RHOBH: THE PROOF HURTS

I can’t start this week without saying that I cannot believe we are 5 episodes in and still talking about Puppy Gate. But let’s just get to it.

We start out at Kyle’s, where everyone is packing because they’re getting ready to send Sophia off to school. (She’s going to college in DC.) We are already know Kyle’s feelings about Sophia leaving from previous episodes – she’s super emotional. They talk about their plans – they’re staying at a hotel for the weekend, helping Sophia get set up, and Farrah is meeting them in DC, too, which is really nice. Kyle tells us she really doesn’t like change. I feel that.

Denise & Rinna meet up at Malibu Lagoon. (Dying at Rinna’s shirt – can I please have one!?) They talk about The Bahamas, and Denise said she loves Erika. She also said she really liked LVP – she enjoyed the time they spent together when they were getting a massage. Rinna totally bites her tongue here and just goes with the flow. They don’t stay on the Bahama Drama long – Denise tells Rinna that Aaron’s divorce is finalized, and they’re planning on getting married. Lisa Rinna is super excited for her.

Over at The Kemsley’s, PK & Dorit are catching up. PK asks Dorit if she’s talked to LVP, to which she replies, “No.” He asks, “Not since The Bahamas?” Again, no. PK tells Dorit that LVP never called or texted him on his birthday, which isn’t like her. Dorit looks perplexed, and says that she and LVP need to “clear some things up.”

“I love her, but LVP is a genius at manipulation and control.” Those are some strong words from PK. He goes on to say, “It gets a little bit difficult for me when it’s my wife.” Dorit responds, “I would just like a little bit of honesty. If she tells me the truth we can work through it.”

I honestly find that ironic – you want the truth, yet you have yet to give us the truth in regards to Puppy Gate. Maybe LVP already knows the truth, but we, the viewers, do not. Again, the million dollar question we all want to know the answer to – why didn’t you give the dog back to Vanderpump Dogs? Or even, why didn’t you tell LVP you were giving the dog away prior to actually doing it? I’m sorry, this is so bizarre and doesn’t make sense. Wtf am I missing?

PK wants to know if there’s any scenario that Teddi is making it up, but Dorit doesn’t think so. PK states that someone is lying, and thinks that LVP owes Dorit an apology, because “she’s done nothing wrong.”

Except, Dorit did do something wrong. However, in this situation, LVP trying to set up Dorit is really fucked up. I’ve said this from Day One – if LVP was mad at Dorit, she would have every right to be, so why not just own it? This is honestly infuriating.

Teddi is at Erika’s (loving this friendship you guys!) and they’re rehashing Puppy Gate. (Side note: I would like a chapel in my home, and I love Erika’s leopard top. Anyway.) Erika tells us that going up against LVP shows strength, and she finds that admirable. Teddi starts from the beginning, so let’s just do this:

One month ago, Teddi & Dorit were not in a good place. Teddi tells Erika she saw Dorit out at events, and Dorit ignored her, but it was whatever. Teddi gets a call from Vanderpump Dogs, and is told all about the Lucy situation.

“This thing happened with the dog, and Lisa wanted you to know.”

Teddi admits she had a dramatic response to it, and says, “I was kind of in it.” She admits that she wanted the tea and asked for the details. “She fed me the information – I bit.”

Teddi goes on, “Lisa Vanderpump invited me and Kyle to Vanderpump Dogs-” Erika cuts in and asks, “For what?” Teddi replies, “They wanted me to say it and I couldn’t go through with it.”

“What did she want you to go through with?” – Erika

“Telling everybody what Dorit did.” – Teddi

“Oh God.” – Erika

Meanwhile, at Lisa Vanderpump’s, Lisa is meeting with John Blizzard. I am beyond annoyed by this entire scene. LVP literally runs through the events, but unlike Teddi’s confession, I am not buying hers. She’s trying too hard. She’s putting John Blizzard on this spot, and making sure that we’re all aware she “barely knows” him.

Back at Erika’s, Teddi is telling her, “Lisa’s in a tizzy, and saying ‘Don’t say anything’. That’s when I realized I had been set up.”

Erika tells us in her confessional that she didn’t think Teddi was as innocent as she portrays herself to be. We get a clip from the Reunion last season, where Erika tells Teddi she’s calculated. She tells us, “I think I was proven right.” She also tells us in her confessional, “It takes a lot to want to help take someone down.”

