RHOBH: SHOWDOWN AT VILLA ROSA

Typically, I like to recap the episodes, and then I’ll throw my own opinions in here and there. However, this episode was so explosive, and left so many of us wondering – who’s telling the truth?  So I think I’m going to do something a little bit different today.  I’m not going to recap the entire episode, but let’s discuss certain scenes that play into what’s to come.

We know from last episode, that Radar Online published a story about Dorit and how she betrayed LVP by giving the dog (Lucy) to a kill shelter, etc etc etc. We know Dorit was super upset by this, and she and PK both believe LVP is the one who leaked it.

Let’s fast forward. Teddi is hosting a spin class for charity – the proceeds will go to Vanderpump Dogs.  Normally a spin class is $20, however, they’re charging $60 for a good cause.  Teddi has had this event planned for a couple of months – originally planned with John Blizzard.  Apparently, John Blizzard was supposed to be at Cycle House at 10:00 AM to set up; Teddi gets a text from one of the girls who works at Cycle House who tells her no one from Vanderpump Dogs is there.  Teddi doesn’t really know what’s going on, for all she knows, maybe no one’s showing.  LVP was also supposed to be there – she wasn’t planning on actually spinning, but she was going to be there and play with the dogs, etc.

At 10:30, Lyndsey, a Vanderpump Dog’s employee, shows up. So no Blizzard, no Sessa, no LVP.  Given the circumstances, it makes total sense that Blizzard and Sessa would not go.  I can see how Teddi would find it odd that LVP doesn’t show – but the girls do not know that LVP is anxiously waiting to hear about the bill (Resolution 401?) being passed by congress.  This bill that Vanderpump Dogs has been working on with Congressman Alcee will condemn the dog meat trade.  Seeing that this is what LVP is doing, I see nothing wrong with her not going to Cycle House.  She kept her word as well, and Vanderpump Dogs did show up.

All of the girls show up to Cycle House (minus LVP). Rinna is the first one to bring up the Radar Online story.

“Someone leaked that,” she tells the group.

“Not someone,” Dorit adds.

“We know who, “ Rinna says matter of factly.

Clearly, the majority of the group agrees with this.

“What’re you trying to do?” Erika asks, in reference to LVP.

“I’m not going to let her bully me,” Dorit says.

Rinna says that what LVP did was “dirty”, and the girls agree.

Once the class is done, the girls all go to lunch at Fig & Olive, and they basically pick up right where they left off prior to spinning.   They talk about how neither John Blizzard or John Sessa showed up, and how LVP was also a no show.

“Lisa had another event,” Kyle tells the group.   Apparently, Kyle was invited to the event, and it was 11:00 AM- 5:00 PM. (Which, am I mistaken here, because I’m wondering why Kyle doesn’t tell them LVP is waiting on a huge bill to be passed by congress?? Did she tell them??? If she did, I don’t remember. )

“Why couldn’t she come to this first and then go to her thing?” Denise asks. Honestly, I think Denise is totally innocent in all of this bullshit.  She’s asking genuine questions because she doesn’t know.

“I have no idea,” Kyle replies. KYLE – why aren’t you saying what LVP is doing!?  LVP didn’t randomly plan an event at the same time the Cycle House event was going on.  She can’t control when and if a bill is going to be passed.  SHARE THIS WITH THE GIRLS.

“Cycle House is five minutes away from Vanderpump Dogs,” Teddi says, annoyed. “She could’ve shown up and said hi to people.”

“It’s very clever, because now she can say, ‘Oh darling, I couldn’t possibly have shown up! I had another event with the dogs!’” Rinna exclaims dramatically, mocking LVP.

I’m watching this, super annoyed that Kyle isn’t saying what she’s truly doing.

We cut to LVP watching TV, waiting to see what happens – and the bill passes! She’s thrilled, and I’m thrilled for her.

Back over at Fig & Olive, Dorit brings up the article.

“I know that Lisa sent that story.” Dorit – why are you so confident that LVP is the one who leaked it?

“We can never say who it is,” Kyle responds.

Dorit is adamant it’s Lisa, and the rest of the group (except Denise) seem to agree with her.

“She’s not here,” Kyle adds, trying to stick up for Lisa. (Sorry, not buying it, Kyle. You could’ve diffused this earlier on.)  “We all have very strong opinions about this, and it’s a bad situation to be in.”

“She chose not to be here,” Rinna retorts.

“It’s indefensible behavior, and you have everyone here telling the same story,” Erika adds.

Rinna feels like Kyle struggles between doing the right thing, and doing what LVP wants her to do. She finds their relationship weird.

The women continue talking about this article, and the more they discuss it, the more sure they are that LVP is 100% behind it. Why?  “Her wordage.”  She says “nipped.”  (That’s an English word.)  She says, “Poor creature.”  JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  You guys, have you really underestimated LVP that much!?!?! This is way too obvious to have been LVP’s doing. How does no one see that?

