PUMP RULES: S8 E1 – THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Pump Rules is back y’all! I’ve been so excited for this, and as far as first episodes go, this isn’t a bad season opener.

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We first see Lisa – she talks to us about friendships, and how she thought they we’re so solid. We get a couple of clips of Jax fighting with Sandoval, and The Witches of WeHo arguing. Lisa then tells us that we have some newcomers, and they are bringing just as much drama as their predecessors. We get clips of the newbies fighting, and pretty much everyone bugging out. Then we begin.

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We start out at TomTom – both Tom’s arrive in the sidecar. We learn that TomTom is thriving and has been open now for almost a year. Schwartz thinks it’s because they’ve hired such great workers. We meet Max, who is the general manager, and Dayna, who is either a hostess or a server – unsure which one. Schwartz says Max is the glue who holds everything together, and Dayna is so good at her job that she’s being trained by Lisa to work at Sur. We learn that Dayna has apparently hooked up with Max – last night. (I’m trying to give the newbies a chance but I just don’t care about Dayna or Max. I’ll try to be more open-minded, I promise!)

Over at Sur, we learn that Raquel is now a server. (Or is it surver? Whatever, LOL.) Brett is new too, and is also a server. Scheana is hanging all over him in typical Scheana fashion. She’s loving being the HBIC at Sur right now. Lisa is at Sur and asks Raquel how she’s doing. I’m dying when Raquel says that she feels like being in pageants really helps her as a server. Lmao – Lisa’s like, “That’s a new one.” Lisa also asks about James. Raquel says it’s triggering for him that she works there. Like obviously, Raquel. I think it’s super insensitive of her – but anything to be on the show, right?

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Scheana introduces Brett to Jax. We learn that Jax is basically the only one working at Sur – Katie, Lala, Brittany & Ariana no longer work there. Jax teases Scheana and asks her if she’s dating Brett. Scheana’s like, “No, we just met!” But they have hooked up. Brett tells us in his confessional that they kissed – and it wasn’t what he expected. A producer asks, “Are you saying she’s a bad kisser?” And he says yes! What a total dick! We also find out that Scheana hasn’t spoken to Adam at all, but she did briefly date Max, the GM at TomTom – but he ghosted her.

Switching back to TomTom, we watch Max and Dayna have a super awkward convo about their hookup the night before. Sorry – don’t get the Max appeal here? He looks like a tool and also seems like a total fuckboy. 🤷🏼‍♀️ We go back over to Sur, and Scheana asks Jax about his upcoming wedding. He talks about how things have been really weird with Sandoval – he said Sandoval’s been ignoring him, and he “demoted” him to a groomsman because he knows he has a lot going on. Jax says it like he’s doing Sandoval a favor, but I don’t buy that for a second. Jax is annoyed with Sandoval and is now being petty. Switching back to TomTom, Sandoval feels like Jax is not coming from a good place by demoting him.

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Stassi and Beau dine at TomTom. Stassi tells us how she is a NY Times Bestselling author (yay!) but she’s currently having a hard time because her grandmother just passed away. Poor Stassi, I feel so bad for her! Lisa greets her, and Beau goes to say hi to the guys while Lisa and Stassi chat. Lisa is proud of Stassi – though she can’t remember the name of her book, lmao. “She’s a bestselling bitch!” She asks about her friends, and Stassi confides in Lisa that she’s annoyed with Kristen. She says that Kristen has been talking about her Katie, because they’ve called her out for saying she’s broken up with Carter when they’re still living together, hanging out and sleeping together. She feels like Kristen is lying to her. Stassi thinks she may have outgrown Kristen and their friendship – she doesn’t feel like Kristen is growing as a person.

At Stassi and Beau’s, Stassi is writing her grandmothers eulogy, and is nervous about it. This somehow gets her in to talking about how at her funeral she wants it to be like a haunted house, and she also wants to be taxidermied so everyone can take selfies with her corpse. Lmaooooo, literally dead. I love that Beau just nods and goes along with her, and then tells us he finds it really creepy, but he just smiles. Stassi mentions that they’ll be missing Tom & Katie’s housewarming party because they’ll be at her grandmothers funeral. We know that Tom & Katie, Jax & Brittany, and Tom & Ariana have all moved to Valley Village, CA, and basically all have cookie cutter houses.

