hoedown. They bring up Ashley, because she’ll obviously be there.  Robyn tells Gizelle that she doesn’t really get why she had to apologize to Ashley.  “You brought it up,” Robyn tells her.  Gizelle is annoyed, and asks, “Are you trying to put this on me?” Robyn replies, “I’m not trying to put this on you, but I don’t get why I’m the only one she’s upset with.”  (I totally agree with Robyn, for the record.)  Gizelle disagrees. “That’s what we’re not doing,” she says. “We’re not bringing Gizelle into PenisGate.”  Gizelle goes on to say, “I wasn’t there, I didn’t hear it.  I have enough to deal with.”  Robyn calmly responds, “We all have enough to deal with.  No one’s mad at you.  She (meaning Ashley) thinks I should’ve pulled her to the side, but I’m not the one who instigated it.”  I mean, Robyn is not wrong.  Gizelle is the one who brought this up.  “You brought it up,” Robyn tells her. 

Gizelle finally sees what Robyn is saying.  “Okay, fine.  I brought it up.” Robyn asks her, “Do you think we should’ve pulled her to the side?”  Gizelle admits, “Okay fine, I own it. This is partly my fault.  But only like 4%.”  LMFAO.  Gizelle admits she was also in the wrong, and along with Robyn, she plans to apologize to Ashley.

Candiace visits Chris at his restaurant. She tells him she came to see him for “another date night”, and I’m dying when Chris is like, “That’s okay.  I don’t need to spend 24 hours with you.”  LMAO.  Candiace beings to fill in Chris on how therapy went with her Mom.  Chris laughs – and then he apologizes for laughing – but he can’t help it because he feels like the way Dorothy treated Candiace in therapy is how Candiace treats him when they argue.  This annoys Candiace.  “I do not diminish the way that you feel,” she snaps.  “You don’t,” Chris agrees, “But the argument is similar.”  Candiace is pissed – she gets up and storms out of the restaurant.  She gets in her car, and Chris follows her, standing in between the car door.

“You need to be able to see the other side,” Chris tells her. Candiace isn’t listening to him.  “The dynamic is not the same,” she repeats.  Honestly, how does Candiace not see that what she’s doing to Chris right now is exactly what her mother does to her?  Chris is not wrong.  Candiace is being a total brat.  The behavior she’s exhibiting right now is identical to Dorothy’s behavior.  Chris continues to try to reason with her.  “When you get emotional like this you shut down and you don’t want to deal with anything.”  “That’s my fucking right!” Candiace yells at him.  At this point, Candiace clearly can’t be reasoned with, but Chris isn’t done trying.  He brings up the situation with Ashley and Candiace loses it.  “I want you to shut the fuck up and leave.  Move.”  Chris won’t budge.  “I’m trying to help you!” He says exasperatedly.  Candiace is acting like a spoiled brat.  She won’t listen, and she drives off, leaving her argument with Chris unresolved.

Meanwhile, Karen and Ray are going for a motorcycle ride. LMAO, I love Karen.  She hasn’t driven a motorcycle in years. She feels renewed since going to the salt cave, so this is something she really wanted to do.  With an instructor’s help, Karen literally rides around the parking lot on a motorcycle.  She tells us she feels liberated.

Monique is shopping for baby clothes, and Ashley meets up with her. (Side note: Monique is literally the cutest pregger EVER.) Ashley fills her in on her performance at Virginia Gay Pride, and Monique apologizes for not being there.  “You had your people there with you, though,” she remarks.  And then she asks, “Is Robyn still your people?”  Ashley tells Monique she’s not happy with Robyn.  She brings up the brief conversation that she had with her, and how Robyn tried to blame Gizelle because she instigated it.  “We all know Gizelle is an instigator,” Ashely says.  Monique thought that the whole thing was “too much.”  Ashley thinks that Robyn should’ve not said anything at dinner, even when being put on the spot by Gizelle.  In her confessional, Monique tells us, “How you gonna get mad at Robyn?  You know Robyn ain’t the brain, she’s Pinky!” They also briefly discuss Candiace’s behavior at dinner, and Monique admits she didn’t appreciate the way she acted.  She tells us that she can’t figure out why Candiace is gunning for Ashley.