Rinna goes on to tell us that LVP told her years ago how to plant or leak an article if she needed to. Okay, Rinna, let’s play Devils Advocate – doesn’t that mean it could, potentially, be you?

“You’re friends with her,” Denise says innocently, “Have you ever known her to leak stuff to the press?”

Kyle starts to tip toe around the answer, and then Dorit demands an answer. “Kyle, answer the question.”

Kyle basically says that she has zero proof, but has she thought that Lisa has leaked a story to the press before? Absolutely.  We get a flash back of Adrienne, when she accused Lisa of leaking a story to Radar Online.

Do I think LVP has leaked stories in the past to the press? YES. I absolutely do.  I don’t believe LVP is 100% innocent – I think she’s done some shady shit in the past.  I think she was going to set Teddi up and let her take the fall for outing Dorit.  She underestimated Teddi.  But I actually do not believe LVP is the one who leaked this particular story.  None of it’s making sense to me.

“Have you talked to LVP since the article came out?” Kyle asks Dorit.

Dorit is basically offended. “Why would I?”

I mean – why wouldn’t you? If I was in Dorit’s position, I would absolutely call LVP and ask her point blank if she leaked it.  I get it – they don’t think LVP is going to tell the truth.  But if that’s your good friend, why wouldn’t you confront her about it?

The girls basically all want Kyle to confront Lisa.

Another thing that’s confusing to me – Kyle thinks that this story would benefit Lisa and Vanerpump Dogs. I don’t see how that story would literally benefit anyone.  It makes everyone look bad.

Kyle does take one for the team, and heads over to Villa Rosa to confront LVP. Ugh, you guys, I hated this scene.  LVP is genuinely so excited to see Kyle – she’s over the moon that the bill passed, and she just wants to enjoy an afternoon with her friend.  Legit my heart hurts for her.  Kyle feels like she needs to be truthful and honest – and I get that, I do.  But you chose to confront her on camera – you don’t think that’s shady?  If I honestly believed my best friend was doing what LVP is accused of doing, I would never confront her on camera.  You’re doing that for a story line.

“The Radar Online thing came up. Dorit is very upset.  If you read the article, it sounds like it came from your camp.  I’m in a really bad position.”

LVP is instantly annoyed. “Why are you in a bad position?”

“Because as your friend, I want to say, that’s not true.”

“You think I’m going to go to Radar Online, give them a story, and then go to TMZ and refute that story?” (Apparently, TMZ approached Lisa after the Res 401 bill passed and asked her about the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice situation, and LVP stuck up for Dorit.)

“That’s what everyone thinks, yes,” Kyle says.

LVP is literally disgusted and shocked. They argue back and forth, and Kyle exclaims, “ You never let me talk!”

Kyle then goes on to say, “I’m here as your friend.”

Ken gets involved, and sticks up for Lisa. “You’re not her friend.”

“I will defend what’s right,” Kyle tells them.

“So you think I would give a story to Radar Online about Dorit?” Lisa asks Kyle.

“Yes,” Kyle answers, without even blinking.

“This changes everything.” LVP is furious, and clearly hurt. She tells Kyle to leave, and that she’s done with it all, and starts to head upstairs.

Ken starts in on Kyle, and although I understand he wants to stick up for his wife, it’s like back the fuck up Ken. You don’t get to get that close and aggressive toward any woman, ever.  And stop pointing your finger at her.  Lisa comes back down to get Ken, and her and Kyle start going at it again.

Lisa swears on her children’s lives, as well as Giggy’s, that she didn’t do it. She tells Kyle that she if swore on Farrah & Portia’s lives, she would believe her.  It’s telling that Kyle doesn’t believe her.

“Maybe you care more about your image than your friendships sometimes,” Kyle says.

LVP is 100% done at this point. So is Ken.  “Twelve years of friendship – done.”

We hear Ken yell, “GOODBYE KYLE!” from the top of the stairs, and then Kyle finally, reluctantly, leaves.

I literally had chills watching this scene play out. (I’m so dramatic, I know.)  But I have a lot of feels.  And honestly, I don’t think Lisa leaked this story.  I don’t think she would’ve gotten so upset if she had.  I know I said I do believe she’s leaked stories in the past, and I think Kyle knows that.  But I feel like Lisa was kind of looking at Kyle like, “I’m telling the truth this time!”

So if LVP didn’t leak the story (just hypothetically speaking, because we don’t know anything for a fact right now, and we may never know for sure) then who did?

Let’s talk conspiracy theories. (My favorite subject, LOL.) I don’t believe all of them, but they’re fun to go through.  So let’s do it.

•John Blizzard and/or John Sessa – this is my first guess. We all know how pissed John Sessa was about Lucy, I could absolutely see him or Blizzard going to Radar Online & bashing Dorit.

•Production – It would be so shady if production was behind this, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all. After all, their show thrives when it’s drama filled, and if they have no drama, I wouldn’t put it past production to create some.

