RHOBH: THE SHOW MUST GO ON

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We start off at Camille’s – it’s one week until her wedding, and she’s trying on her wedding dress for the first time.  I absolutely love it, so perfect for a tropical wedding in Hawaii! She looks gorgeous.

We’re all around Beverly Hills now – LVP is showing off her new kitchen to John Sessa.  (Her new kitchen is phenomenal – but please get that thirsty ass dude off of my screen! I can’t stand John Sessa.  He’s on another level.)  Erika is doing an interview prior to her show later that night at The Globe.  Over at Dorit’s, she and PK are talking about the camping trip, and they’re annoying me.  “Nothing about us is RV Holidays.”  Like you guys didn’t go real camping.  You want to know what real camping is?  Sleeping in a tent that took you like seven hours to pitch, spiders and moths surrounding your tent so you freak out and sleep in the car, and then it torrentially downpours and you have to trudge a half a mile in the mud to the bathroom at 3:00 AM.  Try that for “camping” and get back to me.  EYE ROLL.

Kyle, Rinna and Teddi are working out – they’re running around Kyle’s property, and then they head to her home gym.  They need to work off the calories they ate while they were camping. (This is beyond annoying to me – you never even ate Kyle! Give me a break, lmao.)  The girls are half working out, half chatting.  They talk bout the camping trip, and Teddi and Camille’s mini feud gets brought up.  “She went from prostate, to calling me a know it all,” Teddi says.  “You know why she said it though?” Kyle asks.  “Because of the Boy George concert.”  Teddi doesn’t think she was being a know it all during that situation, she just was sticking up for her friend.  She also doesn’t think she was being a know it all during camping – why isn’t she allowed to have an opinion?  I said this last week, and I’ll say it again.  Sometimes Teddi carries on when she should drop it, but I really don’t think I would say she was a “know-it-all”.  That’s dramatic.  I also think she should be allowed to have an opinion during a group conversation.

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I love Aaron and Denise so much.  Denise is going to Florida for work for a few days (acting) and Aaron is basically holding fort.  Denise stops by Sami’s friends house, because Sami is going to the homecoming dance that night.  Denise gets emotional while saying goodbye because she hates that she’s missing seeing her off.  Denise is just so real and authentic with us, and I can’t get enough of her.  She’s such a great addition to the show.  I love her relationship with Aaron, and with her children.  They’re my favorites.

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It’s the night of the show, and the girls are all arriving to see Erika Jayne.  Rinna’s hair is literally giving me life – this look is absolutely fabulous.  I’m obsessed.

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Mid performance, the music cuts out, and Erika is fucking livid.  I don’t blame her.  She is such a badass though – I mean, she’s live, and like the title says, the show must go on.  She keeps going, and the music comes back.  She put on an amazing performance.

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After the show, the girls all go backstage to see her. We rarely get to see Tom and Erika together, and I loved this.  He’s so supportive, and she’s just beaming from his approval.  I love them.

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The girls are all drunk and silly.  Kyle gives Mauricio a lap dance, and then Edwin asks Teddi where his is.  Teddi says that she already gave him a lap dance yesterday, and he lasted two minutes.  Apparently, she gave him a lap dance to “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, which Kyle and Dorit think is hilarious.

The next day, Kyle and Teddi take Portia and Slate with them for Mani/Pedi’s.  They talk about Camille’s wedding, and Kyle is freaking out because she doesn’t have her bridesmaid dress yet.  Teddi goes over the itinerary for the trip, and Kyle is just like “What?” She makes a joke that Camille should be grateful that Teddi’s a “know-it-all” because she actually does know the itinerary down pat for her weekend.

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Meanwhile, LVP calls up Camille and invites her over for tea, and she accepts.  Camille really wants Lisa to go to her wedding, but doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable with the other ladies.  She asks her point blank if she’ll go, and Lisa declines.  She does apologize, but she just can’t be around the other women at this point.  Camille tells her that she gets it, but she wants to make it right between Lisa and the other ladies – especially Kyle. LVP is adamant that none of the girls are her friends.  “You don’t treat friends like that.  What do I have to do to prove I’m not lying, take a lie detector test?”

