RHOBH: UN PETIT HANGOVER

What an episode!! I’ll admit, I’ve been totally bored with the BH ladies lately. I thought the Kyle/Teddi gang up on Erika was complete bullshit, and I’ve been sick of hearing about the ladies still talk about LVP. This episode hooked me right back in. I feel like the title needs an addendum – WHY THE LADIES TURNED ON CAMILLE AT THE REUNION. I had total Season 1 Camille vibes tonight. Let’s go!

We’re still in Provence. Teddi and Kyle wake up super hungover, and Teddi can’t really remember what happened the night before. She has no recollection of going after Erika.

Teddi and Kyle join Rinna for breakfast and they rehash the night. Teddi was crying the previous night, and Rinna was playing therapist. Teddi asks what happened between her and Erika, and Rinna fills her in. “You both said you didn’t think Erika has fun with you.” Kyle is totally nonchalant about this – she doesn’t think what she said is a big deal. Teddi is freaking out and feels terrible.

Erika is in her room, and Rinna goes to give her a heads up that Teddi and Kyle are going to try and talk to her today. They both feel bad about the night before, and I’m dying when Erika is like, “I’m sure they’re devastated.” 😂😂

They all do archery, which is awkward because no one has addressed anything yet.

When they’re done, Teddi pulls Erika aside and asks if they can talk. She apologizes and owns everything. She is sincere, and Erika sees that. She forgives her.

They go back out and meet up with the other girls, and Kyle confronts Erika with such a half ass apology. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings last night.” Erika is like, “You did my hurt feelings!” Erika considers Kyle a close friend and is disappointed in how she treated her. She tells her this, and she also tells her she thinks it was completely out of line. Kyle apologizes again, but it doesn’t come across as genuine to me. Erika says “Okay”, and then we move on.

Back in Beverly Hills, we’re getting ready for Dorit’s Beverly Beach launch, which will be displayed in Kitson’s Window. Dorit is excited but nervous. She also tells us that she recently named one of her cover ups “The Camille” after Camille. (Obviously.) She recently found out from Rinna that Camille has been talking about her behind her back, but seeing that Camille just lost her house because of the massive fires that are occurring around Malibu, she isn’t going to bring anything up.

All of the girls meet up for dinner that night – Kyle, Teddi, Rinna, Erika & Dorit haven’t seen Camille or Denise since the fires. Rinna and Teddi both brought them stuff, which was sweet. Camille arrives, and she’s immediately on another level. She tells them her life has been crazy – she had to evacuate her home, then her assistant passed away, and now her house burned down. She keeps saying she’s homeless, and it’s like – you’re not homeless Camille. Please don’t tell me your Summer homes aren’t real homes. I can’t. Of course I feel for anyone who loses their home – that’s devastating and I can’t even imagine being in that position. But Camille needs to remember that not everyone is as fortunate as she is. Not everyone has a summer home to fall back on. Camille says her daughter has been being a “total diva” and her business manager is out of the country for two weeks. She feels cursed and says her life sucks. She also starts to hate on her husband, and then she starts talking about how she went to some thrift store to buy a Burberry coat. (It still has dust on it!) Everyone is looking at her kinda like, wtf? I agree with Rinna 100% when she says, “Why would anyone have empathy for the wealthy?”

Denise chimes in, and basically says that they’re both very lucky to have the means and resources to start over. Thank you, Denise! 👏🏻👏🏻 Camille is super shady in her confessional and tells us that she doesn’t really think Denise understands what she’s going through. “Her rental didn’t burn down.” Ugh god, she is such a bitch.

Dorit and PK are heading over to Kitson to check on the window display. (I’m obsessed with Dorit’s outfit, in case anyone cares.) Dorit doesn’t like how it looks, so she goes in and fixes it herself.

Meanwhile, Teddi and Denise meet up and go shopping at Bash. They talk about France a little, and then Denise asks Teddi if Camille seems okay to her. Teddi feels like she can’t really answer that because they’re not that close. Denise thinks Camille needs to be more positive about the situation they’re currently in.

It’s the night of Dorit’s event. (Again, loving Dorit’s outfit!) The girls are all arriving, and I’m dying when Camille tells Dorit, “The more time I spend with you, the more I feel bad for anything I’ve said in the past.” Dead. 💀

They unveil the window, and everyone loves it. Someone says, “Genius!” And then we have a clip of Camille in her confessional saying, “Genius? Her reveal was a garbage bag.”

