RHOBH S10 E2: TO LIVE AND TEXT IN BEVERLY HILLS

 

I’m absolutely loving RHOBH Season 10 right now! I know it’s only the second episode but these ladies are giving me exactly what I want. So here for it.

We start out with Dorit & PK. We learn that they have moved into what Dorit claims is her “dream house.” Dorit addresses what the media says about her and PK’s financial situation, and that the truth is it just doesn’t fit the narrative that they’re poor.

Dorit says the house is in her name, and in her confessional a producer wants to know why it’s not in PK’s name as well. “What difference does it make?” Dorit asks. They open up about their financial situation, and it’s nice that they finally can and let the viewers in on a little more. I’m under the impression they couldn’t really share with us last year. I’m honestly really loving Dorit & PK right now. If you told me that two seasons ago I would say you’re lying.

Garcelle is with her friend, Ali Landry. She has also moved, and is showing Ali the house. She felt like she needed a change since her divorce. We learn that she has two 11 year old boys. (I’m unsure if she has full custody of them.) Garcelle feels like this change is good for her – Garcelle 2.0. I love it. She tells us that she divorced her husband because he was cheating. She asked to use his phone one day and saw a text that said “I love you.” When she confronted him about it, he admitted he was having an affair. FOR FIVE YEARS. Holy shit, that blew my mind. Garcelle is such a bad ass though – she sent an email to his friends and colleagues outing him. I love it.

Rinna and Teddi are out for a walk, and Rinna fills in Teddi on her daughter, Amelia. She had spoken to Amelia’s therapist and she’s not doing well. School and work is tough for her, and she’s been having anxiety and panic attacks. Amelia has been vocal about her anxiety on social media and when Rinna starts reading the post I honestly teared up. I feel for Amelia – I get what she’s going through, I’ve been there – Hell, I’m still there, and it sucks. Rinna feels in a way that she failed as a parent because of it, and I just want to hug her because that’s so not true.

Kyle and Sutton are still in NYC and they meet up for dinner. It’s a little awkward, honestly. We learn that Sutton is divorced. She’s also opening a boutique in 5 days in WeHo. Kyle can’t make the store opening. Sutton thinks they should do a trunk show, which Kyle is into. They talk about Yacht Rock – Kyle’s like, “What’s Yacht Rock? Should I know what that is?” Sutton responds, “Yeah, it’s rock music you listen to on a yacht.” Lmfao, like WTF?

We are at Denise’s. She’s back in Malibu, leasing a house. She fills in Aaron on the whole Charlie thing. There will be a hearing in November and Denise wants no part of it. It’s truly to protect the girls – she doesn’t want them to hear bad things about their father, because he’s still their father. She’s such a saint. We also learn that Denise has been in tremendous amounts of pain but hasn’t really said anything about it. She has a hernia and needs surgery.

Garcelle & Erika meet for breakfast/brunch at Sweet Butter. We learn that Garcelle also has another son, who is 28. She just found out he’s having a baby. Garcelle tells Erika she’s next and she’s like, “No!” I’m dying when she’s like “Do you want me picking up someone from Pre-K?” And we see that clip of when they’re in Tokyo (I think) and she death stares the bicyclist who almost runs her over. LMAO. I like the connection that Garcelle and Erika have. It’s not forced and they seem really chill with each other. Also dead when Garcelle tells us, “If I swam in the lady pond, it would be Erika’s pond.” 😂 They both talk about how they’re going to Sutton’s store opening, and they both don’t know her too well. They talk about Garcelle dating, and she said she needs to find someone who would be okay with the whole package since she has young kids. Erika gets it, and she says that Tom embraced her son warmly and she gets emotional. It’s obvious how much Erika loves and respects Tom. I have all the feels.

Teddi is having a retreat (for work) and decides to invite all the girls. Her text is a jumbled mess of words and the girls reaction to it kills me.

Teddi – you either want them to come or you don’t. Stop being wishy washy.