Teddi goes on to tell us that she’s not lying, and if she was lying, why would she implicate herself? She admits she was petty in the beginning and that she was originally involved. Erika reminds her that she has the proof, but Teddi thinks LVP will still find a way to flip this on her. And she’s absolutely right.

When we switch back over to LVP and John Blizzard, I truly feel like I’m watching a scripted scene. Lisa wants it to be clear that her words were misconstrued. She brings up the argument John Sessa and Ken had the night they found out Lucy was in the shelter, and I find it very convenient that LVP just happened to announce that she didn’t care who knew. John Blizzard then goes on to confirm that John Sessa said, “LVP doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter, tell whoever.” LVP states, “But then you implicate me.”

“I put words in your mouth that were not true and I will own that and I’m sorry for that.” – John Blizzard.

Oh my god, this is the biggest crock of shit I have literally ever heard. Give me a break! You honestly expect me to believe this? Why would John Blizzard lie to Teddi to begin with? He wouldn’t. He would literally not benefit from that in any way, shape or form. If anything, he would only hurt himself by going against her.

“Everyone at the center is upset that this is being flipped onto you,” he tells Lisa. I can’t even listen to this anymore, it’s unreal. Of course John Blizzard is going to back track now. He’s going to kiss LVP’s ass because she’s his boss, and this was planned all along, it just wasn’t supposed to come out.

A break from Puppy Gate – we’re at The George Washington University, where Sophia is going to school. I am dying at Mauricio, he’s killing me in these scenes. He looks around the around the dorm room and goes, “You have gorgeous windows.” Lmao @ Sophia – “It’s just a regular window.”

In BH, Lisa Rinna is getting ready to do a photo shoot for CVLUX Magazine. It’s a home and garden shoot, which Rinna finds amusing. “High fashion in the garden.”

In her confessional, Rinna tells us that LVP takes herself too seriously, and she needs to “own up to her mistakes.” Also, taking yourself too seriously ages you, according to Rinna. πŸ˜‚ I know people have a lot of feels on Rinna, but I really don’t care – I love her. She literally owns everything she’s ever done – you can’t take that away from her. She’s living her best life right now.

Teddi calls Kyle while she’s in DC to check on her. (Lmao @ Mauricio curling Kyle’s hair for her.) Kyle asks Teddi what she’s up to, and she fills her in on her conversation with Erika and how she’s feeling about LVP. Kyle wonders what LVP’s next move will be, and she also feels like she’s going to be forced to pick a side. She tells us that she’s just going to choose the truth. Preach, Kyle. I know I’ve had mixed feelings about Kyle in the past, but I’m Team Kyle again. I’m with her on this.

Teddi, Erika & Dorit meet up and go horseback riding. Then they have lunch and drinks at Viva Cantina, and they all just have girl talk and enjoy each other’s company. It’s nice.

The Umansky family is having dinner at The Occidental Grill. I am dead at Farrah – Mauricio asks, “You came two days and checked a bag?” Lmao @ Farrah – “Yup.” Same, girl. πŸ™‹πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

I honestly love this family. They’re so close, it’s so nice. ❀️

Denise and Aaron are having Date Night at The Sunset Restaurant. They’re talking about how his divorced is finalized, and how they want to get married. “The only free day we have is September 8th.” Denise is like, “You want to get married in 10 days?” And he’s like “Fuck yeah.” πŸ˜‚β€οΈ Lmao I love it. Also, I seriously love that he’s into numerology – if you add up the date, it equals 8, which symbolizes infinity. “He does have this thing with numbers,” Denise tells us in her confessional. LOL I love it, I live for this shit.

It’s the last day Kyle’s in DC, and they’re having breakfast at their hotel. Everyone is super emotional – why am I crying!? 😭 I feel for Sophia. I remember when I moved out of state when I was 19 – I was so nervous and anxious, despite being excited. I hate change, I cried the entire flight to Florida. Everything was fine, and Sophia will of course be okay, too. Moving is hard! And poor Portia! My heart broke when she was sobbing!

Dorit and Kyle are at LVP’s, because LVP wants to clear the air from The Bahamas. They sit down, and LVP starts off by saying that she felt she was accused of something she wasn’t guilty of.

Kyle looks super suspicious. LVP pulls out the printed texts between Teddi and John Blizzard.

