RHOP: DAYS OF OUR KNIVES

What a messy episode! 🔪

We pick back up where we left off – Candiace going crazy at Ashley, and Chris pulls her away and tries to calm her down. Karen also goes over and tries to help Candiace chill out a little bit, too.

Ashley is playing dumb, acting like she didn’t say something to purposely set Candiace off. “I’ve never seen someone act like this,” she tells the girls. Oh please. 🙄

Instead of trying to diffuse the situation, Gizelle uses this an opportunity to bring up the whole d**k sucking thing from earlier. “There was an issue we discussed earlier,” Gizelle nonchalantly states. She then starts to kind of tell Ashley what happened – and then completely throws Robyn under the bus and is like, “I’ll let Robyn take it from here.” 😂💀

Robyn tells Ashley exactly what is said, and Ashley is pissed. She wants to know who Michael supposedly said that about. “One of our men, and we’re not gonna say who,” Robyn replies. Interesting….so Robyn knows who Michael was talking about. In my personal opinion, I think it was Juan. Anyway.

Chris has somewhat managed to calm Ashley down, but he’s pissed off that his food is burning. Lmao. The convo is still going – Monique thinks that it is her business if Michael was talking about one of their husbands. Everyone’s arguing, and Ashley decides to bring up Monique’s “Amistad” comment about Katie. Deflect much, Ashley?

Candiace isn’t letting this go. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!” Her and Ashley go at it, and Candiace tells Ashley to get the fuck out of her house. Ashley leaves, unwillingly.

Gizelle follows Ashley outside. “I don’t know where that rumor came from,” Ashley says, clearly in complete denial. Gizelle is trying to talk some sense into her – she’s basically saying that she knows Candiace doesn’t like Ashley, but this is why – because she thinks her marriage is fake. And that she’s not “making it up” since Robyn “co-signed it.” Katie joins them, and she tells Ashley that the girls want her to go back inside. (Christ, Gizelle and Katie are so messy. That’s a bold faced lie. 😂) Gizelle thinks they should all go back in, and that she can probably get Candiace to apologize to Ashley.

Inside, Candiace has somewhat relaxed, until she realizes that Ashley is back in her home. Karen calls out Ashley – she’s like, “You we’re asked to leave, it’s rude to come back.” Ashley says that she needs to confront Robyn. “There are rumors about my husband, Karen! I need to address them!” Ashley snaps at Karen. Karen retorts, “Once you address them then you need to leave.”

Ashley begins to talk to Robyn, and Karen is chiming in with some shade. (I am dying.) Ashley basically tells her to stop butting in. Poor Chris – you can tell he literally wants nothing to do with this, but he also heard what he heard, so he interjects. “We both heard it,” Chris says, referring to himself and Robyn. “Me and Robyn both looked at each other.”

“You have a man as your witness. You’re done.” Karen is killing me this episode.

Ashley isn’t having this. “It didn’t happen!” Candiace isn’t here for Ashley’s denial. “You’re lying!” Candiace is adamant that Ashley heard Michael say it, too. Ashley is now saying that basically everyone else was super wasted and they have no idea what they’re talking about. The bickering is never ending – finally, Karen is like, “Enough is enough!” Ashley keeps fucking with Candiace, saying little jabs about her mom. Candiace is getting heated, and she kicks Ashley out of her house for the second time that night.

Monique pulls Katie aside, because she wants to clear the air about the Amistad comment. We barely get anywhere because Ashley is back. Even Monique is like, Why are you back? Candiace flips and tells Ashley, “You have been told to leave.” She kicks her out for the third time, and Katie follows.

“That was her trying to get me to go off,” Candiace says once Ashley is gone. I’m not sure who says it, Gizelle or Karen, but they tell her, “Candiace, you need to be held accountable.” Candiace gets upset. She says she’s always been supportive of Ashley. (Ummm….no you haven’t? Lmao.) Gizelle tries to explain why Candiace is so emotional, and it all boils down to the issues she’s currently having with her mom. “It was a dig at Candiace to say this was her mother’s home,” Karen says. (Thank you, Karen! 👏🏻👏🏻) “She’s hurt. Hurt people hurt people.” Preach.

