RHOBH THROWBACK: THE DINNER PARTY FROM HELL

Allison Dubois

Do you guys remember when RHOBH used to be so good? I almost forgot until I re-watched The Dinner Party From Hell.  Pure Reality TV GOLD.  This is literally everything I want from my housewives – ridiculous, fun drama.  None of this Lucy Lucy Apple Juice stuff. These were the good old days.

Camille and Taylor are meeting up for lunch.  For those of you who don’t remember, this is Post-New York, where Kyle & Camille get into a huge argument.  Camille fills Taylor in on the fact that she plans to have a dinner party this upcoming Saturday, and she’s inviting all of the girls.  “I’m cautiously optimistic,” Camille tells Taylor.  She says that in addition to the girls coming, Camille is inviting her friend, Allison DuBois.  She explains to Taylor that Allison is a medium, and she has a show called Medium, which is about her life.  Camille tells us in her confessional that when Allison has too many cocktails, “she may hit below the belt.”  (We find that out soon enough.)

I truly miss Paul & Adrienne.  I loved them as a couple, they always made me laugh.  Paul is just yelling out for Adrienne, and then when we see him, he has a bandage on his nose.  Apparently he was wrestling with their son (who is 4) and got hurt.  Adrienne thinks Paul is being a huge baby.  LMAO.

Now we’re at Camille’s, who is calling the girls individually to invite them to dinner.  I’m dying when she calls LVP – apparently Lisa’s voicemail fucks with you?  But Lisa laughs in her confessional, so I couldn’t tell if she was messing with Camille or not.  Camille calls Kim and tells her to tell her sister – but also says she will call Kyle, too.  She does, and Kyle answers.  Kyle says that she has dinner already planned with a friend – would it be okay if her friend comes too? Camille says yes.

The night of the dinner, all of the girls are getting ready.  LVP is wary of Camille’s dinner party.  “Hopefully we can be civilized,” she tells us.  Kyle is getting ready, and fills in her stylist, who is surprised.  “Was she nice?” she asks.  “Very,” Kyle tells her. “She seemed genuine & sweet.”  We learn that Kyle is bringing Faye Resnick, a very good family friend. (I am so amped for this.)

Over at Camille’s, D.D., Camille’s assistant/best friend, is there.  D.D. wants to meet all the girls.  D.D. is surprised that Camille is even hosting this dinner, but is glad that it will be on her own turf.

Taylor, Adrienne and LVP all ride together, as do Kim, Kyle and Faye.

Over at Camille’s, Allison has arrived and Camille, D.D. and Allison are all chatting.

In the limo with Taylor, Adrienne and LVP, Taylor fills the other women in on the fact that Allison is a medium, and has a TV show based on her.

Back at Camille’s, Allison would like to do a toast.  “Cheers to old friends and new friends – and new friends who may end up being old friends. ” LMFAO, I am dying.  Clearly, Camille has an agenda with this dinner party, and Allison is an evil bitch.

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Taylor, Adrienne and LVP arrive first.  Allison looks the women up and down – clearly, she’s super judgmental.  She can’t wait to brag to LVP that Patricia Arquette plays her in Medium, and that she also profiles serial killers. Um, wrong person to brag to, Allison.  LVP is clearly not a murderino, LMAO.  Kyle, Kim and Faye show up next.  Kyle feels awkward, but is happy that everyone seems to be getting along.

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Everyone is drinking – they have a drink called the “Camille Cocktail”, which LVP describes as a “bowl of soup.” It’s huge, and the girls all say it’s super strong.  The drinks are flowing and everyone heads to the dining room and sits down at the table.  Allison just randomly starts talking out of her ass.  “It’s Saturday, we’re not supposed to be good.  We’re supposed to be bad in a controlled setting.”  Literally crickets – everyone’s just looking at each other like WTF?  Adrienne tells us in her confessional that she sat next to Allison and, “I thought she was strange.” Cut back to the table, and Allison is still rambling.  “I only have a brother, that’s why I like to hang out with Alpha Females.” Again, such a weird and random thing to say.  Adrienne breaks the silence by saying, “I think we should toast to that.”