They all go to The Farmhouse for dinner to continue Dorit’s celebration. Erika and Kyle are totally fine – Erika has moved on and accepts her apology. Kyle invites all the girls to a party that she’s having for The Agency. Rinna looks at Dorit, and she’s like, “We’ve come a long way!” They truly have.

LVP gets brought up, and they establish that no one has seen her. Dorit is annoyed because Lisa has been invited to every event, she just doesn’t show up. They talk about how she didn’t show up to Camille’s bridal shower and wedding. “You let her off the hook,” Rinna says. (Stir that pot, Rinna.) “She should’ve come,” Camille states. “You shouldn’t have let her off the hook so easily,” Rinna replies, “but you did.” Denise is shocked Rinna is going here, because Camille gets upset for a moment. “I don’t think this is fair to her, she just lost her fucking house.” In her confessional she’s like, “Why are we talking about this right now?”

Rinna tells Camille that she had wanted to bring this up before, but then she lost her house so she couldn’t. Camille could’ve easily said she didn’t want to do this, but instead she replies and says, “Me losing my house is independent from this.” She says that if the ladies have an issue with her she wants to know. She’s pretty much asking for it, in my opinion.

Kyle says that what Camille said to the girls about LVP not attending her wedding and what she said in the magazine article were contradictory. Camille admits that she needs to say how she feels in the moment.

Fucking Teddi can never just let it go! 😂 She calls out Camille because she feels like she says one thing and then another. She doesn’t know what Camille says behind her back. Camille isn’t having this from Teddi – they briefly argue, and then Camille says, “I’m a flip flopper and you’re a know it all. I’ve been called worse.” (How shady are those editors those with all of those flashbacks!)

Dorit hesitantly brings up her issue with Camille. Rinna owns up to the fact that she told Dorit that Camille was talking about her, but she didn’t tell her what she actually said. Camille is blunt, to say the least. “I didn’t trust you,” Camille tells Dorit. “I didn’t know where you were getting all this money from.” In Camille’s confessional, she tells us, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Dorit asks what she’s talking about, and Camille says, “Your husband told me he filed for bankruptcy.” She goes on to say, “I just feel like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. You live beyond your means.” Naturally, Dorit is blindsided and livid. She tells her that yes, PK did file for bankruptcy in 2008, and that was eight years ago, it has nothing to do with where they are right now. Camille isn’t ready to let this go, though. “Your husband owes a lot of money to someone very close to me.”

Everyone is shook at this point. “Oh please!” Dorit squeals dramatically. Denise pipes in – “This is crossing a line.” Camille looks at Dorit and says, “You came after me!” Rinna chimes in and says that Camille didn’t say all of this before – she was very vague with her claims. And Rinna is also a very firm believer in never going after the husband.

Camille literally still isn’t done yet. “I know things for certain.” Her tone is menacing, and Dorit tells her, “Don’t you dare threaten me.” Camille replies, “I’m protecting you!” Dorit is disgusted. “You’re a little snake,” she says to Camille. Denise tells Camille to stop, but she just keeps at it. “Protecting her is not saying anything at all,” Denise says to Camille. Rinna tells the table, “This has to stop now.” Camille won’t stop, and Denise continues to be the voice of reason. I don’t remember who the first one to go is, but one of the girls gets up, and then they all do.

Everyone is out, and everyone is clearly just as shook as I am about Camille’s behavior. I’m sorry, wtf was that? Camille is fake as fuck. You act like Dorit’s best friend to her face, say you feel bad for stuff you said about her in the past, and then you air her dirty laundry? Season 1 Camille came out to play tonight. And she plays dirty.

What’d you guys think? Are you Team Dorit or Team Camille?

Until next week…..

25 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME – PART 2

I stopped at Number 13 in Part 1 of my blog post, so I’m back. 🤗

14. I’ve always been an avid reader

I’ve always loved to read. I think I was the only one in middle school who would be excited to have reading assignments. Looking back, I think James Patterson is the author who truly gave me a love for a good murder mystery. I remember reading Kiss the Girls and being so hooked. I loved all of the Alex Cross novels, too. I still love Patterson and murder mysteries and psychological thrillers are still my favorite. I like other genres, too. I’ll read pretty much anything. Some of my other favorite books are: The Great Gatsby, Valley of the Dolls, The Women’s Murder Club Series, Jane Eyre, Me Before You, Game of Thrones, Rebecca, The Last Mrs. Parrish…I could go on for a while.