In the car, Ashley and Katie are talking. “I don’t understand why everyone’s so fixated on making Michael look gay,” Ashley says. “Is he gay?” Katie asks. Ashley says no. “Does he hook up with guys?” Again, Ashley says no. Ashley tells Katie that she doesn’t really care about Candiace, but she’s questioning her friendship with Robyn. She doesn’t understand why Robyn would do this to her.

What kills me about all of this is that Ashley is completely missing the point. No one cares if Michael is gay – no one is fixated on making him look gay. He said something, and if he was a single man, it would’ve been whatever. But he’s not a single man. He’s married – to a woman – and trying to have a baby. Cheating is cheating, whether you want to have sex with a woman or a man who isn’t your significant other. I think Ashley is embarrassed and in denial.

The next day we are all around Potomac. Karen and Ray are having lunch, and taking about Karen’s new perfume.

Candiace is talking to Chris, who is encouraging her to call her mom. Candiace sets up a therapy session for herself and her mother with Gizelle’s therapist, Dr. Ken. With Chris’s support, Candiace calls her mom, and she agrees to go.

Ashley is saging her house. She tells the producers in her confessional that Michael was pissed about the allegations, and he’s adamant that he didn’t say what he’s being accused of saying. He’s questioning Ashley’s relationships with the girls. Ashley doesn’t blame him.

Monique and Chris go to a workout class. (I love these two, they’re my favorites.) Before the class starts Monique fills in Chris on what happened the night before. “Why would they even bring that up?” Chris asks, referring to Gizelle and Robyn. “Because they’re messy,” Monique replies. Lmao, she’s not wrong. 😆

Gizelle calls Ashley to “check on her” (although she says in her confessional she wants to know if Michael came out of the closet) and they briefly meet up. Gizelle basically throws Karen under the bus, saying that Karen said Michael doesn’t love Ashley after she left the night before. I don’t recall that? Ashley is pissed. She thinks Karen is “fake and phony”. Ashley also tells Gizelle that Michael is livid, and he doesn’t even want her to hang around with the girls anymore. She’s also pissed at Robyn. Gizelle does stick up for Robyn, but Ashley won’t budge. Clearly, her anger is misplaced. I agree with Gizelle when she says that it’s a “classic case of denial.” Gizelle tells Ashley she’ll talk to Robyn and let her know how she feels. She believes they can work through it.

Candiace and her mom, Dorothy, are on their way to see Dr. Ken. They start hashing out their issues before they even arrive, and I don’t understand why they bother doing this because they can not communicate with each other.

Once they do get to the office, Dr. Ken sets some ground rules. One of them is that only one person is allowed to speak at a time. Candiace begins, and she says that she feels like she and her mom “don’t really talk about things”. Basically, something happens, and then they just sweep it under the rug and it “goes away”, as if it didn’t happen. Dorothy can’t even follow this rule – she constantly keeps interrupting Candiace and Dr. Ken is getting super annoyed. Candiace brings up the purse incident, but Dorothy refuses to talk about it. Candiace becomes emotional because of this. Dorothy ignores all of that and just starts going on about how she pays for Candiace’s bills. Candiace calls her out and says she lying – she admits she pays a portion of the mortgage, but tells her she won’t have to for much longer. She says that she feels like Dorothy diminishes her every time she says things like that to her. Dorothy isn’t listening, and Dr. Ken says to her, “Dorothy, you’re not doing a good job right now. Listen to your daughter.” Candiace says that she doesn’t want to be around toxicity any longer – she just can’t do it. Dorothy literally doesn’t have a care in the world. It’s honestly amazing to me that this woman is a therapist. She’s cray cray.

Ashley is getting ready to perform at Virginia Gay Pride, and Gizelle, Robyn and Gizelle’s friend are going to see her. Ashley FaceTimes with Gizelle, and when she realizes Robyn is there she gets really awkward and hangs up. Super shady. Robyn agrees she will talk to Ashley. Gizelle fills her in on why Ashley’s upset, and Robyn says she didn’t have bad intentions, but she can see how it all came out horribly at Candiace’s dinner party.