“I can see what you’re saying, Teddi’s hands are not clean in this, but I don’t think it’s fair to put this on her when she wasn’t alone in the situation,” Kyle tells LVP. In her confessional, Kyle tells us that she knows all of this – she’s seen Teddi’s texts, and Teddi didn’t orchestrate this, despite her involvement.

“That’s absolute bullshit,” LVP snaps.

Kyle isn’t letting it go. She asks Dorit how she knew that Teddi knew, and Dorit says LVP told her. Kyle then asks LVP how she knew Teddi knew, and LVP says she didn’t know that Teddi knew at the time. That doesn’t make sense? πŸ€” LVP says she never had a discussion with Teddi or John Blizzard. Kyle’s basically like, “So who told you?” LVP isn’t giving an answer.

Dorit is realizing now that Teddi wasn’t as innocent in this scandal as she had originally believed. She’s definitely pissed, but she’s weary of LVP too.

And that concludes Episode 5.

Next week looks good – it looks like Teddi & LVP go head to head.

But – are we honestly going to talk about Puppy Gate all season? Cause I’m over this. And I definitely cannot watch 15 more episodes where we talk about it. I’m exhausted.

Until next week….

RHOBH: BAHAMA DRAMA

We’re back in the Bahamas, and we’re still talking about Puppy Gate.

Teddi feels manipulated, and Lisa is growing annoyed with Dorit. She feels like she’s gone out of her way to avoid talking about the dog, yet Dorit is siding with all of the girls over her.

The Girls all meet up in the morning. They’re having frozen drinks (that I’m honestly jealous of πŸ˜‚) before they all go off and do their own things for the day. Dorit, Rinna, Denise & Camille are going out on a boat and plan on snorkeling. Kyle and LVP are going to go shopping, and Erika & Teddi are going golfing together.

I’m loving Erika & Teddi getting along. Teddi is terrible at golf, but they’re having fun together.

On the boat, the girls are talking about the night before and Puppy Gate. Rinna asks Dorit how she’s feeling, and she replies, “Like I’ve been run over by a truck.” Denise joins in on the conversation and says that she is confused by the situation and doesn’t know the whole story. Dorit re-explains it, and Camille chimes in, saying she believes Lisa Vanderpump is upset because Dorit told her she gave the dog away after she did it. Dorit is adamant that LVP was not upset about that, but Camille is insistent that it’s a possibility.

This entire story is so sketchy. There is something more to it that we, the viewers, aren’t getting. Dorit is vague with her answer, and continues to be in real time about the million dollar question – why didn’t she give Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs? Why didn’t she tell Lisa she was going to give Lucy to another family before she did it? We honestly may never know.

LVP & Kyle are shopping at the Tropic of Luxury Boutique. Kyle keeps trying to bring up the conversation that happened the night before, but LVP keeps dismissing her attempts.

Meanwhile, Teddi is filling Erika in on everything. Erika tells Teddi, “This feels like a well orchestrated plan to pit two women against each other.”

Teddi tells Erika that the staff at Vanderpump Dogs told her about Lucy – and that she knows with 100% certainty that Lisa is the one who told them to tell her. Teddi also states that she has proof, but she doesn’t want to have to go there, and Erika tells her that she may have to. Unfortunately, Erika is right.

The girls on the boat are now snorkeling, and they’re disappointed because there is nothing to see in the ocean.

Kyle & LVP have lunch after shopping, and Kyle brings up last night again. She tells Lisa that Teddi feels “set up”, but Lisa adamantly denies that.

Back over on the golf course, Teddi tells Erika that she just wants LVP to own the fact that she orchestrated this. Erika is in total agreement with Teddi and I have to say, I’m super excited about this new friendship that is forming between them.

At the hotel, we catch LVP on the phone, and she’s calling John Sessa. She tells us that she feels John Sessa was out of order, but Sessa is pissed off at being called out. He tells Lisa that he’s her partner, not her employee. To be honest – this scene seemed super staged to me. I don’t believe John Sessa would speak to LVP like that, period.

Total side note: I’m LOVING Rinna & Kris Jenner in this super random clip/ad for Captain Marvel. I am dead. πŸ˜‚πŸ’€

Later that night, the girls are all getting ready to go to dinner together. LVP calls Teddi and asks her if she wants to meet up, so they can clear the air. Teddi agrees to come over.