It’s the day of Denise’s surgery and she’s a nervous wreck. She says she wishes she could just flash forward into the future to know everything goes well.

We cut to Denise in a hotel and Aaron saying, “It worked, we’re in the future.” 😂 Poor Denise actually had 4 hernias and her surgery was much more invasive than she thought it was going to be.

Over at Erika and Tom’s, we learn that Erika got the part of Roxie in Chicago on Broadway!!!! Yay!!!! I am so beyond excited for her.

Tom tells her he is so proud of her, and she becomes super emotional. (I do, too.) His support means the world to her. Erika is truly giving me everything this season. I love it.

The girls are all getting ready for Sutton’s opening. Denise can’t come of course because of her surgery, and we know Kyle also won’t be there because she’s filming Halloween in North Carolina.

Lisa Rinna will forever be my favorite pot stirrer. Teddi & Rinna ride together to the opening. Rinna has a very busy week the following week and can’t make it to Teddi’s retreat. “I have to come clean,” Rinna tells Teddi. “I was a little sassy, I said I was relieved I didn’t have to go to your retreat.” Teddi says she doesn’t care, but I believe she does. She’s being weird about the whole thing, but Rinna is totally instigating her, too. I think after Rinna’s comment, Teddi feels like no one wants to go. But she doesn’t voice that, and I don’t even know if that’s true, just a guess.

We’re at the opening. I’m dying when Erika tells us that you don’t need to announce you’re wearing couture – it’s elitist. Sutton is so excited that the Mayor is here. “You’re the hottest Mayor ever!” Lmfao at the look Erika and Dorit exchange with each other.

Dorit tells Teddi that she’s coming to her retreat, but will be coming after lunch and has to leave at a certain time. Teddi is so triggered. “Truthfully I don’t care if you all come or don’t come.” Everyone is like, WTF? Sutton’s like, “I was coming, but why am I coming if you don’t care?” Dorit says she wants to go to support Teddi. Teddi is being super weird about the entire thing. She’s so rude, and I would usually go in harder on her for this but I’m giving her a pass because of pregnancy hormones.

I loved this episode! Next week looks interesting – dinner party at Kyle’s and we know Teddi gets upset about something. Also something weird looked like it was going on with Denise and Aaron. We shall see!

Until next week!

RHOBH S10 E1: THE CROWN ISN’T SO HEAVY

Beverly Hills is back! And from the looks of this first episode I believe (and hope, fingers crossed) that we’ll be in for a wild season.

We’re in NY, and we learn Erika is not only walking in Kyle’s show, but she’s in the VFiles show as well. (She’s such a bad ass.) We also learn that Denise & Aaron are currently residing in Malibu.

Kyle calls Dorit and begs for her help because she’s so stressed out over the show. I don’t blame Tracie, one of the assistants, for getting super annoyed with Kyle. She comes in like a tornado freaking out about the pieces they’re going to be displaying. Thank God for Dorit.

Dorit also tells us that her Beverly Beach lawsuit is over – they finally came to an agreement.

Erika, Denise, Teddi & Lisa Rinna all go out in the city. Erika brings them to Shakers in New Jersey, where she used to strip/dance.

Garcelle has arrived, and I’m loving her energy! She’s truly a breath of fresh air.

Garcelle, Denise and Teddi all head over to Monarch, and Erika meets up with them. The ladies all seem to be getting along really well.

We’re introduced to Sutton, who’s friends with Lisa Rinna. They’re going to some fitting – Dolce & Gabbana custom makes clothes for her or something.

I am dying at Lisa sitting in the throne, and when she tries on the crown. “It’s not that heavy.” 😂

Sutton comes out, and honestly I’m just like WTF is this look? I’m not one to make fun of other girls appearances, but Sutton in later scenes really bugs me with her judgements of the other girls, so I’m stooping to her level right now. Whatevs.