15. Traveling is so fun – even if it’s just weekend trips.

Vegas 2017

Punta Cana 2016

Green Bay, WI 2017

Newport, RI 2017

NYC 2018

I love to travel, but I don’t get to nearly as much as I would like. I feel like every time I check a new place off of my travel bucket list, I add a new one on. I’ve been to Vegas twice (the second time around was much more enjoyable!), Canada, Punta Cana, Florida, California, NYC, Wisconsin….I know I already told you guys Nashville was my favorite. NYC is a lot. I think Boston is crazy, but NYC makes Boston look quiet. Vegas is a lot too – but not so crazy, depending on when you go. I loved Newport when I went, it’s so pretty and they have cute shops. I’d love to go back to Canada – I went for my senior trip in HS & I was 18 and it’s legal to drink in Montreal at 18, so that weekend is blurry AF. I also love North Conway, me & Saul go every year for my birthday. Maine is a favorite, too. Always a fun weekend trip. I’m super excited to go to The Bahamas, I’ve always wanted to go there. Other places on my bucket list: Bora Bora, Greece (Santorini to be exact), Italy, Norway, Ireland, South Carolina, LA, etc etc etc.

16. I prefer Quality over Quantity.

Me & Melissa, my cousin (sister 😋)

My brother, James, and my bff Jenalynn ❤️

My Mama is so cute

Uncle Saully & Baby Ellie (my heart 😍)

My Dad & My Brother at Foxwoods

Me, Jen & Talia

Me & Jessi

I literally cannot find a normal picture of me & Jack to save my life, so here we go 😂

I don’t have a ton of friends, but the friends I do have are the absolute best. Also, shout out to my work mom/BFF Kirty – we have no pictures!! But I love you so much. 😭❤️ I could go on and on about how much I love my family & my friends, but it would be repetitive. They know I love and appreciate them so much!

17. I’m a proud mental health advocate.

As someone who has suffered from anxiety and depression for half of her life, I am very much pro-therapy. I’ve been in and out of therapy (currently in) and it really is so helpful. Sometimes you get off track and you can’t get back on you by yourself. It’s okay to need help and to get it. I hate that there is still such a stigma surrounding mental health and mental illness. If you’re struggling, there is no shame in admitting it. There are people who act like admitting you need help or taking medication makes you weak – I completely disagree, I think it makes you strong. I have zero tolerance for ignorance when it comes to mental health/mental health shaming. I take medication, I talk to someone, and I struggle every single day yet I’m still here, and I’ll continue to fight this battle. Please remember that your mental illness doesn’t define you. And that although it may not feel like it in the moment, things will get better. Storms don’t last forever. Also, I’m adding this last one because it’s something I just realized myself – do not get frustrated/give up on therapy if you don’t see immediate results. Or if you have a few good weeks, and then you have a couple of down days – that’s okay. Working on yourself isn’t a quick fix. It takes hard work and it takes time. Don’t give up, keep going. You’ve got this.

18. Britney Spears is my spirit animal.

I think everyone knows this 😂 but it would feel weird to write facts about myself and not mention my love for Britney. I’ve loved Brit ever since I met her in 1999 at the Kiss 108 concert. She was the absolute sweetest and actually came back to take a picture with me because I didn’t get to be in the original photo. I saw her again in 8th grade – I got tickets to her Dream Within a Dream tour for my 13th birthday. I saw her in 2017 at her Piece of Me show in Vegas – it was literally so amazing, I can’t even put the feeling into words. (I cried when she came on stage, lmao.) I just love Brit. If I was a millionaire, I’d open a Britney Spears themed bar – Britney inspired cocktails and apps, all Britney music, Britney decor – 😍. How cool would that be!?

19. My favorite movies are chick flicks.

If you asked me what my favorite movie genre was, I’d tell you horror/thriller. But the more I think about that, the more I realize that’s not true. Yes, I enjoy horrors/thrillers, but literally all of my favorite movies are chick flicks. Mean Girls, Clueless, 13 Going on 30, Teen Witch, The Craft, Jawbreaker, Twilight – just to name a few. Some thrillers that I like – Final Destination, I Know What You Did Last Summer, What Lies Beneath, Scream – you know, the classics.

20. I love picking out baby names.

For someone who’s not pregnant and doesn’t plan on becoming pregnant anytime soon, I think about my future child/children’s names often. Me & Saul have talked about it, and we can’t agree on a boys name. We have agreed on some girls names, though. I won’t tell my favorite favorite names, but here are some I like a lot: Chance, Cruz, Grayson, Jace, Ariana, Maya, Everly & Lena, to name a few.