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We go back and forth between all three couples in Valley Village. Tom tells Ariana how he was annoyed with Jax. Tom & Ariana buying a house together is a huge step for them and their relationship, because Ariana doesn’t care about getting married and does not want kids. Tom felt like Jax kept one-upping him about the house and “shitting all over it.” Ariana says that Jax “can’t help himself.”

Meanwhile, Jax is telling Brittany that him and Sandoval don’t really have that much in common anymore. “I’m getting married next month,” Jax says. Brittany says that she does wish Tom Sandoval would reach out to Jax more.

Tom & Katie are talking about their housewarming party and who is coming. Schwartz wants to make sure it’s okay with Kristen first before inviting Carter.

Back at Stassi’s, she tells us that Kristen is also moving to Valley Village, though it seems like her house may be further away from the other three couples. Stassi tells Beau she wants to see Kristen before they leave. She doesn’t care if Kristen is back with Carter, she just wants her to be honest about it.

Lala heads over to Villa Rosa to meet with Lisa. Lala is 7 months sober! (Yaaass girl!!!) Lala says she never wants to go back to the girl she was. She seems to be in a really good place. She tells Lisa that she did reach out to James, and she misses his friendship. You can tell Lisa feels for James, but she tells Lala, “he has to get sober.” They talk some more about how Lala would like to help volunteer at Vanderpump Dogs. (I would personally like to see Lala on RHOBH, but that’s just my opinon!)

Stassi heads over to Kristen’s apartment, and it’s obvious Kristen is upset. Stassi calls her out, and Kristen feels like if Stassi and Katie were truly her friends they would accept her situation without question. Stassi says she doesn’t care if she is with Carter, just to stop saying she is going through a break up if she’s not. Kristen is moving in a week, and she tells Stassi that Carter isn’t moving with her. (Stassi thanks the Breakup Gods, LOL.) Kristen tells us in her confessional that she did break up with Carter, but she can’t just “cut him completely off.” Sorry, I’m with Stassi on this one. That’s not a break up then. Stassi is happy to hear that Carter won’t be moving into Kristen’s new house, and they hug it out.

It’s the night of Tom & Katie’s Housewarming Party. (I’m dying at Schwartz in his mumu, lmao.) We meet Logan, who is also a server? Sorry, someone correct me if I’m wrong, please. Peter is there, and he pulls Dayna aside. I’m DEAD when we learn that Dayna is one of the chicks from the boys hotel party last season! Peter says he didn’t want things to be awkward between them, and Dayna’s like, “Why would they be?” Peter says they kissed in the bathroom, and Dayna denies it. Awkward AF. (I think Dayna did kiss Peter, but is denying it now because she likes Max. Just a thought.) Dayna is eyeing Scheana and Max suspiciously – she hears Scheana mention that Max is going to her Palm Springs house the following weekend, and is super jelly. What did you expect, girl? I’m shaking my head.  Jax asks Kristen where her boyfriend is, and she says, “He’s not my boyfriend.”  Cue Carter walking in, and greeting Kristen like a significant other.

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Max and Brett are talking in the kitchen about Scheana.  Max totally downplays his relationship with Scheana (I mean, maybe it really wasn’t one) and Brett acts like he is annoyed by the fact Scheana “hangs all over him.”  Max calls her boy crazy.  Katie overhears all of this, and runs into the other room to tell Scheana.  Scheana confronts them, and is pissed.  “You’re the one who pursued me,” she tells Max.  She doesn’t get why Max is talking is about her – she thought that they were in a really good place and are like “best friends.”  Max totally doesn’t own anything he just said and immediately apologizes.  Scheana literally cries and is like, “I’m not boy crazy!” LMAO. Max and Scheana hug it out, while Dayna creepily watches and pouts.

Lala and Katie are chatting about Kristen and Carter.  Apparently, Kristen has been calling the girls super upset about her “breakup” with Carter.