Denise, Garcelle, Teddi & Erika meet up for drinks. Teddi informs Denise that Charlie had been shit talking Denise in the press – he called her a coward. We learn that he doesn’t want to pay child support anymore. Erika calls Tom for legal advice, but Denise doesn’t want it. She brushes it aside and says she’ll deal with it when she gets back to LA.

It’s the night before the show, and all of the girls are meeting for dinner.

Sutton meets the girls, and I’m so appalled at how judgmental she is! She makes a comment about not knowing it was “disco themed”, she thinks Erika’s dress is too short, and she doesn’t care about celebrity designers when Dorit says she’s wearing Fenty. Like shut up Sutton, no one asked you.

I am excited, however, when Teddi announces she’s pregnant! Congratulations Teddi!!

It’s the day of the Fashion Show, and all the girls are getting ready. I’m LOLing because Tracie wants Kyle to stay away from her, but Kyle informs Tracie one of her daughters will be walking.

The show was a huge success. You think that’s the end of the episode, right? Wrong. So, so wrong.

Kyle tells us, “We we’re all so happy that day. It’s hard to imagine how terrible things would soon become.” We then get a flash across our screen:

We get a montage of stuff going down with Denise – it looks like Brandi Glanville is saying that she and Denise had hooked up, and Denise is denying it. I don’t know what the hell is happening, but I’m very curious to find out what’s up and what the truth is.

What’d you guys think of this episode!?

Until next week!

RHOBH THROWBACK: THE DINNER PARTY FROM HELL

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Do you guys remember when RHOBH used to be so good? I almost forgot until I re-watched The Dinner Party From Hell.  Pure Reality TV GOLD.  This is literally everything I want from my housewives – ridiculous, fun drama.  None of this Lucy Lucy Apple Juice stuff. These were the good old days.

Camille and Taylor are meeting up for lunch.  For those of you who don’t remember, this is Post-New York, where Kyle & Camille get into a huge argument.  Camille fills Taylor in on the fact that she plans to have a dinner party this upcoming Saturday, and she’s inviting all of the girls.  “I’m cautiously optimistic,” Camille tells Taylor.  She says that in addition to the girls coming, Camille is inviting her friend, Allison DuBois.  She explains to Taylor that Allison is a medium, and she has a show called Medium, which is about her life.  Camille tells us in her confessional that when Allison has too many cocktails, “she may hit below the belt.”  (We find that out soon enough.)

I truly miss Paul & Adrienne.  I loved them as a couple, they always made me laugh.  Paul is just yelling out for Adrienne, and then when we see him, he has a bandage on his nose.  Apparently he was wrestling with their son (who is 4) and got hurt.  Adrienne thinks Paul is being a huge baby.  LMAO.

Now we’re at Camille’s, who is calling the girls individually to invite them to dinner.  I’m dying when she calls LVP – apparently Lisa’s voicemail fucks with you?  But Lisa laughs in her confessional, so I couldn’t tell if she was messing with Camille or not.  Camille calls Kim and tells her to tell her sister – but also says she will call Kyle, too.  She does, and Kyle answers.  Kyle says that she has dinner already planned with a friend – would it be okay if her friend comes too? Camille says yes.

The night of the dinner, all of the girls are getting ready.  LVP is wary of Camille’s dinner party.  “Hopefully we can be civilized,” she tells us.  Kyle is getting ready, and fills in her stylist, who is surprised.  “Was she nice?” she asks.  “Very,” Kyle tells her. “She seemed genuine & sweet.”  We learn that Kyle is bringing Faye Resnick, a very good family friend. (I am so amped for this.)

Over at Camille’s, D.D., Camille’s assistant/best friend, is there.  D.D. wants to meet all the girls.  D.D. is surprised that Camille is even hosting this dinner, but is glad that it will be on her own turf.

Taylor, Adrienne and LVP all ride together, as do Kim, Kyle and Faye.

Over at Camille’s, Allison has arrived and Camille, D.D. and Allison are all chatting.