Teddi calls her out – “You gave direct instructions to tell me.” LVP says that she didn’t. They’re both talking in circles, and I think Teddi is beginning to realize she’s not going to get what she wants out of this conversation with Lisa. Lisa tells her, “I want to clear this up with you.” To which Teddi retorts, “Then say you’re sorry that you put me in this situation.”

“I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but I did not tell my employees to tell you.”

Teddi whips her phone out so fast, and shows Lisa the text between herself and John Blizzard, where Teddi asks if Lisa told him to tell her, and Blizzard replies with a YES. LVP isn’t phased by this – she says she doesn’t even talk to John Blizzard.

Teddi is fuming at this point, and she gets up to find Dorit so she can tell her what’s going on. LVP is clearly shocked.

Teddi fills in Dorit, and then she turns to LVP. “You’re not confused in this situation.” She ends up storming out of Lisa & Dorit’s suite.

Dorit feels torn. LVP tells her exactly what was said, and Dorit asks, “Is it true?” LVP says it’s not true, and Dorit asks again. She says that if it’s true, she just wants Lisa to say it now. LVP says John Blizzard is just making stuff up and basically being a busy body. Dorit doesn’t know what to believe.

Dinner is awkward and uncomfortable. Everyone is trying to make forced small talk, and it’s obvious.

Rinna proposes a toast to Dorit for inviting them on such a lovely vacation. Dorit toasts with the group, however, she says that she’s had some “unpleasant moments” – referencing herself and LVP. Camille is playing peacemaker and says, “Well, hopefully you guys can work that out.” Lisa and Dorit just stare at each other.

Teddi tells us that she had a good day, but admits that the end of her day sucked. She tells us that she can be cordial but she’s not going to sugarcoat it and have small talk and pretend like everything is hunky dory because she’s not a fucking fake.

Dorit admits that she’s bothered too, and believes Teddi 100%.

LVP is literally livid watching this play out. She tells us in her confessional that Dorit stands for nothing. “Have some loyalty to your friend to that’s had your back for two years.” She goes on to say, “With friends like these….well, I think you know the rest.”

Rinna is loving every second of this, and I’m literally dying when she exclaims dramatically, “Why is this happening to Teddi Mellencamp!?” Lmaoooo. Legit dead.

Lisa has had enough. She gets up to leave, and the group acts so shocked by this. Lisa says that no one has acknowledged her all night, and she has an early flight, and she’s going back to her room. Dorit asks her not to leave, but she goes anyway. Kyle chases after her.

Dorit tells us that she would really like to believe LVP and have everything be normal, but she has to be true to herself. She needs a few moments to process it.

Kyle stops Lisa, and Lisa says that Teddi has known her for 5 minutes and is making her out to be some bitch. She tells Kyle, “You’ve known me a long time.” Kyle says that has nothing to do with it.

Back at the table, Rinna tells us she has empathy for Teddi because she’s been in her position before, and we get a flashback to 2015 when a similar situation occurred. (I completely forgot about this!!) I don’t remember the whole situation, but I do remember that Rinna felt set up by LVP, but LVP denied it.

Kyle returns, and it’s clear that she’s just as suspicious as the rest of the group, but being the closest one to LVP, she’s feeling caught in the middle. Teddi states that she is an honest person, and then she shows the group her proof, the text on her phone. Everyone is in an uproar because of this. (LOL @ Rinna – “BOOM!”) Rinna then tells Kyle that she needs to pipe in and tell Teddi that LVP doesn’t always tell the truth. Kyle hesitantly says, “I’m in a really bad position.”

The girls basically all come for Kyle, and she’s not having it. “I’m not responsible for Lisa Vanderpump’s actions!”

The group is all riled up at this point, and they’re basically all talking at once. Kyle pretty much says that everyone has good sides and bad sides, and “That’s a bad fucking side she has and she will never admit it.”

Camille, still the peacemaker of the group, feels like all the girls have been catty at one point or another, so they just need to move forward in their friendships because life’s too short to hold grudges.

Denise tells us, “My Spidey Senses tell me it’s not good to get on LVP’s bad side.” She’s not wrong.

In the hotel room, Lisa is trying to call Ken, but her call keeps failing. It’s hard not to feel some sort of sympathy for her in this scene, no matter what your thoughts are on the Puppy Gate Scandal.