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Camille turns her attention to Kyle.  “How do you know Faye? Who is Faye? Why does she look so familiar?” She asks.  “Faye’s a very close family friend – she’s like a sister,” Kyle tells Camille.  Camille stops and thinks for a second.  “You know how I know her? I saw her naked in Playboy.”  Kyle looks livid, and for a moment I think she’s going to fly across the table at Camille.  LVP thinks it’s an inappropriate thing for Camille to say to her dinner guest.  Camille goes on, “You looked great.”  In her confessional, Camille says that she realized during dinner who Faye was.  “The morally corrupt Faye Resnick.  That’s who it is.”  At the table, she continues and says, “I loved your spread.”  Kyle is so not here for this. “Camille, didn’t you do Playboy?” Camille did, but she “didn’t pose naked.”  She justifies it by saying she was in her early 20’s.  In her confessional she tells us, “I didn’t just come off of a big murder trial that involved my best friend.  I don’t understand those kinds of people and I don’t want to associate with it.”  Kyle, in her confessional, tells us, “Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, and she just threw a big boulder.”

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Tensions are high, and it’s already awkward enough without Allison pulling out her e-cig.  (She’s ahead of her time, LMAO.)  The girls are all impersonating her in their confessionals – Kyle compares her to Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

LVP is the first to bring up anything medium related.  She wants to know if Allison can feel people around them at the moment who have passed. Allison says she tells spirit to take a backseat, because everyone at the table is who she wants to focus on.  Camille is annoyed, and says that Allison is here as a guest, and doesn’t have to “perform.”  LVP keeps going – “Can’t you do something? Is my Grandmother here?” (LMAO.) “I hate to say it,” Allison says, annoyed, “But we’re having a girls night, and I’m off the clock.”  Kyle sticks up for Lisa and says, “We’re just curious.”  At this point, it’s obvious that Allison is sloshed, and Camille reaches for her cocktail to take it away from her.

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Kyle whispers to Faye at the end of the table, “She’s off the clock, so should I whip out my credit card and be like, ‘Can I ask you a question now?'” Faye decides to ask a question, and Allison replies, “Don’t tempt me.” Kyle is like, “What does that mean, ‘Don’t tempt me?'” Allison simply replies, “Don’t get me started.” Camille interjects and says that Allison may potentially say something the girls don’t want to hear – example, if a spouse was cheating.  Kyle asks, “Can you tell us something that’s not scary?” Allison is basically possessed by a demon at this point, and evilly says, “What I want to say to you might be irritating.”  Kyle snaps back, “I don’t care.” Allison takes that as an okay.  “Have you been married twice?”  Kyle confirms that she has.  “Oh, well that’s good.  I thought I was going to have to tell you that you were going to get divorced and get married again.”  Then she starts talking about Kyle’s husband, Mauricio.  “He will never emotionally fulfill you. Know that.”

The whole table is shook.  “As soon as the kids are bigger, you’ll have nothing in common.” Camille says that Kyle pushed for the reading.  Kyle is amused but pissed.  “Anything else?” She asks Allison.  “You’re guarded,” Allison replies.  “You talk to males more than you talk to females.” Kyle immediately shuts that down and says that’s not true.  Camille speaks up and says, “That’s me. I get along better with males because girls are very catty to me.” This comment gets everyone talking about the NY drama, which we hoped would be avoided.

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Camille insists that she didn’t tell Allison anything about NY – and Faye pipes up, saying she doesn’t believe that.  “If you’re as good as girlfriends as you say you are, she would’ve told you.  Kyle told me everything that happened in New York.” This pisses off Allison, who says,” You’re saying we’re not that good of girlfriends because she didn’t tell me?” To which Faye clap backs, “My psychic abilities tell me no.” I am DEAD.