•LVP – The most popular theory right now, and the most obvious. But doesn’t anyone else think it’s too obvious? Lisa is not dumb. I also think she already got Dorit back in the first episode, when her & Teddi were originally conspiring to take Dorit down. We saw Lucy onscreen, and we learned that Dorit had given the dog to someone, and had ended up in the shelter. We all knew. It was out there. There’s literally no reason for LVP to then go and talk to Radar Online to talk about Dorit some more. That’s not even LVP’s MO. I think Lisa likes to get back at people who wronged her – but I don’t think she would take it that far. Not when she already got what she wanted – the story to be out there.

•Kyle – I’m not sure how I feel about this theory, but it’s a good one. Apparently, people think Kyle is the culprit. She leaked the story, made sure it sounded like LVP, sat back and watched everyone blame LVP and played like she was conflicted about it, confronted her, accused her, took LVP down, and now she’ll be the new Queen Bee of BH. LMAO. I mean, this is so over the top. I don’t believe it, honestly. It’s too much.

•Lisa Rinna – The only reasoning I’ve heard behind this theory is that Rinna has been wanting to take down LVP for a while, since the whole Munchausen thing w/Yolanda. Still, I don’t buy it. I don’t think Rinna would ever do that to Dorit, for starters. And although Rinna is clearly enjoying this LVP take down, I still don’t think she’s the one who leaked the story.

•Erika – This is the least plausible theory to me. It literally makes no sense. I know Erika isn’t LVP’s biggest fan, but I don’t think she gives enough fucks to do this. Also, she’s grown close to Dorit, and again, I don’t think she would ever do that to her.

•Teddi – Worst theory ever. Teddi just openly admitted everything, and feels genuinely bad about it. I’m not even discussing this theory, it’s stupid.

•PK & Dorit – I mean, what the actual fuck? When people kept saying this, I was like, what would the motive be behind that? Everyone came back at me with one thing – MONEY. Still don’t buy it. Dorit’s broken up about it, and I don’t believe she would ever do something that could potentially put her children in harms way.

 

That’s all I’ve got – if I’ve missed any theories, please, send them my way! I’m tired of talking about this LOL.

Until next week….

RHOBH: EAT, DRINK AND BE MARRIED

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We start out with Erika & Mikey meeting up with the Pretty Mess Team to discuss Erika’s upcoming Pretty Mess Tour. They’re going over her set – they’re switching things up a bit, and they’re going to have multiple costume changes.  One of the outfits is basically an homage to that latex outfit Erika wore in Berlin (that flashback gives me life, LMAO.)  Erika is super excited, and I absolutely love seeing her in her element.

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Over at Haven & Co, Kyle, Dorit & Teddi are shopping for a wedding gift for Denise. They’re not sure what to get her.  Dorit tells us, “All I know is that she likes tequila.” LMAO.  Kyle’s disappointed that she’s going to miss the wedding – but not because she’s such a good friend, but because she can’t believe Denise managed to throw this together in 2 days, and she wants to see if it will be pulled off.  According to Kyle, this has “disaster” written all over it.  (I can feel myself turning on Kyle again, FYI.  I believe Lisa Rinna would call me a flip flopper.) Teddi tells us that her wedding was pretty low key, but still took 6 months to plan.  Of course Dorit had a lavish, over the top, Gatsby style wedding.  “We were living in LA, our wedding was going to be in NY, and our wedding planner was in London.”  Serious eye roll, stop it.

I know I said in past blogs that I saw a pattern with LVP, and while I do still see that, I’m also starting to see a pattern with Kyle.  Kyle seems to like this drama – why else is she constantly bringing LVP up? She tells Teddi that she’s going to see Lisa at Denise’s wedding – how does she feel about that?  Teddi’s not worried; she said her piece, and she feels like she and LVP can co-exist.  Kyle tells us in her confessional that she hates that her two good friends aren’t getting along.  (Why don’t I believe this?)  She says she tried getting LVP and Teddi to meet and talk, but neither of them were interested.  I mean….I would’ve believed Kyle if she hadn’t continuously filled Teddi’s ear with negative talk about LVP.  I don’t buy this.  I don’t understand why Kyle would have it out for LVP, but there’s something sketchy about this that I’m just not getting.

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Denise and Aaron are at Cypress Sea Cove, where they potentially hope to have their wedding. (Which is 2 days away, FYI, LMAO.)  They instantly fall in love, and they tell the coordinator that they’ll take it.  When he realizes how quickly they want to get married, his jaw drops.  I’m loving Denise you guys, she is seriously so friggen chill.

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Rinna’s in a hotel room, alone, and FaceTiming Denise. They’re talking about her wedding, and Rinna doesn’t think Denise is rushing into anything.  She talks about her own wedding with Harry Hamlin, and how they got married at their house, and everyone held a candle and the entire ceremony was lit by candlelight.  Rinna informs Denise she would not miss her wedding for the world, and she’s excited to see her.