The next morning, Kyle & Lisa are out super early. Kyle tells us that the rest of the group went out last night, and up until two hours ago she was taking shots. We see a clip of the girls all partying and having fun at a club. LVP wants to talk about the dinner the night before, and Kyle tells us, “I’ve slept two hours, I can’t hear about Lucy Goosey whatever that dogs name is.”

The rest of the group slept in, and they all meet up at Dorit’s suite for breakfast.

I love Denise – “These girls even dress up for breakfast, they’re lucky I put a bra on.” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Her authenticity is so refreshing. Love her.

The girls discuss the events of the night before, and LVP. Dorit tells us that she wants ownership from LVP & an apology from her. (Good luck with that.)

Back in Beverly Hills, Lisa is catching up with Ken and filling him in on how horrible her trip was. She’s emotional, and honestly, this part got to me. Ken tells Lisa he went to see John Blizzard, and had him print out his texts between himself and Teddi. Supposedly, Teddi is the one who said to bring the dog out at Vanderpump Dogs. Again, I have such mixed feelings about this, because it’s hard not to believe Lisa’s surprise is anything but genuine.

We’re left with another cliffhanger in the Puppy Gate Saga. πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ. I had a lot of feels watching this episode. If I had never seen RHOBH before, and if I didn’t know what was going on in real time (Teddi admitting she was in on Puppy Gate, but LVP double crossed her), I honestly would believe Lisa Vanderpump. Knowing what I know from prior seasons though, this is a pattern, ongoing since Season 1. LVP has always been The Queen of BH, and no one usually goes against her.

I think LVP severely underestimated Teddi. Last season, Teddi didn’t entirely fit in – she had a lot of drama with Dorit, and she fell to pieces when Erika yelled at her. It seemed like she only really got along with LVP, and I think LVP used that to her advantage, not giving Teddi enough credit. She definitely didn’t count on Teddi making stronger friendships this season, or really speaking up for herself.

So, if you’re asking if I think LVP is guilty of orchestrating the Puppy Gate Scandal – the answer is yes. Why? Because she was mad at Dorit & wanted to punish her without actually getting her hands dirty. End of story.

Until next week….

RHOBH: SUN & SHADE IN THE BAHAMAS

We’re in The Bahamas, at Baha Mar. What a gorgeous resort. The girls are all heading to their rooms, and they plan on meeting at Dorit’s suite later that night to have drinks on her balcony.

LVP is rooming with Dorit after all. They’re out on the balcony talking to each other, when Dorit asks, “Are you happy to be good friends with me?” Lisa loves to tease Dorit, and responds, “Yes, because right now I’m reaping the benefits.” Dorit doesn’t find this funny. She’s paranoid that LVP is holding a grudge about Puppy Gate (that’s what I’m calling this from now on) and I can’t say her paranoia is misplaced.

Teddi & Kyle are chatting in their room that they’re sharing. Teddi shares with Kyle that she’s getting along with Dorit better. Jagger & Cruise (Teddi & Dorit’s children) have bonded, and they’ve both set their own differences aside for their kids.

Back over on Dorit’s balcony, she tells us & Lisa that she’s so glad Lisa came on the trip, and she’s happy that they can connect. I do believe Dorit does feel terrible about Puppy Gate, and she just wants things to go back to normal with LVP.

Switching back over to Teddi & Kyle – they discuss the jabs LVP was throwing towards Dorit on the PJ, and how they believe Dorit’s feelings were hurt. Neither of them believe LVP is over Puppy Gate.

The Girls are all getting ready for drinks, and Rinna is the first to arrive at Dorit & LVP’s suite.

Can I just say I fucking love Denise? These bitches faces when she walks in her white tank & white shorts – so snobby! Except for Camille, who is such a sweetheart. (“I love your shorts!”) I’m LOLing when Denise tells us, “I packed the wrong shit, I learned that quickly.” I totally get where she’s coming from – you’re having drinks on a balcony with the girls. I would’ve worn cute pajamas, but that’s just me. πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

Kyle & LVP are talking off to the side, and LVP is emotional when she tells Kyle that she should make up with her sisters. We learn that Kyle & Kim are okay, but Kyle & Kathy are not. Rinna joins them, and LVP tells them both that Elvis, her butler, is going to bring his cat to her room. Kyle comments and says, “Maybe that’s why Dorit had an allergic reaction, is she allergic to cats?” (Side note: earlier in the episode, Dorit apparently had an allergic reaction to something, we don’t know what. She took Benadryl & was fine.) Lisa Vanderpump says, “I don’t know, we should find out.” Then fucking Kyle blurts out, “Maybe she’s allergic to dogs.” I literally yelled ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KYLE at the tv screen at this point. Cause that wasn’t premeditated at all! (Insert eye roll.) Rinna comments how it just got really quiet, and wants to know what’s going on. LVP is keeping quiet, but Kyle can’t let it go. “Are you still mad at her?” Kyle asks LVP, referring to Dorit. Rinna is completely in the dark, or at least she’s pretending to be. They end the conversation and join the other girls.