21. I would nap every single day if I could.

Napping is seriously my favorite. I prefer naps over actual sleeping at night. When I go to bed at night, I worry about all the shit I have to do the following day. When I nap, I feel so chill & carefree. At one point in life, in my early 20’s, I worked 8am-12pm. I was living in a luxury apartment at the time with my mom, who was basically living at her boyfriends, so I felt like I had my own place. The complex had a pool, so every day in the Summer I would get out of work at noon, go home (I lived 5 minutes from my job at this point) and lay poolside for two hours-ish, and then I’d nap from 3pm-7pm. Lmao I’m aware of how fucking ridiculous that is, but I miss those carefree days. Now I barely get a chance to nap on the weekend. (But you know I do when I can.)

22. I am the Queen of Birthdays.

2018 💓

20th Birthday with Melly – we were babies!

2013 – “Sorry, we forgot the birthday candles.” Lmao.

My 24th Birthday I think? @ Venetian Moon w/the girls 💜

I can’t believe I can’t find any birthday pictures with Saul, but they’re all uploaded on my laptop because they’re not on the this phone, and I’m not going on the laptop right now. (Sorry Saully!) Anyway, I’m obsessed with my birthday. I have never worked on my birthday and I never plan to. When I was younger I used to go wild on my birthdays – parties, bar hopping in Boston, Foxwoods trips – but as I’ve gotten older I’m much more low key. For the past few years Saul & I have gone to North Conway for my birthday and I absolutely love it. One year we stayed at Adventure Suites which was super cool. They have themed rooms – we stayed in the Love Shack which was so cute. I feel like North Conway on my birthday is a tradition now. Horsefeathers for Bloody Mary’s, Penny Lane Boutique & a trip to my favorite independent bookstore. Oh, and Vito Marcello’s for dinner. 🤗❤️

23. I believe in astrology.

I’ve always been a huge believer in astrology. I’m a Sagittarius, a fire sign, and I feel like I’ve always identified as one. Recently I’ve been digging deeper into astrology, and my astrological chart as a whole, and I’m fascinated. I’ve learned that I’m a Capricorn Moon, which was truly surprising to me. Capricorn is an Earth Sign, and I don’t know much about Earth Signs. Your moon sign signifies your feelings and inner thoughts, so I’m interested in learning more about it. I’ve also learned that despite being a fire sign, Earth is dominating my chart. That was surprising to me as well. I check my horoscope everyday (I use the Daily Horoscope app) and I also like the weekly horoscopes on The Cut. I feel like they usually resonate with me.

24. I love Podcasts.

Watch What Crappens w/Ronnie & Ben

My Favorite Murder w/Karen & Georgia

Two Judgey Girls w/Mary from the Bay & Courtney from LA

I loooove a good podcast, but my Top 3 are the ones I posted above. Watch What Crappens & Two Judgey Girls are Bravo related, and My Favorite Murder is, obviously, about murder. I love these duo’s – I listen while I’m in traffic during my morning/afternoon commute and I feel like I’m just hanging with my friends. Some other podcasts I’m into: Weekly Dose of B.S. (w/Brandi & Steph from RHOD), Martinis & Murder, Dr. Death, Dirty John, Casefile, Straight up w/Stassi (from VPR) and Everything Iconic w/Danny Pellegrino. If you’re into podcasts, check them out! And no, this is not an ad, lmao.

25. I’ve seen every episode of Law & Order SVU.

Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration – what I should have said is I’ve seen every episode of SVU with Stabler in it. I was in mourning for a little while after Elliot left the show, so I took an SVU break for a short time. Benson & Stabler are the most iconic duo on television of all time. I love that they’re actually close in real life, too. (Mariska is the god mother of one Chris’s children.) I love them. ❤️

And I’m done! Leave me a comment with some facts about yourself 🤗

RHOBH: BAHAMA DRAMA

We’re back in the Bahamas, and we’re still talking about Puppy Gate.

Teddi feels manipulated, and Lisa is growing annoyed with Dorit. She feels like she’s gone out of her way to avoid talking about the dog, yet Dorit is siding with all of the girls over her.

The Girls all meet up in the morning. They’re having frozen drinks (that I’m honestly jealous of 😂) before they all go off and do their own things for the day. Dorit, Rinna, Denise & Camille are going out on a boat and plan on snorkeling. Kyle and LVP are going to go shopping, and Erika & Teddi are going golfing together.