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LVP & Ken are looking at kitchens – Lisa wants a new one; she hates her kitchen, she says it’s so dark and dreary and depressing. I am LOLing at LVP trying to sell the idea to Ken – a new kitchen would make her so happy and she needs to be surrounded by pretty, positive things.   It would also increase the value of the house, LMAO. A new kitchen is good for the soul.  Preach, Lisa.  The kitchen she’s looking at is absolutely gorgeous. She gets it.

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It’s the night before the wedding, and Denise doesn’t even have her dress yet, yet she’s still so chill and so calm. I legit aspire to be Denise Richards – her carefree attitude is so refreshing, I wish I could be this way.  I love that Denise invited Charlie – she invites him to anything involving the kids, which I think is wonderful co-parenting.  “Even if he brought a prostitute as his date, I wouldn’t care.”  DEAD, LMAO.  Denise does share with us that she’s sad her Mom won’t be there – her mom passed some years ago, and she wants to light a candle in honor of her.  Very sweet.  Aaron’s only qualm is that they didn’t tell her daughters sooner – Denise tells us in her confessional that she waited to tell the girls because she was afraid her teenage daughters would judge her, LOL.  Sami and Lola are both totally fine with it, and Eloise clearly loves Aaron.  Aaron is the absolute sweetest – when he gave the girls necklaces, I was basically crying.  I love this family.

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It’s the day of the wedding, and everyone is arriving. Erika & Rinna come together, and Erika is wearing one of Rinna’s QVC jumpers.  I love it, I think she looks so chic and simple, and pretty.  Rinna’s dress is a little bit crazy, but it’s totally her – floral print/leopard print mixture.  The girls are all looking pretty, but it’s clear to me there was no dress code for this event.  Everyone’s wearing totally different looks.  Teddi’s look is my favorite – I feel like she’s the most appropriately dressed for a beach wedding.

Teddi tells us she is not having any drama today. “I can ruin a 50th birthday party, but a wedding!?  Come on.”  LMAO.

Meanwhile, Denise is still at her house, late for her own wedding. But she literally doesn’t care and is just going with the flow and I love it.

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LVP arrives, and I’m honestly uncomfortable watching her make her rounds with the girls. Everyone is so fake in Beverly Hills.  Those double cheek kisses kill me.  I get it, it’s a wedding, and you’re all going to be polite and cordial, but it’s just so phony and gross.  LVP playfully smacks Rinna’s ass, and Rinna tells us that she “doesn’t have any beef with LVP right now” (that’s weird – you’ve been out to get her all season, but you have no beef with her?) and that “LVP is obsessed with her.”  Okay, I love Rinna, but come on – LVP is so far from obsessed with you.  It might be the other way around.

Teddi catches wind that it’s past 2:00 PM, and that’s when the ceremony was supposed to start. I’m actually LOLing at Dorit – “Denise, you’re on her radar.”  She calls Teddi the Punctuality Police.

At Denise’s house, she’s almost ready to go. One of her daughters can’t walk in her heels, and Denise is like, “Well, they’re Louboutin’s, so you have to figure it out.”  Her daughter asks if she can wear sneakers, and Denise is literally like, “Yeah, I don’t give a shit, wear whatever you want.”  I seriously love her.  Denise Richards is a breath of fresh air.

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Everyone at the wedding is freaking out that Denise is so late because they’re all sweating and melting, LMAO. Denise arrives shortly after, and everyone is totally relieved.

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I love love love this wedding. I totally feel Denise when she  says she doesn’t like being the center of attention, so she’s glad she’s walking down the aisle as a group.  Sami and Lola go first (and yes, one of them, sorry, can’t remember which one, is in fact, wearing sneakers) and then Aaron, Denise & Eloise walk down the aisle and I’m crying.

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Overall, the wedding is gorgeous. The ladies all got along, and Dorit feels like she and LVP are finally moving on and moving past all the dog drama.  LVP, however, does not feel the same way.  She was basically cordial because they were all at a wedding, but she actually feels like the girls owe her an apology, and she didn’t get one.

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The wedding is over, and Dorit and PK are at home, getting ready for bed. Dorit’s on her phone, and she gasps at what she sees.  There’s an article on Radar saying that LVP feels betrayed and stabbed in the back by friend Dorit Kemsley, after she dropped her dog off at a shelter.  Dorit is appalled – “This is untrue!”  She goes on to read more, and she’s convinced that Lisa is the one who leaked this story.  She knows that Lisa has a relationship with Radar, and the article mentions that Lucy was a Chihuahua Mix, and only LVP and her team knew that.  (I think anyone who saw the dog could have guessed Lucy’s breed, but that’s just my opinion.)  The article also states that Lucy “nipped” at Dorit’s children, and PK points out that “nipped” is an English word.  (We’re really reaching right now, you guys.)