Allison sticks up for Camille, saying she didn’t have to tell her, because she can fight her own battles.  Camille jumps in and asks, “Is that why you came Faye? To defend Kyle?” Kim is literally bugging out in her seat.  Faye says that’s not why she’s there, but also says, “There was an attack made on my friend.” In her confessional, Camille tells us, “Did I think it was a set up? Absolutely.” (LMAO – Camille, you set this up.  I’m dying.)

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They’re still rehashing and arguing about New York, and Kyle is getting pissed because Allison keeps chiming in, and she wasn’t even there.  She tells her to be quiet, and Allison just hurls insults at her. “You’re entirely washed up.” Like what? It’s insinuated that Allison is there to defend Camille, to which Camille says, “I invited Allison because it makes for interesting conversation.”  Kyle shoots back, “But she’s off the clock.  We’re not allowed to talk about it.”  Preach. Allison starts praising herself, which is super awkward.  LVP is disgusted by it all – she says that Allison, “The Sidekick”, was more provocative than anyone else at the table.

Faye and Allison begin to argue again.  Allison tells Faye to leave, and Faye tells Allison to leave in return.  “You have two legs, the last time we checked,” Allison snaps at Faye.  Adrienne is just mortified by this entire thing.

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Out of the blue, Taylor and Kim start going at it, which doesn’t help anything.  Kyle’s like, “This is all bullshit to me!” And then Kim randomly yells at Taylor, “Go blow up your lips some more!” LMFAO like WTF? In her confessional, Taylor tells us, “The dinner table was a swirling tornado.”

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Taylor is the one to shut it down. “Enough!” She screams at everyone.  For whatever reason, this works, and the ladies all stand up to leave.  Kyle says, “I don’t get it, I’ve never had problems like this with anyone in my life.” Camille, who is still sitting, says, “I don’t have a problem with you Kyle.  Well, after New York you did call me a delusional bitch.” Camille also thinks Kyle is jealous of her, which I find humorous.  Jealous of what, exactly? They legit start to rehash the NY drama again and LVP is like, “We can’t go down that road again.”  Allison really wants to give her two cents again, and Kyle’s had it. They head out.

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At the table, it’s just Camile, D.D. and Allison.  “I can tell you when she will die and what will happen to her family,” Allison says. “I love that about me.” (I’m so creeped out.)

Kim and Taylor are still fighting in the hallway, and when they make their way outside Kyle gets pissed at Kim.  Kim’s like, “Why are you mad at me!?” And Kyle says that her fighting with Taylor wasn’t helping anything, and she also felt like Kim didn’t have her back at all.  LVP tells us, “It was a few clowns short of a circus.”

Back inside, Allison is still going on. “Kyle’s a little bitch.  Kyle is the girl at our high school who made someone kill themselves.” (Jesus Christ, that is so dark.) D.D. seems mortified by this statement. Camille is angry, but not at Allison. “She came into my home and verbally assaulted me,” Camille says about Kyle.  (That’s so dramatic, but sure, Jan.)

The girls leave – poor Kim; Kyle makes her take a limo by herself because her house is “out of the way”, so she leaves alone while all of the other girls ride back together.  Adrienne says that the night was horrifying.

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Switching back to Camille’s house, Allison hasn’t finished her rant yet. “Kyle is an angry bitch. Know that.” She insinuates that Mauricio cheats on her with the nanny, and Camille fuels the fire by saying “It’s more than just the nanny.” She takes it back, and says, “I’m not saying he’s cheating. I’m just saying he really likes women.” God, Camille and Allison are disgusting human beings. They also call Taylor a “Sacrificial Lamb” and D.D. tells Camille that Taylor isn’t her friend. Camille agrees.

Kyle, Taylor, Adrienne, LVP and Faye decide to go to The Beverly Hills Hotel for a drink.  We leave with poor Kim in the limo alone, calling Kyle, who is ignoring her calls.

And that, my friends, is the iconic Dinner Party From Hell.