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Honestly, this scene annoyed me, because Camille is being super understanding to LVP’s face, but then she’s in her confessional saying a totally different thing.  “This is not the Lisa that I knew,” she tells us.  Camille feels as though Lisa is being a victim, and she’s never been one to play the victim.  According to Camille, LVP is acting like an immature girl hiding from the truth.  Ummm, that’s a little harsh, Camille.

Then we’re presented with a screen that reads: 24 HOURS LATER – and LVP is literally being hooked up to a lie detector test.  This is so fucking dramatic I can’t.  I mean, really?  I’m not even just saying this because I absolutely hate lie detector tests – they’re not real!  If they’re not admissible in court, they’re not accurate.  It’s just like, this is so over the top.

This was a total filler episode, but next week, we have Camille’s wedding.

Until then….

xo

RHOBH: GRILLING ME SOFTLY

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We’re back in Beverly Hills, but we’re not staying here for long – we’re going camping! (Except this is literally not camping at all, these bitches are basically staying in hotel rooms.  They should’ve said Glamping.)  But anyway.

We start off with all of the girls packing (well, over packing), but I truly have never related more to Rinna in my life when she’s like, “I want to be extra prepared.”  I totally get that.  I pack the same way, even if it’s just for a night.

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The girls are all meeting up at Teddi’s house, since she has the RV.  It’s initially pretty awkward between Kyle and Dorit, which is understandable given the events of last weeks episode.  We do learn that PK has texted Kyle, and she’s decided to let the whole thing go, but things are still weird between Kyle and Dorit.

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They load up the RV, and then they’re off. We stop at the grocery store first – have these women ever been to a grocery store before?  I’m LOLing at Rinna – “I love a market.”  It’s like mayhem; everyone is just grabbing things off the shelf and throwing it in the cart.  They spend $700 – you guys, you’re going for one night!!!  They arrive at camp and decide who’s going to be rooming with who.  I’m LOLing also at Erika – she looks at Rinna with her huge ass bag and is like, “What the fuck is in this bag?  A body?  Vanderpump?” Dead.

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After everyone settles in, Erika goes to get a massage (again, this is not “camping” – I’m sorry, I had no masseuse on hand when I went camping) and the rest of the girls play beer pong.  Dorit is literally the beer pong champ – who would’ve thought? The girls are all having fun though, and it’s a nice break to see.

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This is also not what my “tent” looked like while camping.  LOL.

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Teddi and Dorit win the beer pong game, and then the girls all sit down to chat/drink.  Denise asks Kyle if she regrets her conversation with Lisa and Ken.  She doesn’t regret it, but she does regret the outcome. Dorit chimes in, and says, “I don’t understand how it turned that she’s angry with me.”  Teddi replies, “She was originally angry at you, Dorit.  That’s what you’re missing.  It was a passive aggressive punishment.”  (Fact.)  Erika rejoins the group, back from her massage, and they fill her in on the conversation.  She basically could careless about LVP.  Dorit says LVP “drew a line in the sand” in regards to their friendship, and Erika basically shrugs.  “I care about the women at this table,” she tells us.  “If you wanna be an asshole, go be a fucking asshole.”  I couldn’t agree more Erika!

The next day, the girls all go “rock climbing.”  Nothing about this is interesting to me – except, did Camille just say she used to wear a strap on with Kelsey? The fuck!?

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Back at camp, they start grilling, and it’s literally a disaster. Camille has been making petty comments about Teddi this entire episode in her confessional, and she’s annoyed that Teddi said she was “fired” from grill duty.  Like Camille, grow up.  Once the food is ready, the girls all sit down to eat.  Denise leaves this time to get a massage, and the rest of the girls are eating and chatting.  Of course LVP is brought up.  Camille says that she wants her at her wedding, and Teddi tells her that she should actually call her if she wants her there.  Again, in Camille’s confessional, she says that Teddi is a “know-it-all” and that it’s “irritating.”  Why is Teddi not allowed to have an opinion on a group conversation?

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Denise is back, and they somehow get on the topic of massages having happy endings.  We learn that Denise has had one, and she said when she met Aaron he had never had one, so she took him to get one, and Rinna and Teddi’s face in the picture above is everyone’s literal reaction to this news.  I am dead, lmao.  I love when Erika chimes in and is like, “I don’t know any man who’s never fucked a hooker.  I mean, Tom never said he did, but he was a young man once.”  I am dying.