Kyle – WTF is your end game here?

The next morning, Kyle & Teddi are in their room and they’re talking about the night before. Kyle tells Teddi that “Dorit’s dog came up” and it’s like, yes, Lucy did come up – because of you. Rinna joins them, and then they both fill her in on the entire Puppy Gate scandal.

I honestly do get what Rinna was saying – I do believe LVP was trying to set up Teddi &/or Kyle. I think she’s still pissed at Dorit, and wanted a way to get this out there without having to dirty her own hands. The entire situation at Vanderpump Dogs the day Teddi & Kyle visited was bizarre. If LVP didn’t want it talked about, I guarantee you it wouldn’t have been brought up. I actually think LVP had John Blizzard tell Teddi via text, knowing she could use it against her later. However, I don’t think Kyle is innocent in all of this – she was intent on talking about it.

The girls boat off to some private island, and they’re all having a blast. LVP & Denise are getting massages and bonding over the fact that they both adopted children, which was a heartwarming moment. The rest of the girls are swimming and drinking and just having a good time.

Rinna really came to play this season. The girls all sit down for lunch, and Rinna tells the group that Dorit brought them all on the trip to address anything that needs to be addressed. (Stir that pot Lisa.) She wants the girls to go around the table and say who has an issue about what, etc. (Lmao, only Rinna.) She tells us, “It opens up conversations.” To which Camille replies, “Or it could open up Pandora’s Box.” Camille still goes along with it though, and she brings up the fact that she had issues with Dorit last year (does “Camille you’re a stupid cunt” ring a bell?) but she’s moved past that and she’s enjoying her time and thanks Dorit for inviting her.

Dorit brings up the issues she’s had with Teddi, and how they’re both working on moving past it and how their sons became fast friends.

Erika has nothing to say, she’s good, and then it’s over to LVP. She tells us it’s just nice to be amongst friends….but-”

If she’s being absolutely honest, she has to address the fact that Erika didn’t call her when her brother passed, she sent a sympathy card/note. This is beyond ridiculous. Erika & LVP are NOT friends. They work together and film a TV show together, and have the same group of friends. Erika was not obligated to call Lisa. A sympathy card 100% suffices. Erika is pissed at being called out, and rightfully so. She pretty much tells LVP off, and tells her to not try to make her out to be the bad guy. Lisa gets emotional, and she tells Erika she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. They do make up, and the awkwardness disappears.

Later that night, the girls are getting ready to go to dinner. Rinna stops by Erika’s room, and they talk about what went down at lunch. Erika says she doesn’t understand what happened at the table today, and Rinna agrees. Erika pulls out her phone and shows Rinna a picture of the card she gave to LVP. “Bitch, you come with receipts!” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

The girls are at dinner at Cleo’s, and they’re all chatting and enjoying each other. (We learn that Teddi was going to be named BabyDoll LMAO, & Kyle was supposed to be a boy, so she was named after a football player.) Rinna & Dorit get up to go to the bathroom, and Kyle takes this opportunity to confront LVP.

“I’m feeling really weird about all the side convos right now about the dog.”

Erika chimes in and immediately is like, “I don’t want to know this.” Teddi says that she & Kyle didn’t want to know it either. Teddi then asks LVP if Dorit knows that they know about the situation, and LVP tells her that Dorit knows that she knows, not Kyle. Teddi looks anxious & exasperated.

Rinna & Dorit are back from the bathroom, but the conversation doesn’t stop. Teddi says that she felt anxious, because she felt like she wasn’t truthful to Dorit.

Dorit clams up and says she doesn’t want to go to a bad place.

Teddi tells her side of the story – which is the truth. Everything she says is accurate – Teddi & Kyle were at Vanderpump Dogs, and John Blizzard and John Sessa brought out Lucy.