Ashley performs. (We only catch a glimpse of this, and I’m sorry to be a dick, but Jesus this was awful.)

Ashley approaches Robyn and Gizelle after her performance, and her and Robyn get right into it. Ashley basically feels attacked – she doesn’t understand why Robyn would say anything when she knows Candiace has it out for her. Robyn explains that that wasn’t her intention, but then Ashley says that Robyn “co-signed false documents” and Robyn gets pissed. “Robyn ain’t co-sign nothing false,” she says. Ashley doesn’t deny this, but instead says, “I don’t think you’re a real friend to me.” Robyn’s like, “I’m not going to lie, Ashley.” Ashley is irrational angry at Robyn and stalks off, saying, “I don’t give a fuck.”

I think the real issue here is that Ashley wants Robyn to lie – I think Ashley knows exactly what Michael said, and she was hoping that Robyn wouldn’t mention it. That’s why she’s so mad at her, she wants loyalty from Robyn to take Michaels comment to the grave. Robyn isn’t doing that, though, so Ashley feels betrayed. Just my thoughts!

What’d you guys think? Do you think Michael said what he’s being accused of, or is everyone else lying? Team Ashley or Team Robyn?

Next week looks even better….it looks like some interesting info may be coming out…

Until next week….

SWEET SUMMER TIME

Happy Summer! I know it just started, but it goes by way too fast, not that I’m complaining. (I’m the most basic white girl when it comes to Fall – I live for it.)  But I do love Summer, and so far, I’ve been having a blast.

My boss gave me Red Sox tickets, so Saul & I went to Fenway to watch the Red Sox play Toronto, which happened to fall on the first day of Summer.  My boss did tell me he had great seats, but I underestimated how great these seats actually were.  I felt like I was on the field! I could see the players up close.  I’m not a huge baseball fan, but the ambience was great and it’s always fun to head into Boston.

The next day was a Saturday, and Saul and I had booked a mini weekend getaway to Vermont.  I hadn’t been to Vermont since I was a teenager, so I don’t even count that trip.  My friend’s parents had a timeshare and we were bored and went to Smuggler’s Notch off season.  We never left the resort, unless you count going to Big Lots and the grocery store. We weren’t of age, so we couldn’t really go anywhere.

We went to Stowe and stayed at The Golden Eagle Resort.  Vermont is so pretty.  Everything is so green and lush.  We had a lot of fun trying new restaurants and breweries.  We loved Cold Hollow Cider Mill – amazing cider.  We also tried Idletyme Brewing Company, but we weren’t impressed.  We had dinner there, but they were super disorganized and it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

We went to The Ben & Jerry Factory and took a tour – that was probably my favorite part of the trip.  It was so fun!  They had a “Flavor Graveyard” of all of the old ice creams that they’ve gotten rid of, it was really cute.

We also ended up on a scenic route, which was scary AF but fun.  I wish I didn’t delete the videos I took while we were driving on it.  There were boulders everywhere and you couldn’t really see around the bend.  There were also no middle lines in the road.

All in all it was a fun trip, and I would definitely go back to Vermont.

Me and Saul decided last minute we should have a cookout for the fourth of July, so we had some friends come over.  I got to see my nieces, and my nephew, which I’m always super excited about.  And my cousin Melissa came, which was shocking.  (LMAO I love you Mel!!!!) We got this blow up pool, that has a filter, so we had it all set up and it was such a hit. (With the kids, and the adults.)  It’s nothing crazy, but the fourth of July was so hot so it was nice to be able to cool off.  I was literally melting.  I wish I had taken more pictures, but we were sweating, so besides pictures of the babies, pictures were a hard no. I had a lot of fun, but probably had too many White Claws.