While I do still believe Lisa set up Teddi to punish Dorit – I truly do not believe she leaked the article.  I think if anyone did, it was probably someone from Vanderpump Dogs – I’m guessing John Sessa.  I just don’t feel like LVP would need to.  The story was already out there, going to Radar would be so unnecessary, and way too obvious.  I do feel somewhat bad for Dorit – I don’t believe Dorit mistreated the dog, and I don’t believe she brought the animal to a kill shelter.  But at the end of the day, literally none of this would have happened if Dorit followed the protocol of Vanderpump Dogs and brought Lucy back to them.  End of story.  It was so refreshing to not talk about Puppy Gate for majority of the episode, that I can’t even get into this anymore right now.

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Next week looks explosive…it’s the scene we saw in the first episode, the massive fight between LVP and Kyle, when LVP kicks Kyle out of her house. (Literally all I can hear in my mind right now is Ronnie  & Ben’s voices from the podcast Watch What Crappens yelling, “GOODBYE, KYLE!” in their Ken voice.  If you don’t listen to them, you should.  Also, they’re selling merch right now that says “Goodbye Kyle” on it, and I feel like I need to go shop on their site.  Also, this is not an ad, I just truly love Watch What Crappens.)

Anyway….what do you guys think? Who leaked the story?

Until next week….

xo

RHOBH: FIFTY SHADES OF SHADE

What an episode!  I’m so sick of Puppy Gate, but clearly, this is moving way beyond just an issue with Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy.  Shit’s going down.

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We start out with Kyle, who is at The Agency, visiting Mauricio.  (I’m obsessed with Kyle’s jacket.  Obsessed.)  Kyle is feeling better now that Sophia is officially at school.  She shares with Mauricio that she’s worried that American Women (her TV Show, the one that has caused friction with her sisters) is not going to be picked up for a second season, but she’s trying to stay positive.

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Say whatever you want about Dorit – she’s literally slaying.  Her body is giving me life.  She is beyond gorgeous – #GOALS.  JMG Magazine is shooting Dorit and Barbie Blank (why do I know her?) modeling Dorit’s swimwear line, Beverly Beach.  And they’re going to be on the cover.

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Dorit’s invited Erika to the shoot, because she feels like “if you want to push the boundaries”, Erika Jayne is the best one to get advice from.  I’m LOLing at Erika giving her two cents; “Guts in, tits up!”  “You’re selling ass, not cookies!” LMAO.

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Denise is over at LVP’s, and she brought her daughters, Lola & Eloise.  Denise states that she knows all of the other ladies have an issue with LVP, but LVP has been nothing but “warm, compassionate and lovely” to her.  She wants to make her own judgment.  That’s totally fair.

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Back at Dorit’s, once the shoot wraps up, Erika and Dorit are chatting.  Dorit fills Erika in on the conversation she had the day prior at LVP’s with Kyle – and all of the texts LVP shared.  Erika is surprised by this information, because this is different than what she has heard from Teddi.  Dorit tells Erika she still feels the same way – like LVP isn’t going to take ownership, and she doesn’t think this is all Teddi, though she realizes now that Teddi is not as innocent as she originally portrayed herself to be.  They both muse about what LVP’s endgame is – to make Dorit look bad?  It sure seems so.  Erika tells Dorit, “Don’t trust anyone.”

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Rinna is visiting Camille – she’s checking out the restaurant/venue she plans on having her 50th Birthday Bash at.  Rinna brings up the Bahamas and LVP, and Camille says, “We’ve all experienced the wrath of LVP.” I am literally dead at this clip of Camille calling out LVP for telling Camille to bring up Taylor and Russell (Season 2, which I just watched!)  Camille admits that Lisa did tell her to bring it up, and that Lisa has “a habit of keeping her hands clean.”  I mean, isn’t that obvious by now?  Everyone who is so Pro-LVP – she literally does this every single season.  It’s a pattern.  Camille also feels bad for LVP though – she’s going through a lot, and she’s having a tough time.  Honestly, I really love Camille.  I think she knows how LVP is, but she doesn’t care.  It’s kind of like – it is what it is.  Lisa’s always been this way, she’s not going to change now. Camille does bring up Dorit, though, and says that she is kind of phony.  Lisa Rinna thinks Camille is being “wishy-washy” because they got along just fine in the Bahamas.  “Did she really want a dog?” Camille asks.  “Or did she just want to be closer to Vanderpump.”  Rinna looks shocked, and Camille adds, “I know, I’m being catty.”

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Denise and Aaron are discussing their upcoming wedding – they seriously do plan on getting married on 9/8/18, and they cheers to “trying to put together a wedding in a week.”  They found a place in Malibu where they want to have it at, and it looked gorgeous.  I’m so weirdly attracted to Aaron right now, LMAO. I love how spontaneous these two are.

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Teddi is meeting with her therapist, Val.  She tells Val that she’s, “a mess today”, and she fills her in on what’s been going on.  She admits that she has anxiety because of it, and I think it’s written all over Teddi’s face that she got in way over her head.  She owns it all – she was in on the scheme, but she couldn’t go through with it.  She also shares with us that she was originally told a story about Lucy that wasn’t true.  Teddi believed Lucy had been locked in Dorit’s basement, and hadn’t seen the light of day for months, and then had been taken to a kill shelter.  (WTF?)