Fun Fact: Allison DuBois still does readings, in case you ever want to get read by her. LMAO.

xo

RHOBH: THE SHOW MUST GO ON

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We start off at Camille’s – it’s one week until her wedding, and she’s trying on her wedding dress for the first time.  I absolutely love it, so perfect for a tropical wedding in Hawaii! She looks gorgeous.

We’re all around Beverly Hills now – LVP is showing off her new kitchen to John Sessa.  (Her new kitchen is phenomenal – but please get that thirsty ass dude off of my screen! I can’t stand John Sessa.  He’s on another level.)  Erika is doing an interview prior to her show later that night at The Globe.  Over at Dorit’s, she and PK are talking about the camping trip, and they’re annoying me.  “Nothing about us is RV Holidays.”  Like you guys didn’t go real camping.  You want to know what real camping is?  Sleeping in a tent that took you like seven hours to pitch, spiders and moths surrounding your tent so you freak out and sleep in the car, and then it torrentially downpours and you have to trudge a half a mile in the mud to the bathroom at 3:00 AM.  Try that for “camping” and get back to me.  EYE ROLL.

Kyle, Rinna and Teddi are working out – they’re running around Kyle’s property, and then they head to her home gym.  They need to work off the calories they ate while they were camping. (This is beyond annoying to me – you never even ate Kyle! Give me a break, lmao.)  The girls are half working out, half chatting.  They talk bout the camping trip, and Teddi and Camille’s mini feud gets brought up.  “She went from prostate, to calling me a know it all,” Teddi says.  “You know why she said it though?” Kyle asks.  “Because of the Boy George concert.”  Teddi doesn’t think she was being a know it all during that situation, she just was sticking up for her friend.  She also doesn’t think she was being a know it all during camping – why isn’t she allowed to have an opinion?  I said this last week, and I’ll say it again.  Sometimes Teddi carries on when she should drop it, but I really don’t think I would say she was a “know-it-all”.  That’s dramatic.  I also think she should be allowed to have an opinion during a group conversation.

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I love Aaron and Denise so much.  Denise is going to Florida for work for a few days (acting) and Aaron is basically holding fort.  Denise stops by Sami’s friends house, because Sami is going to the homecoming dance that night.  Denise gets emotional while saying goodbye because she hates that she’s missing seeing her off.  Denise is just so real and authentic with us, and I can’t get enough of her.  She’s such a great addition to the show.  I love her relationship with Aaron, and with her children.  They’re my favorites.

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It’s the night of the show, and the girls are all arriving to see Erika Jayne.  Rinna’s hair is literally giving me life – this look is absolutely fabulous.  I’m obsessed.

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Mid performance, the music cuts out, and Erika is fucking livid.  I don’t blame her.  She is such a badass though – I mean, she’s live, and like the title says, the show must go on.  She keeps going, and the music comes back.  She put on an amazing performance.

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After the show, the girls all go backstage to see her. We rarely get to see Tom and Erika together, and I loved this.  He’s so supportive, and she’s just beaming from his approval.  I love them.

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The girls are all drunk and silly.  Kyle gives Mauricio a lap dance, and then Edwin asks Teddi where his is.  Teddi says that she already gave him a lap dance yesterday, and he lasted two minutes.  Apparently, she gave him a lap dance to “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, which Kyle and Dorit think is hilarious.

The next day, Kyle and Teddi take Portia and Slate with them for Mani/Pedi’s.  They talk about Camille’s wedding, and Kyle is freaking out because she doesn’t have her bridesmaid dress yet.  Teddi goes over the itinerary for the trip, and Kyle is just like “What?” She makes a joke that Camille should be grateful that Teddi’s a “know-it-all” because she actually does know the itinerary down pat for her weekend.

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Meanwhile, LVP calls up Camille and invites her over for tea, and she accepts.  Camille really wants Lisa to go to her wedding, but doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable with the other ladies.  She asks her point blank if she’ll go, and Lisa declines.  She does apologize, but she just can’t be around the other women at this point.  Camille tells her that she gets it, but she wants to make it right between Lisa and the other ladies – especially Kyle. LVP is adamant that none of the girls are her friends.  “You don’t treat friends like that.  What do I have to do to prove I’m not lying, take a lie detector test?”