Two Days Later:

Oh, the dramatics! They even give us the exact date: 9/27/18.  News breaks about Michael – he’s being charged for “groping/grabbing” a cameraman’s butt, and could face up to 3-11 years in jail if he’s found guilty.  The word is quickly spreading all around Potomac.  Gizelle texts Robyn – it’s a link about Michael being charged with sexual assault.  Candiace FaceTimes Monique – “Have you heard the news?” Monique tells her it’s everywhere, she even heard it on the radio.  We see a clip of Wendy Williams covering the story, and she basically accuses Ashley of knowing Michael did it. I’m not surprised by these allegations – but I am surprised when Monique tells Candiace that this incident supposedly happened the day of the Rainbow Party.  Ummmm, what!?

Meanwhile, Ashley is out with Katie, and they’re shopping for the hoedown. Ashley is completely in the dark that this news broke.  Gizelle calls her to check in.  She quickly realizes Ashley doesn’t know what’s going on, so she tells her.  Ashley acts extremely nonchalant about the entire situation, and she says that she knows all about it – it’s not true, but she can’t really talk about it.  I think we can all agree with Gizelle when she’s like, “What’s really going on here?”

We’re at Monique’s, and Candiace comes over. Monique is putting together her bassinet, because the doctors told her that the baby could come sooner than expected.  The girls start chatting, and the crazy dinner party gets brought up.  “You went from zero to outer space,” Monique tells Candiace.  Candiace says she was angry.  She feels like Ashley took what she shared with the group (about her mom) and used it against her.  “You allowed her to get under your skin,” Monique says.  “Even Chris couldn’t calm you down.”  Monique is trying to be real with Candiace.  She tells her she felt like she wasn’t acting like grown woman, she was throwing a temper tantrum.  Candiace isn’t happy about this.  She feels like she’s being judged by a friend who’s exhibited “hood” behavior.  (Really Candiace?)  Candiace tells Monique, “I don’t want this stuff with my mom to spill over into my relationship.”  Monique replies, “It’s definitely spilling over into your friendships.”  She goes on to tell her, “You could’ve had a little bit more self control.”  Monique is honestly just trying to be a good friend to Candiace – sometimes friends tell you shit you don’t want to hear, but it’s the truth.  Instead of listening to Monique, Candiace is just getting annoyed.  She’s not seeing that she’s coming from a good place.

It’s the day of the hoedown. Robyn is first to arrive.  Ashley and Gizelle are riding together.  Gizelle apologizes to Ashley for her part in bringing up “Penis Gate”, and Ashley forgives her.  Karen and Monique are riding together, and they’re discussing the recent allegations against Michael.  “Consent is everything,” Karen says.  (I’m dying.)  Gizelle briefly brings up the situation to Ashley, and Ashley says that she cannot talk about it.  Gizelle drops it.

All of the ladies are arriving. When Gizelle and Ashley arrive, Ashley jumps out of the car, super excited to see everyone.  She’s bubbly and hyper, and Robyn finds it strange.  “She’s going to pretend like nothing happened,” she tells us in her confessional.  Robyn pulls Ashley aside to apologize, and Ashley quickly forgives her.  For now, everyone is totally fine.

The girls play games – corn hole, tug of war, beer pong, and they’re all having fun. Before they sit down to eat, Katie gives a super weird toast.  The girls all sit down at the table, and Candiace apologizes to everyone for her outburst at dinner.  “I appreciate the apology,” Gizelle says, “but it needs to go to that side of the table.”  Gizelle references where Ashley is sitting.  “That’s a conversation that needs to happen separately,” Candiace says. Then she adds, “But I was also told by you that Ashley never wants to speak to me again.”  Gizelle agrees – Ashley did say that. Candiace goes on to say that if Ashley is open to speaking with her, they can have a conversation.  “Thank you, I appreciate that,” Ashley says.  She doesn’t add whether or not she wants to have a conversation with Candiace. 

Ashley then goes on to bring up Michael – she addresses it as the “elephant in the room”, but tells the girls she can’t discuss it. “You can’t say anything?” Robyn asks.  Ashley says no.  In her confessional, Robyn says that Ashley has been very messy in the past when it came to everyone else’s business. (Thank you to the shady producers for those throwbacks of how messy Ashley was.  I told you – KARMA.)