Honestly, I’m totally Team Teddi.  Trying to take someone down isn’t the right thing to do, but she’s owning it now, and she’s sorry for it.  She also didn’t even go through with it.  This is LVP’s M.O. – she uses whoever the newest/weakest person is to do her dirty work.  Seriously, please look back at prior seasons.  She’s close with Camille while Camille is going through a horrible divorce, and has Camille confront Taylor about the Russell situation, while she sits back and watches.  She was super close to Brandi, and screwed her over with the tabloid thing with Kyle and Mauricio (Mauricio was supposedly cheating.)  She became good friends with Lisa Rinna, only to put a bug in her ear that Yolanda Hadid had Munchausen Syndrome, and then pinned it all on Lisa.   And now she’s doing it to Teddi, so she can get back at Dorit.  Erika Jayne called it from the moment she met LVP – “Lisa Vanderpump is a sniper from the side.”

I like that Teddi’s therapist, Val, tells her, “It’s okay that a loose end isn’t going to be tied up.”  I feel like I needed to hear that advice.

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Over at Hart & The Hunter, Kyle and LVP are meeting up with Denise and Aaron for dinner.  We learn that American Women was not picked up for a second season, and although Kyle’s disappointed, she’s hoping she’ll be able to reconnect with her sisters.  Denise is being super silly during dinner, and she just keeps talking about how big Aaron’s penis is.  LMAO.  Denise fills them in on their plans for the wedding – Kyle can’t go, because she has a party at The Agency that night.  But all of the other girls plan on attending.

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It’s Camille’s birthday!  Her party is in full swing, and everyone looks fabulous.  I will say, though I usually love Rinna, she’s annoying me with her side comments on Camille and Dorit’s relationship.  She tells us in her confessional, “Flip-floppers are confusing.”  Like cut it out, Rinna.

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Teddi, Erika and Dorit are talking, and things are clearly awkward.  “Tell her,” Erika urges Dorit. Dorit, who also looks nervous, replies, “Now?”  Teddi is anxious, and asks, “Tell me what? Just tell me now.”  Dorit calls Teddi out – she goes over everything she learned at Vanderpump’s.  The three of them go out onto the patio to talk more.

Erika tells Teddi, “It sounded shady.”  Teddi explains the entire story, including her part in it.  Erika sees Kyle and LVP heading into the party, and says, “Guys, here she comes.”  Teddi and Dorit continue to talk, despite knowing LVP is close by.  “I was set up,” Teddi confesses.  “I took the bait, but I couldn’t go through with it.”

Kyle knows something is going on, but she’s not getting into it right now.  “There’s something going down, but I’m just going to mosey on by.”

Teddi apologizes to Dorit – she truly is sorry.  She felt like LVP was there for her the year before, when she was struggling to fit in with the girls.  Erika chimes in, and says, “She feels used. She’s accepting responsibility.”  Dorit respects this.  She wants to move on, and she appreciates Teddi’s apology.  Now she wants LVP to own it.

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woah

 

Rinna & Kyle join the girls, and Teddi fills them in on what’s going on.  Denise joins the group, because she wants the girls to come back inside.  LVP is soon outside as well.

“We’re talking about the other day,” Kyle tells LVP.

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“I want to move on from it,” LVP informs the group.  “It’s all clear to me.”

“What’s clear to you?” Teddi is livid.

“You’re guilty by omission,” LVP says, as if she honestly doesn’t have anything to do with this debacle. “I saw the texts, I was shocked.”

I’m literally screaming at my TV at this point – are you fucking kidding me?  GTFO.  I cannot.  Teddi questions Lisa – how did she know that she knew? Lisa backtracks at this and contradicts herself.  She says she didn’t know that Teddi knew – but then she says of course she knew Teddi knew.  Which one is it?

Kyle tells us in her confessional, “It’s very clear to me Lisa Vanderpump wanted Teddi to know about the dog.”  Rinna tells us, “All roads lead back to LVP.”  Sorry LVP, everyone seems to be onto you.

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Teddi takes complete ownership.  She tells LVP that she knows she will never own it, but at the end of the day, Teddi told the truth, and if LVP can live with herself, then that’s fine – “it’s been working for you for a long time,” she adds.  (Everyone is so shocked right now.  Yaaassss Teddi!)

LVP has the audacity to ask, “You don’t feel any guilt or remorse?”  “Not to you,” Teddi snaps.  “I feel betrayed by you.”  “I feel betrayed by you,” LVP retorts.  “Oh, cause I couldn’t carry out your plan?  Sorry.”  Teddi is done.

Dorit tells us, “The truth will always set you free.”

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Back inside, the girls all sing Happy Birthday to Camille, and it’s as if the past twenty minutes never occurred, LOL.  (Only in Beverly Hills.)  The girls seem to enjoy the rest of the night – Kyle’s wasted, and Rinna’s encouraging her to do splits.  LMAO.  Typical.