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Meanwhile, Max ends up pulling Dayna aside.  Because Dayna is now leaving TomTom to start working at Sur, he wants to hang out with her.  He has a thing about having a work romance.  (He didn’t want he banged her a few nights ago though, right?) Dayna asks if he anything is going on with Scheana – she admits she overheard that he’s going to her Palm Springs house.  Max says he is going, but not alone, and nothing is going on with Scheana.

Lala decides she is going to confront Carter.  She calls him out for all the shit he’s put Kristen though, and Carter comes back saying that Kristen still calls him all the time, and he just helped her earlier that day doing a photoshoot.  He said if Kristen wanted him fully gone, he would be gone. Kristen can see Carter and Lala from her spot inside the house, and is starting to freak out.

Jax and Sandoval finally talk. Sandoval tells him how he felt – that Jax was being a one-upper.  Jax brings up the wedding, and says he feels like Sandoval hasn’t reached out to him.  Lmao at Tom with the receipts.  He pulls out his cell phone and is like, “Jax, I’ve texted you!” Jax doesn’t really say much back to that.  Sandoval admits he was hurt he was demoted from Best Man, and Jax admits that he did that just to “get his attention.”  Jax basically re-asks Sandoval if he would be his Best Man, and Sandoval replies that he would be honored.  Then they hug it out.  (Lmao, I honestly really love this friendship, so I’m going to be upset if we find out they’re not friends any longer IRL.)

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Kristen is pissed that Lala confronted Carter.  She goes off on her, and is super aggressive, calling her a bitch.  Lala is pissed and is like, “Baby girl, I’m here for you! Don’t talk to me like that.”  Lala feels like Kristen is treating her like she treats Stassi and Katie, which infuriates Kristen even more. This makes Katie intervene, and Katie honestly is a total bitch to Kristen.  She’s yelling literally in her ear, and it’s just unneccessary.  Brittany gets involved and tries to get everyone to talk it out and make up, but it’s not happening.  Kristen leaves crying.

We get a clip of what’s to come this season, and it looks absolutely wild.

Thoughts!?

Until next week!

RHOBH: SUN & SHADE IN THE BAHAMAS

We’re in The Bahamas, at Baha Mar. What a gorgeous resort. The girls are all heading to their rooms, and they plan on meeting at Dorit’s suite later that night to have drinks on her balcony.

LVP is rooming with Dorit after all. They’re out on the balcony talking to each other, when Dorit asks, “Are you happy to be good friends with me?” Lisa loves to tease Dorit, and responds, “Yes, because right now I’m reaping the benefits.” Dorit doesn’t find this funny. She’s paranoid that LVP is holding a grudge about Puppy Gate (that’s what I’m calling this from now on) and I can’t say her paranoia is misplaced.

Teddi & Kyle are chatting in their room that they’re sharing. Teddi shares with Kyle that she’s getting along with Dorit better. Jagger & Cruise (Teddi & Dorit’s children) have bonded, and they’ve both set their own differences aside for their kids.

Back over on Dorit’s balcony, she tells us & Lisa that she’s so glad Lisa came on the trip, and she’s happy that they can connect. I do believe Dorit does feel terrible about Puppy Gate, and she just wants things to go back to normal with LVP.

Switching back over to Teddi & Kyle – they discuss the jabs LVP was throwing towards Dorit on the PJ, and how they believe Dorit’s feelings were hurt. Neither of them believe LVP is over Puppy Gate.

The Girls are all getting ready for drinks, and Rinna is the first to arrive at Dorit & LVP’s suite.

Can I just say I fucking love Denise? These bitches faces when she walks in her white tank & white shorts – so snobby! Except for Camille, who is such a sweetheart. (“I love your shorts!”) I’m LOLing when Denise tells us, “I packed the wrong shit, I learned that quickly.” I totally get where she’s coming from – you’re having drinks on a balcony with the girls. I would’ve worn cute pajamas, but that’s just me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Kyle & LVP are talking off to the side, and LVP is emotional when she tells Kyle that she should make up with her sisters. We learn that Kyle & Kim are okay, but Kyle & Kathy are not. Rinna joins them, and LVP tells them both that Elvis, her butler, is going to bring his cat to her room. Kyle comments and says, “Maybe that’s why Dorit had an allergic reaction, is she allergic to cats?” (Side note: earlier in the episode, Dorit apparently had an allergic reaction to something, we don’t know what. She took Benadryl & was fine.) Lisa Vanderpump says, “I don’t know, we should find out.” Then fucking Kyle blurts out, “Maybe she’s allergic to dogs.” I literally yelled ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KYLE at the tv screen at this point. Cause that wasn’t premeditated at all! (Insert eye roll.) Rinna comments how it just got really quiet, and wants to know what’s going on. LVP is keeping quiet, but Kyle can’t let it go. “Are you still mad at her?” Kyle asks LVP, referring to Dorit. Rinna is completely in the dark, or at least she’s pretending to be. They end the conversation and join the other girls.