On Saturday I went up to Maine with my BFF Jena.  Her mom, Patty, has a house there, and we stayed with her for the weekend.  I absolutely love going to Maine.  I always have a blast with Patty and Jena, and Maine overall is just gorgeous.  I feel so calm and relaxed when I’m there.  We chilled poolside all day Saturday, and then Saturday night we went to Inn On The Blues.  They had a live band playing (The Nate Bash Band) and they were so good! I love live music, it’s so entertaining.  Again, I drank too many White Claws (actually, this time, I think I was drinking Truly), and we went to bed super late, so Sunday we had a lazy day in Maine and just relaxed.  I had a great weekend.

Now it’s Monday, and unfortunately I’m back at work.  I’m looking forward to more fun Summer Days and Nights though – in August, I’m going to Maine for a week with Saul, his brother, sister-in-law, and my niece, Ellie.  I cannot wait.  We rented a house and I know that will be fun.  Jena’s birthday is in August, so that will be a fun celebration.  And I’m planning on hopefully having some more cookouts and get-togethers.  Maybe another weekend away?  Who knows.  I also have some adult things to do – a phone call with our wedding planner at the end of July, and I need to get my Save The Dates out! It feels like our wedding is so far away, but I know it will be here before I know it.

How’s everyone’s Summer so far, and what’re your plans? What’re you looking forward to? Leave me a comment!

Talk soon!

 

 

25 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME – PART 2

I stopped at Number 13 in Part 1 of my blog post, so I’m back. 🤗

14. I’ve always been an avid reader

I’ve always loved to read. I think I was the only one in middle school who would be excited to have reading assignments. Looking back, I think James Patterson is the author who truly gave me a love for a good murder mystery. I remember reading Kiss the Girls and being so hooked. I loved all of the Alex Cross novels, too. I still love Patterson and murder mysteries and psychological thrillers are still my favorite. I like other genres, too. I’ll read pretty much anything. Some of my other favorite books are: The Great Gatsby, Valley of the Dolls, The Women’s Murder Club Series, Jane Eyre, Me Before You, Game of Thrones, Rebecca, The Last Mrs. Parrish…I could go on for a while.

15. Traveling is so fun – even if it’s just weekend trips.

Vegas 2017

Punta Cana 2016

Green Bay, WI 2017

Newport, RI 2017

NYC 2018

I love to travel, but I don’t get to nearly as much as I would like. I feel like every time I check a new place off of my travel bucket list, I add a new one on. I’ve been to Vegas twice (the second time around was much more enjoyable!), Canada, Punta Cana, Florida, California, NYC, Wisconsin….I know I already told you guys Nashville was my favorite. NYC is a lot. I think Boston is crazy, but NYC makes Boston look quiet. Vegas is a lot too – but not so crazy, depending on when you go. I loved Newport when I went, it’s so pretty and they have cute shops. I’d love to go back to Canada – I went for my senior trip in HS & I was 18 and it’s legal to drink in Montreal at 18, so that weekend is blurry AF. I also love North Conway, me & Saul go every year for my birthday. Maine is a favorite, too. Always a fun weekend trip. I’m super excited to go to The Bahamas, I’ve always wanted to go there. Other places on my bucket list: Bora Bora, Greece (Santorini to be exact), Italy, Norway, Ireland, South Carolina, LA, etc etc etc.

16. I prefer Quality over Quantity.

Me & Melissa, my cousin (sister 😋)

My brother, James, and my bff Jenalynn ❤️

My Mama is so cute

Uncle Saully & Baby Ellie (my heart 😍)

My Dad & My Brother at Foxwoods

Me, Jen & Talia

Me & Jessi

I literally cannot find a normal picture of me & Jack to save my life, so here we go 😂

I don’t have a ton of friends, but the friends I do have are the absolute best. Also, shout out to my work mom/BFF Kirty – we have no pictures!! But I love you so much. 😭❤️ I could go on and on about how much I love my family & my friends, but it would be repetitive. They know I love and appreciate them so much!

