RHOBH: BAHAMA DRAMA

We’re back in the Bahamas, and we’re still talking about Puppy Gate.

Teddi feels manipulated, and Lisa is growing annoyed with Dorit. She feels like she’s gone out of her way to avoid talking about the dog, yet Dorit is siding with all of the girls over her.

The Girls all meet up in the morning. They’re having frozen drinks (that I’m honestly jealous of 😂) before they all go off and do their own things for the day. Dorit, Rinna, Denise & Camille are going out on a boat and plan on snorkeling. Kyle and LVP are going to go shopping, and Erika & Teddi are going golfing together.

I’m loving Erika & Teddi getting along. Teddi is terrible at golf, but they’re having fun together.

On the boat, the girls are talking about the night before and Puppy Gate. Rinna asks Dorit how she’s feeling, and she replies, “Like I’ve been run over by a truck.” Denise joins in on the conversation and says that she is confused by the situation and doesn’t know the whole story. Dorit re-explains it, and Camille chimes in, saying she believes Lisa Vanderpump is upset because Dorit told her she gave the dog away after she did it. Dorit is adamant that LVP was not upset about that, but Camille is insistent that it’s a possibility.

This entire story is so sketchy. There is something more to it that we, the viewers, aren’t getting. Dorit is vague with her answer, and continues to be in real time about the million dollar question – why didn’t she give Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs? Why didn’t she tell Lisa she was going to give Lucy to another family before she did it? We honestly may never know.

LVP & Kyle are shopping at the Tropic of Luxury Boutique. Kyle keeps trying to bring up the conversation that happened the night before, but LVP keeps dismissing her attempts.

Meanwhile, Teddi is filling Erika in on everything. Erika tells Teddi, “This feels like a well orchestrated plan to pit two women against each other.”

Teddi tells Erika that the staff at Vanderpump Dogs told her about Lucy – and that she knows with 100% certainty that Lisa is the one who told them to tell her. Teddi also states that she has proof, but she doesn’t want to have to go there, and Erika tells her that she may have to. Unfortunately, Erika is right.

The girls on the boat are now snorkeling, and they’re disappointed because there is nothing to see in the ocean.

Kyle & LVP have lunch after shopping, and Kyle brings up last night again. She tells Lisa that Teddi feels “set up”, but Lisa adamantly denies that.

Back over on the golf course, Teddi tells Erika that she just wants LVP to own the fact that she orchestrated this. Erika is in total agreement with Teddi and I have to say, I’m super excited about this new friendship that is forming between them.

At the hotel, we catch LVP on the phone, and she’s calling John Sessa. She tells us that she feels John Sessa was out of order, but Sessa is pissed off at being called out. He tells Lisa that he’s her partner, not her employee. To be honest – this scene seemed super staged to me. I don’t believe John Sessa would speak to LVP like that, period.

Total side note: I’m LOVING Rinna & Kris Jenner in this super random clip/ad for Captain Marvel. I am dead. 😂💀

Later that night, the girls are all getting ready to go to dinner together. LVP calls Teddi and asks her if she wants to meet up, so they can clear the air. Teddi agrees to come over.

Teddi calls her out – “You gave direct instructions to tell me.” LVP says that she didn’t. They’re both talking in circles, and I think Teddi is beginning to realize she’s not going to get what she wants out of this conversation with Lisa. Lisa tells her, “I want to clear this up with you.” To which Teddi retorts, “Then say you’re sorry that you put me in this situation.”

“I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but I did not tell my employees to tell you.”

Teddi whips her phone out so fast, and shows Lisa the text between herself and John Blizzard, where Teddi asks if Lisa told him to tell her, and Blizzard replies with a YES. LVP isn’t phased by this – she says she doesn’t even talk to John Blizzard.

Teddi is fuming at this point, and she gets up to find Dorit so she can tell her what’s going on. LVP is clearly shocked.

Teddi fills in Dorit, and then she turns to LVP. “You’re not confused in this situation.” She ends up storming out of Lisa & Dorit’s suite.

Dorit feels torn. LVP tells her exactly what was said, and Dorit asks, “Is it true?” LVP says it’s not true, and Dorit asks again. She says that if it’s true, she just wants Lisa to say it now. LVP says John Blizzard is just making stuff up and basically being a busy body. Dorit doesn’t know what to believe.

Dinner is awkward and uncomfortable. Everyone is trying to make forced small talk, and it’s obvious.

Rinna proposes a toast to Dorit for inviting them on such a lovely vacation. Dorit toasts with the group, however, she says that she’s had some “unpleasant moments” – referencing herself and LVP. Camille is playing peacemaker and says, “Well, hopefully you guys can work that out.” Lisa and Dorit just stare at each other.