Kyle – WTF is your end game here?

The next morning, Kyle & Teddi are in their room and they’re talking about the night before. Kyle tells Teddi that “Dorit’s dog came up” and it’s like, yes, Lucy did come up – because of you. Rinna joins them, and then they both fill her in on the entire Puppy Gate scandal.

I honestly do get what Rinna was saying – I do believe LVP was trying to set up Teddi &/or Kyle. I think she’s still pissed at Dorit, and wanted a way to get this out there without having to dirty her own hands. The entire situation at Vanderpump Dogs the day Teddi & Kyle visited was bizarre. If LVP didn’t want it talked about, I guarantee you it wouldn’t have been brought up. I actually think LVP had John Blizzard tell Teddi via text, knowing she could use it against her later. However, I don’t think Kyle is innocent in all of this – she was intent on talking about it.

The girls boat off to some private island, and they’re all having a blast. LVP & Denise are getting massages and bonding over the fact that they both adopted children, which was a heartwarming moment. The rest of the girls are swimming and drinking and just having a good time.

Rinna really came to play this season. The girls all sit down for lunch, and Rinna tells the group that Dorit brought them all on the trip to address anything that needs to be addressed. (Stir that pot Lisa.) She wants the girls to go around the table and say who has an issue about what, etc. (Lmao, only Rinna.) She tells us, “It opens up conversations.” To which Camille replies, “Or it could open up Pandora’s Box.” Camille still goes along with it though, and she brings up the fact that she had issues with Dorit last year (does “Camille you’re a stupid cunt” ring a bell?) but she’s moved past that and she’s enjoying her time and thanks Dorit for inviting her.

Dorit brings up the issues she’s had with Teddi, and how they’re both working on moving past it and how their sons became fast friends.

Erika has nothing to say, she’s good, and then it’s over to LVP. She tells us it’s just nice to be amongst friends….but-”

If she’s being absolutely honest, she has to address the fact that Erika didn’t call her when her brother passed, she sent a sympathy card/note. This is beyond ridiculous. Erika & LVP are NOT friends. They work together and film a TV show together, and have the same group of friends. Erika was not obligated to call Lisa. A sympathy card 100% suffices. Erika is pissed at being called out, and rightfully so. She pretty much tells LVP off, and tells her to not try to make her out to be the bad guy. Lisa gets emotional, and she tells Erika she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. They do make up, and the awkwardness disappears.

Later that night, the girls are getting ready to go to dinner. Rinna stops by Erika’s room, and they talk about what went down at lunch. Erika says she doesn’t understand what happened at the table today, and Rinna agrees. Erika pulls out her phone and shows Rinna a picture of the card she gave to LVP. “Bitch, you come with receipts!” 😂😂

The girls are at dinner at Cleo’s, and they’re all chatting and enjoying each other. (We learn that Teddi was going to be named BabyDoll LMAO, & Kyle was supposed to be a boy, so she was named after a football player.) Rinna & Dorit get up to go to the bathroom, and Kyle takes this opportunity to confront LVP.

“I’m feeling really weird about all the side convos right now about the dog.”

Erika chimes in and immediately is like, “I don’t want to know this.” Teddi says that she & Kyle didn’t want to know it either. Teddi then asks LVP if Dorit knows that they know about the situation, and LVP tells her that Dorit knows that she knows, not Kyle. Teddi looks anxious & exasperated.

Rinna & Dorit are back from the bathroom, but the conversation doesn’t stop. Teddi says that she felt anxious, because she felt like she wasn’t truthful to Dorit.

Dorit clams up and says she doesn’t want to go to a bad place.