The girls are all sitting around the fire, and Denise and Dorit go off to get drinks.  Camille comments to Kyle that things between herself and Dorit seem better, and Kyle says that they are, and divulges the information that PK reached out to her.  I don’t agree with Camille calling Teddi a know-it-all, but I don’t think she should’ve said anything at this point about this particular situation.  “Things don’t fly out of your mouth that you’re not thinking.  I’m sorry.”  Rinna agrees with Teddi and says, “That’s true.”  Kyle pipes in, “He was drinking though,” to which Teddi responds, “It was deliberate, not malicious.”  Rinna, forever a shit stirrer, says, “Maybe it was malicious.  Who knows?”

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Dorit and Denise are back, and Dorit asks, “What’s malicious?”  When she learns they’re talking about PK, she is visibly frustrated, and  I don’t blame her.  Why are we rehashing this!? Like let’s drop it, it’s over and done with.  The girls move away from the fire and over to the picnic table, where their conversation continues.  Teddi admits that she thinks PK was trying to be a dick, basically, which hurts Dorit’s feelings.  I understand where Dorit is coming from, and I also feel like just because Teddi feels a certain way at times, doesn’t mean she always has to say it.  Sometimes it’s better to just keep your thoughts to yourself and keep peace within the group.

Camille is beyond annoyed at this point, and she’s coming for Teddi.  She’s being super condescending to her, but denies it.  “You said you know everything,” Camille tells Teddi.  Erika looks at them both, confused, and then asks Teddi, “Did you say you’re a know-it-all?”  Teddi is like, “I never said that.”  Camille replies, “I said that she was a know it all to Denise.”  They banter back and forth, and it’s honestly stupid.  Teddi calls out Camille for talking behind her back but never having the balls to say it to her face, and Camille’s like, “My face is right here.”  (Lmao, I cannot.)  Dorit’s feeling emotional between what happened with LVP and her prior conversation with Kyle a few nights earlier, and Kyle apologizes for that.  They seem fine, and Teddi and Camille drop their argument as well.  Camille just thinks Teddi inserts herself into conversations where she doesn’t belong.

The girls head to bed, and the next morning, they pack up and head home.  Erika invites them all to her show that’s at The Globe Theatre, and we exit the show with all of the girls singing, “Kumbaya” in the RV.

Not a crazy episode, but I enjoyed the girls getting along for the most part, and Erika Jayne eating pumpkin pie for breakfast literally gave me life.

Until next week….

xo

RHOBH: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HURT ME?

Another week, more drama here in Beverly Hills. I didn’t blog last weeks episode, but I did watch it & I took notes. Life just got too crazy. I’m sure everyone’s already caught up, but if not, we learn that LVP didn’t show up to Camille’s Bridal Shower, and then she claimed she wasn’t invited, which was not true – Kyle has the receipts to prove it. We also learn that Camille literally compares herself to Brett Kavanaugh and has zero compassion for women, while Lois (Lisa Rinna’s badass 90 year old mother) was almost murdered by the Trailside Killer. It was intense.

This week, we start out with Kyle & Teddi, and their daughters, Portia & Slate. They’re going to Petite & Pretty (I have no idea what this is?) to do a photo shoot? Kyle and Teddi are chatting while Portia and Slate are getting their makeup done. Oh, I forgot to mention, Camille asked Kyle to be a bridesmaid last episode, and she said yes. Kyle gets a text from Camille, and it’s a picture of the bridesmaid dress – a pretty, navy, capped sleeve dress. Kyle’s not happy – “A cap sleeve is not my friend.” (I hear that, Kyle. πŸ˜‚) They also talk about how Teddi has an RV, and the girls plan on going camping soon.

Over at Rinna’s, she’s FaceTiming with Erika, who’s on tour. She fills her in on LVP no showing to Camille’s Shower (EJ couldn’t make it because of the tour) and Erika replies, “The saga continues.”

Denise & Aaron are at the gym. (I love these two.) Denise fills Aaron in on how she plans on having lunch with LVP. She thinks a lot of miscommunication is going on, and she’s unsure if she should get involved or just stay the fuck out of it.