Dorit looks absolutely horrified. Rinna tells LVP that she should’ve shut it down, and LVP shoots back, “I have 400 employees, I can’t control what they all say and do.” (Bullshit.) In LVPs confessional, she tells us that the situation wouldn’t have happened at all if Dorit handled it properly. I agree with that 100%, however, I don’t believe LVP is as innocent as she’s pretending to be.

Dorit begins to re-explain herself, and at the end of table, Denise looks confused. “I don’t even know what these bitches are fighting about.” Lmao.

The girls are all arguing their own points, and then Rinna jumps in. She turns to LVP and says, “This wouldn’t get out there if you didn’t want it to. It’s a set up.”

I can’t say I disagree with Rinna on that. LVP tells Dorit that she doesn’t believe for a second she had any ill intent, however, the dog should’ve been returned to her from the get go. LVP is not wrong.

Dorit becomes upset, and Teddi, Kyle & Rinna comfort her, while LVP asks, “Why is Dorit upset?”

LVP also says that she had no idea Teddi would be gossiping about it, which is complete bullshit. Teddi’s had enough and she storms off, leaving us with a cliff hanger.

Honestly, I’m over talking about Puppy Gate and it’s only the 3rd episode. Do I think LVP is mad at Dorit and wants to punish her? Yes. Do I think LVP tried to use Teddi and Kyle as scapegoats? Yes. Do I think Kyle wanted to get this out in the open for whatever reason during this trip? Yes. Do I think Dorit was wrong for not just giving Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs to begin with? Yes.

However, this entire situation is so overly dramatic. I understand that Lisa is grieving, but this could’ve been shut down a long time ago. If LVP was mad at Dorit, which she clearly is, then just fucking own it! She would have every right to be mad at her. What Dorit did was wrong. Good intentions or not, Lucy still ended up at a shelter. But LVP insisted she wasn’t mad at Dorit, so in that case, stop talking about it.

What a shit show.

Next week, we see Ken has printed out texts between Teddi & John Blizzard (I think), and I’m just like shaking my head. Ken is such a chick, please give me a break.

God, this episode was utterly exhausting. My highlight was living vicariously through Erika Jayne and her 70 inch pony tail and fabulous Glam Squad.

Until next week…..

RHOBH: EAT YOUR HEART OUT

Not going to lie, I feel like this episode was totally a filler episode, which is honestly unacceptable this early on in the season. But I will say that I love Erika Jayne so much, and watching her gives me genuine joy. Anyway.

We start out with Kyle meeting LVP at Villa Rosa. They head out to Epione, where Lisa “rejuvenates her neck.” Honestly, this scene made me sad, because we know that in real time, Lisa & Kyle aren’t speaking. I feel like they truly do have a good friendship, it seems sincere to me & they always have fun together. They’re being silly; Lisa gets laughing gas before getting the fillers, and they’re just having a good time. It feels as though they’re totally good one on one, but can’t handle being friends with everyone else around.

Erika meets Rinna & Dorit for lunch. Erika orders a beer – whatever they have in a bottle, and Dorit loves this. She starts reminiscing on old times, where she did “keg handstands” when she was 16. (Isn’t it just called a keg stand? LOL.) Dorit fills Rinna in on the robbery – and somewhat of the Lucy situation. She tells Lisa that she can’t even talk about the dog situation. It’s clearly bothering her. Dorit also suggests a Girls Trip.

They talk about possible places they could go (Erika nonchalantly saying, “I think we have a place in Tahoe” is giving me life πŸ˜‚) and they end up settling on The Bahamas.

Over at Denise’s, we’re learning more about her and her family. She has three daughters, Sami, who we see in this scene, Lola, and Eloise. Sami and Lola’s Dad is Charlie Sheen, and Eloise, the youngest at age 7, was adopted. Denise actually addresses that there was a rumor that Eloise was Charlie’s daughter, that he had with a hooker. She says it’s untrue. They have a beautiful house on the beach in Malibu, and Denise’s boyfriend, Aaron, also lives with them. Denise and Aaron have been together for a year.

Denise asks Sami about Homecoming – Sami says she hasn’t been asked, but she’s going if she does get asked. Denise tells her she can’t date until she’s 16, and that her father would agree with her. Sami calls her dad (Charlie) right then and there to ask him, and I love his response that he would trust her judgment about who she would go with. Denise disagrees, but we don’t talk about the conversation any further.