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Honestly, this scene annoyed me, because Camille is being super understanding to LVP’s face, but then she’s in her confessional saying a totally different thing.  “This is not the Lisa that I knew,” she tells us.  Camille feels as though Lisa is being a victim, and she’s never been one to play the victim.  According to Camille, LVP is acting like an immature girl hiding from the truth.  Ummm, that’s a little harsh, Camille.

Then we’re presented with a screen that reads: 24 HOURS LATER – and LVP is literally being hooked up to a lie detector test.  This is so fucking dramatic I can’t.  I mean, really?  I’m not even just saying this because I absolutely hate lie detector tests – they’re not real!  If they’re not admissible in court, they’re not accurate.  It’s just like, this is so over the top.

This was a total filler episode, but next week, we have Camille’s wedding.

Until then….

xo

RHOBH: GRILLING ME SOFTLY

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We’re back in Beverly Hills, but we’re not staying here for long – we’re going camping! (Except this is literally not camping at all, these bitches are basically staying in hotel rooms.  They should’ve said Glamping.)  But anyway.

We start off with all of the girls packing (well, over packing), but I truly have never related more to Rinna in my life when she’s like, “I want to be extra prepared.”  I totally get that.  I pack the same way, even if it’s just for a night.

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The girls are all meeting up at Teddi’s house, since she has the RV.  It’s initially pretty awkward between Kyle and Dorit, which is understandable given the events of last weeks episode.  We do learn that PK has texted Kyle, and she’s decided to let the whole thing go, but things are still weird between Kyle and Dorit.

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They load up the RV, and then they’re off. We stop at the grocery store first – have these women ever been to a grocery store before?  I’m LOLing at Rinna – “I love a market.”  It’s like mayhem; everyone is just grabbing things off the shelf and throwing it in the cart.  They spend $700 – you guys, you’re going for one night!!!  They arrive at camp and decide who’s going to be rooming with who.  I’m LOLing also at Erika – she looks at Rinna with her huge ass bag and is like, “What the fuck is in this bag?  A body?  Vanderpump?” Dead.

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After everyone settles in, Erika goes to get a massage (again, this is not “camping” – I’m sorry, I had no masseuse on hand when I went camping) and the rest of the girls play beer pong.  Dorit is literally the beer pong champ – who would’ve thought? The girls are all having fun though, and it’s a nice break to see.

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This is also not what my “tent” looked like while camping.  LOL.

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Teddi and Dorit win the beer pong game, and then the girls all sit down to chat/drink.  Denise asks Kyle if she regrets her conversation with Lisa and Ken.  She doesn’t regret it, but she does regret the outcome. Dorit chimes in, and says, “I don’t understand how it turned that she’s angry with me.”  Teddi replies, “She was originally angry at you, Dorit.  That’s what you’re missing.  It was a passive aggressive punishment.”  (Fact.)  Erika rejoins the group, back from her massage, and they fill her in on the conversation.  She basically could careless about LVP.  Dorit says LVP “drew a line in the sand” in regards to their friendship, and Erika basically shrugs.  “I care about the women at this table,” she tells us.  “If you wanna be an asshole, go be a fucking asshole.”  I couldn’t agree more Erika!

The next day, the girls all go “rock climbing.”  Nothing about this is interesting to me – except, did Camille just say she used to wear a strap on with Kelsey? The fuck!?

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Back at camp, they start grilling, and it’s literally a disaster. Camille has been making petty comments about Teddi this entire episode in her confessional, and she’s annoyed that Teddi said she was “fired” from grill duty.  Like Camille, grow up.  Once the food is ready, the girls all sit down to eat.  Denise leaves this time to get a massage, and the rest of the girls are eating and chatting.  Of course LVP is brought up.  Camille says that she wants her at her wedding, and Teddi tells her that she should actually call her if she wants her there.  Again, in Camille’s confessional, she says that Teddi is a “know-it-all” and that it’s “irritating.”  Why is Teddi not allowed to have an opinion on a group conversation?