In the limo with Taylor, Adrienne and LVP, Taylor fills the other women in on the fact that Allison is a medium, and has a TV show based on her.

Back at Camille’s, Allison would like to do a toast.  “Cheers to old friends and new friends – and new friends who may end up being old friends. ” LMFAO, I am dying.  Clearly, Camille has an agenda with this dinner party, and Allison is an evil bitch.

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Taylor, Adrienne and LVP arrive first.  Allison looks the women up and down – clearly, she’s super judgmental.  She can’t wait to brag to LVP that Patricia Arquette plays her in Medium, and that she also profiles serial killers. Um, wrong person to brag to, Allison.  LVP is clearly not a murderino, LMAO.  Kyle, Kim and Faye show up next.  Kyle feels awkward, but is happy that everyone seems to be getting along.

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Everyone is drinking – they have a drink called the “Camille Cocktail”, which LVP describes as a “bowl of soup.” It’s huge, and the girls all say it’s super strong.  The drinks are flowing and everyone heads to the dining room and sits down at the table.  Allison just randomly starts talking out of her ass.  “It’s Saturday, we’re not supposed to be good.  We’re supposed to be bad in a controlled setting.”  Literally crickets – everyone’s just looking at each other like WTF?  Adrienne tells us in her confessional that she sat next to Allison and, “I thought she was strange.” Cut back to the table, and Allison is still rambling.  “I only have a brother, that’s why I like to hang out with Alpha Females.” Again, such a weird and random thing to say.  Adrienne breaks the silence by saying, “I think we should toast to that.”

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Camille turns her attention to Kyle.  “How do you know Faye? Who is Faye? Why does she look so familiar?” She asks.  “Faye’s a very close family friend – she’s like a sister,” Kyle tells Camille.  Camille stops and thinks for a second.  “You know how I know her? I saw her naked in Playboy.”  Kyle looks livid, and for a moment I think she’s going to fly across the table at Camille.  LVP thinks it’s an inappropriate thing for Camille to say to her dinner guest.  Camille goes on, “You looked great.”  In her confessional, Camille says that she realized during dinner who Faye was.  “The morally corrupt Faye Resnick.  That’s who it is.”  At the table, she continues and says, “I loved your spread.”  Kyle is so not here for this. “Camille, didn’t you do Playboy?” Camille did, but she “didn’t pose naked.”  She justifies it by saying she was in her early 20’s.  In her confessional she tells us, “I didn’t just come off of a big murder trial that involved my best friend.  I don’t understand those kinds of people and I don’t want to associate with it.”  Kyle, in her confessional, tells us, “Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, and she just threw a big boulder.”

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Tensions are high, and it’s already awkward enough without Allison pulling out her e-cig.  (She’s ahead of her time, LMAO.)  The girls are all impersonating her in their confessionals – Kyle compares her to Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

LVP is the first to bring up anything medium related.  She wants to know if Allison can feel people around them at the moment who have passed. Allison says she tells spirit to take a backseat, because everyone at the table is who she wants to focus on.  Camille is annoyed, and says that Allison is here as a guest, and doesn’t have to “perform.”  LVP keeps going – “Can’t you do something? Is my Grandmother here?” (LMAO.) “I hate to say it,” Allison says, annoyed, “But we’re having a girls night, and I’m off the clock.”  Kyle sticks up for Lisa and says, “We’re just curious.”  At this point, it’s obvious that Allison is sloshed, and Camille reaches for her cocktail to take it away from her.

