Pump Rules is back y’all! I’ve been so excited for this, and as far as first episodes go, this isn’t a bad season opener.

We first see Lisa – she talks to us about friendships, and how she thought they we’re so solid. We get a couple of clips of Jax fighting with Sandoval, and The Witches of WeHo arguing. Lisa then tells us that we have some newcomers, and they are bringing just as much drama as their predecessors. We get clips of the newbies fighting, and pretty much everyone bugging out. Then we begin.

We start out at TomTom – both Tom’s arrive in the sidecar. We learn that TomTom is thriving and has been open now for almost a year. Schwartz thinks it’s because they’ve hired such great workers. We meet Max, who is the general manager, and Dayna, who is either a hostess or a server – unsure which one. Schwartz says Max is the glue who holds everything together, and Dayna is so good at her job that she’s being trained by Lisa to work at Sur. We learn that Dayna has apparently hooked up with Max – last night. (I’m trying to give the newbies a chance but I just don’t care about Dayna or Max. I’ll try to be more open-minded, I promise!)

Over at Sur, we learn that Raquel is now a server. (Or is it surver? Whatever, LOL.) Brett is new too, and is also a server. Scheana is hanging all over him in typical Scheana fashion. She’s loving being the HBIC at Sur right now. Lisa is at Sur and asks Raquel how she’s doing. I’m dying when Raquel says that she feels like being in pageants really helps her as a server. Lmao – Lisa’s like, “That’s a new one.” Lisa also asks about James. Raquel says it’s triggering for him that she works there. Like obviously, Raquel. I think it’s super insensitive of her – but anything to be on the show, right?

Scheana introduces Brett to Jax. We learn that Jax is basically the only one working at Sur – Katie, Lala, Brittany & Ariana no longer work there. Jax teases Scheana and asks her if she’s dating Brett. Scheana’s like, “No, we just met!” But they have hooked up. Brett tells us in his confessional that they kissed – and it wasn’t what he expected. A producer asks, “Are you saying she’s a bad kisser?” And he says yes! What a total dick! We also find out that Scheana hasn’t spoken to Adam at all, but she did briefly date Max, the GM at TomTom – but he ghosted her.

Switching back to TomTom, we watch Max and Dayna have a super awkward convo about their hookup the night before. Sorry – don’t get the Max appeal here? He looks like a tool and also seems like a total fuckboy. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We go back over to Sur, and Scheana asks Jax about his upcoming wedding. He talks about how things have been really weird with Sandoval – he said Sandoval’s been ignoring him, and he “demoted” him to a groomsman because he knows he has a lot going on. Jax says it like he’s doing Sandoval a favor, but I don’t buy that for a second. Jax is annoyed with Sandoval and is now being petty. Switching back to TomTom, Sandoval feels like Jax is not coming from a good place by demoting him.

Stassi and Beau dine at TomTom. Stassi tells us how she is a NY Times Bestselling author (yay!) but she’s currently having a hard time because her grandmother just passed away. Poor Stassi, I feel so bad for her! Lisa greets her, and Beau goes to say hi to the guys while Lisa and Stassi chat. Lisa is proud of Stassi – though she can’t remember the name of her book, lmao. “She’s a bestselling bitch!” She asks about her friends, and Stassi confides in Lisa that she’s annoyed with Kristen. She says that Kristen has been talking about her Katie, because they’ve called her out for saying she’s broken up with Carter when they’re still living together, hanging out and sleeping together. She feels like Kristen is lying to her. Stassi thinks she may have outgrown Kristen and their friendship – she doesn’t feel like Kristen is growing as a person.

At Stassi and Beau’s, Stassi is writing her grandmothers eulogy, and is nervous about it. This somehow gets her in to talking about how at her funeral she wants it to be like a haunted house, and she also wants to be taxidermied so everyone can take selfies with her corpse. Lmaooooo, literally dead. I love that Beau just nods and goes along with her, and then tells us he finds it really creepy, but he just smiles. Stassi mentions that they’ll be missing Tom & Katie’s housewarming party because they’ll be at her grandmothers funeral. We know that Tom & Katie, Jax & Brittany, and Tom & Ariana have all moved to Valley Village, CA, and basically all have cookie cutter houses.

We go back and forth between all three couples in Valley Village. Tom tells Ariana how he was annoyed with Jax. Tom & Ariana buying a house together is a huge step for them and their relationship, because Ariana doesn’t care about getting married and does not want kids. Tom felt like Jax kept one-upping him about the house and “shitting all over it.” Ariana says that Jax “can’t help himself.”

Meanwhile, Jax is telling Brittany that him and Sandoval don’t really have that much in common anymore. “I’m getting married next month,” Jax says. Brittany says that she does wish Tom Sandoval would reach out to Jax more.

Tom & Katie are talking about their housewarming party and who is coming. Schwartz wants to make sure it’s okay with Kristen first before inviting Carter.

Back at Stassi’s, she tells us that Kristen is also moving to Valley Village, though it seems like her house may be further away from the other three couples. Stassi tells Beau she wants to see Kristen before they leave. She doesn’t care if Kristen is back with Carter, she just wants her to be honest about it.