Dorit is at Kyle’s, and they’re talking about how they are planning on going to see Boy George at The Greek the following night. Kyle asks Dorit if she invited Lisa – she didn’t. Dorit feels like she should give Lisa space, since she clearly doesn’t want to talk to her right now. I mean, I get it. I wouldn’t have invited her either.

Meanwhile, LVP and Denise are having lunch together at Villa Blanca. Denise tells Lisa that the girls really do care about her, and Lisa says that her feelings are really hurt.

They cut back over to Kyle and Dorit – Kyle says that Denise was going to have lunch with LVP. Dorit thinks maybe Denise would be a good mediator, since she went through a lot of stuff with Charlie Sheen. “Did you just compare Lisa Vanderpump to Charlie Sheen?” Kyle asks. Then she adds,”They are both Virgos.”

Denise is trying to get Lisa to see her POV – she brings up what she went through when she was divorcing Charlie, and how she could’ve chosen to retreat but didn’t. LVP doesn’t want to hear it. “I can’t explain why I’ve chosen to retreat,” LVP tells Denise. Denise thinks it’s weird – if LVP didn’t do these things she’s being accused of, wouldn’t she want to repair the relationships and defend herself?

Kyle tells Dorit that friends call each other out. She says that Lisa always makes herself the victim and bolts whenever she hears something she doesn’t like.

Denise is still trying with LVP – she tells her, “Those women still love you.” LVP isn’t buying it. Denise extends an olive branch and invites LVP on the RV trip the girls are going on, but she declines.

It’s the night of The Boy George concert. This is the first time Camille has seen the ladies since the Kavanaugh argument. Camille feels as though Lisa Rinna was “extremely unfair” to her at dinner, but life is too short to hold a grudge.

Dorit learns that PK has talked to Ken, and they have plans to get lunch. PK doesn’t want to get into it all at the concert, so they drop it.

Teddi tells the girls she did reach out to LVP – she basically said that she knows that they’re not going to see eye to eye, but she wants them to just be able to move on and she wishes her well. She didn’t get a reply.

They briefly talk about LVP saying she wasn’t invited to Camille’s shower – and Camille pretending that she didn’t know Kyle did in fact invite her. Camille owns it, but Kyle is annoyed because she feels like Camille plays both sides of the fence.

The Ladies go backstage, and they get to meet Billy Idol, which Rinna is super excited about.

The girls (minus Denise – she had a family night at home with the girls and Aaron) all seem to be getting along and having fun at the concert. “Everybody’s getting along so well,” Camille observes. Lisa Rinna asks, “When’s the shoe gonna drop Camille?” Foreshadowing at its finest.

The concert is over, and everyone is hanging out backstage. Boy George is talking about how he called out someone in the audience for being on their phone, and Kyle says something along the lines of “I would be too scared to do that, people could kill you”, or something like that. PK chimes in, “You can’t even get on with your best friend, Kyle, so you could have issues.” Like wait, what?

Kyle is livid, and I honestly don’t blame her. PK’s comment is so random and completely caught me off guard. He seems totally annoyed with Kyle, which is odd. What would he be mad at Kyle about?

“PK, you’re in the same boat as me,” Kyle snaps back.

“Its a joke,” PK replies, with absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever.

Kyle says it’s not funny, and PK says it’s “British Humor” which honestly infuriates me.

“Kenny’s speaking to me,” PK also adds, which just sounds like he’s trying to irk Kyle.

“I’ve been defending you,” Kyle says. It sounds like she wants to add “because of the dog drama” but doesn’t. “I didn’t put you in this position, so when you say that, it’s an insult.” I totally agree with that.

Dorit is trying to defend PK but also have Kyle’s back, which isn’t working.

“You’re in the same boat as me,” Kyle repeats, annoyed. “I hate to burst your fucking bubble.”

PK isn’t backing down. “I’m not quite in the same boat as you.”

Lisa Rinna is finally like, “Let’s go.”

Kyle’s pissed, and Dorit is mad at PK. “I don’t care if it’s a joke, if you hurt someone’s feelings you say sorry.” PK literally doesn’t care at all, and refuses to talk about it any further.

The ladies all agree PK was a dick.