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Kyle whispers to Faye at the end of the table, “She’s off the clock, so should I whip out my credit card and be like, ‘Can I ask you a question now?'” Faye decides to ask a question, and Allison replies, “Don’t tempt me.” Kyle is like, “What does that mean, ‘Don’t tempt me?'” Allison simply replies, “Don’t get me started.” Camille interjects and says that Allison may potentially say something the girls don’t want to hear – example, if a spouse was cheating.  Kyle asks, “Can you tell us something that’s not scary?” Allison is basically possessed by a demon at this point, and evilly says, “What I want to say to you might be irritating.”  Kyle snaps back, “I don’t care.” Allison takes that as an okay.  “Have you been married twice?”  Kyle confirms that she has.  “Oh, well that’s good.  I thought I was going to have to tell you that you were going to get divorced and get married again.”  Then she starts talking about Kyle’s husband, Mauricio.  “He will never emotionally fulfill you. Know that.”

The whole table is shook.  “As soon as the kids are bigger, you’ll have nothing in common.” Camille says that Kyle pushed for the reading.  Kyle is amused but pissed.  “Anything else?” She asks Allison.  “You’re guarded,” Allison replies.  “You talk to males more than you talk to females.” Kyle immediately shuts that down and says that’s not true.  Camille speaks up and says, “That’s me. I get along better with males because girls are very catty to me.” This comment gets everyone talking about the NY drama, which we hoped would be avoided.

Dinner Party

Camille insists that she didn’t tell Allison anything about NY – and Faye pipes up, saying she doesn’t believe that.  “If you’re as good as girlfriends as you say you are, she would’ve told you.  Kyle told me everything that happened in New York.” This pisses off Allison, who says,” You’re saying we’re not that good of girlfriends because she didn’t tell me?” To which Faye clap backs, “My psychic abilities tell me no.” I am DEAD.

Allison sticks up for Camille, saying she didn’t have to tell her, because she can fight her own battles.  Camille jumps in and asks, “Is that why you came Faye? To defend Kyle?” Kim is literally bugging out in her seat.  Faye says that’s not why she’s there, but also says, “There was an attack made on my friend.” In her confessional, Camille tells us, “Did I think it was a set up? Absolutely.” (LMAO – Camille, you set this up.  I’m dying.)

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They’re still rehashing and arguing about New York, and Kyle is getting pissed because Allison keeps chiming in, and she wasn’t even there.  She tells her to be quiet, and Allison just hurls insults at her. “You’re entirely washed up.” Like what? It’s insinuated that Allison is there to defend Camille, to which Camille says, “I invited Allison because it makes for interesting conversation.”  Kyle shoots back, “But she’s off the clock.  We’re not allowed to talk about it.”  Preach. Allison starts praising herself, which is super awkward.  LVP is disgusted by it all – she says that Allison, “The Sidekick”, was more provocative than anyone else at the table.

Faye and Allison begin to argue again.  Allison tells Faye to leave, and Faye tells Allison to leave in return.  “You have two legs, the last time we checked,” Allison snaps at Faye.  Adrienne is just mortified by this entire thing.

Kim

Out of the blue, Taylor and Kim start going at it, which doesn’t help anything.  Kyle’s like, “This is all bullshit to me!” And then Kim randomly yells at Taylor, “Go blow up your lips some more!” LMFAO like WTF? In her confessional, Taylor tells us, “The dinner table was a swirling tornado.”

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Taylor is the one to shut it down. “Enough!” She screams at everyone.  For whatever reason, this works, and the ladies all stand up to leave.  Kyle says, “I don’t get it, I’ve never had problems like this with anyone in my life.” Camille, who is still sitting, says, “I don’t have a problem with you Kyle.  Well, after New York you did call me a delusional bitch.” Camille also thinks Kyle is jealous of her, which I find humorous.  Jealous of what, exactly? They legit start to rehash the NY drama again and LVP is like, “We can’t go down that road again.”  Allison really wants to give her two cents again, and Kyle’s had it. They head out.

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At the table, it’s just Camile, D.D. and Allison.  “I can tell you when she will die and what will happen to her family,” Allison says. “I love that about me.” (I’m so creeped out.)

Kim and Taylor are still fighting in the hallway, and when they make their way outside Kyle gets pissed at Kim.  Kim’s like, “Why are you mad at me!?” And Kyle says that her fighting with Taylor wasn’t helping anything, and she also felt like Kim didn’t have her back at all.  LVP tells us, “It was a few clowns short of a circus.”