At Dorit’s, we watch her telling PK that she is planning a Girls Trip, and is going to invite everyone. Yes, even Teddi! Dorit says that she wants to give Teddi a chance – their arguments have all been trivial, and she’s ready to move on. PK asks if she’s going to invite LVP, to which Dorit replies, “Of course.” It’s obvious Dorit is fretting about the Lucy situation – she tells us in her confessional that she just hopes Lisa knows that she had good intentions. She wants to move forward with that situation also.

I have to say, you guys, PK was kinda sorta growing on me in this scene. I know – like WTF!? I don’t know – he just seemed really supportive of Dorit & it was nice. I’m sure I’ll change my mind next week, but for now, I’m okay with PK. πŸ˜‚ (Please don’t roast me.)

Teddi & Rinna meet, and they’re going on a hike/walk. Teddi tells Lisa about a role she just played in a movie. She says that she wanted to be an actress when she was younger, but her manager told her she had to lose weight if she wanted to get a role, which crushed her. Hearing Teddi talk about her struggle with food was very relatable to me, and is probably relatable to a lot of people. Teddi said that “food was her best friend” – she was an emotional eater. I understand that feeling completely. Honestly, Teddi is inspiring to me. I feel like I need an accountability coach, and I wish I lived in LA so she could be mine. Also I give her so much credit for all of her hard work and determination. It’s so motivating. You go girl.

Kyle visits Mauricio at work, and she gets emotional when she talks about the fact that Sophia is leaving for college. Mauricio is really sweet – he reassures Kyle. I understand where Kyle’s coming from – I’m not a mom, but I think a lot also has to do with change. It’s hard.

At Rinna’s, she’s taking to her daughter Amelia, who has opened up about the fact she had an eating disorder. Amelia seems wise beyond her years to me. She addresses the disorder and says, “I’m not out of it. I’ll never be out of it.” Which is true of anyone who has an eating disorder, addiction, mental health issue – you can get through it, but it’s still something you battle for the rest of your life. Amelia is very strong and very mature, especially seeing that she’s only 17.

Lisa Rinna is having the girls over to do some baking/pastry making/I don’t really know what. LVP & Kyle aren’t coming – Kyle is doing a Tequila Tasting w/Mauricio (did I hear that right?) and Rinna says that Giggy is sick.

Cut to LVP & Ken – she meets him at the restaurant for lunch, and she tells us she’s just too emotional to go over to Rinna’s and put on a happy face when it’s just a facade. Totally understandable. Lisa tells Ken about the girls trip, and he thinks that Lisa should go. Lisa admits she could use the break but is worried about leaving, especially with Giggy being sick. We learn that Giggy needs a pace maker and my heart breaks. Poor little babe. Lisa also brings up Dorit, and tells Ken – “Sometimes Dorit calls it wrong.” She tells us in her confessional that she thinks Dorit handled the Lucy situation all wrong – but she loves her anyway. (Side note: If all of this is true, then why the hell are we still talking about!?)

Back at Rinna’s, the girls are all getting along and being silly. We learn that Aaron, Denise’s boyfriend, is currently still married to Nicolette Sheridan. She tells us that they’ve been separated for two years but their divorced isn’t finalized, and they’re getting married as soon as it is. We then learn that once upon a time Harry Hamlin was also married to Nicolette Sheridan. LMAO, did not know that. I’m not sure if Rinna says she cheated on him with Michael Bolton, but we all cheers to him, so that’s that.

The girls are all ready to go to The Bahamas – they’re off in the PJ. I actually really liked Dorit in this scene, she was so excited to be the one who planned the trip.

She tells LVP she wants to share a suite with her, and LVP says she’s not sharing a room with anyone. LVP is a tricky one sometimes. I honestly feel like this was Dorit extending an olive branch to her, and then they could be alone, off camera, and have a chance to talk and clear the air, and make things right between them again.

However, after LVP says she’s not sharing with anyone, she asks Kyle if she can stay in a three person suite with her. (Something along those lines, I might have the wording wrong.) Kyle then sticks up for Dorit, who looks hurt.

LVP says that Dorit snores, and I can’t tell if she’s just poking fun at Dorit and trying to be silly, or if she’s actually just being a bitch and this is her way of trying to get back at her.

Next week, shit looks like it’s about to go down. And I cannot wait.

Tell me all your thoughts! Leave me a comment.

Until next week….