The night is coming to an end……and so are some friendships.

What’d you guys think? Until next week…..

xo

RHOBH: THE PROOF HURTS

I can’t start this week without saying that I cannot believe we are 5 episodes in and still talking about Puppy Gate. But let’s just get to it.

We start out at Kyle’s, where everyone is packing because they’re getting ready to send Sophia off to school. (She’s going to college in DC.) We are already know Kyle’s feelings about Sophia leaving from previous episodes – she’s super emotional. They talk about their plans – they’re staying at a hotel for the weekend, helping Sophia get set up, and Farrah is meeting them in DC, too, which is really nice. Kyle tells us she really doesn’t like change. I feel that.

Denise & Rinna meet up at Malibu Lagoon. (Dying at Rinna’s shirt – can I please have one!?) They talk about The Bahamas, and Denise said she loves Erika. She also said she really liked LVP – she enjoyed the time they spent together when they were getting a massage. Rinna totally bites her tongue here and just goes with the flow. They don’t stay on the Bahama Drama long – Denise tells Rinna that Aaron’s divorce is finalized, and they’re planning on getting married. Lisa Rinna is super excited for her.

Over at The Kemsley’s, PK & Dorit are catching up. PK asks Dorit if she’s talked to LVP, to which she replies, “No.” He asks, “Not since The Bahamas?” Again, no. PK tells Dorit that LVP never called or texted him on his birthday, which isn’t like her. Dorit looks perplexed, and says that she and LVP need to “clear some things up.”

“I love her, but LVP is a genius at manipulation and control.” Those are some strong words from PK. He goes on to say, “It gets a little bit difficult for me when it’s my wife.” Dorit responds, “I would just like a little bit of honesty. If she tells me the truth we can work through it.”

I honestly find that ironic – you want the truth, yet you have yet to give us the truth in regards to Puppy Gate. Maybe LVP already knows the truth, but we, the viewers, do not. Again, the million dollar question we all want to know the answer to – why didn’t you give the dog back to Vanderpump Dogs? Or even, why didn’t you tell LVP you were giving the dog away prior to actually doing it? I’m sorry, this is so bizarre and doesn’t make sense. Wtf am I missing?

PK wants to know if there’s any scenario that Teddi is making it up, but Dorit doesn’t think so. PK states that someone is lying, and thinks that LVP owes Dorit an apology, because “she’s done nothing wrong.”

Except, Dorit did do something wrong. However, in this situation, LVP trying to set up Dorit is really fucked up. I’ve said this from Day One – if LVP was mad at Dorit, she would have every right to be, so why not just own it? This is honestly infuriating.

Teddi is at Erika’s (loving this friendship you guys!) and they’re rehashing Puppy Gate. (Side note: I would like a chapel in my home, and I love Erika’s leopard top. Anyway.) Erika tells us that going up against LVP shows strength, and she finds that admirable. Teddi starts from the beginning, so let’s just do this:

One month ago, Teddi & Dorit were not in a good place. Teddi tells Erika she saw Dorit out at events, and Dorit ignored her, but it was whatever. Teddi gets a call from Vanderpump Dogs, and is told all about the Lucy situation.

“This thing happened with the dog, and Lisa wanted you to know.”

Teddi admits she had a dramatic response to it, and says, “I was kind of in it.” She admits that she wanted the tea and asked for the details. “She fed me the information – I bit.”

Teddi goes on, “Lisa Vanderpump invited me and Kyle to Vanderpump Dogs-” Erika cuts in and asks, “For what?” Teddi replies, “They wanted me to say it and I couldn’t go through with it.”

“What did she want you to go through with?” – Erika

“Telling everybody what Dorit did.” – Teddi

“Oh God.” – Erika

Meanwhile, at Lisa Vanderpump’s, Lisa is meeting with John Blizzard. I am beyond annoyed by this entire scene. LVP literally runs through the events, but unlike Teddi’s confession, I am not buying hers. She’s trying too hard. She’s putting John Blizzard on this spot, and making sure that we’re all aware she “barely knows” him.

Back at Erika’s, Teddi is telling her, “Lisa’s in a tizzy, and saying ‘Don’t say anything’. That’s when I realized I had been set up.”

Erika tells us in her confessional that she didn’t think Teddi was as innocent as she portrays herself to be. We get a clip from the Reunion last season, where Erika tells Teddi she’s calculated. She tells us, “I think I was proven right.” She also tells us in her confessional, “It takes a lot to want to help take someone down.”

Teddi goes on to tell us that she’s not lying, and if she was lying, why would she implicate herself? She admits she was petty in the beginning and that she was originally involved. Erika reminds her that she has the proof, but Teddi thinks LVP will still find a way to flip this on her. And she’s absolutely right.

When we switch back over to LVP and John Blizzard, I truly feel like I’m watching a scripted scene. Lisa wants it to be clear that her words were misconstrued. She brings up the argument John Sessa and Ken had the night they found out Lucy was in the shelter, and I find it very convenient that LVP just happened to announce that she didn’t care who knew. John Blizzard then goes on to confirm that John Sessa said, “LVP doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter, tell whoever.” LVP states, “But then you implicate me.”