I’m loving Erika & Teddi getting along. Teddi is terrible at golf, but they’re having fun together.

On the boat, the girls are talking about the night before and Puppy Gate. Rinna asks Dorit how she’s feeling, and she replies, “Like I’ve been run over by a truck.” Denise joins in on the conversation and says that she is confused by the situation and doesn’t know the whole story. Dorit re-explains it, and Camille chimes in, saying she believes Lisa Vanderpump is upset because Dorit told her she gave the dog away after she did it. Dorit is adamant that LVP was not upset about that, but Camille is insistent that it’s a possibility.

This entire story is so sketchy. There is something more to it that we, the viewers, aren’t getting. Dorit is vague with her answer, and continues to be in real time about the million dollar question – why didn’t she give Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs? Why didn’t she tell Lisa she was going to give Lucy to another family before she did it? We honestly may never know.

LVP & Kyle are shopping at the Tropic of Luxury Boutique. Kyle keeps trying to bring up the conversation that happened the night before, but LVP keeps dismissing her attempts.

Meanwhile, Teddi is filling Erika in on everything. Erika tells Teddi, “This feels like a well orchestrated plan to pit two women against each other.”

Teddi tells Erika that the staff at Vanderpump Dogs told her about Lucy – and that she knows with 100% certainty that Lisa is the one who told them to tell her. Teddi also states that she has proof, but she doesn’t want to have to go there, and Erika tells her that she may have to. Unfortunately, Erika is right.

The girls on the boat are now snorkeling, and they’re disappointed because there is nothing to see in the ocean.

Kyle & LVP have lunch after shopping, and Kyle brings up last night again. She tells Lisa that Teddi feels “set up”, but Lisa adamantly denies that.

Back over on the golf course, Teddi tells Erika that she just wants LVP to own the fact that she orchestrated this. Erika is in total agreement with Teddi and I have to say, I’m super excited about this new friendship that is forming between them.

At the hotel, we catch LVP on the phone, and she’s calling John Sessa. She tells us that she feels John Sessa was out of order, but Sessa is pissed off at being called out. He tells Lisa that he’s her partner, not her employee. To be honest – this scene seemed super staged to me. I don’t believe John Sessa would speak to LVP like that, period.

Total side note: I’m LOVING Rinna & Kris Jenner in this super random clip/ad for Captain Marvel. I am dead. 😂💀

Later that night, the girls are all getting ready to go to dinner together. LVP calls Teddi and asks her if she wants to meet up, so they can clear the air. Teddi agrees to come over.

Teddi calls her out – “You gave direct instructions to tell me.” LVP says that she didn’t. They’re both talking in circles, and I think Teddi is beginning to realize she’s not going to get what she wants out of this conversation with Lisa. Lisa tells her, “I want to clear this up with you.” To which Teddi retorts, “Then say you’re sorry that you put me in this situation.”

“I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but I did not tell my employees to tell you.”

Teddi whips her phone out so fast, and shows Lisa the text between herself and John Blizzard, where Teddi asks if Lisa told him to tell her, and Blizzard replies with a YES. LVP isn’t phased by this – she says she doesn’t even talk to John Blizzard.

Teddi is fuming at this point, and she gets up to find Dorit so she can tell her what’s going on. LVP is clearly shocked.

Teddi fills in Dorit, and then she turns to LVP. “You’re not confused in this situation.” She ends up storming out of Lisa & Dorit’s suite.

Dorit feels torn. LVP tells her exactly what was said, and Dorit asks, “Is it true?” LVP says it’s not true, and Dorit asks again. She says that if it’s true, she just wants Lisa to say it now. LVP says John Blizzard is just making stuff up and basically being a busy body. Dorit doesn’t know what to believe.

Dinner is awkward and uncomfortable. Everyone is trying to make forced small talk, and it’s obvious.

Rinna proposes a toast to Dorit for inviting them on such a lovely vacation. Dorit toasts with the group, however, she says that she’s had some “unpleasant moments” – referencing herself and LVP. Camille is playing peacemaker and says, “Well, hopefully you guys can work that out.” Lisa and Dorit just stare at each other.

Teddi tells us that she had a good day, but admits that the end of her day sucked. She tells us that she can be cordial but she’s not going to sugarcoat it and have small talk and pretend like everything is hunky dory because she’s not a fucking fake.

Dorit admits that she’s bothered too, and believes Teddi 100%.