Teddi tells her side of the story – which is the truth. Everything she says is accurate – Teddi & Kyle were at Vanderpump Dogs, and John Blizzard and John Sessa brought out Lucy.

Dorit looks absolutely horrified. Rinna tells LVP that she should’ve shut it down, and LVP shoots back, “I have 400 employees, I can’t control what they all say and do.” (Bullshit.) In LVPs confessional, she tells us that the situation wouldn’t have happened at all if Dorit handled it properly. I agree with that 100%, however, I don’t believe LVP is as innocent as she’s pretending to be.

Dorit begins to re-explain herself, and at the end of table, Denise looks confused. “I don’t even know what these bitches are fighting about.” Lmao.

The girls are all arguing their own points, and then Rinna jumps in. She turns to LVP and says, “This wouldn’t get out there if you didn’t want it to. It’s a set up.”

I can’t say I disagree with Rinna on that. LVP tells Dorit that she doesn’t believe for a second she had any ill intent, however, the dog should’ve been returned to her from the get go. LVP is not wrong.

Dorit becomes upset, and Teddi, Kyle & Rinna comfort her, while LVP asks, “Why is Dorit upset?”

LVP also says that she had no idea Teddi would be gossiping about it, which is complete bullshit. Teddi’s had enough and she storms off, leaving us with a cliff hanger.

Honestly, I’m over talking about Puppy Gate and it’s only the 3rd episode. Do I think LVP is mad at Dorit and wants to punish her? Yes. Do I think LVP tried to use Teddi and Kyle as scapegoats? Yes. Do I think Kyle wanted to get this out in the open for whatever reason during this trip? Yes. Do I think Dorit was wrong for not just giving Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs to begin with? Yes.

However, this entire situation is so overly dramatic. I understand that Lisa is grieving, but this could’ve been shut down a long time ago. If LVP was mad at Dorit, which she clearly is, then just fucking own it! She would have every right to be mad at her. What Dorit did was wrong. Good intentions or not, Lucy still ended up at a shelter. But LVP insisted she wasn’t mad at Dorit, so in that case, stop talking about it.

What a shit show.

Next week, we see Ken has printed out texts between Teddi & John Blizzard (I think), and I’m just like shaking my head. Ken is such a chick, please give me a break.

God, this episode was utterly exhausting. My highlight was living vicariously through Erika Jayne and her 70 inch pony tail and fabulous Glam Squad.

Until next week…..

RHOBH: EAT YOUR HEART OUT

Not going to lie, I feel like this episode was totally a filler episode, which is honestly unacceptable this early on in the season. But I will say that I love Erika Jayne so much, and watching her gives me genuine joy. Anyway.

We start out with Kyle meeting LVP at Villa Rosa. They head out to Epione, where Lisa “rejuvenates her neck.” Honestly, this scene made me sad, because we know that in real time, Lisa & Kyle aren’t speaking. I feel like they truly do have a good friendship, it seems sincere to me & they always have fun together. They’re being silly; Lisa gets laughing gas before getting the fillers, and they’re just having a good time. It feels as though they’re totally good one on one, but can’t handle being friends with everyone else around.

Erika meets Rinna & Dorit for lunch. Erika orders a beer – whatever they have in a bottle, and Dorit loves this. She starts reminiscing on old times, where she did “keg handstands” when she was 16. (Isn’t it just called a keg stand? LOL.) Dorit fills Rinna in on the robbery – and somewhat of the Lucy situation. She tells Lisa that she can’t even talk about the dog situation. It’s clearly bothering her. Dorit also suggests a Girls Trip.

They talk about possible places they could go (Erika nonchalantly saying, “I think we have a place in Tahoe” is giving me life 😂) and they end up settling on The Bahamas.

Over at Denise’s, we’re learning more about her and her family. She has three daughters, Sami, who we see in this scene, Lola, and Eloise. Sami and Lola’s Dad is Charlie Sheen, and Eloise, the youngest at age 7, was adopted. Denise actually addresses that there was a rumor that Eloise was Charlie’s daughter, that he had with a hooker. She says it’s untrue. They have a beautiful house on the beach in Malibu, and Denise’s boyfriend, Aaron, also lives with them. Denise and Aaron have been together for a year.