Teddi tells us that she had a good day, but admits that the end of her day sucked. She tells us that she can be cordial but she’s not going to sugarcoat it and have small talk and pretend like everything is hunky dory because she’s not a fucking fake.

Dorit admits that she’s bothered too, and believes Teddi 100%.

LVP is literally livid watching this play out. She tells us in her confessional that Dorit stands for nothing. “Have some loyalty to your friend to that’s had your back for two years.” She goes on to say, “With friends like these….well, I think you know the rest.”

Rinna is loving every second of this, and I’m literally dying when she exclaims dramatically, “Why is this happening to Teddi Mellencamp!?” Lmaoooo. Legit dead.

Lisa has had enough. She gets up to leave, and the group acts so shocked by this. Lisa says that no one has acknowledged her all night, and she has an early flight, and she’s going back to her room. Dorit asks her not to leave, but she goes anyway. Kyle chases after her.

Dorit tells us that she would really like to believe LVP and have everything be normal, but she has to be true to herself. She needs a few moments to process it.

Kyle stops Lisa, and Lisa says that Teddi has known her for 5 minutes and is making her out to be some bitch. She tells Kyle, “You’ve known me a long time.” Kyle says that has nothing to do with it.

Back at the table, Rinna tells us she has empathy for Teddi because she’s been in her position before, and we get a flashback to 2015 when a similar situation occurred. (I completely forgot about this!!) I don’t remember the whole situation, but I do remember that Rinna felt set up by LVP, but LVP denied it.

Kyle returns, and it’s clear that she’s just as suspicious as the rest of the group, but being the closest one to LVP, she’s feeling caught in the middle. Teddi states that she is an honest person, and then she shows the group her proof, the text on her phone. Everyone is in an uproar because of this. (LOL @ Rinna – “BOOM!”) Rinna then tells Kyle that she needs to pipe in and tell Teddi that LVP doesn’t always tell the truth. Kyle hesitantly says, “I’m in a really bad position.”

The girls basically all come for Kyle, and she’s not having it. “I’m not responsible for Lisa Vanderpump’s actions!”

The group is all riled up at this point, and they’re basically all talking at once. Kyle pretty much says that everyone has good sides and bad sides, and “That’s a bad fucking side she has and she will never admit it.”

Camille, still the peacemaker of the group, feels like all the girls have been catty at one point or another, so they just need to move forward in their friendships because life’s too short to hold grudges.

Denise tells us, “My Spidey Senses tell me it’s not good to get on LVP’s bad side.” She’s not wrong.

In the hotel room, Lisa is trying to call Ken, but her call keeps failing. It’s hard not to feel some sort of sympathy for her in this scene, no matter what your thoughts are on the Puppy Gate Scandal.

The next morning, Kyle & Lisa are out super early. Kyle tells us that the rest of the group went out last night, and up until two hours ago she was taking shots. We see a clip of the girls all partying and having fun at a club. LVP wants to talk about the dinner the night before, and Kyle tells us, “I’ve slept two hours, I can’t hear about Lucy Goosey whatever that dogs name is.”

The rest of the group slept in, and they all meet up at Dorit’s suite for breakfast.

I love Denise – “These girls even dress up for breakfast, they’re lucky I put a bra on.” 😂😂 Her authenticity is so refreshing. Love her.

The girls discuss the events of the night before, and LVP. Dorit tells us that she wants ownership from LVP & an apology from her. (Good luck with that.)

Back in Beverly Hills, Lisa is catching up with Ken and filling him in on how horrible her trip was. She’s emotional, and honestly, this part got to me. Ken tells Lisa he went to see John Blizzard, and had him print out his texts between himself and Teddi. Supposedly, Teddi is the one who said to bring the dog out at Vanderpump Dogs. Again, I have such mixed feelings about this, because it’s hard not to believe Lisa’s surprise is anything but genuine.

We’re left with another cliffhanger in the Puppy Gate Saga. 🙆🏼‍♀️. I had a lot of feels watching this episode. If I had never seen RHOBH before, and if I didn’t know what was going on in real time (Teddi admitting she was in on Puppy Gate, but LVP double crossed her), I honestly would believe Lisa Vanderpump. Knowing what I know from prior seasons though, this is a pattern, ongoing since Season 1. LVP has always been The Queen of BH, and no one usually goes against her.

I think LVP severely underestimated Teddi. Last season, Teddi didn’t entirely fit in – she had a lot of drama with Dorit, and she fell to pieces when Erika yelled at her. It seemed like she only really got along with LVP, and I think LVP used that to her advantage, not giving Teddi enough credit. She definitely didn’t count on Teddi making stronger friendships this season, or really speaking up for herself.