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Denise is back, and they somehow get on the topic of massages having happy endings.  We learn that Denise has had one, and she said when she met Aaron he had never had one, so she took him to get one, and Rinna and Teddi’s face in the picture above is everyone’s literal reaction to this news.  I am dead, lmao.  I love when Erika chimes in and is like, “I don’t know any man who’s never fucked a hooker.  I mean, Tom never said he did, but he was a young man once.”  I am dying.

The girls are all sitting around the fire, and Denise and Dorit go off to get drinks.  Camille comments to Kyle that things between herself and Dorit seem better, and Kyle says that they are, and divulges the information that PK reached out to her.  I don’t agree with Camille calling Teddi a know-it-all, but I don’t think she should’ve said anything at this point about this particular situation.  “Things don’t fly out of your mouth that you’re not thinking.  I’m sorry.”  Rinna agrees with Teddi and says, “That’s true.”  Kyle pipes in, “He was drinking though,” to which Teddi responds, “It was deliberate, not malicious.”  Rinna, forever a shit stirrer, says, “Maybe it was malicious.  Who knows?”

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Dorit and Denise are back, and Dorit asks, “What’s malicious?”  When she learns they’re talking about PK, she is visibly frustrated, and  I don’t blame her.  Why are we rehashing this!? Like let’s drop it, it’s over and done with.  The girls move away from the fire and over to the picnic table, where their conversation continues.  Teddi admits that she thinks PK was trying to be a dick, basically, which hurts Dorit’s feelings.  I understand where Dorit is coming from, and I also feel like just because Teddi feels a certain way at times, doesn’t mean she always has to say it.  Sometimes it’s better to just keep your thoughts to yourself and keep peace within the group.

Camille is beyond annoyed at this point, and she’s coming for Teddi.  She’s being super condescending to her, but denies it.  “You said you know everything,” Camille tells Teddi.  Erika looks at them both, confused, and then asks Teddi, “Did you say you’re a know-it-all?”  Teddi is like, “I never said that.”  Camille replies, “I said that she was a know it all to Denise.”  They banter back and forth, and it’s honestly stupid.  Teddi calls out Camille for talking behind her back but never having the balls to say it to her face, and Camille’s like, “My face is right here.”  (Lmao, I cannot.)  Dorit’s feeling emotional between what happened with LVP and her prior conversation with Kyle a few nights earlier, and Kyle apologizes for that.  They seem fine, and Teddi and Camille drop their argument as well.  Camille just thinks Teddi inserts herself into conversations where she doesn’t belong.

The girls head to bed, and the next morning, they pack up and head home.  Erika invites them all to her show that’s at The Globe Theatre, and we exit the show with all of the girls singing, “Kumbaya” in the RV.

Not a crazy episode, but I enjoyed the girls getting along for the most part, and Erika Jayne eating pumpkin pie for breakfast literally gave me life.

Until next week….

xo

RHOBH: EAT, DRINK AND BE MARRIED

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We start out with Erika & Mikey meeting up with the Pretty Mess Team to discuss Erika’s upcoming Pretty Mess Tour. They’re going over her set – they’re switching things up a bit, and they’re going to have multiple costume changes.  One of the outfits is basically an homage to that latex outfit Erika wore in Berlin (that flashback gives me life, LMAO.)  Erika is super excited, and I absolutely love seeing her in her element.

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Over at Haven & Co, Kyle, Dorit & Teddi are shopping for a wedding gift for Denise. They’re not sure what to get her.  Dorit tells us, “All I know is that she likes tequila.” LMAO.  Kyle’s disappointed that she’s going to miss the wedding – but not because she’s such a good friend, but because she can’t believe Denise managed to throw this together in 2 days, and she wants to see if it will be pulled off.  According to Kyle, this has “disaster” written all over it.  (I can feel myself turning on Kyle again, FYI.  I believe Lisa Rinna would call me a flip flopper.) Teddi tells us that her wedding was pretty low key, but still took 6 months to plan.  Of course Dorit had a lavish, over the top, Gatsby style wedding.  “We were living in LA, our wedding was going to be in NY, and our wedding planner was in London.”  Serious eye roll, stop it.