LVP is literally livid watching this play out. She tells us in her confessional that Dorit stands for nothing. “Have some loyalty to your friend to that’s had your back for two years.” She goes on to say, “With friends like these….well, I think you know the rest.”

Rinna is loving every second of this, and I’m literally dying when she exclaims dramatically, “Why is this happening to Teddi Mellencamp!?” Lmaoooo. Legit dead.

Lisa has had enough. She gets up to leave, and the group acts so shocked by this. Lisa says that no one has acknowledged her all night, and she has an early flight, and she’s going back to her room. Dorit asks her not to leave, but she goes anyway. Kyle chases after her.

Dorit tells us that she would really like to believe LVP and have everything be normal, but she has to be true to herself. She needs a few moments to process it.

Kyle stops Lisa, and Lisa says that Teddi has known her for 5 minutes and is making her out to be some bitch. She tells Kyle, “You’ve known me a long time.” Kyle says that has nothing to do with it.

Back at the table, Rinna tells us she has empathy for Teddi because she’s been in her position before, and we get a flashback to 2015 when a similar situation occurred. (I completely forgot about this!!) I don’t remember the whole situation, but I do remember that Rinna felt set up by LVP, but LVP denied it.

Kyle returns, and it’s clear that she’s just as suspicious as the rest of the group, but being the closest one to LVP, she’s feeling caught in the middle. Teddi states that she is an honest person, and then she shows the group her proof, the text on her phone. Everyone is in an uproar because of this. (LOL @ Rinna – “BOOM!”) Rinna then tells Kyle that she needs to pipe in and tell Teddi that LVP doesn’t always tell the truth. Kyle hesitantly says, “I’m in a really bad position.”

The girls basically all come for Kyle, and she’s not having it. “I’m not responsible for Lisa Vanderpump’s actions!”

The group is all riled up at this point, and they’re basically all talking at once. Kyle pretty much says that everyone has good sides and bad sides, and “That’s a bad fucking side she has and she will never admit it.”

Camille, still the peacemaker of the group, feels like all the girls have been catty at one point or another, so they just need to move forward in their friendships because life’s too short to hold grudges.

Denise tells us, “My Spidey Senses tell me it’s not good to get on LVP’s bad side.” She’s not wrong.

In the hotel room, Lisa is trying to call Ken, but her call keeps failing. It’s hard not to feel some sort of sympathy for her in this scene, no matter what your thoughts are on the Puppy Gate Scandal.

The next morning, Kyle & Lisa are out super early. Kyle tells us that the rest of the group went out last night, and up until two hours ago she was taking shots. We see a clip of the girls all partying and having fun at a club. LVP wants to talk about the dinner the night before, and Kyle tells us, “I’ve slept two hours, I can’t hear about Lucy Goosey whatever that dogs name is.”

The rest of the group slept in, and they all meet up at Dorit’s suite for breakfast.

I love Denise – “These girls even dress up for breakfast, they’re lucky I put a bra on.” 😂😂 Her authenticity is so refreshing. Love her.

The girls discuss the events of the night before, and LVP. Dorit tells us that she wants ownership from LVP & an apology from her. (Good luck with that.)

Back in Beverly Hills, Lisa is catching up with Ken and filling him in on how horrible her trip was. She’s emotional, and honestly, this part got to me. Ken tells Lisa he went to see John Blizzard, and had him print out his texts between himself and Teddi. Supposedly, Teddi is the one who said to bring the dog out at Vanderpump Dogs. Again, I have such mixed feelings about this, because it’s hard not to believe Lisa’s surprise is anything but genuine.

We’re left with another cliffhanger in the Puppy Gate Saga. 🙆🏼‍♀️. I had a lot of feels watching this episode. If I had never seen RHOBH before, and if I didn’t know what was going on in real time (Teddi admitting she was in on Puppy Gate, but LVP double crossed her), I honestly would believe Lisa Vanderpump. Knowing what I know from prior seasons though, this is a pattern, ongoing since Season 1. LVP has always been The Queen of BH, and no one usually goes against her.

I think LVP severely underestimated Teddi. Last season, Teddi didn’t entirely fit in – she had a lot of drama with Dorit, and she fell to pieces when Erika yelled at her. It seemed like she only really got along with LVP, and I think LVP used that to her advantage, not giving Teddi enough credit. She definitely didn’t count on Teddi making stronger friendships this season, or really speaking up for herself.

So, if you’re asking if I think LVP is guilty of orchestrating the Puppy Gate Scandal – the answer is yes. Why? Because she was mad at Dorit & wanted to punish her without actually getting her hands dirty. End of story.