So, if you’re asking if I think LVP is guilty of orchestrating the Puppy Gate Scandal – the answer is yes. Why? Because she was mad at Dorit & wanted to punish her without actually getting her hands dirty. End of story.

Until next week….

RHOBH S9: LUCY LUCY APPLE JUICY

I’ve been waiting FOREVER for the lovely ladies of BH to grace their presence on my TV screen – and they’re finally back!

We start off with the most ominous music ever, and just a glimpse of a massive fight between Kyle & LVP. We see Ken scream at Kyle, and she storms out of their home.

If that’s not foreshadowing at its finest…

The next screen tells us: Two Months Earlier; and then the show begins.

We start off basically catching up with all the ladies. Kyle is having a pool party, and she’s sending out texts to all the girls. Her new home is finally completed, and she wants to throw a party so it feels like a home and not just a house. We also learn that Teddi has bought a new house as well, and she loves it. I feel like I’m loving Teddi already this season – she seems more confident and sure of herself this time around. I also find her to be so genuine, it’s refreshing.

Catching up with Lisa Rinna is always interesting. She’s going to a yoga class at Laughing Frog Yoga with her daughters, Delilah Belle & Amelia Gray. Not just regular yoga – goat yoga. So, so, bizarre. It’s a silly time over all, and Lisa enjoys the time spent with her daughters. Delilah Belle is planning on moving home from NYC – she’s been there a year, and she’s lonely. Lisa is very proud of her. I was surprised to learn that Delilah suffered/suffers from anxiety. I love an anxiety story that has a happy ending – clearly Delilah has come a long way.

Over at Villa Rosa, Lisa Vanderpump and Ken are talking about the passing of Lisa’s brother three months prior. This scene truly breaks my heart. Clearly, Lisa’s brothers death has had a huge impact on her, and she is still mourning. I can’t imagine what Lisa is feeling or has been through. I do like that Lisa brings up the fact that her brother did take his own life, and she addresses how other people say that it’s a selfish thing to do. I agree with Lisa wholeheartedly – it’s not selfish. If someone is desperate enough to take their own life, they are in so much pain and feel so hopeless. They don’t see another way out. I’m so emotional watching this, my heart just truly hurts for Lisa, and I’m sending her all of the love and prayers.

Kyle & Teddi meet up – we learn that Kyle is very close with Teddi. They’ve grown closer since last season, and they have an easygoing friendship that seems fun and lighthearted.

Dorit & Erika also meet up. (Who would’ve thought these two would have a friendship one day after all the shit that went down with Panty Gate?) Dorit informs Erika that she & PK’s House was recently robbed, and it really shook her up. Okay, I’m not trying to be an ass, because I can’t even imagine what being robbed would feel like, and that’s a terrible thing that happened to her, but the fact that Dorit felt like she needed to go to Utah after it happened and climbed a mountain made me LOL. I’m sorry, that’s so strange. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

At Vanderpump Dogs, Teddi arrives with her daughter, Slate, and Kyle arrives with her daughter, Portia. LVP arrives shortly after, and they’re chatting with John Sessa and John Blizzard, who are both employees of Lisa.

Immediately, Lisa makes a comment to Kyle about how she copied her car. Kyle shrugs it off, but it’s obvious to me right off the bat that there’s still so much tension between these two. Their relationship last season was definitely strained, and it seems like it has a weird, competitive edge to it now.

One of the John’s brings out a dog – Lucy – and he asks Kyle and Teddi, “You don’t recognize this one?” LVP tells him to stop, and Kyle & Teddi look confused as Lisa walks away. They follow, but they don’t let the conversation drop. Someone mentions that it’s Dorit’s dog, and Kyle asks if she’s getting groomed. John tells her, “No, she’s back with us again.” “It didn’t work out?” Kyle asks, to which LVP snaps, “I am not talking about this.”

Kyle looks confused, Teddi looks uncomfortable, and I’m just wondering WTF is going on at this point. Lisa finally says that Dorit adopted Lucy, and she ended up in a shelter. The shelter contacted LVP & they took Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs.

Meanwhile, at Erika’s, Dorit tells her about the Lucy situation. Lucy “wasn’t the right fit” for their family. Dorit said Lucy bit the kids a few times and “took a chunk out of PK’s face.” (I mean, based on the picture, that’s kind of dramatic.) Dorit apparently gave Lucy away, and then she got a call from Lisa saying Lucy ended up in a shelter. Dorit tells Erika she believed Lucy was going to a good home.