17. I’m a proud mental health advocate.

As someone who has suffered from anxiety and depression for half of her life, I am very much pro-therapy. I’ve been in and out of therapy (currently in) and it really is so helpful. Sometimes you get off track and you can’t get back on you by yourself. It’s okay to need help and to get it. I hate that there is still such a stigma surrounding mental health and mental illness. If you’re struggling, there is no shame in admitting it. There are people who act like admitting you need help or taking medication makes you weak – I completely disagree, I think it makes you strong. I have zero tolerance for ignorance when it comes to mental health/mental health shaming. I take medication, I talk to someone, and I struggle every single day yet I’m still here, and I’ll continue to fight this battle. Please remember that your mental illness doesn’t define you. And that although it may not feel like it in the moment, things will get better. Storms don’t last forever. Also, I’m adding this last one because it’s something I just realized myself – do not get frustrated/give up on therapy if you don’t see immediate results. Or if you have a few good weeks, and then you have a couple of down days – that’s okay. Working on yourself isn’t a quick fix. It takes hard work and it takes time. Don’t give up, keep going. You’ve got this.

18. Britney Spears is my spirit animal.

I think everyone knows this 😂 but it would feel weird to write facts about myself and not mention my love for Britney. I’ve loved Brit ever since I met her in 1999 at the Kiss 108 concert. She was the absolute sweetest and actually came back to take a picture with me because I didn’t get to be in the original photo. I saw her again in 8th grade – I got tickets to her Dream Within a Dream tour for my 13th birthday. I saw her in 2017 at her Piece of Me show in Vegas – it was literally so amazing, I can’t even put the feeling into words. (I cried when she came on stage, lmao.) I just love Brit. If I was a millionaire, I’d open a Britney Spears themed bar – Britney inspired cocktails and apps, all Britney music, Britney decor – 😍. How cool would that be!?

19. My favorite movies are chick flicks.

If you asked me what my favorite movie genre was, I’d tell you horror/thriller. But the more I think about that, the more I realize that’s not true. Yes, I enjoy horrors/thrillers, but literally all of my favorite movies are chick flicks. Mean Girls, Clueless, 13 Going on 30, Teen Witch, The Craft, Jawbreaker, Twilight – just to name a few. Some thrillers that I like – Final Destination, I Know What You Did Last Summer, What Lies Beneath, Scream – you know, the classics.

20. I love picking out baby names.

For someone who’s not pregnant and doesn’t plan on becoming pregnant anytime soon, I think about my future child/children’s names often. Me & Saul have talked about it, and we can’t agree on a boys name. We have agreed on some girls names, though. I won’t tell my favorite favorite names, but here are some I like a lot: Chance, Cruz, Grayson, Jace, Ariana, Maya, Everly & Lena, to name a few.

21. I would nap every single day if I could.

Napping is seriously my favorite. I prefer naps over actual sleeping at night. When I go to bed at night, I worry about all the shit I have to do the following day. When I nap, I feel so chill & carefree. At one point in life, in my early 20’s, I worked 8am-12pm. I was living in a luxury apartment at the time with my mom, who was basically living at her boyfriends, so I felt like I had my own place. The complex had a pool, so every day in the Summer I would get out of work at noon, go home (I lived 5 minutes from my job at this point) and lay poolside for two hours-ish, and then I’d nap from 3pm-7pm. Lmao I’m aware of how fucking ridiculous that is, but I miss those carefree days. Now I barely get a chance to nap on the weekend. (But you know I do when I can.)

22. I am the Queen of Birthdays.

2018 💓

20th Birthday with Melly – we were babies!

2013 – “Sorry, we forgot the birthday candles.” Lmao.

My 24th Birthday I think? @ Venetian Moon w/the girls 💜

I can’t believe I can’t find any birthday pictures with Saul, but they’re all uploaded on my laptop because they’re not on the this phone, and I’m not going on the laptop right now. (Sorry Saully!) Anyway, I’m obsessed with my birthday. I have never worked on my birthday and I never plan to. When I was younger I used to go wild on my birthdays – parties, bar hopping in Boston, Foxwoods trips – but as I’ve gotten older I’m much more low key. For the past few years Saul & I have gone to North Conway for my birthday and I absolutely love it. One year we stayed at Adventure Suites which was super cool. They have themed rooms – we stayed in the Love Shack which was so cute. I feel like North Conway on my birthday is a tradition now. Horsefeathers for Bloody Mary’s, Penny Lane Boutique & a trip to my favorite independent bookstore. Oh, and Vito Marcello’s for dinner. 🤗❤️