Until next week….

RHOBH: SUN & SHADE IN THE BAHAMAS

We’re in The Bahamas, at Baha Mar. What a gorgeous resort. The girls are all heading to their rooms, and they plan on meeting at Dorit’s suite later that night to have drinks on her balcony.

LVP is rooming with Dorit after all. They’re out on the balcony talking to each other, when Dorit asks, “Are you happy to be good friends with me?” Lisa loves to tease Dorit, and responds, “Yes, because right now I’m reaping the benefits.” Dorit doesn’t find this funny. She’s paranoid that LVP is holding a grudge about Puppy Gate (that’s what I’m calling this from now on) and I can’t say her paranoia is misplaced.

Teddi & Kyle are chatting in their room that they’re sharing. Teddi shares with Kyle that she’s getting along with Dorit better. Jagger & Cruise (Teddi & Dorit’s children) have bonded, and they’ve both set their own differences aside for their kids.

Back over on Dorit’s balcony, she tells us & Lisa that she’s so glad Lisa came on the trip, and she’s happy that they can connect. I do believe Dorit does feel terrible about Puppy Gate, and she just wants things to go back to normal with LVP.

Switching back over to Teddi & Kyle – they discuss the jabs LVP was throwing towards Dorit on the PJ, and how they believe Dorit’s feelings were hurt. Neither of them believe LVP is over Puppy Gate.

The Girls are all getting ready for drinks, and Rinna is the first to arrive at Dorit & LVP’s suite.

Can I just say I fucking love Denise? These bitches faces when she walks in her white tank & white shorts – so snobby! Except for Camille, who is such a sweetheart. (“I love your shorts!”) I’m LOLing when Denise tells us, “I packed the wrong shit, I learned that quickly.” I totally get where she’s coming from – you’re having drinks on a balcony with the girls. I would’ve worn cute pajamas, but that’s just me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Kyle & LVP are talking off to the side, and LVP is emotional when she tells Kyle that she should make up with her sisters. We learn that Kyle & Kim are okay, but Kyle & Kathy are not. Rinna joins them, and LVP tells them both that Elvis, her butler, is going to bring his cat to her room. Kyle comments and says, “Maybe that’s why Dorit had an allergic reaction, is she allergic to cats?” (Side note: earlier in the episode, Dorit apparently had an allergic reaction to something, we don’t know what. She took Benadryl & was fine.) Lisa Vanderpump says, “I don’t know, we should find out.” Then fucking Kyle blurts out, “Maybe she’s allergic to dogs.” I literally yelled ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KYLE at the tv screen at this point. Cause that wasn’t premeditated at all! (Insert eye roll.) Rinna comments how it just got really quiet, and wants to know what’s going on. LVP is keeping quiet, but Kyle can’t let it go. “Are you still mad at her?” Kyle asks LVP, referring to Dorit. Rinna is completely in the dark, or at least she’s pretending to be. They end the conversation and join the other girls.

Kyle – WTF is your end game here?

The next morning, Kyle & Teddi are in their room and they’re talking about the night before. Kyle tells Teddi that “Dorit’s dog came up” and it’s like, yes, Lucy did come up – because of you. Rinna joins them, and then they both fill her in on the entire Puppy Gate scandal.

I honestly do get what Rinna was saying – I do believe LVP was trying to set up Teddi &/or Kyle. I think she’s still pissed at Dorit, and wanted a way to get this out there without having to dirty her own hands. The entire situation at Vanderpump Dogs the day Teddi & Kyle visited was bizarre. If LVP didn’t want it talked about, I guarantee you it wouldn’t have been brought up. I actually think LVP had John Blizzard tell Teddi via text, knowing she could use it against her later. However, I don’t think Kyle is innocent in all of this – she was intent on talking about it.

The girls boat off to some private island, and they’re all having a blast. LVP & Denise are getting massages and bonding over the fact that they both adopted children, which was a heartwarming moment. The rest of the girls are swimming and drinking and just having a good time.

Rinna really came to play this season. The girls all sit down for lunch, and Rinna tells the group that Dorit brought them all on the trip to address anything that needs to be addressed. (Stir that pot Lisa.) She wants the girls to go around the table and say who has an issue about what, etc. (Lmao, only Rinna.) She tells us, “It opens up conversations.” To which Camille replies, “Or it could open up Pandora’s Box.” Camille still goes along with it though, and she brings up the fact that she had issues with Dorit last year (does “Camille you’re a stupid cunt” ring a bell?) but she’s moved past that and she’s enjoying her time and thanks Dorit for inviting her.