Back over at Vanderpump Dogs, everyone’s acting so odd and there’s a visible tension in the air. I’m wondering why anyone brought up the Lucy situation at all if no ones allowed to talk about it. Lisa is acting strangely, and she looks at Kyle and says, “Don’t look at me like that.” “I’m not looking at you like anything,” Kyle retorts. Teddi steps in, and she tells LVP that she feels like Dorit should’ve handled the situation differently, because Lisa is a good person and is understanding. Lisa replies, “In her mind, she thought she was going to a good home.” One of the John’s chimes in again, and he’s pissed. The entire Lucy ordeal has been a shit show, and makes Vanderpump Dogs look bad. Lisa still stands by her belief that Dorit did not just drop the dog off at a shelter. We then learn that Teddi already knew about this, but was sworn to secrecy by John Blizzard – apparently they’ve done charity events together and have become friendly.

The Lucy story has dropped, and LVP brings up the party they had for the opening of TomTom, and apologizes to Teddi that she didn’t get to talk to her that much. She looks to Kyle and says, “She came to my restaurant, I wish that you had come.” Kyle asks which restaurant, to which LVP replies, “The new one that I’m opening that you have never seen.” They show us a clip of the party at TomTom three weeks earlier. “I wanted you to come that night.” Lisa tells Kyle. This sets Kyle off. “Lisa, you are so full of shit right now, I am not going to do this. I’m not going to do this. I landed from a plane, it was four in the morning, and you said it’s not my party, I didn’t even invite anyone.” Apparently the party was hosted by The Daily Mail, not Lisa. Lisa starts to reply, but Kyle cuts her off. “You can be a bitch to me, but Dorit can drop off a dog and you’re like, she didn’t mean it.” Kyle angrily storms out of the room and goes to the front of the shop. During her confessional, Kyle tells us that she feels like LVP does things to make her look bad. Honestly, I kind of agree.

LVP isn’t done. “I’ve been working on that restaurant for over a year and you still haven’t seen it.” Kyle is so frustrated, she yells, “It wasn’t done yet!” Kyle storms away from her again, and Teddi tries to go after her but LVP stops her. Teddi tells LVP that she knows she messes with Kyle, but Kyle takes it seriously. Lisa gets super emotional, apologizes and hugs Kyle, and breaks down in tears. Kyle easily forgives her; clearly LVP is going through a very difficult time. I agree with Teddi – she thinks Lisa takes a lot of her frustrations out on Kyle. I definitely see that. However, both parties are not happy in their friendship at the moment. Kyle feels like Lisa expects too much from her, and I think Lisa expects more from Kyle. They’re totally not on the same page.

Rinna’s having the girls over – we meet Denise Richards, our new cast member, and we learn that Rinna & Denise have known each other basically forever. Erika and Dorit also come over, and meet Denise for the first time.

At Crustacean, LVP & Ken are dining with Dorit & PK. Lisa wants to clear the air about the Lucy situation. She starts by saying she knows that they didn’t have any ill intent, which annoys PK. He feels like it should just be a given that they didn’t have bad intentions with Lucy.

Dorit brings up the fact that she told Lisa about the lady she had given Lucy to the next day, and PK chimes in that it’s a mistake that could’ve happened to anyone. LVP is quick to retort that it’s actually not. I see Lisa’s point of view – they screen all of the homes that their dogs go to. I honestly don’t understand why they wouldn’t have just given Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs? Wouldn’t that have made the most sense? Lisa also tells Dorit that Teddi knows about it, because John Blizzard told her. Dorit now thinks Teddi is going around talking about it, which is so far from the truth. (I was yelling “Shut up, Dorit!” at my TV screen during this scene. Dorit can be infuriating.)

It’s the day of Kyle’s Pool Party! All of the ladies are here, including Camille, who I am so excited to see. Everyone is chatting and mingling and having a good time. Teddi’s son, Cruz, and Dorit’s son, Jagger, are becoming fast BFFs. It’s funny because their moms pretty much hate each other. (To be fair, Dorit is so over the top dramatic. Also – wtf is with that visor?)

Nothing crazy happens at the pool party. Kyle tells us she feels uncomfortable knowing about the Dorit situation, and she’s not going to bring it up. Teddi isn’t bringing it up either.

Rinna tries to ask LVP how she is, but LVP shuts her down real quick. In typical Rinna fashion, she’s not offended.

We end with the Pool Party wrapping up, and the ladies are all saying farewell to Kyle.

As far as first episodes go, I would say that this was a pretty good one. They’re typically boring, because we have to get caught up on what we’ve been missing, but while we did manage to do that, there was still an element of drama in their that has you wanting more.

I’m super excited for this season. What’d you guys think?

Until next week….