23. I believe in astrology.

I’ve always been a huge believer in astrology. I’m a Sagittarius, a fire sign, and I feel like I’ve always identified as one. Recently I’ve been digging deeper into astrology, and my astrological chart as a whole, and I’m fascinated. I’ve learned that I’m a Capricorn Moon, which was truly surprising to me. Capricorn is an Earth Sign, and I don’t know much about Earth Signs. Your moon sign signifies your feelings and inner thoughts, so I’m interested in learning more about it. I’ve also learned that despite being a fire sign, Earth is dominating my chart. That was surprising to me as well. I check my horoscope everyday (I use the Daily Horoscope app) and I also like the weekly horoscopes on The Cut. I feel like they usually resonate with me.

24. I love Podcasts.

Watch What Crappens w/Ronnie & Ben

My Favorite Murder w/Karen & Georgia

Two Judgey Girls w/Mary from the Bay & Courtney from LA

I loooove a good podcast, but my Top 3 are the ones I posted above. Watch What Crappens & Two Judgey Girls are Bravo related, and My Favorite Murder is, obviously, about murder. I love these duo’s – I listen while I’m in traffic during my morning/afternoon commute and I feel like I’m just hanging with my friends. Some other podcasts I’m into: Weekly Dose of B.S. (w/Brandi & Steph from RHOD), Martinis & Murder, Dr. Death, Dirty John, Casefile, Straight up w/Stassi (from VPR) and Everything Iconic w/Danny Pellegrino. If you’re into podcasts, check them out! And no, this is not an ad, lmao.

25. I’ve seen every episode of Law & Order SVU.

Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration – what I should have said is I’ve seen every episode of SVU with Stabler in it. I was in mourning for a little while after Elliot left the show, so I took an SVU break for a short time. Benson & Stabler are the most iconic duo on television of all time. I love that they’re actually close in real life, too. (Mariska is the god mother of one Chris’s children.) I love them. ❤️

And I’m done! Leave me a comment with some facts about yourself 🤗

RHOBH: THE PROOF HURTS

I can’t start this week without saying that I cannot believe we are 5 episodes in and still talking about Puppy Gate. But let’s just get to it.

We start out at Kyle’s, where everyone is packing because they’re getting ready to send Sophia off to school. (She’s going to college in DC.) We are already know Kyle’s feelings about Sophia leaving from previous episodes – she’s super emotional. They talk about their plans – they’re staying at a hotel for the weekend, helping Sophia get set up, and Farrah is meeting them in DC, too, which is really nice. Kyle tells us she really doesn’t like change. I feel that.

Denise & Rinna meet up at Malibu Lagoon. (Dying at Rinna’s shirt – can I please have one!?) They talk about The Bahamas, and Denise said she loves Erika. She also said she really liked LVP – she enjoyed the time they spent together when they were getting a massage. Rinna totally bites her tongue here and just goes with the flow. They don’t stay on the Bahama Drama long – Denise tells Rinna that Aaron’s divorce is finalized, and they’re planning on getting married. Lisa Rinna is super excited for her.

Over at The Kemsley’s, PK & Dorit are catching up. PK asks Dorit if she’s talked to LVP, to which she replies, “No.” He asks, “Not since The Bahamas?” Again, no. PK tells Dorit that LVP never called or texted him on his birthday, which isn’t like her. Dorit looks perplexed, and says that she and LVP need to “clear some things up.”

“I love her, but LVP is a genius at manipulation and control.” Those are some strong words from PK. He goes on to say, “It gets a little bit difficult for me when it’s my wife.” Dorit responds, “I would just like a little bit of honesty. If she tells me the truth we can work through it.”