Denise asks Sami about Homecoming – Sami says she hasn’t been asked, but she’s going if she does get asked. Denise tells her she can’t date until she’s 16, and that her father would agree with her. Sami calls her dad (Charlie) right then and there to ask him, and I love his response that he would trust her judgment about who she would go with. Denise disagrees, but we don’t talk about the conversation any further.

At Dorit’s, we watch her telling PK that she is planning a Girls Trip, and is going to invite everyone. Yes, even Teddi! Dorit says that she wants to give Teddi a chance – their arguments have all been trivial, and she’s ready to move on. PK asks if she’s going to invite LVP, to which Dorit replies, “Of course.” It’s obvious Dorit is fretting about the Lucy situation – she tells us in her confessional that she just hopes Lisa knows that she had good intentions. She wants to move forward with that situation also.

I have to say, you guys, PK was kinda sorta growing on me in this scene. I know – like WTF!? I don’t know – he just seemed really supportive of Dorit & it was nice. I’m sure I’ll change my mind next week, but for now, I’m okay with PK. 😂 (Please don’t roast me.)

Teddi & Rinna meet, and they’re going on a hike/walk. Teddi tells Lisa about a role she just played in a movie. She says that she wanted to be an actress when she was younger, but her manager told her she had to lose weight if she wanted to get a role, which crushed her. Hearing Teddi talk about her struggle with food was very relatable to me, and is probably relatable to a lot of people. Teddi said that “food was her best friend” – she was an emotional eater. I understand that feeling completely. Honestly, Teddi is inspiring to me. I feel like I need an accountability coach, and I wish I lived in LA so she could be mine. Also I give her so much credit for all of her hard work and determination. It’s so motivating. You go girl.

Kyle visits Mauricio at work, and she gets emotional when she talks about the fact that Sophia is leaving for college. Mauricio is really sweet – he reassures Kyle. I understand where Kyle’s coming from – I’m not a mom, but I think a lot also has to do with change. It’s hard.

At Rinna’s, she’s taking to her daughter Amelia, who has opened up about the fact she had an eating disorder. Amelia seems wise beyond her years to me. She addresses the disorder and says, “I’m not out of it. I’ll never be out of it.” Which is true of anyone who has an eating disorder, addiction, mental health issue – you can get through it, but it’s still something you battle for the rest of your life. Amelia is very strong and very mature, especially seeing that she’s only 17.

Lisa Rinna is having the girls over to do some baking/pastry making/I don’t really know what. LVP & Kyle aren’t coming – Kyle is doing a Tequila Tasting w/Mauricio (did I hear that right?) and Rinna says that Giggy is sick.

Cut to LVP & Ken – she meets him at the restaurant for lunch, and she tells us she’s just too emotional to go over to Rinna’s and put on a happy face when it’s just a facade. Totally understandable. Lisa tells Ken about the girls trip, and he thinks that Lisa should go. Lisa admits she could use the break but is worried about leaving, especially with Giggy being sick. We learn that Giggy needs a pace maker and my heart breaks. Poor little babe. Lisa also brings up Dorit, and tells Ken – “Sometimes Dorit calls it wrong.” She tells us in her confessional that she thinks Dorit handled the Lucy situation all wrong – but she loves her anyway. (Side note: If all of this is true, then why the hell are we still talking about!?)

Back at Rinna’s, the girls are all getting along and being silly. We learn that Aaron, Denise’s boyfriend, is currently still married to Nicolette Sheridan. She tells us that they’ve been separated for two years but their divorced isn’t finalized, and they’re getting married as soon as it is. We then learn that once upon a time Harry Hamlin was also married to Nicolette Sheridan. LMAO, did not know that. I’m not sure if Rinna says she cheated on him with Michael Bolton, but we all cheers to him, so that’s that.

The girls are all ready to go to The Bahamas – they’re off in the PJ. I actually really liked Dorit in this scene, she was so excited to be the one who planned the trip.

She tells LVP she wants to share a suite with her, and LVP says she’s not sharing a room with anyone. LVP is a tricky one sometimes. I honestly feel like this was Dorit extending an olive branch to her, and then they could be alone, off camera, and have a chance to talk and clear the air, and make things right between them again.