Back inside, Allison is still going on. “Kyle’s a little bitch.  Kyle is the girl at our high school who made someone kill themselves.” (Jesus Christ, that is so dark.) D.D. seems mortified by this statement. Camille is angry, but not at Allison. “She came into my home and verbally assaulted me,” Camille says about Kyle.  (That’s so dramatic, but sure, Jan.)

The girls leave – poor Kim; Kyle makes her take a limo by herself because her house is “out of the way”, so she leaves alone while all of the other girls ride back together.  Adrienne says that the night was horrifying.

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Switching back to Camille’s house, Allison hasn’t finished her rant yet. “Kyle is an angry bitch. Know that.” She insinuates that Mauricio cheats on her with the nanny, and Camille fuels the fire by saying “It’s more than just the nanny.” She takes it back, and says, “I’m not saying he’s cheating. I’m just saying he really likes women.” God, Camille and Allison are disgusting human beings. They also call Taylor a “Sacrificial Lamb” and D.D. tells Camille that Taylor isn’t her friend. Camille agrees.

Kyle, Taylor, Adrienne, LVP and Faye decide to go to The Beverly Hills Hotel for a drink.  We leave with poor Kim in the limo alone, calling Kyle, who is ignoring her calls.

And that, my friends, is the iconic Dinner Party From Hell.

Fun Fact: Allison DuBois still does readings, in case you ever want to get read by her. LMAO.

xo

PUMP RULES: S8 E1 – THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Pump Rules is back y’all! I’ve been so excited for this, and as far as first episodes go, this isn’t a bad season opener.

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We first see Lisa – she talks to us about friendships, and how she thought they we’re so solid. We get a couple of clips of Jax fighting with Sandoval, and The Witches of WeHo arguing. Lisa then tells us that we have some newcomers, and they are bringing just as much drama as their predecessors. We get clips of the newbies fighting, and pretty much everyone bugging out. Then we begin.

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We start out at TomTom – both Tom’s arrive in the sidecar. We learn that TomTom is thriving and has been open now for almost a year. Schwartz thinks it’s because they’ve hired such great workers. We meet Max, who is the general manager, and Dayna, who is either a hostess or a server – unsure which one. Schwartz says Max is the glue who holds everything together, and Dayna is so good at her job that she’s being trained by Lisa to work at Sur. We learn that Dayna has apparently hooked up with Max – last night. (I’m trying to give the newbies a chance but I just don’t care about Dayna or Max. I’ll try to be more open-minded, I promise!)

Over at Sur, we learn that Raquel is now a server. (Or is it surver? Whatever, LOL.) Brett is new too, and is also a server. Scheana is hanging all over him in typical Scheana fashion. She’s loving being the HBIC at Sur right now. Lisa is at Sur and asks Raquel how she’s doing. I’m dying when Raquel says that she feels like being in pageants really helps her as a server. Lmao – Lisa’s like, “That’s a new one.” Lisa also asks about James. Raquel says it’s triggering for him that she works there. Like obviously, Raquel. I think it’s super insensitive of her – but anything to be on the show, right?

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Scheana introduces Brett to Jax. We learn that Jax is basically the only one working at Sur – Katie, Lala, Brittany & Ariana no longer work there. Jax teases Scheana and asks her if she’s dating Brett. Scheana’s like, “No, we just met!” But they have hooked up. Brett tells us in his confessional that they kissed – and it wasn’t what he expected. A producer asks, “Are you saying she’s a bad kisser?” And he says yes! What a total dick! We also find out that Scheana hasn’t spoken to Adam at all, but she did briefly date Max, the GM at TomTom – but he ghosted her.