I honestly find that ironic – you want the truth, yet you have yet to give us the truth in regards to Puppy Gate. Maybe LVP already knows the truth, but we, the viewers, do not. Again, the million dollar question we all want to know the answer to – why didn’t you give the dog back to Vanderpump Dogs? Or even, why didn’t you tell LVP you were giving the dog away prior to actually doing it? I’m sorry, this is so bizarre and doesn’t make sense. Wtf am I missing?

PK wants to know if there’s any scenario that Teddi is making it up, but Dorit doesn’t think so. PK states that someone is lying, and thinks that LVP owes Dorit an apology, because “she’s done nothing wrong.”

Except, Dorit did do something wrong. However, in this situation, LVP trying to set up Dorit is really fucked up. I’ve said this from Day One – if LVP was mad at Dorit, she would have every right to be, so why not just own it? This is honestly infuriating.

Teddi is at Erika’s (loving this friendship you guys!) and they’re rehashing Puppy Gate. (Side note: I would like a chapel in my home, and I love Erika’s leopard top. Anyway.) Erika tells us that going up against LVP shows strength, and she finds that admirable. Teddi starts from the beginning, so let’s just do this:

One month ago, Teddi & Dorit were not in a good place. Teddi tells Erika she saw Dorit out at events, and Dorit ignored her, but it was whatever. Teddi gets a call from Vanderpump Dogs, and is told all about the Lucy situation.

“This thing happened with the dog, and Lisa wanted you to know.”

Teddi admits she had a dramatic response to it, and says, “I was kind of in it.” She admits that she wanted the tea and asked for the details. “She fed me the information – I bit.”

Teddi goes on, “Lisa Vanderpump invited me and Kyle to Vanderpump Dogs-” Erika cuts in and asks, “For what?” Teddi replies, “They wanted me to say it and I couldn’t go through with it.”

“What did she want you to go through with?” – Erika

“Telling everybody what Dorit did.” – Teddi

“Oh God.” – Erika

Meanwhile, at Lisa Vanderpump’s, Lisa is meeting with John Blizzard. I am beyond annoyed by this entire scene. LVP literally runs through the events, but unlike Teddi’s confession, I am not buying hers. She’s trying too hard. She’s putting John Blizzard on this spot, and making sure that we’re all aware she “barely knows” him.

Back at Erika’s, Teddi is telling her, “Lisa’s in a tizzy, and saying ‘Don’t say anything’. That’s when I realized I had been set up.”

Erika tells us in her confessional that she didn’t think Teddi was as innocent as she portrays herself to be. We get a clip from the Reunion last season, where Erika tells Teddi she’s calculated. She tells us, “I think I was proven right.” She also tells us in her confessional, “It takes a lot to want to help take someone down.”

Teddi goes on to tell us that she’s not lying, and if she was lying, why would she implicate herself? She admits she was petty in the beginning and that she was originally involved. Erika reminds her that she has the proof, but Teddi thinks LVP will still find a way to flip this on her. And she’s absolutely right.

When we switch back over to LVP and John Blizzard, I truly feel like I’m watching a scripted scene. Lisa wants it to be clear that her words were misconstrued. She brings up the argument John Sessa and Ken had the night they found out Lucy was in the shelter, and I find it very convenient that LVP just happened to announce that she didn’t care who knew. John Blizzard then goes on to confirm that John Sessa said, “LVP doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter, tell whoever.” LVP states, “But then you implicate me.”

“I put words in your mouth that were not true and I will own that and I’m sorry for that.” – John Blizzard.

Oh my god, this is the biggest crock of shit I have literally ever heard. Give me a break! You honestly expect me to believe this? Why would John Blizzard lie to Teddi to begin with? He wouldn’t. He would literally not benefit from that in any way, shape or form. If anything, he would only hurt himself by going against her.

“Everyone at the center is upset that this is being flipped onto you,” he tells Lisa. I can’t even listen to this anymore, it’s unreal. Of course John Blizzard is going to back track now. He’s going to kiss LVP’s ass because she’s his boss, and this was planned all along, it just wasn’t supposed to come out.