I know I said in past blogs that I saw a pattern with LVP, and while I do still see that, I’m also starting to see a pattern with Kyle.  Kyle seems to like this drama – why else is she constantly bringing LVP up? She tells Teddi that she’s going to see Lisa at Denise’s wedding – how does she feel about that?  Teddi’s not worried; she said her piece, and she feels like she and LVP can co-exist.  Kyle tells us in her confessional that she hates that her two good friends aren’t getting along.  (Why don’t I believe this?)  She says she tried getting LVP and Teddi to meet and talk, but neither of them were interested.  I mean….I would’ve believed Kyle if she hadn’t continuously filled Teddi’s ear with negative talk about LVP.  I don’t buy this.  I don’t understand why Kyle would have it out for LVP, but there’s something sketchy about this that I’m just not getting.

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Denise and Aaron are at Cypress Sea Cove, where they potentially hope to have their wedding. (Which is 2 days away, FYI, LMAO.)  They instantly fall in love, and they tell the coordinator that they’ll take it.  When he realizes how quickly they want to get married, his jaw drops.  I’m loving Denise you guys, she is seriously so friggen chill.

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Rinna’s in a hotel room, alone, and FaceTiming Denise. They’re talking about her wedding, and Rinna doesn’t think Denise is rushing into anything.  She talks about her own wedding with Harry Hamlin, and how they got married at their house, and everyone held a candle and the entire ceremony was lit by candlelight.  Rinna informs Denise she would not miss her wedding for the world, and she’s excited to see her.

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LVP & Ken are looking at kitchens – Lisa wants a new one; she hates her kitchen, she says it’s so dark and dreary and depressing. I am LOLing at LVP trying to sell the idea to Ken – a new kitchen would make her so happy and she needs to be surrounded by pretty, positive things.   It would also increase the value of the house, LMAO. A new kitchen is good for the soul.  Preach, Lisa.  The kitchen she’s looking at is absolutely gorgeous. She gets it.

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It’s the night before the wedding, and Denise doesn’t even have her dress yet, yet she’s still so chill and so calm. I legit aspire to be Denise Richards – her carefree attitude is so refreshing, I wish I could be this way.  I love that Denise invited Charlie – she invites him to anything involving the kids, which I think is wonderful co-parenting.  “Even if he brought a prostitute as his date, I wouldn’t care.”  DEAD, LMAO.  Denise does share with us that she’s sad her Mom won’t be there – her mom passed some years ago, and she wants to light a candle in honor of her.  Very sweet.  Aaron’s only qualm is that they didn’t tell her daughters sooner – Denise tells us in her confessional that she waited to tell the girls because she was afraid her teenage daughters would judge her, LOL.  Sami and Lola are both totally fine with it, and Eloise clearly loves Aaron.  Aaron is the absolute sweetest – when he gave the girls necklaces, I was basically crying.  I love this family.

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It’s the day of the wedding, and everyone is arriving. Erika & Rinna come together, and Erika is wearing one of Rinna’s QVC jumpers.  I love it, I think she looks so chic and simple, and pretty.  Rinna’s dress is a little bit crazy, but it’s totally her – floral print/leopard print mixture.  The girls are all looking pretty, but it’s clear to me there was no dress code for this event.  Everyone’s wearing totally different looks.  Teddi’s look is my favorite – I feel like she’s the most appropriately dressed for a beach wedding.

Teddi tells us she is not having any drama today. “I can ruin a 50th birthday party, but a wedding!?  Come on.”  LMAO.

Meanwhile, Denise is still at her house, late for her own wedding. But she literally doesn’t care and is just going with the flow and I love it.