Switching back to TomTom, we watch Max and Dayna have a super awkward convo about their hookup the night before. Sorry – don’t get the Max appeal here? He looks like a tool and also seems like a total fuckboy. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We go back over to Sur, and Scheana asks Jax about his upcoming wedding. He talks about how things have been really weird with Sandoval – he said Sandoval’s been ignoring him, and he “demoted” him to a groomsman because he knows he has a lot going on. Jax says it like he’s doing Sandoval a favor, but I don’t buy that for a second. Jax is annoyed with Sandoval and is now being petty. Switching back to TomTom, Sandoval feels like Jax is not coming from a good place by demoting him.

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Stassi and Beau dine at TomTom. Stassi tells us how she is a NY Times Bestselling author (yay!) but she’s currently having a hard time because her grandmother just passed away. Poor Stassi, I feel so bad for her! Lisa greets her, and Beau goes to say hi to the guys while Lisa and Stassi chat. Lisa is proud of Stassi – though she can’t remember the name of her book, lmao. “She’s a bestselling bitch!” She asks about her friends, and Stassi confides in Lisa that she’s annoyed with Kristen. She says that Kristen has been talking about her Katie, because they’ve called her out for saying she’s broken up with Carter when they’re still living together, hanging out and sleeping together. She feels like Kristen is lying to her. Stassi thinks she may have outgrown Kristen and their friendship – she doesn’t feel like Kristen is growing as a person.

At Stassi and Beau’s, Stassi is writing her grandmothers eulogy, and is nervous about it. This somehow gets her in to talking about how at her funeral she wants it to be like a haunted house, and she also wants to be taxidermied so everyone can take selfies with her corpse. Lmaooooo, literally dead. I love that Beau just nods and goes along with her, and then tells us he finds it really creepy, but he just smiles. Stassi mentions that they’ll be missing Tom & Katie’s housewarming party because they’ll be at her grandmothers funeral. We know that Tom & Katie, Jax & Brittany, and Tom & Ariana have all moved to Valley Village, CA, and basically all have cookie cutter houses.

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We go back and forth between all three couples in Valley Village. Tom tells Ariana how he was annoyed with Jax. Tom & Ariana buying a house together is a huge step for them and their relationship, because Ariana doesn’t care about getting married and does not want kids. Tom felt like Jax kept one-upping him about the house and “shitting all over it.” Ariana says that Jax “can’t help himself.”

Meanwhile, Jax is telling Brittany that him and Sandoval don’t really have that much in common anymore. “I’m getting married next month,” Jax says. Brittany says that she does wish Tom Sandoval would reach out to Jax more.

Tom & Katie are talking about their housewarming party and who is coming. Schwartz wants to make sure it’s okay with Kristen first before inviting Carter.

Back at Stassi’s, she tells us that Kristen is also moving to Valley Village, though it seems like her house may be further away from the other three couples. Stassi tells Beau she wants to see Kristen before they leave. She doesn’t care if Kristen is back with Carter, she just wants her to be honest about it.

Lala heads over to Villa Rosa to meet with Lisa. Lala is 7 months sober! (Yaaass girl!!!) Lala says she never wants to go back to the girl she was. She seems to be in a really good place. She tells Lisa that she did reach out to James, and she misses his friendship. You can tell Lisa feels for James, but she tells Lala, “he has to get sober.” They talk some more about how Lala would like to help volunteer at Vanderpump Dogs. (I would personally like to see Lala on RHOBH, but that’s just my opinon!)

Stassi heads over to Kristen’s apartment, and it’s obvious Kristen is upset. Stassi calls her out, and Kristen feels like if Stassi and Katie were truly her friends they would accept her situation without question. Stassi says she doesn’t care if she is with Carter, just to stop saying she is going through a break up if she’s not. Kristen is moving in a week, and she tells Stassi that Carter isn’t moving with her. (Stassi thanks the Breakup Gods, LOL.) Kristen tells us in her confessional that she did break up with Carter, but she can’t just “cut him completely off.” Sorry, I’m with Stassi on this one. That’s not a break up then. Stassi is happy to hear that Carter won’t be moving into Kristen’s new house, and they hug it out.