“Good luck trying to have sex with your wife tonight,” Kyle says as she stomps away. (Really Kyle? Good one. πŸ™„)

The ladies are now outside, getting ready to leave and hanging out outside the bus that brought them to the concert. Rinna thinks PK is trying to stir the pot. “One shit stirrer can call out another shit stirrer.” Lmao.

Kyle’s furious – but I can’t lie, I’m literally shocked when she says, “It’s all based on you and your wife giving up the fucking dog.”

Dorit comes out, and she tells Kyle that PK is comfortable with her, and that’s why he said what he said. (That makes no sense.)

Teddi chimes in, and Dorit literally loses her shit. She snaps at her that she just wants to have a conversation with Kyle for 30 seconds.

“The way that she just spoke to me is so inappropriate,” Teddi tells Kyle. Kyle tells her not to get upset, because it’s clear that she’s about to.

Camille, who never gets along with Dorit, is suddenly on her side, and tells us in a confessional that Teddi butts in too much and is a “know it all”. Really Camille? WTF?

Kyle tells Dorit that her fight with LVP is because of her and PK, which Dorit doesn’t want to hear. She says it’s about Kyle’s own personal experiences with LVP. “You’re wrong, Dorit,” Kyle says. “If I didn’t know the two of you, I would’ve defended her blindly like she wants me too.”

I get what Kyle is saying in a sense – she has stuck up for Dorit, which did cause a rift in her friendship with LVP. However, to blame it all on Dorit is kind of bullshit. You keep saying you need to be honest and tell the truth, so that’s what you’re doing, right Kyle? So it’s not really fair to blame Dorit for the fight.

We end the episode with Kyle saying, “Fuck you, PK. And that’s British humor.”

Thoughts on this week? I’m having a hard time putting my own thoughts into words, because I feel like I see everyone’s side. Something about Kyle is rubbing me the wrong way right now though. I can’t put my finger on it, but if I do, I’ll let you guys know.

Until next week…..

RHOBH: A WOLF IN CAMILLE’S CLOTHING

 

 

 

 

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We’re back where we left off – watching Kyle getting kicked out of Villa Rosa.  (Who knew that Goodbye Kyle would become such an iconic line!? LMAO.)

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Fast forward to 24 hours later, Kyle’s with most of the girls (minus Rinna & LVP) + Aaron (LOL).  Kyle is telling them what went down at Villa Rosa, and that she feels bad that she couldn’t say “Lisa Vanderpump would never do that.” (In reference to LVP leaking the Radar Online story about Dorit.)  Kyle wants to tell the truth and lay everything out on the table.  Camille feels like Lisa should’ve never said anything to TMZ; she should’ve walked away.  Kyle continues to fill the girls in – she says how upset Lisa became, and how Ken got involved, and then she was kicked out of their house. Everyone is shocked.  “That’s not friendship, that’s bullshit,” Erika tells the group.

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At Villa Rosa, Lisa and Ken are getting ready to have their kitchen redone, and Ken is rehashing what went down between his wife and Kyle also.  “She was after you,” Ken tells Lisa.  I’m still feeling for LVP this episode.  Her birthday was the week prior, and she has a birthday dinner planned at TomTom that night.  She didn’t want anything big – she felt like it wouldn’t feel right in lieu of her brothers death. Her kids gave her a locket for her birthday – inside there is a picture of Pandora, Max, Ken & Nanny Kay, which I thought was super sweet.

Lisa tells us that she’s taken a lot of crap from Kyle Richards over the years. We get a flashback of Kyle not remembering who Nanny Kay was.  (The producers are so shady, LMAO.)  LVP is definitely way more sensitive than people believe she is.

In regards to the kitchen, Lisa feels like there is a negative vibe (since it’s right where the fight went down) and she wants it gone.

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Kyle and Mauricio are on a date, and Kyle’s telling Mauricio that she hasn’t spoken to LVP, and she’s sad, and still loves her.

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We cut back over to Villa Rosa, and LVP is telling Ken – “I don’t want that kind of love!  Why would you love someone who you think is manipulative and preys on the weak?  I would detest them.”

We’re flashing back and forth between LVP & Ken and Kyle & Mauricio.  Mauricio is shocked at how Ken spoke to Kyle, he thinks it’s unacceptable.