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LVP arrives, and I’m honestly uncomfortable watching her make her rounds with the girls. Everyone is so fake in Beverly Hills.  Those double cheek kisses kill me.  I get it, it’s a wedding, and you’re all going to be polite and cordial, but it’s just so phony and gross.  LVP playfully smacks Rinna’s ass, and Rinna tells us that she “doesn’t have any beef with LVP right now” (that’s weird – you’ve been out to get her all season, but you have no beef with her?) and that “LVP is obsessed with her.”  Okay, I love Rinna, but come on – LVP is so far from obsessed with you.  It might be the other way around.

Teddi catches wind that it’s past 2:00 PM, and that’s when the ceremony was supposed to start. I’m actually LOLing at Dorit – “Denise, you’re on her radar.”  She calls Teddi the Punctuality Police.

At Denise’s house, she’s almost ready to go. One of her daughters can’t walk in her heels, and Denise is like, “Well, they’re Louboutin’s, so you have to figure it out.”  Her daughter asks if she can wear sneakers, and Denise is literally like, “Yeah, I don’t give a shit, wear whatever you want.”  I seriously love her.  Denise Richards is a breath of fresh air.

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Everyone at the wedding is freaking out that Denise is so late because they’re all sweating and melting, LMAO. Denise arrives shortly after, and everyone is totally relieved.

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I love love love this wedding. I totally feel Denise when she  says she doesn’t like being the center of attention, so she’s glad she’s walking down the aisle as a group.  Sami and Lola go first (and yes, one of them, sorry, can’t remember which one, is in fact, wearing sneakers) and then Aaron, Denise & Eloise walk down the aisle and I’m crying.

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Overall, the wedding is gorgeous. The ladies all got along, and Dorit feels like she and LVP are finally moving on and moving past all the dog drama.  LVP, however, does not feel the same way.  She was basically cordial because they were all at a wedding, but she actually feels like the girls owe her an apology, and she didn’t get one.

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The wedding is over, and Dorit and PK are at home, getting ready for bed. Dorit’s on her phone, and she gasps at what she sees.  There’s an article on Radar saying that LVP feels betrayed and stabbed in the back by friend Dorit Kemsley, after she dropped her dog off at a shelter.  Dorit is appalled – “This is untrue!”  She goes on to read more, and she’s convinced that Lisa is the one who leaked this story.  She knows that Lisa has a relationship with Radar, and the article mentions that Lucy was a Chihuahua Mix, and only LVP and her team knew that.  (I think anyone who saw the dog could have guessed Lucy’s breed, but that’s just my opinion.)  The article also states that Lucy “nipped” at Dorit’s children, and PK points out that “nipped” is an English word.  (We’re really reaching right now, you guys.)

While I do still believe Lisa set up Teddi to punish Dorit – I truly do not believe she leaked the article.  I think if anyone did, it was probably someone from Vanderpump Dogs – I’m guessing John Sessa.  I just don’t feel like LVP would need to.  The story was already out there, going to Radar would be so unnecessary, and way too obvious.  I do feel somewhat bad for Dorit – I don’t believe Dorit mistreated the dog, and I don’t believe she brought the animal to a kill shelter.  But at the end of the day, literally none of this would have happened if Dorit followed the protocol of Vanderpump Dogs and brought Lucy back to them.  End of story.  It was so refreshing to not talk about Puppy Gate for majority of the episode, that I can’t even get into this anymore right now.

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Next week looks explosive…it’s the scene we saw in the first episode, the massive fight between LVP and Kyle, when LVP kicks Kyle out of her house. (Literally all I can hear in my mind right now is Ronnie  & Ben’s voices from the podcast Watch What Crappens yelling, “GOODBYE, KYLE!” in their Ken voice.  If you don’t listen to them, you should.  Also, they’re selling merch right now that says “Goodbye Kyle” on it, and I feel like I need to go shop on their site.  Also, this is not an ad, I just truly love Watch What Crappens.)

Anyway….what do you guys think? Who leaked the story?

Until next week….

xo