Dorit brings up the issues she’s had with Teddi, and how they’re both working on moving past it and how their sons became fast friends.

Erika has nothing to say, she’s good, and then it’s over to LVP. She tells us it’s just nice to be amongst friends….but-”

If she’s being absolutely honest, she has to address the fact that Erika didn’t call her when her brother passed, she sent a sympathy card/note. This is beyond ridiculous. Erika & LVP are NOT friends. They work together and film a TV show together, and have the same group of friends. Erika was not obligated to call Lisa. A sympathy card 100% suffices. Erika is pissed at being called out, and rightfully so. She pretty much tells LVP off, and tells her to not try to make her out to be the bad guy. Lisa gets emotional, and she tells Erika she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. They do make up, and the awkwardness disappears.

Later that night, the girls are getting ready to go to dinner. Rinna stops by Erika’s room, and they talk about what went down at lunch. Erika says she doesn’t understand what happened at the table today, and Rinna agrees. Erika pulls out her phone and shows Rinna a picture of the card she gave to LVP. “Bitch, you come with receipts!” 😂😂

The girls are at dinner at Cleo’s, and they’re all chatting and enjoying each other. (We learn that Teddi was going to be named BabyDoll LMAO, & Kyle was supposed to be a boy, so she was named after a football player.) Rinna & Dorit get up to go to the bathroom, and Kyle takes this opportunity to confront LVP.

“I’m feeling really weird about all the side convos right now about the dog.”

Erika chimes in and immediately is like, “I don’t want to know this.” Teddi says that she & Kyle didn’t want to know it either. Teddi then asks LVP if Dorit knows that they know about the situation, and LVP tells her that Dorit knows that she knows, not Kyle. Teddi looks anxious & exasperated.

Rinna & Dorit are back from the bathroom, but the conversation doesn’t stop. Teddi says that she felt anxious, because she felt like she wasn’t truthful to Dorit.

Dorit clams up and says she doesn’t want to go to a bad place.

Teddi tells her side of the story – which is the truth. Everything she says is accurate – Teddi & Kyle were at Vanderpump Dogs, and John Blizzard and John Sessa brought out Lucy.

Dorit looks absolutely horrified. Rinna tells LVP that she should’ve shut it down, and LVP shoots back, “I have 400 employees, I can’t control what they all say and do.” (Bullshit.) In LVPs confessional, she tells us that the situation wouldn’t have happened at all if Dorit handled it properly. I agree with that 100%, however, I don’t believe LVP is as innocent as she’s pretending to be.

Dorit begins to re-explain herself, and at the end of table, Denise looks confused. “I don’t even know what these bitches are fighting about.” Lmao.

The girls are all arguing their own points, and then Rinna jumps in. She turns to LVP and says, “This wouldn’t get out there if you didn’t want it to. It’s a set up.”

I can’t say I disagree with Rinna on that. LVP tells Dorit that she doesn’t believe for a second she had any ill intent, however, the dog should’ve been returned to her from the get go. LVP is not wrong.

Dorit becomes upset, and Teddi, Kyle & Rinna comfort her, while LVP asks, “Why is Dorit upset?”

LVP also says that she had no idea Teddi would be gossiping about it, which is complete bullshit. Teddi’s had enough and she storms off, leaving us with a cliff hanger.

Honestly, I’m over talking about Puppy Gate and it’s only the 3rd episode. Do I think LVP is mad at Dorit and wants to punish her? Yes. Do I think LVP tried to use Teddi and Kyle as scapegoats? Yes. Do I think Kyle wanted to get this out in the open for whatever reason during this trip? Yes. Do I think Dorit was wrong for not just giving Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs to begin with? Yes.

However, this entire situation is so overly dramatic. I understand that Lisa is grieving, but this could’ve been shut down a long time ago. If LVP was mad at Dorit, which she clearly is, then just fucking own it! She would have every right to be mad at her. What Dorit did was wrong. Good intentions or not, Lucy still ended up at a shelter. But LVP insisted she wasn’t mad at Dorit, so in that case, stop talking about it.

What a shit show.

Next week, we see Ken has printed out texts between Teddi & John Blizzard (I think), and I’m just like shaking my head. Ken is such a chick, please give me a break.

God, this episode was utterly exhausting. My highlight was living vicariously through Erika Jayne and her 70 inch pony tail and fabulous Glam Squad.

Until next week…..