Lisa addresses this with Ken, saying, “You were a bit strong with Kyle the other day.”  Ken replies, “I must admit, I was a bit strong.  But when she starts picking on you like that – I saw red.”

Mauricio tells Kyle, “You need to stand up for your friends, but at the end of the day you have to stay true to yourself.”  Kyle feels sad.

Meanwhile, while Kyle’s feeling sad, LVP is acting super passive-aggressive.  “I’m not gonna stand here and say what a fucking bitch she was – oh, just said it.” (Eye roll.) Lisa, you have a right to be mad.  Just own it.

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We’re at Dorit’s, and she’s telling Sadie (her assistant?) about PK’s diabetes, and I’m just like – can I please fast forward this? Like I almost got up to change my laundry during this scene, I don’t want to talk about this or hear about it.  Sorry, don’t care.  They’re making a smoothie that Dorit hopes PK will drink, and they can’t figure out how to use the blender.  Honestly, I wanted to make fun of Dorit and Sadie in this scene but I feel like I would be the same way.

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Denise, Rinna and Erika are trying Flying Yoga.  LOL @ Denise – “This is one of those weird LA classes.”

After the class, Rinna tells the girls to fill her in on what went down when they got drinks.  They tell her what happened and Rinna is shocked.  “This is a whole other level,” Rinna says.

Rinna is planning on throwing a get together for Denise because she just got married, but Erika can’t go because she’s going on tour.

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Over at Denise’s, she’s putting up cameras because she wants to catch her daughter, Sami, sneaking out of the house.  (LMAO.)  Denise and Aaron talk about what happened when they went for drinks the other night, and Aaron says that he felt bad for Kyle.  Denise doesn’t want to get on LVP’s bad side.  She’s been nothing but lovely to her, but, “if she did do this, she plays dirty.”  Aaron tells Denise to just, “Speak your truth.”

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I honestly tried to fast forward this scene and was unable to.  PK is literally Dorit’s third child.  They talk about how they’re not invited to LVP’s birthday.  Dorit’s confused because she “didn’t do anything wrong.”  (Seriously?  Yes you did.)

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Over at Beauty & Essex, Rinna and Teddi are the first to arrive.  Rinna tells Teddi that Denise is going to be coming a little bit later because she’s going to meet LVP first for her birthday.

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Rinna fills in Teddi on the latest drama – she apparently tweeted a birthday cupcake to LVP that had pills on it, and then texted her to tell her she meant no harm by it in case it got misconstrued.  Call me naΓ―ve, I believe Rinna right now.  Yes, we know LVP’s brother committed suicide, but do we know that he overdosed?  I don’t know that.  Lisa Rinna’s sister overdosed, she wouldn’t maliciously hurt LVP like that.  The pill thing has a been running joke with Rinna for years.  I truly don’t believe she was trying to intentionally  hurt LVP.

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It’s sad to see Kyle not a part of Lisa’s birthday celebration.  It’s weird.  Meanwhile, Denise arrives at TomTom at 6:30, and I’m beyond uncomfortable for her.  An hour goes by, then an hour and fifteen minutes – nothing.  Lisa shows up at 7:50, and then acts shocked when Denise gives her her present and says she can’t stay.  The plan was that they were going to have a drink together!  Denise is literally so sweet and chill.

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At Beauty & Essex, all of the girls have arrived except for Denise.  The ladies are talking about Camille’s wedding, and I think it’s so weird that Lisa Rinna is harping on the fact that Camille is inviting Dorit.  Like, she’s trying to keep the peace.

They talk about LVP’s birthday, and everyone is pissed that Denise got the invite but they did not.

Denise arrives, and I think it’s so nice that she didn’t really say anything about what happened.  She could’ve easily had come in saying how LVP was over an hour late and really stirred the pot, but she chose not to.  She didn’t indulge in the petty bullshit gossip. Dorit is still going on about her non-invite, and says, “Why is she upset with us?”  Rinna adds, “I don’t have any beef with her.”  Umm….WTF are you guys talking about!? Yes, you absolutely do.  I can’t.

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The ladies all cheer to Denise, and then to Camille as well.  Camille is drunk AF & is on a whole different level, shit talking everyone.

Next week is Camille’s shower.  I’m sure it will not be drama free – is anything ever drama free in Beverly Hills?

Until next week….

xo