Karen tells Ashley, “ I hope that it turns out positive for you.” LMFAO at Gizelle – she has to stir the pot.  “Karen, you were high-fivin’ Robyn at Candiace’s house.”  This irritates Ashley, who looks at Karen and says, “Karen, just remember, you have a few skeletons in your closet.”  Karen owns that she did high five Robyn, but says that Gizelle needs to be held accountable for bringing Ashley back in the house after Candiace had already kicked her out.  “What kind of friend are you?” Karen asks.  Monique tells us that she thinks they’re all wrong, and Katie wants them to just “squash it.”  Robyn calls out Candiace for coming for Ashley.  Candiace tells Ashley, “I want to be friends. I have no vendetta against you, Ashley.” Gizelle is like, “Well, you said her marriage sounds fishy.”  “That’s my opinion!” Candiace exclaims.

(Candiace, why aren’t you getting this? Yes, you have an opinion, and you’re entitled to it.  But don’t say you don’t have a vendetta against Ashley and you want to be her friend when you’re saying all of this negative shit.  It doesn’t make sense.) Gizelle says that it’s judgment, not an opinion, and Monique and Robyn agree.  “I don’t care what Monique says, I don’t care what Robyn says!” Candiace tells us.  Monique is calling her out, and Candiace is pissed.  “You’re all hypocrites!”

The girls are all arguing at this point, and Katie interjects with another toast – “To fake bitches and ass grabbing!” LMFAO, that literally shuts up the entire table. Everyone disperses.  Karen approaches Ashley and asks, “Are you okay, Miss Ash?”  “I’m always gonna be alright, Karen, but thanks for asking,” Ashley snaps.  “Is there an attitude there?” Karen asks her. “Yeah, because I also overheard you saying stuff, too,” Ashley tells her.  She goes on to say that Karen is nice to Ashley’s face, but talks shit behind her back.  “You should be used to that,” Karen says. “That’s what you do to everybody.”  Ashley says that she doesn’t do that to Karen – if she has an issue with her, she tells her to her face.  “Karma is a bitch, honey!” LMFAO Karen is not playing.  Ashley makes a comment about Ray’s old lawsuit, and Karen is not having it.  I’m dying when she makes some comment about Michael being careful with the soap, referencing him going to jail.  LMFAO.  I can’t you guys.  You can’t even make this shit up.

Candiace pulls Karen aside, and someone apologizes to Katie. Monique joins Candiace and Karen.  Candiace told Karen she feels like people who are supposed to be her friend aren’t on her side.  Monique is like, “You’re not hearing what we’re saying.”  Candiace says she hears exactly what they’re saying.  “For you to call me a hypocrite Candiace, I’m so irritated right now with you.  I’m not a hypocrite, I’ve been saying the same things to you!  You don’t like the fact that I’m being real with you.”  Fucking preach Monique!!!!  Candiace still does not get it.  “You’re sticking up for someone who had nothing but negative things to say about me.”  Monique is like, “You’re literally doing the same things she did last year!”  “Why don’t you go over there since ya’ll are good friends now?” Candiace says, being extremely petty.  “Don’t talk to me like I’m a child,” Monique says, walking away.  Candiace is still talking shit as Monique goes, and Monique stops and turns around and is like, “I will still drag you, pregnant and all!”  This sets Candiace off.  “Drag me, Monique! Drag me!” Monique makes some comment about throwing a bottle at Candiace’s head.  I’m dying.

Candiace feels judged, and Karen thinks that Candiace needs a friend at the moment. Karen thinks everyone’s been dramatic, and it’s not fair to call out Candiace when they’ve all had their moments.  Monique apologizes to Candiace for threatening to throw a bottle at her – she says she let her emotions get the best of her.  She’s just trying to be real with Candiace, and she doesn’t get why Candiace doesn’t’ see that.  Both girls are emotional, and Candiace tells Monique to get away from her.

Jesus! So much drama. Between everyone.  I truly do agree with Monique, 100%.  I think Candiace is struggling with the issues she’s having with her Mom, and that it is spilling over into all of her other relationships.

Are you Team Monique or Team Candiace? Do you think Michael is guilty?  Thoughts!?

Until next week…..