However, after LVP says she’s not sharing with anyone, she asks Kyle if she can stay in a three person suite with her. (Something along those lines, I might have the wording wrong.) Kyle then sticks up for Dorit, who looks hurt.

LVP says that Dorit snores, and I can’t tell if she’s just poking fun at Dorit and trying to be silly, or if she’s actually just being a bitch and this is her way of trying to get back at her.

Next week, shit looks like it’s about to go down. And I cannot wait.

Tell me all your thoughts! Leave me a comment.

Until next week….

PUMP RULES: ICE QUEENS

I took a small hiatus, but I’m back! And #PumpRules is also back, w/Stassi & Ariana’s (aka, The Ice Queens) Birthday! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

We start out at The Dog House, where LVP is hosting an event to stop the Yulin Dog Meat Festival. The whole crew is there, and they have tattoos on their cheeks that say “Stop the Torture”. They’re taking pictures with LVP’s pups, and uploading them to social media in hopes to spread the word and stop the Yulin Festival from happening.

Jax tells the group that he talked to Sandoval, and heard that James had gotten fired from Sur. This news thrills Kristen. “The Sur Goddesses are shining down on me.” (Honestly, I find Kristen’s hatred for James very extreme. It’s a little much.) James shows up, a little later than the rest of the group. We learn that he knows Lisa fired him, but he plans on getting his job back, and he would never miss this event. Meanwhile, Scheana is telling Brittany & Jax that she has to sneak out early because she has a happy hour date with Adam. Britt wants to know what’s going on with her & Adam – and Scheana basically says that they’re kind of seeing where it’s going, nothing serious. I’m LOLing at Jax in his confessional, because he is absolutely right – “Scheana only has one speed – psycho stalker girlfriend.”

Ariana & Stassi are chatting, and they both decide it’s for the best if James doesn’t attend their joint birthday party. Ariana is torn, because she’s friends with James, but she also knows it’s Stassi’s party too, and her BFFs (Katie & Kristen) would not feel comfortable with him there. We see LVP pull James aside, and she tells him that he needs a major shift in his attitude. James assures Lisa he will change. When he leaves Lisa, Ariana calls him over to talk with her and Stassi. She starts off by saying that some people wouldn’t feel comfortable with him at the party, and before she can say anything else James cuts her off and asks, “So you’re disinviting me?” Stassi immediately speaks up and takes the blame, but James doesn’t care. He brings up how Katie just got him fired – to which Stassi shoots, “No, you got yourself fired.” James is done with the conversation, and he tells us in his confessional that he thought Ariana was a leader, not a follower, but he was wrong.

Over at the Tina K. Salon, Brittany & Lala are getting “Booty Smoothies”, which is basically a facial for your butt. Lala asks Britt if anyone has said anything to her about “being worried.” Brittany asks, “About Jax?” And Lala says yes. When Britt tells her no, Lala admits that Sandoval & Ariana had expressed some concern that Jax could eventually go back to his old ways. Brittany’s feelings are hurt – she truly sees a change in Jax, and she’s surprised that Tom & Ariana would say that.

Stassi and Beau are really cute. I’m so happy that Stassi is in a healthy relationship where she can be herself. It’s so refreshing to see, especially after watching how Patrick treated her last year. They’re both just hanging out, and Stassi is basically going on a rant about turning 30, and how she feels like she’s actually a woman. (LMAO, as someone who just turned 30 last month, I totally get this.)

At Scheana’s new apartment in Marina Del Ray, Adam is helping her put together a daybed. Basically the entire scene is Scheana trying to coax Adam into sleeping with her, which we learn, he is not. I just wanna shake Scheana and tell her to stop. 🤦🏼‍♀️ She’s such a pretty girl, she doesn’t have to act so ridiculously desperate.