Lala heads over to Villa Rosa to meet with Lisa. Lala is 7 months sober! (Yaaass girl!!!) Lala says she never wants to go back to the girl she was. She seems to be in a really good place. She tells Lisa that she did reach out to James, and she misses his friendship. You can tell Lisa feels for James, but she tells Lala, “he has to get sober.” They talk some more about how Lala would like to help volunteer at Vanderpump Dogs. (I would personally like to see Lala on RHOBH, but that’s just my opinon!)

Stassi heads over to Kristen’s apartment, and it’s obvious Kristen is upset. Stassi calls her out, and Kristen feels like if Stassi and Katie were truly her friends they would accept her situation without question. Stassi says she doesn’t care if she is with Carter, just to stop saying she is going through a break up if she’s not. Kristen is moving in a week, and she tells Stassi that Carter isn’t moving with her. (Stassi thanks the Breakup Gods, LOL.) Kristen tells us in her confessional that she did break up with Carter, but she can’t just “cut him completely off.” Sorry, I’m with Stassi on this one. That’s not a break up then. Stassi is happy to hear that Carter won’t be moving into Kristen’s new house, and they hug it out.

It’s the night of Tom & Katie’s Housewarming Party. (I’m dying at Schwartz in his mumu, lmao.) We meet Logan, who is also a server? Sorry, someone correct me if I’m wrong, please. Peter is there, and he pulls Dayna aside. I’m DEAD when we learn that Dayna is one of the chicks from the boys hotel party last season! Peter says he didn’t want things to be awkward between them, and Dayna’s like, “Why would they be?” Peter says they kissed in the bathroom, and Dayna denies it. Awkward AF. (I think Dayna did kiss Peter, but is denying it now because she likes Max. Just a thought.) Dayna is eyeing Scheana and Max suspiciously – she hears Scheana mention that Max is going to her Palm Springs house the following weekend, and is super jelly. What did you expect, girl? I’m shaking my head.  Jax asks Kristen where her boyfriend is, and she says, “He’s not my boyfriend.”  Cue Carter walking in, and greeting Kristen like a significant other.

Max and Brett are talking in the kitchen about Scheana.  Max totally downplays his relationship with Scheana (I mean, maybe it really wasn’t one) and Brett acts like he is annoyed by the fact Scheana “hangs all over him.”  Max calls her boy crazy.  Katie overhears all of this, and runs into the other room to tell Scheana.  Scheana confronts them, and is pissed.  “You’re the one who pursued me,” she tells Max.  She doesn’t get why Max is talking is about her – she thought that they were in a really good place and are like “best friends.”  Max totally doesn’t own anything he just said and immediately apologizes.  Scheana literally cries and is like, “I’m not boy crazy!” LMAO. Max and Scheana hug it out, while Dayna creepily watches and pouts.

Lala and Katie are chatting about Kristen and Carter.  Apparently, Kristen has been calling the girls super upset about her “breakup” with Carter.

Meanwhile, Max ends up pulling Dayna aside.  Because Dayna is now leaving TomTom to start working at Sur, he wants to hang out with her.  He has a thing about having a work romance.  (He didn’t want he banged her a few nights ago though, right?) Dayna asks if he anything is going on with Scheana – she admits she overheard that he’s going to her Palm Springs house.  Max says he is going, but not alone, and nothing is going on with Scheana.

Lala decides she is going to confront Carter.  She calls him out for all the shit he’s put Kristen though, and Carter comes back saying that Kristen still calls him all the time, and he just helped her earlier that day doing a photoshoot.  He said if Kristen wanted him fully gone, he would be gone. Kristen can see Carter and Lala from her spot inside the house, and is starting to freak out.

Jax and Sandoval finally talk. Sandoval tells him how he felt – that Jax was being a one-upper.  Jax brings up the wedding, and says he feels like Sandoval hasn’t reached out to him.  Lmao at Tom with the receipts.  He pulls out his cell phone and is like, “Jax, I’ve texted you!” Jax doesn’t really say much back to that.  Sandoval admits he was hurt he was demoted from Best Man, and Jax admits that he did that just to “get his attention.”  Jax basically re-asks Sandoval if he would be his Best Man, and Sandoval replies that he would be honored.  Then they hug it out.  (Lmao, I honestly really love this friendship, so I’m going to be upset if we find out they’re not friends any longer IRL.)

Kristen is pissed that Lala confronted Carter.  She goes off on her, and is super aggressive, calling her a bitch.  Lala is pissed and is like, “Baby girl, I’m here for you! Don’t talk to me like that.”  Lala feels like Kristen is treating her like she treats Stassi and Katie, which infuriates Kristen even more. This makes Katie intervene, and Katie honestly is a total bitch to Kristen.  She’s yelling literally in her ear, and it’s just unneccessary.  Brittany gets involved and tries to get everyone to talk it out and make up, but it’s not happening.  Kristen leaves crying.

We get a clip of what’s to come this season, and it looks absolutely wild.

Thoughts!?

Until next week!