It’s the night of Tom & Katie’s Housewarming Party. (I’m dying at Schwartz in his mumu, lmao.) We meet Logan, who is also a server? Sorry, someone correct me if I’m wrong, please. Peter is there, and he pulls Dayna aside. I’m DEAD when we learn that Dayna is one of the chicks from the boys hotel party last season! Peter says he didn’t want things to be awkward between them, and Dayna’s like, “Why would they be?” Peter says they kissed in the bathroom, and Dayna denies it. Awkward AF. (I think Dayna did kiss Peter, but is denying it now because she likes Max. Just a thought.) Dayna is eyeing Scheana and Max suspiciously – she hears Scheana mention that Max is going to her Palm Springs house the following weekend, and is super jelly. What did you expect, girl? I’m shaking my head.  Jax asks Kristen where her boyfriend is, and she says, “He’s not my boyfriend.”  Cue Carter walking in, and greeting Kristen like a significant other.

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Max and Brett are talking in the kitchen about Scheana.  Max totally downplays his relationship with Scheana (I mean, maybe it really wasn’t one) and Brett acts like he is annoyed by the fact Scheana “hangs all over him.”  Max calls her boy crazy.  Katie overhears all of this, and runs into the other room to tell Scheana.  Scheana confronts them, and is pissed.  “You’re the one who pursued me,” she tells Max.  She doesn’t get why Max is talking is about her – she thought that they were in a really good place and are like “best friends.”  Max totally doesn’t own anything he just said and immediately apologizes.  Scheana literally cries and is like, “I’m not boy crazy!” LMAO. Max and Scheana hug it out, while Dayna creepily watches and pouts.

Lala and Katie are chatting about Kristen and Carter.  Apparently, Kristen has been calling the girls super upset about her “breakup” with Carter.

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Meanwhile, Max ends up pulling Dayna aside.  Because Dayna is now leaving TomTom to start working at Sur, he wants to hang out with her.  He has a thing about having a work romance.  (He didn’t want he banged her a few nights ago though, right?) Dayna asks if he anything is going on with Scheana – she admits she overheard that he’s going to her Palm Springs house.  Max says he is going, but not alone, and nothing is going on with Scheana.

Lala decides she is going to confront Carter.  She calls him out for all the shit he’s put Kristen though, and Carter comes back saying that Kristen still calls him all the time, and he just helped her earlier that day doing a photoshoot.  He said if Kristen wanted him fully gone, he would be gone. Kristen can see Carter and Lala from her spot inside the house, and is starting to freak out.

Jax and Sandoval finally talk. Sandoval tells him how he felt – that Jax was being a one-upper.  Jax brings up the wedding, and says he feels like Sandoval hasn’t reached out to him.  Lmao at Tom with the receipts.  He pulls out his cell phone and is like, “Jax, I’ve texted you!” Jax doesn’t really say much back to that.  Sandoval admits he was hurt he was demoted from Best Man, and Jax admits that he did that just to “get his attention.”  Jax basically re-asks Sandoval if he would be his Best Man, and Sandoval replies that he would be honored.  Then they hug it out.  (Lmao, I honestly really love this friendship, so I’m going to be upset if we find out they’re not friends any longer IRL.)

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Kristen is pissed that Lala confronted Carter.  She goes off on her, and is super aggressive, calling her a bitch.  Lala is pissed and is like, “Baby girl, I’m here for you! Don’t talk to me like that.”  Lala feels like Kristen is treating her like she treats Stassi and Katie, which infuriates Kristen even more. This makes Katie intervene, and Katie honestly is a total bitch to Kristen.  She’s yelling literally in her ear, and it’s just unneccessary.  Brittany gets involved and tries to get everyone to talk it out and make up, but it’s not happening.  Kristen leaves crying.

We get a clip of what’s to come this season, and it looks absolutely wild.

Thoughts!?

Until next week!