A break from Puppy Gate – we’re at The George Washington University, where Sophia is going to school. I am dying at Mauricio, he’s killing me in these scenes. He looks around the around the dorm room and goes, “You have gorgeous windows.” Lmao @ Sophia – “It’s just a regular window.”

In BH, Lisa Rinna is getting ready to do a photo shoot for CVLUX Magazine. It’s a home and garden shoot, which Rinna finds amusing. “High fashion in the garden.”

In her confessional, Rinna tells us that LVP takes herself too seriously, and she needs to “own up to her mistakes.” Also, taking yourself too seriously ages you, according to Rinna. 😂 I know people have a lot of feels on Rinna, but I really don’t care – I love her. She literally owns everything she’s ever done – you can’t take that away from her. She’s living her best life right now.

Teddi calls Kyle while she’s in DC to check on her. (Lmao @ Mauricio curling Kyle’s hair for her.) Kyle asks Teddi what she’s up to, and she fills her in on her conversation with Erika and how she’s feeling about LVP. Kyle wonders what LVP’s next move will be, and she also feels like she’s going to be forced to pick a side. She tells us that she’s just going to choose the truth. Preach, Kyle. I know I’ve had mixed feelings about Kyle in the past, but I’m Team Kyle again. I’m with her on this.

Teddi, Erika & Dorit meet up and go horseback riding. Then they have lunch and drinks at Viva Cantina, and they all just have girl talk and enjoy each other’s company. It’s nice.

The Umansky family is having dinner at The Occidental Grill. I am dead at Farrah – Mauricio asks, “You came two days and checked a bag?” Lmao @ Farrah – “Yup.” Same, girl. 🙋🏼‍♀️

I honestly love this family. They’re so close, it’s so nice. ❤️

Denise and Aaron are having Date Night at The Sunset Restaurant. They’re talking about how his divorced is finalized, and how they want to get married. “The only free day we have is September 8th.” Denise is like, “You want to get married in 10 days?” And he’s like “Fuck yeah.” 😂❤️ Lmao I love it. Also, I seriously love that he’s into numerology – if you add up the date, it equals 8, which symbolizes infinity. “He does have this thing with numbers,” Denise tells us in her confessional. LOL I love it, I live for this shit.

It’s the last day Kyle’s in DC, and they’re having breakfast at their hotel. Everyone is super emotional – why am I crying!? 😭 I feel for Sophia. I remember when I moved out of state when I was 19 – I was so nervous and anxious, despite being excited. I hate change, I cried the entire flight to Florida. Everything was fine, and Sophia will of course be okay, too. Moving is hard! And poor Portia! My heart broke when she was sobbing!

Dorit and Kyle are at LVP’s, because LVP wants to clear the air from The Bahamas. They sit down, and LVP starts off by saying that she felt she was accused of something she wasn’t guilty of.

Kyle looks super suspicious. LVP pulls out the printed texts between Teddi and John Blizzard.

“I can see what you’re saying, Teddi’s hands are not clean in this, but I don’t think it’s fair to put this on her when she wasn’t alone in the situation,” Kyle tells LVP. In her confessional, Kyle tells us that she knows all of this – she’s seen Teddi’s texts, and Teddi didn’t orchestrate this, despite her involvement.

“That’s absolute bullshit,” LVP snaps.

Kyle isn’t letting it go. She asks Dorit how she knew that Teddi knew, and Dorit says LVP told her. Kyle then asks LVP how she knew Teddi knew, and LVP says she didn’t know that Teddi knew at the time. That doesn’t make sense? 🤔 LVP says she never had a discussion with Teddi or John Blizzard. Kyle’s basically like, “So who told you?” LVP isn’t giving an answer.

Dorit is realizing now that Teddi wasn’t as innocent in this scandal as she had originally believed. She’s definitely pissed, but she’s weary of LVP too.

And that concludes Episode 5.

Next week looks good – it looks like Teddi & LVP go head to head.

But – are we honestly going to talk about Puppy Gate all season? Cause I’m over this. And I definitely cannot watch 15 more episodes where we talk about it. I’m exhausted.

Until next week….