“I put words in your mouth that were not true and I will own that and I’m sorry for that.” – John Blizzard.

Oh my god, this is the biggest crock of shit I have literally ever heard. Give me a break! You honestly expect me to believe this? Why would John Blizzard lie to Teddi to begin with? He wouldn’t. He would literally not benefit from that in any way, shape or form. If anything, he would only hurt himself by going against her.

“Everyone at the center is upset that this is being flipped onto you,” he tells Lisa. I can’t even listen to this anymore, it’s unreal. Of course John Blizzard is going to back track now. He’s going to kiss LVP’s ass because she’s his boss, and this was planned all along, it just wasn’t supposed to come out.

A break from Puppy Gate – we’re at The George Washington University, where Sophia is going to school. I am dying at Mauricio, he’s killing me in these scenes. He looks around the around the dorm room and goes, “You have gorgeous windows.” Lmao @ Sophia – “It’s just a regular window.”

In BH, Lisa Rinna is getting ready to do a photo shoot for CVLUX Magazine. It’s a home and garden shoot, which Rinna finds amusing. “High fashion in the garden.”

In her confessional, Rinna tells us that LVP takes herself too seriously, and she needs to “own up to her mistakes.” Also, taking yourself too seriously ages you, according to Rinna. 😂 I know people have a lot of feels on Rinna, but I really don’t care – I love her. She literally owns everything she’s ever done – you can’t take that away from her. She’s living her best life right now.

Teddi calls Kyle while she’s in DC to check on her. (Lmao @ Mauricio curling Kyle’s hair for her.) Kyle asks Teddi what she’s up to, and she fills her in on her conversation with Erika and how she’s feeling about LVP. Kyle wonders what LVP’s next move will be, and she also feels like she’s going to be forced to pick a side. She tells us that she’s just going to choose the truth. Preach, Kyle. I know I’ve had mixed feelings about Kyle in the past, but I’m Team Kyle again. I’m with her on this.

Teddi, Erika & Dorit meet up and go horseback riding. Then they have lunch and drinks at Viva Cantina, and they all just have girl talk and enjoy each other’s company. It’s nice.

The Umansky family is having dinner at The Occidental Grill. I am dead at Farrah – Mauricio asks, “You came two days and checked a bag?” Lmao @ Farrah – “Yup.” Same, girl. 🙋🏼‍♀️

I honestly love this family. They’re so close, it’s so nice. ❤️

Denise and Aaron are having Date Night at The Sunset Restaurant. They’re talking about how his divorced is finalized, and how they want to get married. “The only free day we have is September 8th.” Denise is like, “You want to get married in 10 days?” And he’s like “Fuck yeah.” 😂❤️ Lmao I love it. Also, I seriously love that he’s into numerology – if you add up the date, it equals 8, which symbolizes infinity. “He does have this thing with numbers,” Denise tells us in her confessional. LOL I love it, I live for this shit.

It’s the last day Kyle’s in DC, and they’re having breakfast at their hotel. Everyone is super emotional – why am I crying!? 😭 I feel for Sophia. I remember when I moved out of state when I was 19 – I was so nervous and anxious, despite being excited. I hate change, I cried the entire flight to Florida. Everything was fine, and Sophia will of course be okay, too. Moving is hard! And poor Portia! My heart broke when she was sobbing!

Dorit and Kyle are at LVP’s, because LVP wants to clear the air from The Bahamas. They sit down, and LVP starts off by saying that she felt she was accused of something she wasn’t guilty of.

Kyle looks super suspicious. LVP pulls out the printed texts between Teddi and John Blizzard.

“I can see what you’re saying, Teddi’s hands are not clean in this, but I don’t think it’s fair to put this on her when she wasn’t alone in the situation,” Kyle tells LVP. In her confessional, Kyle tells us that she knows all of this – she’s seen Teddi’s texts, and Teddi didn’t orchestrate this, despite her involvement.

“That’s absolute bullshit,” LVP snaps.

Kyle isn’t letting it go. She asks Dorit how she knew that Teddi knew, and Dorit says LVP told her. Kyle then asks LVP how she knew Teddi knew, and LVP says she didn’t know that Teddi knew at the time. That doesn’t make sense? 🤔 LVP says she never had a discussion with Teddi or John Blizzard. Kyle’s basically like, “So who told you?” LVP isn’t giving an answer.

Dorit is realizing now that Teddi wasn’t as innocent in this scandal as she had originally believed. She’s definitely pissed, but she’s weary of LVP too.

And that concludes Episode 5.

Next week looks good – it looks like Teddi & LVP go head to head.

But – are we honestly going to talk about Puppy Gate all season? Cause I’m over this. And I definitely cannot watch 15 more episodes where we talk about it. I’m exhausted.

Until next week….