Lisa is at TomTom, and James’s Mother, Jacqueline, comes to meet her. Lisa called her because she basically wants her to step up and help her son go down the right path. This scene was extremely hard to watch, and it’s easy to see why James thinks it’s okay to speak to women the way he does, based on his Mothers responses to Lisa’s concerns. Lisa tells Jacqueline that James has an unbelievable disrespect for women – to which Jacqueline replies, “When women come at my son, where does he go to?” Lisa must be as shocked as I am, because she tries a different approach. “He’s drinking-” Lisa starts, but Jacqueline cuts her off. “Stop right there, that’s not what we’re talking about right now.” Clearly, Jacqueline just doesn’t wanna hear it, or deal with it. This doesn’t deter Lisa though. “He’s a different person.” Jacqueline says she understands, but when women are attacking him, how does he defend himself? “Not like that!” Lisa exclaims. (Preach!). Jacqueline continues to make excuses for his son. “People provoke him, Lisa! He’s 26 years old.” Lisa realizes she isn’t getting through to her, so she just drops the bombshell that she hopes will wake Jacqueline up – James has been fired. Jacqueline is very upset – she wants to know what he did to get let go. Lisa literally tells her that he’s calling other coworkers sluts and whores, and Jacqueline wants to know “what set him off”? Is this for real? Lisa has had enough and she basically tells Jacqueline what’s up. Jacqueline begs Lisa to give James back Tuesday Nights, but Lisa cannot agree to that, though it clearly upsets her. Jacqueline tells Lisa, “You’re his Mother Figure.” “No,” Lisa tells her, “You’re his Mother Figure. I need you to be strong for your son.”

Stassi, Kristen and Katie are shopping for The Winter Party, and they’re just basically talking about Stassi turning 30. Stassi has an epiphany – “I’m not gunna be able to have meltdowns anymore.” (LMAO.)

The Toms are at Lisa’s – Schwartz goes to count shirts, and Lisa has a chat with Sandoval about James. Lisa thinks that between herself, Sandoval & James’s Mother, Jacqueline, the three of them could really help him change. Lisa tells Sandoval, “He may not work for me anymore, but I’m not going to desert him.” I honestly can understand Lisa’s desire to help him – while I don’t think James’s behavior is okay, I do feel sorry for him in a way. I think he had a hard childhood and really had to fend for himself. I’m not saying it excuses his behavior, but I do think he needs help, and I don’t think he has many other people in his life who are there for him.

We’re setting up for the party, and the girls are getting ready. Stassi and Ariana decide to dress exactly the same so they don’t “out-hot each other” which I think is amazing and hilarious. I’m also LOLing at their confessionals – Ariana tells us, “It wasn’t the original goal, to be twins.” While Stassi tells us, “That is what I hoped for.” LMAO.

Jax arrives, and Britt takes a break from getting ready to tell him what Tom and Ariana had said. Jax is upset – he thinks Sandoval is jealous because Ariana never wants to get married.

Lisa goes to James’s apartment, to let him know she spoke with his Mother, and basically that she’s here for him. James opens up to Lisa about his childhood, and he also expresses he’s not drinking. Lisa learns that James is basically paying for his family – his father and his brothers. Lisa finds that very admirable, and it’s understandable why she has a soft spot for him.

The party is in full swing! Scheana definitely seems jelly that Ariana and Stassi are getting along so well. She thinks it’s weird.

Jax pulls Sandoval aside, and confronts him about what he said. Sandoval apologizes and they quickly make up -it’s basically water under the bridge. (I am LOLing at Sandoval in his confessional, though – “Jax is a recovering sociopath.”)

Raquel is here – Kristen decides to bring her a “Welcome Drink.” The Girls end up briefly arguing over James – Raquel accuses Stassi and Kristen of “wanting him to fail” and Stassi says, “He called my best friend fat, of course I want him to fail!”

Fast forward to 1:49 AM – Stassi inside, taking off her makeup, and texting & calling Beau excessively because she wants him to come to bed with her. We see Beau still partying with all the guys, and he definitely doesn’t hear his phone. I’m unsure if something went down that we didn’t see – there’s a missing gap from the party, I’m guessing, hence the fast forward. Stassi thinks Beau is ignoring her and is getting pissed.

She smashes her phone down, and we can hear her crying in bed. Looks like 30 can still bring a birthday meltdown!

Next week it looks like we find out what happened between Stassi and Beau. We also learn that Lisa plans on bringing back James on Tuesday’s – much to everyone’s dismay.

What’d you guys think of this weeks episode!? Leave me a comment!

Until next week….